I'm sad because I'm not gonna see my girlfriend for a week but I'm happy because we got to spend the day together and she said she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and get married in a few years 😭😭😭😭😭

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I'm sad because I'm not gonna see my girlfriend for a week but I'm happy because we got to spend the day together and she said she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and get married in a few years 😭😭😭😭😭

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mmmmm i hate having thoughts and being a shitty person and being alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
forgot to post this last night but guess who has a girlfriend ?????????????????????????????????????? HOLY SHIT
my gf: says nice things to me, talks to me a lot, like willingly decided to be my gf and talks about how happy she is
me: she hates me
my boss was late today to open the store so i went to target and spent $75 on clothes and it turns out i look ok in crop tops?????

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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uhhhhh so if you’ve been following me for 2+ years then you might (??? ) remember that in like july-august 2016 i cut a really important person out of my life because she hurt me, because i had unreciprocated feelings for her, and ultimately the way i thought of our friendship was really problematic and i needed all of it to stop. if i remember correctly she messaged me on skype like two christmases ago asking if i wanted to hang out or talk or smth i dont remember and i think i said “i dont want to do this anymore” or smth to that effect. last year she sent me a message request on facebook asking how i was doing, and i never responded to that. and because of a variety of things that have been happening lately i’ve been thinking about possibly getting in contact with her again in order to explain things and gain Closure or whatever the fuck. just close this chapter of my life 5ever or see what else might happen
BUT ALSO this may or may not be the worst idea ever lmao. basically i would message her on facebook like “ik we havent talked in like two years but i feel like im ready to talk about why i stopped talking to you so if you wanna talk about that lmk, if not its ok” and then like see what happens from there i guess.
is this ????? bad ????????????????????/ should i do it ?????????/? should i like fuckign stop and keep trying to move the fuck on with my life ??????????? pls give me advice lmao
alternatively i could also wait two weeks until i meet with my new therapist and just like try to fucking unload all of this during my intake lmao but that may be awkward/ a Lot
also heres a straw poll if you dont want to write anything lmao https://www.strawpoll.me/15681087
wouldnt it be so cool to like kiss a girl ?????? maybe even like hold hands and cuddle and have a nice meaningful relationship????? wowee