If I just replied to your comment on ao3 (and it was a recent comment) — thank you so much for your other comment. I don’t approve and respond to comments very often because Reasons but the truth is they all mean quite a lot to me. While I do think BTBM will eventually be removed, I do still feel glad that people enjoy it.
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My name is Reyhan(Ray-ann)! I’m a 21-year-old student hoping to get my degree in Psychology, with a minor in theatre or creative writing... Or both? You’ll come to find I’m very indecisive. I love art (drawing, literature, theatre, you name it), board games, video games, and of course, writing.
MY WIPS
ERADICATE
When an illness is discovered to be rapidly infecting the population, the world is deemed beyond repair. In an attempt to stop the spread, major cities go into quarantine. Nobody comes in or out. When the people living in a homeless shelter inside one of the quarantine zones realizes that they’ll die if they stay, they escape. Little did they know, the world was much more cruel and devastating outside the walls. The survivors are forced to stick together and attempt to build a life worth living with each other. Together, they look for the simplest thing a person could ask for; a home.
Themes: found family, learning to love, loss, friendship, healing from trauma, finding peace, mental health, choosing one’s destiny, kindness, lgbt
THE WILTED FLOWER
Dinora lives in a perfect town with her perfect family, her perfect best friend, and her perfect boyfriend. But of course, she wants something deeper than perfection. One day the perfection cracks. Dinora wakes up to find the normally bustling town silent, and her father missing. Upon further investigation, she finds everyone else, including her boyfriend has frozen in a catatonic state. She’s alone, until her best friend Fae finds her. Dinora can tell that Fae knows something she doesn’t: Dinora is an android.
Themes: identity crisis, betrayal, lgbt, friends to lovers, autonomy, find an escape, memory loss, friendship, trust, what it means to love
BEFORE THE BLOOD MOON
In a vampire-driven world, one breed of vampires is discriminated against and mass-sacrificed during the Blood Moon festivals. In an attempt to escape his fate, one of these vampires flees and is caught by a group of friends who decide to help him find safety.
Cowriting with @isaacatwriting
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In a time of war, many people don’t get to meet their soulmates. On a person’s 18th birthday, a birthmark is revealed somewhere on their body and on their soulmate’s 18th birthday, the same exact mark will show up. When two women meet, they feel drawn to each other. They feel the same feelings they’ve always heard of when told stories of two soulmates meeting. When they can’t hide their attraction for one another, they begin a relationship in secret, though they fear it will end sadly as same-sex soulmates are said to be impossible. Despite this, they continue the relationship, counting the days until the younger girl’s 18th birthday. But before they can find the truth about their love, the younger girl is swept away with her family when her brother is drafted for the war. The only thing left to the older girl is a letter from her lover. She decides to push past her doubts and find her love, whether or not they’re soulmates, and sets on a journey to find her.
MARNIE AND THE CHOSEN ONES
When Marnie agrees to help her friend start a Gender-Sexuality Alliance at school, she didn’t expect to be nominated for club president. Between being in the closet at home and trying to keep up with the pressures of high school, it seemed like an idiotic idea. Despite all rationality, she agrees to take on the responsibility. This story follows the lives of the students in the GSA as they navigate identity, high school, discrimination, and the newfound freedom they’re granted and fighting for.
THE OUTSKIRST OF LIFE
Past the outskirts, the lost and lonely can feel free. It can feel addictive, and you may never want to come back in. But the longer you stay there, the darker and deadlier it will become. When a girl, numb from the cruelty and mediocrity of Life, is brought back from the outskirts, she must learn to heal past needing the them.
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Ana Kumari tried to be optimistic about life, but everything she does seems slightly out of place. She has a new apartment that looks nice but has an odd smell she cant get rid of, a partner who is nice but generally uninterested, and a job that pays well but doesn’t bring her any joy. One day, she decides to get out of the apartment. On her walk, a device falls out of someone's coat and Ana attempts to return it to it’s owner. In the blink of an eye, it’s as if she’s in a whole other world, trapped underground. Strange occurrences threaten her around every corner. Along her journey to find her way back home, she meets others also trapped. They also have the devices and reveal that they lead the wearer to their deepest desire. Not until each of them realizes their desires will they be set free.
All of these stories have a lot of work and developing needed! Some, heck maybe even all of these, may change storylines, titles, etc. I’m hoping to create individual posts for each story when they’re more developed, and possibly for each character eventually. I’m excited! :D
What’s wrong with beneath the blood moon? If you feel comfy answering
Nothing is wrong, it’s just — something I posted because I was in a very vulnerable place, and didn’t have the proper chance to ask myself what I was willing to share.
Some of you may know I have (had?) DID. I had some severe traumas I didn’t know about that were reflected in BTBM (I won’t spell it out but you can assume) and I wasn’t able to make an informed decision about it.
It’s kind of like I painted a self portrait but didn’t know it was my face I was sharing.
Now that I’m very much in the middle of recovering and thriving, I have the chance to reevaluate how I feel about it. And while I think I could have posted the same fic today and been okay with it, it will always make me feel like I am small and hurting with no idea why.
So yeah. TLDR? I shared something without realizing how deeply personal it was, and now I’m reconsidering if I want it available.
nohmttf/btbm related ask — i’ve been turning that au over in my mind and got to thinking about tawnypelt growing up and having a Lot of fucked up emotions regarding having kits as an adult. i imagine it being kind of a strain on her relationship with rowanclaw (if she even decides to have a mate at all, after all that) — and not to play into the “oh you’ll change your mind” idea when she says as tawnypaw to featherpaw that she’s not having kits, ever — but the idea that maybe, as an adult, years after tigerstar is dead, maybe struggling hard with the idea of wanting a family but not wanting to bear kits, of not being able to get the way tigerstar would say the word “queen” out of her head. i know the whole story is featherpaw’s and stonefur’s at its core, but tawnypelt is my favorite wc character so my thoughts are bound to drift to her in anything skndjdn
oh hell yeah. no no no trust me tawnypelt is a crucial character to nohmttf. little spoiler-y under the cut.
you'll see that feather and tawny will get closer and closer and continue to be friends. because they're bonded on this very specific level. feather's thought process about a lot of things is...fucked up? but also sensible. i'd get into spoiler territory if i said everything i want to, but basically, the cats around her cannot necessarily tell apart fucked up trauma logic and an honest and fair assessment of the situation. but tawnypelt was there, so she can.
and yeah, tawnypelt is herself messed up about this. kind-of a spoiler, but not really, is that i do continue her romance with rowanclaw. y'know, cedarheart's brother, rowanclaw. so they went through this thing together, a lot of it. and there's a lot of difficulty: tawnypelt wants him, but she doesn't know how to actually act on that want, if that makes sense.
also, an aside, but rowan and cedar are dawnpelt's kits here. i generally like to do that because who gives a fuck about darkflower, but also because if you've ever see me hint at dawnpelt's tragedy, then you probably have a sense of the parallelism.
(have i mentioned that explicitly in btbm? i can't remember. it will come up, but i can't remember if it has.)
so yeah, like...the story is about feather and stone, but it's not just about them. it's very much about the effects it has on everyone around them, and tawnypelt is a major player.
re: nohmttf/btbm ask - did you mean to say dawncloud is rowanclaw and cedarheart’s mom, instead of dawnpelt? i got a little confused since dawnpelt is rowan and tawny’s daughter in canon - but if you’re doing something totally different then my bad!
i did mean to say dawncloud, thank you. i get the confusion, totally my bad. too many dawns in my head.
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sorry i keep sending asks about nohmttf please feel free to ignore me if they’re annoying
i was just thinking about it Again and i think to me what makes that story so compelling is that it feels like… in spite of the horrible, evil, ugly reality that all the characters are in, there are these nagging flickers of hope that they’re feeling. that someday things will be better, that someday tigerstar will be gone and riverclan can be what it was before. stonefur can’t bring himself to kill featherpaw and spare her suffering because he has to believe that this can’t be the end, for her and for himself. there’s the hope that he can reunite stormpaw and featherpaw, that he’ll see mistyfoot again, that they’ll come up with some way to survive and get through. it’s not hope as a beautiful shining beacon but hope as the cockroach that survives the apocalypse - even if you don’t want it to be there and even if it feels ugly and wrong and out of place it’s still there. and nothing you or anyone else does can kill it.
and so much love, too. stonefur loves featherpaw, so does mosspelt, so does mudfur. mosspelt loves featherpaw and dawnpaw and she doesn’t know how to save them both and she’s stuck. featherpaw and stonefur love their kits right away, even though they were born from the hell tigerstar put them through. it’s just another one of those things that hangs on and pushes through and makes it possible to even think about choosing to live.
i just think you’ve really tapped into something powerful with this story and i am basically always thinking about it. it’s so good. it’s such a compelling and meaningful piece of fiction.
i love ur asks i know it can take me months to answer asks but i love them.
idk like. the thing is that like. hope is a really hard thing to kill. you said it really well, "hope as the cockroach that survives the apocalypse."
there are times when hope hurts. when the idea that things could be better hurts, because they aren't better. how long do you have to listen to the cockroach skitter over the tile before the bombs start falling. why won't the cockroach die? because if you could just accept this as the best there is, you wouldn't have this fucking hope, that is hurt and crying and hates every minute of this.
but the cockroach doesn't die. and your hope doesn't die. and your love doesn't die.
thank you so much for this ask it means so much to me i'm not sending you a kitten photo because that means whenever i see this post i'll just see a kitten photo and not the ask.
Hey, in the ask you just answered about Tawnypelt, you said that in nohmttf, Rowanclaw is Dawnpelt's son, but canonically Dawnpelt is his daughter. Did you mean Dawnflower?
i meant dawncloud, actually. dawnflower's a riverclan queen.
thank u for this <3 even tho it took me MONTHS to publish it lzkdjf;a
