#brown ftm

I'm two months and change on t now and it's been a bit since my last update. Sooo what's new??

Facial hair is coming at me with a VENGENCE. It's both good and bad. Bad bc it's not at the point where I can leave it unshaven and I have anxiety when it comes to hair cleanliness and such so NEEDING to shave has been an issue for my mental health. Good because it's doing its thing and I'm a hairy boy so hopefully I'll end up with a good amount of facial hair by the end of puberty!

My pubes strangely got straighter since starting t?? My voice is deeper than last month in a way that surprised me bc the changes were so noticeable at first to me and then they kept on at the same rate but my voice was lower so that rate didn't seem comparatively like a lot. But I was very sing songy and feminine before so I'm liking my voice more these days despite it still being a cause of dysphoria. My hairline has receded a little bit (yay!!!). My face LOOKS different but I don't know HOW. It just sorta looks like the central gravity of my face is lower but I still look like the same boy just a little older. My NECK. So THICC. With a good vein or two. My shoulders are fitting better into my shirts lately and my collar bones are becoming more prominent. I'm hot all the time. Acne's chugging along but could be much worse. My figure isn't as femme as before (still femme tho). My dick is also getting bigger still, though I didn't really notice the recent changes until yesterday and then I was like OH.

Weird things no one mentions about t? What the HELL is going on with my asshole hair?? Why is the hair on my FEET getting longer and creating connectors to my leg hair area?? The veins on my feet are also more prominent. My happy trail is getting thicker/coarser. There's a weird zone just under my jaw line that's not soft baby boy skin anymore.

I'm having a good time even though my dysphoria's still there. I went to pee today and almost tried to pee standing up before realising I was wearing a packer and didn't actually have a penis. That was a bummer. I've also been having dreams that increase my dysphoria. But being on t has changed my life, no exageration, and I'm so in love with where my body's at and I hope to continue to love her as she changes into the new man I will become.

ALSO the transphobia in my life has increased EXPONENTIALLY since starting t. I believe this also has to do with the fact that I'm a brown boy. All of a sudden when you're brown trans and on hormone therapy, you become offensive to the common cis eye (not even just to obvious transphobes, but to people that I'm sure even consider themselves allies). No one really prepared me for that. I had to drop a class halfway through the term because my professor was being transphobic to me. Like what the hell?? And I got kicked out of my current residence hall for next year (which is all women and trans folk) for being too trans. Some other shit too but DAMN that's my education and living situation that's heavy. And I go to what's considered a VERY liberal school (it was recently criticised by some conservative news stations for being "too" liberal).