#bruhwhat

Dear Future Self,

It is 2:16 in the A.M. and you’re doing an overnight shift at the one, the only, McD’s. Prior to the start of your shift a co-worker confronted you about a rumour or piece of gossip that you allegedly started- the details are sketchy even as your past self writes this, but apparently you ran your mouth about how your co-worker and another co-worker are going to be the biggest “it-couple” your establishment has ever known.

Dear Future Self, we both know that is bullshit. I, being past me, was outraged by this shitty piece of gossip, and said that was the first time I had ever heard about this rumour, and I’d let my co-worker know if another rumour caught fire and ceased to burn out. Despite all of these words, I could still feel the malice, Future Self- I wanted to make things right. Her shift ended before I could pursue the matter further.

Dear Future Self, learn to produce clear and concise sentences so you can diffuse these types of situations with more finesse.

That is all I ask,

past me