#btswritersc

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Saturday, May 15th

You wake up to the sound of barking and whining, and you roll over, trying to hide your face under the pillow.

You love Bam. You really do. But waking up every morning at 5 am because the puppy is crying out for attention has been getting really hard. You wish the dog would understand the concept of weekends, and that he’d at least be calmer on Saturdays and Sundays, but no, he’s up and ready for the day every day at 5 am.

It should get better. The breeder said that it’s better to try to ignore him until he understands that he doesn’t get to dictate the schedule, and that he has to adapt to yours, but it’s hard when that dog knows how to yap to get under your skin.

Jungkook suggested that you should put his kennel in the basement so that you’d stop hearing him in the morning, but the thought of the puppy alone down there in the dark makes you want to cry. So you endure the crying and the barking every morning.

Jungkook groans next to you, and you feel the mattress shift. You turn your head to crack an eye open. He’s sitting on the side of the bed, hair sticking out in all directions. You spy a scratch on his back from the activities you were up to before sleeping, and you reach out to trace it.

“I got you good,” you mumble.

“Mmh?” Jungkook lets out, and he looks over his shoulder.

His face is puffy, sleepy, and you wish Bam would let him sleep. Especially considering that he had nightmares for a few nights in a row after someone showed up on his doorstep earlier this week.

It was scary. But they’re in jail right now, as they tried to break in, and you’ve been telling yourself that you’re okay.

Jungkook loves this house. You don’t want to make him move, even though that was initially the plan when you moved in last month.

“I’ll take care of him,” Jungkook grumbles when Bam barks again, even louder this time. He gets up, stretching, and you watch as he struggles to put his sweatpants on. And then he’s out the door, heading to the room next door where you usually leave Bam to sleep.

You’re unable to fall back asleep as you wait for Jungkook to come back. He always tells you that you don’t have to wait, but you can’t help yourself.

You don’t like sleeping in his bed without him. It feels too empty, and it’s a feeling that makes you far too uneasy.

Though you don’t fall back asleep, you do close your eyes, and your mind replays the months since November. Starting with the moment he showed up at your parents’ house, not even 24 hours after you’d called him to tell him you wanted to give it a try. You’d just held him for what felt like hours, tears sprouting from your eyes without you even noticing, and he’d whispered sweet nothings in your ear the whole time.

Telling you he loved you, and that he was ready to spend his life loving you, too. It almost sounded like a proposal, and maybe it was a bit much, but it made sense at the time. It still makes sense today when you think back on the way you made love that night.

It was kissing more than anything. Him in you, as hard as he’s ever been, kissing your worries away until you were playdough under his fingers. Indeed, before that, you were still worried that being with him might be too dangerous, but the way he kissed you that night…

It made everything clear. Showed you your place in the world, and you haven’t looked back ever since. The only way is forward, and though it took you a moment before you managed to get a permanent visa – that will likely soon lead to residency with Jungkook’s connections and reputation – you haven’t looked back on your life back in America.

Well, you have only been here a month. It makes sense that you haven’t looked back yet, but you get the feeling that you won’t ever look back. Not when the source of your happiness is right here in this house, about to come back to bed with you.

You roll on your back, sighing happily, as your mind retraces what happened last night. 

You didn’t make love last night. Jungkook fucked you rough, tying you up to the bed and edging you until you were crying. You’re still feeling sensitive between your legs, but the thought of it…

It heats you up, and you tighten your legs, trying to seek for friction.

You’ve been having sex a lot. Like you’re still both desperate for just another touch, another kiss, and though you reckon the honeymoon phase can’t last forever, you’ve been loving this. It makes you feel closer to him to see the way he looks at you whenever he’s buried deep inside of you.

Your cheeks flush red at the crude thoughts invading your mind, and you feel the ghost of his fingers around your neck as he was pounding into you last night, so hard his bed was banging into the wall…

You roll back on your stomach, hiding your face in the pillow again. And then you hear his soft steps as he’s walking back into the bedroom. Bam is barking downstairs, and you turn to look at Jungkook.

He’s beautiful. He’s been starting to work out more again now that he’s getting closer to his album release, and it shows in the way his muscles ripple under his skin as he stretches, running a hand through his hair.

“I put him in the enclosure downstairs with the puzzle thing we got last week,” Jungkook says. “That should keep him busy for a while.”

You hope so. Because, though it’s still early and you should probably sleep more, sleep is the last thing you have on your mind right now.

“Come here,” you say, opening your arms, and Jungkook takes off his sweatpants, walks over to the bed and pulls the covers up so he can join you under them.

He’s in your arms a few heartbeats later, and you hold him tight, massaging his scalp.

“I didn’t have nightmares,” he whispers against your chest.

He usually wakes you up when he has nightmares, as he gets extremely jittery, so you already know that. But you’re happy to hear it nonetheless, and you kiss the top of his head.

“Good,” you whisper.

He sighs, and then he nuzzles his face in your neck. You turn your head to the side, giving him better access, and his lips skim at your skin. It’s a barely-even-there touch, yet it sends a lightning bolt down to your core.

“Did you sleep well?” he asks, his voice a low whisper.

“You know I always sleep good after you fuck me like that.”

He groans, shifting slightly so that he can push a leg between your thighs. It brings him even closer, but you can tell he’s not hard yet.

“You like it, mmh?” he teases.

“I love it.”

He chuckles. “Good girl.”

You pull at his hair, and this time, he laughs for real. He lets you pull his head back, and though you both hate kissing in the morning, you still chase a small kiss on his lips.

There’s no tongue, though, but Jungkook’s body still reacts, his dick hardening against your upper thigh. You shift against it, and one of his hands finds your waist, his fingers digging in the supple skin.

It’s almost ticklish, but it just makes you shift even closer to him.

“You already want to go again?” he teases once you’ve pulled away from the kiss to breathe.

“It might help before sleeping some more,” you point out.

Jungkook laughs. “You’re crazy. I fucking love that about you.”

He then disentangles himself from you to take his boxers off, and you watch as he lies back against the pillows. He’s hidden under the covers, so you push them down until you can see his dick. It’s not all the way hard yet, but he’s pumping himself slowly, and you observe him for a time, before you decide to join in.

You move closer, your hand seeking his dick, and he lets himself go so that you wrap him with your fingers instead. His dick looks a lot bigger in your hand, and it hardens a lot quicker under your touch, the vein that goes from bottom to top standing stark against his skin. You lean closer, licking at it, and Jungkook curses, before murmuring your name.

“Be nice and suck me, mmh?” he says when you just tease him with your tongue again.

You look up at him, meeting his darkened gaze. “It’s your turn to be nice until I decide when you come.”

His jaw clenches, but he still gives you a nod. Because, though you’re mostly submissive, there are moments when you like to take control of him, too.

It’s quite a sight to see, Jeon Jungkook unraveling because of you.

You look back down at his dick as you jerk him off slowly. His tip is slowly turning darker as more blood pumps to his dick, and you lean forward, teasing his slit with the tip of your tongue.

He curses again, but then you’re moving away from his dick, pressing an open-mouthed kiss on his lower stomach. You suck on the skin, too, leaving a purple mark behind that you peck once before you look up at Jungkook again.

He seems out of breath. You’ve barely touched him, and he’s already out of breath. He’s wrapped around your finger, isn’t he?

You give in, just a little, swirling your tongue around his tip as you keep your eyes on him. He frowns, his lips parting on a sharp inhale of breath. You close your mouth around him, sucking lightly as you jerk him up and down once.

And then you leave his dick once more, going down to suck one of his balls in your mouth. 

“Holy fuck,” he groans.

You tease with your tongue, and he curses again, because you know his balls are extremely sensitive. But he likes pain. He’s made that clear on multiple occasions before, so you suck harder. His eyes flutter shut as he says your name, and you let go of his ball to say, “Yes?”

“You’re…” he trails off, clearly knowing that there’s nothing he can say to make you please him faster. 

Because the more he talks, the less you’ll give in. Just like he did to you last night.

So instead of talking, Jungkook pushes your hair behind your ear, though the bulk of it falls behind your shoulder. His hand lingers on your cheek after, and he traces your lips with the tip of a finger, an hungry look taking over his features.

But he’s patient, his hand dropping to his side, though it balls in a fist as you slowly stroke him again.

“You want it?” you ask, and you pick up the pace.

He shuts his eyes, tongue pushing at the inside of his cheek like he’s annoyed, but you know he loves this game just as much as you do. He nods his head, his eyes fluttering open to meet your gaze again.

“Please, baby.”

“Good boy.”

He chuckles, though it breaks as you wrap your lips around his tip and suck hard. His hips push up, like he’s trying to fuck your mouth, but you move with them, not giving in to him. You want to lead this waltz with him, and though you know it’s likely frustrating him right now, he lets you do it.

He always lets you do what you want. It’s one of the things you love the most about him, though you try not to abuse the power you have over him.

You slowly take more of him in your mouth, up until he hits the back of your throat. Your hand still fits around him, and you jerk him off in time with the slow pull back of your head. You swirl your tongue around his tip again as you reach the top, and you taste his salty precum.

He’s harder, too. His dick is like velvety steel in your hand, so you give him more, suck him harder as you jerk him faster. It’s sloppy, and maybe you should be disgusted because it’s morning and you’re being a mess, but Jungkook is moaning and groaning under your ministrations, and it gets you so wet that you reckon you might come by listening to him only.

“Fuck, baby,” he groans as you pull away to breathe for a few seconds. 

You jerk him off fast, and you meet his gaze to see he’s watching you through his eyelashes.

“Feels so fucking good,” he whispers, and he pushes that same strand of hair behind your ear again. “You’re always so good to me.”

The praise makes you want him so bad that you abandon the task of sucking his dick, climbing on his lap instead. His breath hitches in his throat as you rub your slick wetness on him, and he throws his head back, revealing his Adam’s apple.

You lean in, biting at it, and then you align his dick with your entrance before slowly sinking on him.

It’s slightly sensitive, as you’re obviously still sore from last night, but it also feels so good to have him spearing you wide open like this right now that you let out a high-pitched moan that breaks on the end.

Or maybe it breaks because Jungkook wraps his hand around your neck like a necklace, pulling you down to kiss you deeply.

You both don’t care about morning breath anymore as you kiss, but you don’t let him lead yet, sitting back on him when you’ve had enough of exploring his mouth.

For now, that is. In truth, you know you’ll never have enough of exploring his mouth.

“You’re so hard,” you tell him as he sits deep inside of you, his tip pushing against your cervix.

His dick twitches are your words. “I was about to come,” he admits. “You trying to edge me?”

You slowly move up before sinking back down on him. Your teeth dig in your lower lip, and you tilt your head to the side. “Maybe. Don’t you think it’s deserved after last night?”

He chuckles, but he doesn’t say anything.

Smart man.

“Maybe I should tie you up,” you purr. “Maybe I should only let you come when you’re crying.”

“You’d like that, mmh? Me, begging for you.”

Your pussy clenching around his dick is answer enough. And just like that, the dynamic has shifted again, as you turn to playdough under his hands.

He cups your cheek, his thumb tenderly tracing a line on your skin. “Thought so,” he whispers. “Why don’t you lean down so I can fuck you like this, mmh?”

You shut your eyes, trying to find the defiance you had just a second again, but it’s vanished like fog in the sun. So you lean forward, and Jungkook chuckles, rubbing your side.

“Such a good fucking girl for me,” he says in your ear, with that low, gravelly voice of his he knows drives you insane.

And then he delivers. Indeed, he plants his feet on the mattress, and he starts fucking you rough, an echo of what you were doing last night. You’re so wet it doesn’t quite hurt, but you know you’ll be too sore to fuck for a while after this.

Even if you use crazy amounts of lube like he did last night.

You moan, your head dropping on his shoulder, and he holds your hips, pistoning in you with such precision your mind is swimming with bliss in no time.

And as he keeps fucking you like that, you slip a hand between your bodies, your fingers finding your clit so that you can draw quick circles on it. It does the trick, and your orgasm is born of thin air less than a minute later. You come hard, walls spasming around Jungkook’s dick, and he’s a grunting mess under you as he fucks you slower, milking your high.

You don’t think you actually ever come back from the high. Indeed, you’re swimming in ecstasy when Jungkook spins you over, and then some more, making you lie on your side so that he can fuck you like that, his arm around your waist as he presses your back against his chest. He can’t fuck you quite as deep like this, but you reckon he must be just as exhausted as you are from the lack of sleep, and he just spent a lot of energy in making you come.

But even if he’s slower like this, even if he doesn’t reach as deep, he still fucks you hard. It feels amazing, and you mewl his name as he slightly picks up the pace, his hand on your waist moving up to wrap around your neck again.

He doesn’t quite choke you. He just holds you, and you reach behind to hold the back of his head. It’s intimate – much like everything that just transpired between you and him. Yet it shifts the atmosphere of the room into one of loving passion, and Jungkook makes love to you then, whispering in your ear how pretty you are when you come for him.

But also how pretty you are, always. Because, to him, you’re the prettiest girl in the world.

You’re smiling. You’re smiling, your mind still lost in the ecstasy of your high, and you let Jungkook push you so you’re partly lying on your stomach. He hikes your leg up, and he fucks you from that angle too. It makes a squelching noise each time he pushes in, which is strange as you’re not usually extremely wet in the morning, but you don’t care.

It feels too good, and you just want him to come for you, too. So you say, “Jungkook, fill me up.”

He curses, and then he pecks your cheek. “Give me a second, baby. I just need to feel you a little more.”

In truth, it might be your fault that he’s struggling to come. He always struggles to come when he’s been edged, and though you found the idea hot earlier, you just want him to lose himself in you like you lost yourself in him when you came.

“Fuck me harder,” you beg.

He chuckles, and he pecks your cheek once more. “Let me love you.”

“You can love me by fucking me hard,” you grumble.

He laughs this time, and you can’t help the way a smile pulls at the corners of your lips. But, thankfully, he gives in, and he kneels so that he can indeed fuck you harder.

“You’re going to take it like a good girl?” he asks.

You look at him. At the beads of sweat on his forehead, to which strands of hair are sticking. At the blush on his chest from the physical effort he’s been putting into fucking you, and you bite at your lip again.

That, more than anything, unleashes him. Indeed, Jungkook starts fucking you fast and rough, his hand on your hip holding you to make sure he doesn’t push you back against the bed, and it’s not too long before he’s reaching his high, too.

He slams home, coming deep inside of you, and he groans your name as his dick twitches and twitches inside of you, spurting cum deep in your pussy. He bends down before he’s done coming, like he always does – he likes to feel you close when he comes – and soon, he’s breathing raggedly as his high finally passes, his forehead on the side of your face.

“Fuck,” he grunts.

You laugh. “That was good.”

He pecks your cheek as he laughs, too. “You better sleep like an angel, now.”

“I definitely will,” you reply. “This was not the lazy sex I was expecting.”

“When has sex between us ever been lazy?” Jungkook points out.

He’s got a point, and you just chuckle as he pecks your cheek one last time before straightening, his dick slipping out of you. His cum also follows, but he’s quick to grab some tissues on the nightstand to keep it from staining the sheets.

You clean both of yourselves up quickly in the bathroom that’s attached to Jungkook’s room, exhaustion catching up to you by the time you return to the bed. Right when you’re about to fall back asleep, your head resting on Jungkook’s chest as you listen to his heartbeat, Bam barks loudly.

Guess he’s figured out the puzzle, after all.

Sunday, June 6th

The venue for Taehyung and Jennie’s wedding is magical. It feels like you stepped right into a fairytale, and you reckon it’ll be inspiring for your book.

Indeed, everything is decorated in white, with strings of white flowers entwined with purple ones hanging from the ceiling. It’d be a nightmare of bees and other bugs if you were outside, but inside, with the glass ceiling above creating a kaleidoscope of light, it just looks like you stepped into the pages of a book where the prince and the princess are getting married.

Or at least that’s the inspiration that you get, though the main character of your book will not be marrying a prince at all. 

The middle of the room is split by a low stage that makes up the aisle, with flower petals covering the floor. It makes it look slippery, but you know Jennie is forever steady in heels, and she won’t be the one to slip.

Neither will Taehyung.

You sit to the side of the stage, your summer dress hiking up your thighs as you do so. Jungkook gives you his suit jacket to cover your legs, and you smile at him, warmth bubbling in your chest.

“Thank you,” you tell him.

There’s soft jazz music playing in the background as you wait for the ceremony to start, and Jungkook has been nodding his head along to it. But when he hears your voice, he just meets your gaze, lips curling up.

“Of course.”

He grabs your hand, pulling it up to his mouth so that he can leave a soft peck on the back of your hand. It’s gallant, like he’s a knight from a fantasy novel – maybe the one from your book, after all. It makes you giggle, and he grins at the sound, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“JK!” the oh so recognizable voice of Kim Mingyu yells from the side, and you both turn to see your recently discharged friend walking in your direction.

A pretty blonde-haired girl is following close behind, and she smiles at you.

Ah. Im Daeun. The girl who has stolen Mingyu’s heart. 

She’s beautiful. Smaller than you imagined she would be. Mingyu looks like a giant next to her despite the heels she’s wearing, yet her blue dress reveals long legs.

She has the shape of a model, just smaller. It’s cute, and you definitely can see what Mingyu sees in her.

Jungkook gets up, and he and Mingyu dap each other up. Mingyu then looks at you, grinning that iconic grin of his. You get up, hugging him too, and then he motions to Daeun so that she steps forward.

“Daeun, meet Y/n and Jungkook,” he says.

She seems shy, and she just lets out a small, “Nice to meet you.”

You return it, and then add, “I love your dress.”

Daeun smiles, looking down at herself. “Thank you so much.”

“Mingyu has told us a lot about you,” Jungkook adds. “I’ve heard you’re a nurse at the military camp.”

“He has?” Daeun lets out like she’s surprised that Mingyu talks about her. “Yeah, I am.”

“That must not be an easy job,” you comment. “You’re courageous.”

“Well, it really isn’t too bad,” Daeun says. “Except when this idiot gets injured, I guess.”

“Yah, you say you’re happy to see me!”

“Of course I was,” she replies as she looks up at him, and the way her features glow when their gazes lock is a thing from a movie. “But it was also strange to see my ex like that.”

“Stop, it was just a meet-cute kind of thing,” Mingyu replies as he smiles down at her, and he wraps his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer. “I bet Y/n’ll use it for inspiration for a book some day.”

“I just might,” you reply, and Daeun grins, though her cheeks dust with red prettily.

There’s then a short moment of awkwardness, none of you really knowing how to pursue the conversation, but you’re saved by the music dimming, and you’re told to sit for the ceremony to start. You sit between Jungkook and Daeun, and it doesn’t take too long before Taehyung is walking down the stage, waiting at the head of it for Jennie to join.

The music changes for Jennie, a piano rendition of one of the boys’ songs playing. Hoseok is actually playing it live, and it sounds beautiful, so gentle like this that tears well up in your gaze. Though you reckon the tears might just be caused by the vision of Jennie in her white dress. She does look like a princess right now, like she’s the heroine from the book, and you’re hit with such a powerful wave of happiness and love for your friend that you can’t stop the tears from slipping on your cheeks. 

Daeun hands you a tissue, and you chuckle softly, grabbing it to wipe your eyes.

And then you watch your friends getting married. It’s a beautiful ceremony, more touching than you’d expected it to be, and you reckon you cry through most of it. Jungkook is crying too, and Daeun also ends up passing him a tissue.

While Taehyung is saying his vows, Jungkook glances at you, and your gazes lock.

You’re so in love with him. With this soft, gentle man who’s crying at his friends’ wedding. He carries so much tenderness in his heart, and to be on the receiving end of it is something magical.

Who needs magic and fantasy books when you can experience a love like the one you share with Jungkook?

Like the one Taehyung and Jennie share, too?

You’re smiling wide by the time the ceremony ends, and Taehyung and Jennie walk down the stage, waving at the crowd. You’re all throwing white petals on them as they walk, and they laugh, happiness radiating from them brighter than the sun.

When they’ve passed in front of you, heading down the stage towards some other friends and distant family members, Jungkook pulls you into his side, pressing a kiss on your temple.

And then he leans a little closer, and whispers in your ear, “I want to marry you one day.”

You shut your eyes, smiling softly.

The sun truly has risen on your life now, leaving darkness behind. It shines bright, and you lean back against Jungkook. He’s strong, steady behind you.

Like he’ll always be when it comes to you.

*****

Jungkook doesn’t know why he feels anxious. He never really feels anxious when he’s about to perform, but it feels stressful when he knows he’s about to perform to a crowd of friends and family members of Jennie and Taehyung that he doesn’t know.

But the rest of the group is around him too, including the now married man, and he shouldn’t be anxious. And he reckons he might not be anxious about the performance. It might not even be about that, at all.

In truth, he doesn’t even know what there is to be anxious about. He might not know everyone out there, but he never knows all of the fans at their concerts, and they’ve performed in stadiums with easily sixty thousand people in attendance before.

Maybe it’s the intimacy of this performance. Or maybe it’s because it’s at Taehyung’s wedding, and it feels like sending him off to his new life. He’s happy for Taehyung, obviously, but part of him is also sad.

This will be their last performance as a group for a while. They’re going to release an album, one of these days, as they’ve already started working on it a while ago – the second they were back from the tour, as a matter of fact – but they’ve all agreed to live for a little while.

To focus on relationships, family and life in general. Especially now that Seokjin is a father, Hoseok is engaged, Yoongi founded a music school for autistic kids, Taehyung is married, Namjoon decided to pursue higher education, and Jimin has started building a career in the dancing industry.

He’ll likely be a Kpop idol of his own soon, with the talent that he has.

And Jungkook… Well, Jungkook has you. He has his album, of course, but he mostly has you. And he wants to dedicate his life to you now that he has the chance to be with you. 

Years ago, this ending of the chapter of BTS would have been scary. But now, it feels like the beginning of something new. And it’s not like they are truly over, either. They will release that album one day.

Maybe a couple of years down the line. By then, he hopes he’ll be married to you. He’d say he knows he will be, but a tiny, insecure part of him wonders if there’s a possibility you’ll say no when he proposes.

“Let’s go!” Namjoon enthusiastically says, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts, and then they’re walking on the stage from before, where their respective instruments have been brought.

The stage isn’t lit up with fancy stage lights like the group is used to. It’s just regular lighting, so Jungkook can see everyone looking at them as they settle at their instruments. So, naturally, his eyes scan the room, and he sees you standing next to Jennie. You wave when you see him looking, and his anxiety finishes slipping away, replaced with a wave of love for you so strong it almost makes him fall.

You’re the one. He’s known it for a really long time now, but as he sees you standing there, in the pretty dress he convinced you to wear because the color looks amazing on you, Jungkook realizes it fully. It settles in his bone, in his soul, so deep it’s like your soul is now entwined with his.

You’re the love of his life. And he’s the luckiest man alive to get to be by your side despite everything that’s happened between the two of you. So, yes, he’ll marry you one day. He’ll make you his wife, and he’ll be your husband.

It’s with that in mind that he plays the drums with all of his heart, and when they’re done with the performance, he joins you on the dancefloor. Idle music plays, yet he still pulls you into a small dance.

You laugh, stumbling into his chest. “That was a good performance,” you tell him as he spins you around. “Jennie’s mother was clapping the whole time.”

Jungkook looks in the direction of Jennie’s mother, and she’s currently smiling from ear to ear at Taehyung as he’s playfully dancing in front of her, Jennie standing to the side laughing.

“She’s one of our biggest fans, I swear,” Jungkook says. 

Indeed, the older lady has seen them perform more often than even Jennie has, requesting tickets constantly. She’d used to ask Jennie for them, but she eventually bypassed Jennie straight to Taehyung.

You laugh. “That’s adorable. A supportive mother-in-law.”

Jungkook turns you back so you’re facing him again. He leans in, presses a quick peck to the tip of your nose, and then says, “Like your mother.”

You’re giggling this time, and you swat his chest. “Yah, you’re not her son-in-law yet.”

“But I will be one day.”

From the way your eyes sparkle, Jungkook knows that he will, indeed, be. And frankly, he already knows what ring he’ll buy. And he’s planning to buy it soon. You’re going to Jeju after his album release, before he’s to start a small tour – which you said you will follow him on – and he’s planning to propose to you there, at the swing.

Hopefully, the swing still exists. But even if it doesn’t, the beach, the sun and the stars will be there to guide him. They’ll be the eternal witnesses of his love to you, like they’ve already been multiple times before. He doesn’t need more than them.

It might be too fast to propose already. Technically, you’ve only been together since November last year. But he’s loved you for far longer than that, and he knows you have, too. You both just had to heal from the hardships life threw at you before you could get to where you are today. And it feels natural that the next step in your relationship is to get married.

Though he doesn’t mind waiting a while before getting married. He just wants to propose, and to see a ring on your finger that represents everything that you are to him. Hell, he wants the world to know you’re his, and that he’s yours. It might be a little possessive, but after everything… He really just wants to be yours, and for you to be his.

But for tonight, Jungkook celebrates the wedding of two of his closest friends along with you. Along with most of his friends, too, and he’s happy to see Mingyu and Daeun. He had his doubts originally when he heard about her, but seeing her and Mingyu…

They just make sense.

Jungkook dances with you late into the night, and you stumble home together, smiles on your lips, feet aching from all the dancing. Bam is excited to see you, and you quickly take him outside in the inner yard while Jungkook makes you a quick snack. And though the sun is already starting to rise and you’re both exhausted, Jungkook still makes love to you.

You don’t even make it to the bedroom. He has you in the kitchen, the food half-eaten on the counter next to you.

When you do eventually make it to the bedroom, the sun has fully risen outside, and Jungkook holds you against him, sleep finding him soon after he kisses the top of your head and whispers,

“I love you.”

He really fucking does.

Thursday, June 24th

You’re excited. So, so excited about tonight. About the moment the clock will hit midnight, and everyone in the room will finally get to hear how talented your boyfriend is.

But where you’re excited, you can tell that Jungkook is anxious. He’s been fiddling with his hands constantly since you got here, playing with the rings on his fingers, and he seems distracted when he talks to the people that come up to him.

You check your phone for the time. You still have an hour and a half before the grand reveal, and you reckon Jungkook might just need a moment away from the crowd to collect himself. 

He’s told you about the panic attacks he used to get when he was younger. And you promised to yourself that you’d always be there for him if you sensed his unease. And he’s clearly uneasy as he stands there, talking to execs from his company that have been telling him he’s grown a little careless over the last few weeks.

By careless, they mean he’s been too honest with his fans in the lives he’s done recently, and that he should tame it down. But what’s beautiful is that, Jungkook only accepted to sign with them for his album if they gave him full creative and publicity freedom. So he’s hired a publicist team from outside of the company, and he finally is not shackled to the company like he used to be.

Before, a single critic of them could lead him to be pulled from concerts and the likes. But now, he has freedom to do whatever he wants, and you know that that’s what he’s been craving as an artist. It shows with how different his music actually is from the one that the company pushed on him with his solo album years ago.

Jungkook had fun with that old album, he promised you, but none of the songs come even remotely close to what is on his new album. Which you reckon might be why he’s so anxious about it right now.

He’s afraid the fans will hate the direction he’s chosen to take.

“Jungkook,” you say as you go up to him, and you grab his hand, squeezing once.

His palm is clammy, and he barely squeezes your hand back. His eyes move to you, though, and he relaxes ever so slightly at the sight of you.

“Can I talk to you about something?” you ask.

The execs are watching with barely even hidden frowns on their features, like they’re insulted that you’ve interrupted. But can’t they tell they are making him feel uncomfortable?

They probably don’t even care.

“Yes, what’s up?” Jungkook asks.

You turn around, pulling him behind you. You head to the small, private room near the bar where you were earlier – you got ready here before the event started, but it’s tiny. There are only two thick-cushioned seats and a vanity in here, but luckily the door locks from the inside.

You assume there must be a key somewhere to open it from the outside, but you decide to tempt fate and hope no one comes snooping.

“Are you okay?” you ask Jungkook once you’re in, and the door is closed and locked.

He takes a deep breath. “Thank you.”

That’s all he says before he pulls you into a tight hug, and he leans his chin on the top of your head. Your arms snake around his waist, and you gently run your hand on his back as you stand there for a while, just appreciating each other’s embrace. You can hear his heart beating in his chest, and it slowly slows down until it reaches a normal speed again.

Only then does Jungkook pull away, meeting your gaze.

“I swear those assholes think they can still control me,” Jungkook says, and he runs a hand through his hair. “They didn’t like the album.”

So, that’s what they were saying. And you can tell it played into Jungkook's fears, because he shuts his eyes tight, his hand closing in a tight fist.

“They’re wrong about it,” you reply. “Everyone you’ve shown it to loved it, Jungkook.”

“Yes.” He sighs. “I know. But I guess… I guess I was just hoping they’d think the change of pace was fun. But they said it makes for an uninteresting album.”

“They’ve been working with Kpop idols lately and it shows,” you say. “They can’t appreciate gentler music anymore.”

“But will anyone actually enjoy it, though?”

You raise your hands to cup Jungkook’s cheeks. “Everyone will,” you promise. “But what’s important is that you love this album. You poured your heart into it, and anyone that truly knows you will also love it.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a time, just holding your gaze. You let him collect himself, let him find in your gaze what he needs. And slowly, his features warm, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“You know I love you, right?”

Your lips curve upwards, too. “I know. And I love you too.”

He bends down to kiss you, his soft lips emptying your mind. He then leans his forehead against yours, taking a deep breath.

“Can I say that the album is dedicated to you after we listen?” he asks in a whisper.

Your heart stops in your chest. “You don’t have to.”

He pulls away, though his hands find your waist. “But I want to. Because it is. Every single song is about you, or about a part of our relationship and how I felt about it. It exists because of you.” He pauses, pecking your lips once. “You’re my muse.”

You chuckle. “Of course I am,” you tease.

He laughs softly, and then kisses you again. And while he kisses you, you can’t help but think, do you want people to know? That would make you and Jeon Jungkook very official to the world, and though he technically can do it, you’re afraid of the repercussions it might have on him.

Not only that, but it would put you in the spotlight a thousand times more than you’ve been before. And after what happened a little over a year and a half ago now…

You don’t know if you’re ready to stand in the spotlight with him. To fully accept the mantle of his girlfriend in the public eye. What if some crazy fans try to hurt you again?

But then again… pictures of you have surfaced online. And this time around, you’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of love from his fans. There has been hate, yes, but mostly it’s been love. It’s been encouraging messages, it’s been people saying that Jungkook looks happier now, and that you have to be the reason behind it. And maybe that love comes from the fact he’s not quite under the same spotlight that he was as part of BTS, even though he’s still very much so part of the group. But they haven’t really done anything as a group after the tour, at least not anything that the public could see.

It helps that the public has turned to an up-and-coming Kpop group that’s been breaking records BTS set back in their days. Maybe they don’t quite care about Jungkook – and the other members, you reckon – as much as they used to.

Or maybe you’re just trying to convince yourself that it’s okay if Jungkook wants to tell everyone about you. Because at the end of the day, you do want to share the spotlight with him. You don’t want him to be burdened by it alone. Not when you can face it together. He’s the inspiration behind the love interest in your new book, after all. It won’t take long for people to figure that out.

And maybe it’s not even convincing that you want to share the spotlight with him that you need. Maybe, on the contrary, you’re trying to figure out the reasons you should say no. With what happened to you that November night, you feel like you should not want to be in the spotlight at all. But somehow, it doesn’t scare you.

It hasn’t scared you since you moved here in April. Not when you know Jungkook will always keep you safe.

So maybe, the only reason why you’re hesitating is because you think you should say no. You think someone with your history, that experienced what you have, should say no. But when Jungkook pulls back from the kiss to meet your gaze, the only answer you have on your lips is, “Yes.”

He kisses you again. It’s more intense this time, and you let out a surprised sound that he swallows easily. He smiles in the kiss, and when he pulls away again, you feel yourself falling in love with him all over again just from the way he looks at you.

It’s not a look that’s much different than the ones he usually reserves for you. But that happiness, that light in his eyes… To know you’re the cause of it is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever experienced.

“So I’ll tell them,” Jungkook whispers then. “I’ll tell them I was lucky to fall in love with a girl, and that though we went through a lot of hardships, we figured it out in the end.”

“We sure did.”

His lips are on yours again, and you lose yourself in the kiss, in the passion shared. It makes your blood boil in your veins with sudden desire for Jungkook. He must feel it too, because when he pulls away, his eyes have darkened, and he seems just a little out of breath.

Even more so as you pull on his belt, unbuckling it, and then you unbutton his pants.

You trace your hand on the imprint of his dick in his pants. His breath hitches in his throat, and you drop to your knees.

“Y/n, you don’t have to…” he trails off, because you’ve kissed him over the fabric.

“But I want to,” you tell him. “You seemed stressed earlier, and I just want to take the stress off your shoulders for a bit.”

Jungkook glances at the door, making sure that it’s locked.

“You’re crazy,” he then says, but he’s smirking, and he wets his lips as he looks down at you.

“You like it,” you tease.

“I fucking love it.”

It doesn’t take too long before you’ve pushed his pants down his legs. They stay around his ankles, and his boxers soon follow. You’d take your time, but you’re still in public to a certain extent, and you don’t want him to disappear for too long.

Especially not when this party is for him, after all.

You lick at his tip, and Jungkook pulls at his piercings as he looks down at you. 

“I want you to fuck my mouth,” you say, and you suck on his tip once. “Use me as your stress ball.”

He chuckles. “You’d like that, mmh?”

You nod. “Please.”

“I’m the one that should be begging for it,” he says as he traces your lips with his thumb. 

He then grabs his dick, and he taps it on your mouth. You part your lips, sticking your tongue out, and he taps his dick on the wet muscle. 

“You look so fucking pretty like this,” Jungkook says as he strokes himself.

He’s gotten a lot harder already, and you know from the way his breathing is ragged that he won’t last for long. Which is perfect considering you have to go back to the party.

“You tap my leg if it’s too much, m’kay?” he says.

“Always.”

It’s not the first time you’ve done this. You’ve done it on multiple occasions before, and Jungkook never goes too far. Never really hurts you, though you always do choke on him. But that’s only because he’s big, and you know he loves the feeling of it anyway.

Jungkook finally pushes his dick in your mouth, and you open up your throat, looking up at him. His gaze is locked on yours, and he starts with slow motions as he holds onto your cheeks. You flatten your tongue for him, teasing him when he’s pulling back. 

He doesn’t remain slow for long. Indeed, you both like it faster and rougher, and tonight is no different. No, tonight he ends up fucking your mouth like there’s no tomorrow. The sounds you make are obscene, and you’re slightly concerned that someone outside of the room might hear, but then again there’s music playing out there.

Hopefully, it’s enough to cover the sounds that you and Jeon Jungkook are currently making. Because he soon turns into a mess, too, cursing and groaning and saying your name like it’s a prayer. It’s sinful, immensely so, and you’re dripping in your panties, much like drool is dripping from your chin.

But the goal is to please him right now. To relieve him of some of the stress he was feeling, though you know it might be short-lived.

The stress will return the second you step outside of this small room. But for now, you let him enjoy himself, let him lose himself in your mouth, and when he tells you that he’s about to come, you let him come down your throat, swallowing everything without complaining.

“My good girl,” he says when you show your empty mouth. “My own fucking good girl.”

He pulls you up into a kiss that steals your breath away. It’s languid, sloppy, and you know he has to be tasting himself on your tongue. But he doesn’t seem to care, so neither do you.

When you pull away from the kiss to breathe, Jungkook puts his boxers and pants back on. You go check yourself in the vanity, and you’re happy you’re wearing a black dress. Because you’re pretty sure you drooled on yourself, but it doesn’t show on the dark fabric. You take a moment to quickly fix your makeup, just so that no one can tell you just got your mouth fucked, and then you head back to where Jungkook is patiently waiting for you.

“Let’s go tell the world that I love you now, m’kay?” he says as you stop in front of him.

“Let’s.”

He holds out his hand, and you entwine your fingers. He pulls you to him for one last chaste kiss unlike the ones you’ve exchanged in this room so far, but it still makes your heart beat steadily for him. 

And then you’re following him out into the dark room where the party is held and to the bar. He orders you a lychee martini, to help with the taste, he teases in a whisper, and then you’re joined by your friends.

If they’ve noticed your absence, they don’t say it. They just tell Jungkook that they’re excited, and time passes quickly after that, up until it’s time to listen to the album.

People settle around the room as the first track starts. Cushions have been handed to everyone so they can sit directly on the floor, almost like you’re sitting at a campfire listening to Jungkook’s music. 

And the cheers he gets by the time the album ends are enough to bring tears to your eyes. You let them spill freely, especially as Jungkook goes to stand on the small stage in the corner of the room.

A spotlight shines on him, and he’s grinning from ear to ear. You’ve never been this proud of him.

Jennie leans her head on your shoulder. “This album is about you,” she whispers.

“I know.”

“Everyone,” Jungkook says from the stage. “Thank you for coming tonight, and for listening to this album with me. It’s very personal to me, and I kind of feel like I just bared my soul to you all, but…” He chuckles as he scans the room, and his eyes lock with yours. “But someone made a bet with me that I had to release this album one day, and I could never tell her no. She’s my muse, and though it wasn’t easy to make it work between us, I can confidently tell you all that she’s here tonight to celebrate with us.”

The amount of eyes that find you in this room should be scary, but you only have eyes for Jungkook. It’s like everyone else disappeared, even Jennie that is right next to you.

“I’ve written these songs with her in mind,” Jungkook continues. “They’re unlike what I usually do, because she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. Most of you likely know that some people tried to hurt her in the past because of who she is to me, and the fact that she’s still here today… It means the world to me.” 

He’s tearing up, and he takes a moment to breathe while a few of the boys – Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin – whoop for him. And then Jungkook adds, “This album exists because of her. It exists for her, and I hope you will all learn to love her just as much as I have by listening to these songs.”

You’re crying. You’re crying because you love Jungkook so much, and he loves you just as much.

You’re soulmates. Red string at your wrists, bound together forever kind of thing. 

“Y/n,” Jungkook says. “I love you. And thank you for loving me, too.”

And then Jungkook walks over to you. You stand up as he nears you, and he kisses you in front of everyone, one hand on the small of your back while the other cups your cheek. He’s bending you back just a little, and people are cheering, and you know people are taking pictures, too.

You know you will be on the front page of every tabloid tomorrow, but you don’t care. You’re not afraid anymore.

No, you’re just happy to be here with Jeon Jungkook.

Tuesday, July 27th

The sun has slowly been inching towards the horizon, painting the sea and the sky in golden hues akin to those you usually only see in pictures. It’s beautiful, the sound of the waves and the occasional seagull a relaxing melody as you walk along the beach with Jennie.

Taehyung is somewhere behind you, taking pictures with his professional camera. You’d initially said you wanted to stay at the house, but you’re happy Jennie convinced you to go for a walk.

The weather is amazing. The breeze is just warm enough, the salty smell of the ocean wrapping around you gently. And the dress Jennie convinced you to wear is going to look amazing in the pictures she suggested you take.

“Should we stop here?” you ask, glancing over your shoulder to see that Taehyung is currently snapping a picture of you and her.

Jennie, arm in arm with you, just keeps walking, pulling you with her. “No, let’s walk some more.”

You sigh in annoyance, though the soft sand is still warm under your feet, and the water is fresh as it laps at your ankles.

Jeju is beautiful. Nearly two years later, Jeju is just as beautiful as it was the first time you came around. But it’s different this time – there’s more love in the air, as everyone brought their partners, and you’re here for Jungkook’s solo tour.

The boys will do a surprise appearance at some concerts here and there, but it’ll mostly be just Jungkook, and you cheering on him from backstage.  You’re excited, as it’ll be your first experience with touring, and though it might make it hard for you to focus on writing your book, you’ll still try to put a couple of hours in every day. 

The tour is a lot shorter than the last BTS one, thankfully. You’ll be back in Seoul for the holidays in December, with one last concert over there that hasn’t been announced yet, but that will be as the tour slowly comes to an end.

It’s going to be the experience of a lifetime. And to get to do this with Jungkook… you really can’t fucking wait. 

But you do feel bad for Bam, who’ll be babysat by Jennie and Taehyung for the next few months.

The world has received the news about yours and Jungkook’s relationship better than you thought they would. Though some people seemed shocked initially, Jungkook was quickly praised for his honesty, and it led to a wave of celebrities sharing their own partners on social media. It’s been great for the industry, much like the show about what happened to you has been, the one you did an interview for almost a year ago. It was filmed during the first few months of the year, and it’s also been receiving praise for its depiction of the reality that celebrities face.

The expectations that are put on celebrities in Korea have always been toxic, but now… now people seem to finally start accepting that they are people with lives of their own. They aren’t just images on the other side of a screen, much like you’d once believed before you met Jennie, and then Mingyu, and then the rest of them.

They’re allowed to be humans. Jungkook has been really vocal about it, and he’s been receiving a lot of support for it. You’re proud of him, of the change he’s bringing in the industry, and you stand tall at his side whenever you do public appearances now.

Not that you’ve done a lot. But every time he asks you to attend an event or another with him, instead of being scared like you would have been in the months after your assault, you straighten your back, look forward, and let your inner strength guide you. 

You’ve healed. You’ve healed so much after what’s happened to you, and sometimes, you struggle to believe the road that you’ve been on. But your friends, and mostly Jungkook, are good at reminding you.

You love them. Jennie, Hyunseok, Mingyu, even Taehyung. You love them. You’re thankful for them, more than you’ll ever be able to understand.

But it pales in comparison to how much you love Jungkook. To how much you fall for him harder every day. It’s like there’s no limit to how much your heart can beat for him, and it grows exponentially with every moment that you get to spend with him.

You look ahead, noticing a lone figure standing there. You frown, glancing at Jennie. She’s got a small smile on her lips, and she taps your hand as you keep on walking.

Towards that person. And you reckon, you recognized him the second you saw him. You’re just confused as to what he’s doing there – isn’t he back at the house?

But then you notice the swing. It’s been decorated with flowers, turning it into an arch like one you’d see at a wedding, and Jungkook is wearing pale pants along with a light blue dress shirt that makes his warm-toned skin stand out.

Jennie leads you to him, as your heart starts beating faster in your chest. And when you stop next to Jungkook, Jennie squeezes your hand one last time before she runs away to where Taehyung is now snapping pictures of you and Jungkook.

“What is going on?” you ask Jungkook, and he grabs your hands.

He brings one up to his mouth, and he presses a small kiss on your knuckles.

“Hey,” he says.

His voice is heavy with emotion. Just like that, your heart starts racing even faster, and you feel tears forming in your gaze.

“Hey,” you reply, and you chuckle. “What are you doing?”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” You understand immediately, and a tear rolls on your cheek. “Why are you crying already?” Jungkook dries your tear, and you both laugh. “I’ve prepared a speech, keep the tears for the speech.”

You giggle, giving him a nod. “Sorry.”

He leans forward, pressing a soft peck to your forehead. “Don’t be sorry.”

There’s a short silence of you and Jeon Jungkook looking at each other. It stretches into a small eternity, as the wind dances in your hair, playing with your dress. The waves relentlessly hit the shore, and a seagull cries out in the sky as it flies across the golden expanse of it.

“We met two years ago,” Jungkook starts. “The first time I saw you, you were wearing a green dress, and I immediately thought you were the prettiest woman I’d ever seen. But I was awkward and weird, and I made you feel like I didn’t like you.”

You laugh along with him, because it’s something you tease him about regularly. It makes him pout cutely, and you just can’t resist it.

“But I think I already knew then, that it was you,” he continues. “I knew I was going to fall in love with you, and I was just afraid that it wasn’t going to be reciprocated. That I was setting myself up for heartbreak, especially with my history in relationships.”

You squeeze his hands as his eyes fill with water too, silver collecting on his waterline.

“Even though I was afraid, I tried my best to start to get to know you. I was really awkward, and I’m aware of it, so no need to say it again.” You laugh. “But I hadn’t felt genuine feelings like that in years, and they were… intense, to say the least. It all worked out in the end, though.”

It sure did.

“The first time we kissed, we were in the gym at my house,” he adds. “I honestly felt like kissing you would kill me. In a good way, obviously. I’d never felt that way while kissing someone. And that kiss just confirmed everything for me. I had to make you mine, in one way or another.”

You’re crying again. Tears of joy, and they streak down your cheeks to reach the uptilted corners of your lips as you smile at the man you love.

“And then we spent some months getting to know each other. It wasn’t easy with the fact I was getting ready for a tour, but we made it work, and we came here in August. I was so in love with you by then I thought I could never lose you.” He falls silent, his features growing somber. “Until I did. We lost each other, and it was the hardest time of my life. It showed me just how much I care for you. And the fact that we made it through everything…” He lets go of your hands to wipe his cheeks quickly, and then interlaces your fingers again. “It’s proof that you are the one. You’ve been the one from the day I met you. And I’d take the pain again, a hundred thousand times, knowing that it still leads to you in the end. To Okinawa, and Seoul after that. To falling in love with you harder with every day that passes.”

He takes a moment to collect himself, to breathe, before he talks again.

“You make me into the best version of myself. With you, I become lighter, happier. I feel like nothing could ever break me. I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt and so, so lucky. Because you chose me. Despite everything that happened, you choose to stand by my side every day, and there are honestly not enough words in the dictionary to describe how lucky I am. I’m lucky that I get to wake up next to you every day. That I get to love you every day. And that you love me back.”

He pauses, taking a deep breath, and then he lets go of your hands to dig in his pocket. He takes a small, black velvety box out of his pocket, and then he drops to one knee, opening it to reveal the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen.

It’s gold, with a large pale green sapphire sitting in the middle. Small diamonds are circling the sapphire, along with the occasional tiny green sapphire, and the whole thing is shaped like leaves. The gold band isn’t just straight, but has some curves that must have taken a lot of work to shape, and the ring honestly looks straight out of a fantasy book.

You’d imagine that ring on the finger of the heroine in your book. But it will be on your finger, and you already love it more than you’ve ever loved a piece of jewellery.

Not only for what it looks like, but because of what it represents. Because it represents your love, a love that’s vanquished more than it should have had in the first place. Yet it made it through, and here you are standing in front of Jungkook as he prepares to say his next words.

He says your full name with quiet admiration, and then asks, “Will you marry me?”

The words fall like drops of water in a still pond. For a moment, everything fades around you, and all you hear is the echo of those words as they engrave themselves deep in your heart, deep in your soul and bones. And then…

And then everything rushes back in. The wind, the waves, the sea. The sunset and the man in front of you. The look of awe in his eyes as he gazes up at you. His features are softened by his love for you, and a tear is running on his cheek. 

He’s so beautiful. An angel falling down to Earth. Your angel.

And you’ll get to have your eternity with him.

“Yes,” you reply, and you start laughing. “Yes, Jungkook. Yes, I’ll marry you. A thousand times over, I’ll marry you.”

He laughs, and he grabs the ring with shaky hands to slide it on your finger. It’s the perfect size, and you both just look at it for a few seconds.

Jungkook then says, “You want to get married a thousand times?”

You burst out laughing, and you throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He gets up in one swift motion, and he spins you around as you both laugh, the love you share brighter than the sun kissing the horizon.

“I love you,” Jungkook says as he puts you down, and he kisses you, hands cupping your cheeks to hold you close. “I fucking love you,” he says in your mouth.

“I love you too,” you reply. “I love you so much, Jungkook. I’ve loved you for so long.”

You rake your brain until you can come up with the first core memory you have of him. 

“I think I’ve loved you since I ran into you outside of the bathroom at the club where we first met.”

Jungkook laughs, pulling you closer. “You remember that?”

You lay your hands flat on his chest, much like you did back then. “Yes,” you say with a nod of your head. “I was drunk, but you felt so… real. It was sobering." Your eyes twinkle with mischief. “Except you looked mad at me that I was touching you.”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s laughing. “Yeah, I was like ‘who is this girl?’”

You chuckle. “Just the love of your life, I guess.”

“Just the love of my life,” he agrees, and he kisses the tip of your nose before adding in a much softer whisper, “You’re the love of my life.”

A lump forms in your throat. “And you’re the love of mine.”

He takes your hand, pressing a kiss on the back of it, and then he puts it back on his chest, right above his heart. It’s beating steadily, forever synced with your own heart.

“I’m excited to have forever with you,” he whispers. 

“We’ll have so much fun.”

He nods. “We will.”

And you do. Until you turn to dust at the very end of the road, you and Jeon Jungkook have so much fun. It’s a road paved with laughter, and sometimes tears. It’s made of life, of sickness and healing. Of memories dwindling by the end, to be reminisced with songs about you and him. But most importantly, it’s a road paved with love.

With so much love, twin stars are born in the night sky when you and Jeon Jungkook pass. They shine endlessly, looking down at the world that knew such love. At this world that comes to forget you and him eventually, your existence fading in the memories of the people still alive.

But those stars… They never forget. An eternity later, the stars still remember you and Jeon Jungkook. They whisper about you, until they, too, fade to darkness.

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i am so emotional udhflbskbe i love these two so much you guys have no clue. can't believe this is over, but thank you for reading and following this journey with me. and for the last time, i'll ask, share your thoughts about this chapter, this whole fic, with me here <3 i wanna know everything