#bronzewords

I feel like Frank and Dina have unconsciously associated BinBons face with Prince Caspian so instinctively trust him even though he’s definitely more in the Dorian Gray league in Punisher. ‘Yes, he may vindictively hunt us but damn if he doesn’t look like a fantasy prince while doing it!’

all the emptiness of busyness and small, small little minds

not the innocence of small but hopeful

rather, the small and temper-filled meanness of boxed-in thinking and fear of the other

they are reducing me piece by piece, line by line, from thought and hope to resignation, mirrored

i have lost myself in the endless nauseous harassment

a dog barking in a cage

when this smooth cold ball of iridium grief breaks through the buoyancy of self-determination and psychiatry to sink deeper, deepest in my heart.

a small and sudden moment of relentless helplessness.

the rage of having no decision left to make, the injustice of rose-tinted glasses.

fear and resignation, combined, a poisonous slinking mess of nausea in the early hours of the morning, that insidious ugly loneliness swiftly transformed into a few moments, a scant few moments, of a half-awake half-asleep echo of warmth.

it’s your fault. it’s your fault.

but i did it too.

melting through my faulty-wired brain, this mass of contradicting denial of fact side by side with a hard-eyed cynicism.

can’t win.

enough.

what’s next? forgiveness.

so i’m pretty sure he outright hates me now.

tonight at dinner with his parents and the other housemate all discussing the usual american political system etc. etc. his dad pointed to me as an example of a centre journalist with an unbiased view.

republican all but spat out his drink to point at me and shout ‘oh my god are you serious?? she’s so left wing it’s insane!’

mind you he hasn’t actually spoken to me or addressed me directly for several days.

anyway. his dad laughed at him.

they’re doing it again

standing outside my door arguing about trump

it’s 9pm and i’m trying to catch up on today’s work while sitting in my room with the door shut and my housemates have decided to have a leftwing-rightwing argument on the validity of society right outside my door.

Ugh I hate those followers :(

gentlecounsel replied to your post “LOVE IT when i get a new follower and click over to see who it is!...”

yes to this