Courtesy is an expression of confidence in the martial arts, as well as of respect and humility. Even in Brooklyn. Sometimes under trying circumstances, it takes a masterful degree of self-control to demonstrate a deep value like courtesy, but serious martial artists understand that understand that the art begins and ends with respect. It’s just as true in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as it is in traditional martial arts. No matter who you are or where you go, how you engage with others is an indicator of the things you value the most.

Have you ever been treated rudely? Anyone ever say something insulting to you? Have you ever been made to feel unwelcome somewhere?

If so, then you can understand the importance of courtesy - and why it’s so critical that we treat others with politeness and dignity. It goes for the people we know the best, as well as those we know the least. It’s true for Jiu-Jitsu in Brooklyn and around the world. 

You can start by being inclusionary, rather than exclusionary.

What does it say about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu when a beginner in the martial arts is treated poorly by a senior student? For sure it’s very likely that that student wouldn’t return. They’d have been robbed of the chance to experience the benefit of training, and a potential black belt would be lost.

Is it possible that the time has come to move away from the “law of the jungle” in BJJ and into something more...evolved?

One way to reset the paradigm for yourself is to start small. Anytime you meet someone new in the dojo or work with someone new in a class, give them a warm greeting and make sure they feel welcome.

Respect and courtesy is a habit - and so is the lack of it. Like any good routine, it must be practiced daily, both on and off the mats. Whenever you greet someone, be the first to offer your hand for a polite greeting. Look them in the eye. Smile. Be friendly.

We favor the bow as an expression of courtesy, among other things.

The bow is one of the very first things you learn when you begin training in the Martial Arts. It has been a tradition for thousands of years, and a reminder about courtesy which separates us from most other activities.

It is a simple but meaningful act - one that resonates loudly, even in the modern era.

Being courteous and respectful is a great way to make a strong first and lasting impression on others. It is a quality that reaches beyond the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu dojo to benefit any relationship, personal or professional.