#Repost @ifbbbenpak with @repostapp ・・・ #Repost @hypertrophycoach at the @mi40_gym ・・・ Brotraction (you heard it here first) /// [broh-trak-shuh n] /// noun /// 1) The act of brotracting /// 2) A coordinated sequence of movements resembling a total body seizure while attached to excessive load (note: definitely not an exercise by any conventional definition of the word) involving cervical flexion/protrusion, half shrug, half retraction, knee bounce, and well times guttural shouts. /// Execution: 1) Be sure to use excessively heavy weight. A weight you can definitely not move with an actual muscular contraction. 2) Perform the exercise as close as possible to the rack, or off of a bench. Ensuring you do not have to actually rely on your muscle to move the weight (see #1) 3) The exercise is optimally executed at an XXXX tempo. With the goal of moving your body as fast as possible, AROUND the weight, so the weight itself actually moves as little as possible. (Otherwise you would have to be actually strong, that would be exhausting) 4) Grunt as loud as possible to ensure your fellow brotractors are fully aware of your amazing brotracting abilities. Also, this ensures any females in the gym will at least see you touching the gyms heaviest weights (which is like taking a picture by someone else's Bentley, pretending it is yours - the car is for someone actually successful, much as the dumbbells are for someone actually strong). 5) Belt and straps are required (again see #1) /// Expected results: 1) cervical spine injury, degeneration and pain 2) shoulder impingement/potential dislocation 3) soft tissue injury/inflammation (all of it) 4) no actual muscular hypertrophy 5) bro level 5000 awesomeness achieved /// Tag all known brotractors! Share and like to prevent the further spread of brotraction! /// Thank you for the PERFECT execution by @vogelitis (no unicorns were harmed during the course of filming) #hypertrophycoach #brotraction #yeaitsarealthing #youhearditherefirst (at Top Form Fitness)
