#brokenprism

The first day of high school could be a lot of things. The day you met a new friend, the day you get a lunch tray dropped on you, the day you have a mortifying wardrobe malfunction. What it shouldn't be was the day you almost die AND meet your soulmate. One or the other, not both. However, your life always seemed unnecessarily complicated so when a pair of armed thugs arrived, taking teachers hostage and diligently searching lockers and bags it shouldn't have surprised you. Honestly, it didn't surprise you when they found what they were looking for inside your backpack. You knew your foster dad was shady, shady enough to try and steal money from Two-Face and hide it in your bag like the coward he was. The minions took you, kicking and screaming, out a side door, dragging you by your hair. You tried to fight, swinging wildly and trying to pull away, yelping when you were yanked back easily.

"What are we taking her for? She's just some snot-nosed kid," one of the thugs said, looking around warily. "We don't have time to take a hostage, the Batman's out early today." The other minion scoffed, yanking again on your hair.

"I'm not scared of that psycho, and I want a new plaything, this one looks fun," he said. "A little young normally but she's filling out well." You felt sick rise in your throat at what he had planned for you. He pulled you ahead of the other attacker, letting him fall back to watch his back. You were rounding the side of the school towards the alley, certain you were going to horribly mutilated and murdered, when you swore you saw a shadow amidst the dumpsters.

Then you heard the other thug collapse, grunting. You tried to turn and look, worried that some other gang was coming to join the fun, but the one holding your hair threw you. Your head rocked against the brick wall of the school. You muttered out a curse as you sat down, starting to see black engulfing you, when you made contact with Robin. Before you lost consciousness you saw it, his eyes suddenly in full color, then you succumbed.

Gotham wasn't the place Jason thought he would find a soulmate. He didn't he'd ever see color in the world. Between the rich trying to buy, sell, or steal anything and everything their sick hearts' desired and the criminals who would kill you on sight just for fun he was surprised anyone, including himself, has a soul to begin with. So when black and white suddenly became color he froze, almost missing the fist coming for him face. Almost. His dodge was late, the thugs punch grazing his cheek, not enough to knock him down but enough that he felt pain in his jaw. He still recovered before the attack, throwing his own punch that was reinforced with black brass knuckles, landing true right to side of the thug's head, knocking the man down and out.

Batman looked at him, gaze dark. He dropped the other attacker on top of the first, grabbing the backpack and getting the money from it. They had been tracking this cash, needing it collected before the toxin that it was doused in caused anyone to start laughing. He promptly lit the stack on fire, making sure it burned to ash, while Jason picked up the girl and took her out of the alley, nearer to the school. He waved down the GCPD that was there and saw two officers come running, waving for an ambulance to follow them down the street. He took one more glance at her, his soulmate, before going back to the alley. Batman motioned to the building next to them and Jason followed, grappling to the roof and landing just after Batman, knowing he was going to get chewed out for at least two things.

"Brass knuckles Robin?" Batman asked. "Those are something you aren't able to use properly yet." Jason glared, but bit his tongue. Better a tongue lashing now than extra training drills in the evening. "And what happened back there? You hesitated, that isn't like you." Jason didn't answer again. The last thing he needed was Batman knowing that the world wasn't in shades of gray for Jason anymore. He could see the red of the bricks of the school, he had seen the brown in your eyes, and the auburn of your hair. He had no idea what these colors were actually called, he would have to borrow the flashcards Dick had bought when he'd met Barbara. "Start talking Robin."

"The brass knuckles are helpful, I didn't need to use more energy to take out that guy who is literally twice my size," he said. He hated to remember that while Batman was fully grown, in his mid-30s, and the peak of his physical self, Jason was still just 16, a little scrawny despite his weight training, and maybe had some growing to do. "And I don't know why I hesitated, maybe it was seeing a kid my own age almost getting her head smashed in." He was watching the EMTs carting her to the ambulance. He felt the need to follow them, make sure she was safe. He wanted to find her tomorrow and talk to her, hear what she sounded like when she wasn't screaming. Batman watched Jason as he watched the girl they saved. Something was up, but he wasn't sure what. They weren't in an area of town that Jason had ever lived, nor did he go there when he wasn't Robin so he didn't know the girl. He would have to keep an eye on his sidekick. For now he just told him to go home. He would do one last sweep of the city and make sure the tainted cash was all collected and destroyed.

Jason should have gone back to the manor, but instead he followed the ambulance to Gotham General, perching on the roof. He watched them drive inside and wished he had a change of clothes, he could at least sneak in easier. He moved to the access stairs and headed down, keeping to the quieter hallways and stairwells until he was able to find her. She was still unconscious, though it looked medicinal now. He stared at her, memorizing her face, counting every freckle, watching her chest go up and down as she slept. He heard voices in the hallway and looked back at her for a moment, silently promising her that she would safe from now on, he would make sure of it. He disappeared into a vent, heading back outside and starting back towards the manor. After about three blocks he knew that Nightwing had found him, so he stopped, waiting for his big brother to catch up.

"Batman wanted me to keep track of you little bird," Nightwing said. Jason rolled his eyes at the name but didn't say anything. It secretly made him feel special, hearing his brother call him a nickname. "So who was the girl?" It figures he had seen him in the hospital room.

"We just saved her from some of Two-Faces bitches at Gotham North high school," he said. "The asshole threw her into a wall, I looked at her and her eyes, they're the most beautiful color I've ever seen." Nightwing's eyebrows got high enough that Jason saw them peeking out of his mask.

"Going to need those flashcards, did you tell Batman?" Nightwing asked. Jason shook his head. "I get it, but he should know..."

"No Dick," Jason said. He knew that Batman would have him running laps around the grounds until he collapsed if he heard Jason calling Dick by his mortal name, but right now he needed his brother to understand how serious he was. Jason didn't want Batman to know, didn't need Batman or Bruce Wayne worrying about him, about what finding his soulmate might do to him. He would be considered a liability, too young to handle the responsibility, balance the need to see her, to protect her, with the need to keep Gotham safe. Dick had already been Nightwing when Barbara had come along, Bruce had simply told him to not let the soulmate urges distract him, and that had been enough. Jason was younger, more reckless, more unpredictable and Bruce would be waiting for him to screw up, another thing to add to the list of things Jason didn't do as well as Dick with.

"He will figure it out," Dick said. Jason stood up and shook his head, grappling away, wanting to get back home and get a shower before patrol tonight. He needed to think.

You started learning the names of colors as soon as you got home. It was amazing, seeing everything the world had to offer, so much beauty and so bright. But nothing could drive the image of Robin's eyes out of your mind. You knew that he probably hadn't come back to see you again because he was Robin. No one knew who Batman, Robin, or Nightwing were and despite being soulmates its not like he knew you, knew he could trust you. So you went about your life, telling only your closest friends that you had a soulmate. They of course questioned you on who it was but you said that it was a quick glance, no names exchanged, no phone numbers, nothing, so you weren't sure how to find him. They had plenty of suggestions that you pretended to entertain but you knew it was useless, if Robin didn't want you to know him then you wouldn't. You would gaze at every boy with dark hair and brown eyes you came across, at school, at the arcade, the library, your job at Big Belly Burger, everywhere, just trying to find someone who's eyes matched his. You never found him. Then everything changed.

It was evening, you were sitting in your room, watching a movie, once again marveling about the colors in the mountains as the camera swept over the scenery. Your new foster parents didn't understand your fascination with nature documentaries but you didn't want to tell about Robin, they would be worried you were crazy and send you back to the group home and you didn't want to be there ever again. The documentary was just changing to the ocean, your favorite part, when suddenly the world went back to black and white. Your breath stopped, eyes getting wide. You blinked once, twice, three times, but it stayed black and white. You stood, wanting to run out the door, find Robin, but you couldn't, you had no idea where he might be. You knew what had happened, the world only went back to black and white when your soulmate died. You couldn't believe this. You'd never even heard his voice and now you never would. You collapsed on your floor, tears streaming down at the future you had been imagining, all of it crashing down around you. Your parents found you like this, inconsolable, and despite not wanting to go back to the group home that's where you were taken a few days later, the world still dull and gray.

You spent the next year in gray, unable to bring yourself back to the person you had been before. You bounced around homes, therapy seeming useless for you, new parents not sure how to draw you out of your depression. Your friends told you about support groups for people who lost their soulmates, people who could help you recover, but you didn't want to. You wanted to hear his voice, feels his hand, know what his name was. It wasn't fair, nothing in your life seemed fair. You went to bed every night with dried tears on your cheeks.

You did a lot of research in the seven years since the color had come back into your life. You ran away from the group home, figured out life by yourself, established yourself as a runner and a finder. You stayed away from the drugs and the alcohol that seemed to flood the streets of Gotham, did work for the cops, for the poor, for those looking for lost loved ones. You didn’t want anyone to get lost in the shuffle, you didn’t want anyone else’s world to go grey, and you really wanted to punch Batman in the face. That mystery, who was the masked vigilante?, was still on your list of cases to solve. Once you figured out who Batman was you were going to find him, tell him what an asshole he was for replacing Robin, and then punch him in the face. It was the least you could do for the Robin before this one, the one who mattered. And hopefully this last lead would put a name to the mask.

You put on the glasses you had stowed in your backpack, mussing up your wig to look like you had just come out of the bar nearby. You giggled, stumbling some into a man waiting by the curb. He steadied you, taking in your features as you pretended to be tipsy. He smirked and you knew you had him.

“I’m sorry,” you cooed, righting yourself before giggling again. The guy whispered something to you, and you just nodded. Asking you to his place before your name? Classy Andrew. You knew him but he didn’t know you. One of Penguin’s guys, another one like you, getting information, selling it off to the highest bidder. In Gotham information was sometimes worth more than cash so if you were able to get some knowledge someone else wanted you were supposed to always expect threats. This guy, well, he was either new or thought he was invincible with Penguin’s money lining his pockets. Idiot.

You could see why Andrew thought he was hot shit when you got back to his penthouse. Sparkly clean and furnished with all the latest and most expensive trends. You played with your purse pulling out a syringe you had hidden there, giggling again, looking for a way to get him close before he actually tried to do what he wanted with you. He looked at you as you bumped into a couch, pretending to almost fall. He caught you, and you struck, injecting the sedative into his neck. He stared at you for a moment before his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed on the floor. You stood up straight again, brushing the wrinkles from your dress, and got to work. He wouldn’t remember anything in the morning, so you put him in bed, stripping him down to his briefs, discarding your dress on the floor and finding some clothes from his closet to wear. You made sure he didn’t have trackers on his clothes before sliding them on, finding a duffle bag also.

Once you were sure that his things couldn’t be tracked you started poking around for his files. If he was missing some random valuables he would just assume you were a thief, but if he realized you took the information he had stored away in his safe and laptop he would realize you were a finder. You didn’t need another bounty on your head, you had to be smart. The safe was easy find and considering you had his body around you were able to use the bioscanner to open it with ease. Inside was a hard drive that you copied, followed by a burner phone that you checked the messages on. Well, the cops could use a lot of this, looks like this trip was going to get you a bonus. Still, wait you wanted wasn’t there. He still had paper filing cabinets in a panic room he thought was hidden behind a fake bookshelf so you helped yourself to those, using your own phone to scan the paperwork. Nothing still. Grunting in frustration you tore apart the kitchen and then the bathroom, finally striking gold in the air vent. A USB drive, taped to the top of the vent. This had to either be pictures taking part in an orgy or the name of the most infamous vigilante in Gotham. You took it, replacing it with a blank USB, before putting everything back in its place. You took a few trinkets that looked expensive, stuff you could pawn, and headed out. This had been a good night, a clean getaway. Or so you thought.

Jason had no idea who this woman was, but she knew what she was doing. He had been staking out Andrew Garish’s apartment, needing to know exactly how much information he had on Bruce and Batman. He hadn’t had time to grab the USB before Andrew brought back this random woman, so he had slipped out, heading to the roof across the street to wait until you were done. He hadn’t expected the flash of a syringe and Andrew collapsing. He was going to intervene, thinking the woman was just someone working for another criminal overlord, but then she had put Andrew to bed and started searching. Jason was curious and felt an itch, like he should know this woman. She was blond, had glasses, walked with a chip on her shoulder, but nothing was familiar about her, still he couldn’t bring himself to go in there after her. He watched her finish her search and head out, deciding to follow her. He needed that USB drive if anything, and finding out what this lady was up to was probably a good idea.

At some point she must have realized that Jason was following her because she stopped, ducked into a hotel lobby and headed straight for the computer in the business center. One of the employees walked over and she spoke to them quickly, them nodding the whole time. Whatever she said worked and soon she was inserting the USB drive and reading whatever was on it. Fuck. Jason had hoped to corner her before that happened. She read over the contents, pulled it out of the computer and headed out of the lobby again, turning down a side alley. Jason expected to have to chase her but when he landed in the alley, boots barely whispering on the pavement, she was gone, all that was left was the USB, smashed on the ground. Shit.

You weren’t sure who was following you, but you figured you’d better get your information and destroy it. Jessica, one of your old high school friends, worked at a downtown hotel and she let you use the computers if it wasn’t busy and well, 2AM on a weeknight they weren’t busy. You had read what you needed, a little surprised at the name of Batman’s supposed benefactor, mind reeling at how simple the mystery was to solve if literally anyone paid close enough attention. You weren’t surprised that no one, including yourself, hadn’t thought that Bruce Wayne was bankrolling Batman. Who else would honestly have that kind of cash? But in Gotham Bruce Wayne was one of two things, a legendary playboy or a legendary philanthropist, why would anyone suspect him of funneling money to vigilantes? Either way, you hadn’t thought of it, but someone had, and they had, at least for a brief time, advertised the idea online and Andrew had found the last part of the dark web where the theory hadn’t been scrubbed clean. It looks like it's time to visit Mr. Wayne and see what he has to say for himself.

Wayne Manor was an icon in the city. Bruce Wayne allowed tours during some parts of the weekday, his trusted butler Alfred making sure all was well. You signed up for a tour, paying out the ridiculous fee to see this rich guy’s shit, and arrived during the bright and relatively sunny day. You were glad the weather was working for you rather than against you today. If it were rainy and dark like usual, then spotting the cameras and other traps scattering the lawn and the driveway would have been difficult. As it was you counted a dozen cameras facing the front of the house, pressure sensors scattered in the perfectly manicured grass, and inferred detectors by the front gate. You pretended to be absorbed in the guide in a hallway, taking a left instead of a right and hearing an alarm buzz. The guide called out and you looked back, feigning confusion.

“We mustn’t stray into the family’s private quarters” the guide reminded you with a tight smile. You blushed, forcing embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry, the information on the architecture of the home is just fascinating,” you said, brushing the brunette hair you donned today behind your ear. You noticed an older gentleman walking down the hall you had tried to sneak down, watching you. You caught his eye and waved, apologetic, as you joined the tour again. The house would be too hard to navigate, probably better to get stay outside, get Bruce Wayne to come to you. The next thing you needed to figure out was how to get that to happen. You were finishing the tour of the kitchen when you noticed a receipt in a drawer, the corner just sticking out. The group was standing by the fine china, discussing the origin of the pottery display, so you took a moment and slid the paper out. It was for a car that was being delivered that evening, a brand-new McLaren 750S. You let out a low whistle, then froze, looking at the tour group. They were still wrapped up in the conversation, so you went back to the paper, noting the time of the delivery. Good, it was to be delivered to the servants’ entrance where Bruce and someone named Alfred would be signing off on delivery. You slid the paper back into the drawer and followed the group.

You dressed in all black and waited in the shadows of the servants’ gate for the car delivery truck. It arrived and once the gate began to open you hit the button on the jamming tech you had to scramble the camera footage, just for a few seconds, while you snuck in behind the slow-moving truck. It stopped near the backdoor and you slid behind a golf cart, staying low and listening as the delivery men discussed things with Bruce and Alfred. She assumed that the butler was the British one, speaking to the delivery drivers more than Bruce. He only said ‘thank you’ once the car was out of the truck. You kept listening as the truck started up and headed down the driveway again.

“You can come out now,” you heard a gruff voice say. Well, guess they noticed the camera malfunction. You regretted not wearing a disguise now, at least then when they tried to give the police a description it wouldn’t lead to you. You stood, brushing the gravel off your clothes, taking your time. You glanced at Bruce Wayne and noticed that he was unbothered by your delay, seemed his had all the time in the world. You walked around the golf cart, eyeing the black car that now sat in the driveway.

“Nice wheels,” you said. “How much tech is in that thing?” Neither of the men seemed amused by your antics.

“What do you want?” Bruce asked. Alfred moved past you, keys to the new car clinking as he put them in his pocket. You looked back at Bruce, hearing Alfred shuffling around the car, probably checking for any damage you might have done to it.

“How much money do you give the Batman every month?” you asked. That seemed to throw Bruce and Alfred off balance a little bit. It gave you a chance to look back at the butler as he passed you, your hand sliding cleanly into his pocket and removing the new keys.

“Excuse me?” Bruce said, a moment too long in his reply. You smirked.

“Do you ever think about the fact that Batman just replaced Robin like he was yesterday’s trash?” you asked. This question brought a flash of anger and guilt to the billionaire’s face. He masked it quickly and said nothing. “Now my last question, are you the Batman and are you the man who I should punch in the face?”

“I mean, if you think you could, go ahead,” he said. It appeared he had regained his wit and you considered actually trying to hit him but stopped yourself for now. “Now please, I’m going inside to call the police, I recommend you get off my property immediately. Good evening.” He turned with Alfred and headed inside. You turned and smirked, sliding the keys out of your pocket. You figured it probably had a tracker on it, but taking a McLaren for a spin wasn’t something you got to do every day, or you know, ever, so why not?

Jason had listened to the conversation the woman had with Bruce, not surprised at the information she had garnered from the USB. He was surprised when she asked about his replacing Robin. That still wasn’t the information he wanted. He wanted to know who this new Robin was, find him, and pummel him before leaving him on Bruce’s doorstep. Look who’s better now Batman. Instead, he just felt another compulsion the follow this woman around. He noticed her steal the keys from Alfred and figured Bruce had noticed also but chose not to say anything. Maybe he was amused with this woman, maybe she would be the next Robin whenever the newer model didn’t live up to the Dick standard that Bruce had. She waited for a few moments before getting into the new car and revving the engine, just to rub it in, and took off. The McLaren was fast, but Jason’s bike could keep up just fine.

She drove the car towards downtown, not stupid enough to take it to East End or the Bowery. She kept to the nicer areas, finally parking it in the most expensive garage she could find, leaving the ticket in the glove compartment. As she exited the garage and headed down an alley towards the Diamond District, playing on her phone, probably getting a ride to her actual home. Jason landed in front of her and this time she hadn’t expected it, bumping into him. She dropped her phone, letting out a curse as she picked it up.

Dick and Bruce strung the Professor Pyg knock off in a corner room off the garage on a chain, facing the wall so he couldn’t identify where he was at. They were going to take him to the GCPD but wanted to ask their own questions first, so they used the chain from the ceiling and secured his hands, searching him using a kind of x-ray gun based on Superman’s powers. He had a tracking device installed in his bicep, so Tim shorted it out using a less than kind electric shock. The man didn’t react. They tried to pull off the mask, but it didn’t move, it was sewn into his skin. Jason couldn’t lie, that was smart but gross. The bag Pyg had been carrying sat on a lab table near by being investigated by Dick and YN. The hearts of those at the bar were inside.

“Are you part of the group that has been committing the murders around the city aimed at Red Hood?” Batman asked. The man nodded. “Tell us everything you know, or this experience will be less pleasant than it already is.” There came a laugh from under the mask.

“I do not care about unpleasantness Bruce Wayne,” he said. The air seemed to go out of the room. Even though everyone was aware that this group knew who they were to hear one speak the name of Batman out loud was still a shock. It still made them freeze and look around, wondering who had let the secret out, whose fault it was that they were now targets, not their alter egos. “You may all remove your masks; we know all of you.”

“And who is we?” Batman asked, keeping his cowl in place. Pyg let out another laugh. This whole situation was apparently hilarious to the creature. Batman balled his fist and threw it, hitting him in the face. The mask sustained more damage, a tear showing just a hint of pallid skin beneath it. Other that a sharp exhale at the impact of the punch there was no other indication something happened. No grunt of pain, no increase of heartrate on Tim’s monitors, nothing. It was like he didn’t feel it.

“We are those who want to see how far we can push the Hood, we knew he was from the Wayne family, but we were very surprised to see that he was the long thought dead Jason Todd. What kind of man comes back from the dead? What does that do to the mind? The Doctor is very interested in what will make him break, especially now that his quest for the blood of his killer is complete. What else matters now? The children he wants to spare? The old friends he used to have before death? The new brother from after his return? Perhaps his new fiancé? Will see be the final piece to destroy him? The doctor is not so sure. He wants to talk to the Red Hood, really understand how he ticks,” the voice behind the mask said. Batman frowned.

“Where is this doctor? I’ll pay him a visit,” Jason said, getting tired of this guy’s attitude. He hated this dramatic monologue bullshit. The Pyg looked at him. “He wants to chat tell me where he is.”

“O you will not find him, he will find you when he wants. You cannot even enter his office only we few have the privilege. And he is always watching,” he said. Jason nodded and aimed a gun at the Pyg’s head.

“Always watching? Think whatever camera he’s watching from will work with a bullet in there?” he asked, snarling. Batman shot him a look.

“Red Hood, we’re not done with him,” he said. Jason snarled but put the gun away, turning to pace. He was starting to feel caged, the pit rage burning through his veins, dying to be released. He could feel himself starting to lose control. His eyes found YN like they always did in these situations, and she looked back at him. He watched her, seeing her slow her breathing, his matching it. He was burning still but it had dulled just a little at the sight of her face. It was enough for him to keep control of himself for now.

“He does have a transmitter in the mask, but if I short it out the shock will kill him,” Tim said, still looking at his tablet. Jason shrugged.

“Seems like a win-win to me,” he grumbled. Batman once again gave him a disapproving look, but Jason didn’t care. He was too angry to worry about Bruce’s moral code at the moment. When he got his hands on these guys they were dead, all of them.

“All this time this is taking, such a waste,” Pyg said. “I already decided to dieeeeeee,” he sang out, now swinging on the chain that held him up. “It’s slow and it’s burning me from the inside out, but it’s giving us time.”

“Time for what?” Dick asked, looking up from cataloging the heart evidence.

“The Wayne family isn’t the only family involved. There is also YN and her little family, the one she left alone and so very vulnerable. Do you think they need you now? Those you called your sisters?” Pyg asked. YN’s face paled. There was a laugh from behind the mask that started to sound like gurgling, then the Pyg fell silent.

“He’s dead,” Tim said. He started trying to track a feed location from the camera and dug the tracker out his bicep. “I’m going to fix this, see if I can get the last location from this too.”

“I need to go see if Jocelyn and Aura are alright,” YN said, face pale. She ran out of the room, getting into the McLaren and leaving before even Jason could catch up. He hopped on his bike and followed.

You ran up the stairs, the elevator seeming too slow. You approached the door and your breath hitched, seeing the door cracked just a little. It opened to a horror scene and everything in your world seemed to stop. There was a buzzing in your ear, your eyes couldn’t focus. Blood was everywhere. Jocelyn lay on the couch, reclined like she was watching TV, hand even holding the remote. Only the skin of her face was missing, her chest ripped open, a gaping hole where her heart should have been. Aura was at the table, bowl in front of her, both hearts in it. Her face was also missing. You smelled something burning but couldn’t get your mind to think process anything beyond the sight of your best friends, dead and posed like dolls in some sick playhouse. You weren’t sure when you fell to your knees, you didn’t feel the pain of them hitting linoleum. You didn’t even know when Jason got there, his arms suddenly around you as he tried to pull you back out the door. You let out a cry as he yanked you out, gripping you close as everything finally slammed into you. The buzzing had been the beeping of the smoke alarm from the burning faces on the stove. The smell the melting flesh of your friends’ identities stolen from them. The floor had a message in their blood.

We will take everything from you Red Hood

You looked at yourself, seeing blood on your clothes from you kneeling in it. You let out a cry of horror. You didn’t care when the blood on you was from yourself, but this was your best friends, your sisters. Jason hugged you again, whispering anything in your ear to try and calm you. After several minutes you finally were able to gain some control of yourself, just in time for the GCPD to arrive.

“YN,” Jim said softly, looking at you as his investigators entered the apartment. You stared at him, still not sure if everything that was happening was real or not. “YN, let’s go downstairs.” You nodded slowly and followed him, your brain moving quickly as you started to think of a plan that Jason would hate but considering they wanted to break him it might be the only way to find these monsters.

Jason had been quiet driving you back to the cave. He had said he would get his bike later, now he just wanted you safe. You stared straight ahead, mind empty of everything but the sight of Jocelyn and Aura, mutilated and humiliated in their deaths in a way that would never leave you. You could never imagine closing your eyes again without seeing that destruction. You wondered when you would stop smelling their blood mixed with the burning flesh on the stove. You needed a shower, but there would be time for that later. You needed to end this.

Dick was there to help you out of the car when you were back in the garage. You heard Jason get out and he took of his helmet. You rounded on him, fury in your eyes.

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” you screamed, eyes blazing. Jason stood, shocked, staring at you, first confused, then hurt. “They were innocent, and you let them…they tortured them Jason all because you had to go after Joker!” You walked over, fist balling, until you were close enough to throw it at his face. He reeled from the unexpected impact.

“YN…I didn’t mean for this to happen…” he said, trying to scramble, think of anything to make you stop. You knew this would kill him, but you needed to do this.

You noticed Jason starting to change as summer turned into fall. He wasn’t distant with you, but with the others he pulled away. He would mostly hide away in his room or in the tech lab in the cave, but only when Tim wasn’t in there. Or he would make excuses to be out, taking you on dates, going on extra patrols, doing rounds in North Gotham. Bruce kept asking you what was going on but, in all honesty, you weren’t entirely sure what was going on in Jason’s mind. As much as you tried to get him to open up fully, he still kept his cards close to his chest. You were trying to give him space, but you were getting to the end of your rope at this point. You needed him to open up just a little to stop you from worrying so much about him.

“Jason please, where are you going tonight?” you asked as you followed him around the cave as he suited up. He shrugged and you glared. “Are you going to tell the others?”

“Nope,” he said, emphasizing the p. You took a breath and he looked at you, then down again as he made sure his guns were loaded.

“I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to but just tell me, please, I’m so worried when you go out like this,” you said.

“Like what?” he asked, trying to sound casual. He had dark circles under his eyes and was gripping the table in front of him enough to whiten his knuckles.

“Like you’re about to explode,” you said, going over and setting a hand on his arm. You were gentle, wanting him to know that you were there for him. It was a bit of a cycle with him, doubt, insecurity first, then he would have days where he knew his worth, that you were there and he could confide in you, but then something in his mind darkened and he would go back to the doubts and insecurity again for weeks. Dr. Thompkins told you to be patient, he was getting better at opening up, and you knew that, but it was still frustrating sometimes.

“Maybe I will and then you can be rid of my annoying ass,” he said. You grabbed his arm tighter then, pushing his face to look at you.

“Don’t say that, ever,” you said. He looked at you and you saw the guilt flash across his face. “Please, you don’t have to tell me details just, generally, what are you up to tonight?” He looked at you for a minute before, turning and leaning against the table. He put his hands to your hips, pulling you close to him, leaning his forehead to yours. You smiled like you always did when he was affectionate with you.

“I’m sorry, I’m heading out to Amusement Mile,” he said. You looked at him, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth. He leaned in and kissed you, taking your lip and licking it gently.

“Don’t worry, I have a lead on Joker and well, I know Bruce won’t do it but I’m going to kill him. May not make everything in brain work the right way but I think it’ll make it easier to forget,” he said. Ever since Joker had escaped Arkham again Jason had been having worse nightmares. You were moved into his room with him by now and every night he would wake you, sometimes wailing in his sleep, sometimes when he had already woken up and just needed to feel your touch. You never denied him, holding him close until he fell asleep again.

“Ok, be careful, I love you,” you said softly. He smiled at you. It was weak, but it was there, and you felt some comfort from it. “I won’t tell the others, but keep your tracking beacon on just in case? I’m monitoring tonight so Alfred can have a break.”

“I promise, I won’t disappear on you,” he said. He kissed you again, holding it for longer this time. “Love you sweetness.” He grabbed his guns and headed out.

Jason prowled the old amusement park, hoping his contact had been right about Joker holing up there trying to gather followers from the houseless population that was squatting on the land. He perched himself at the top of the roller coaster, looking over the rest of the rides surrounding him. He couldn’t tell if the fact that Joker would hide out in the funhouse of the theme park was too on the nose or exactly what he would do. Then he saw a group coming out of the funhouse dressed like clowns, running from a small mob carrying various weapons. Joker walked out casually, following the chase at a slower pace.

“Get them! Have some fun!” he yelled after them, laughing. Jason’s entire body spasmed and he almost fell from the coaster. That laugh, that face, it was in every nightmare he had, it was the soundtrack to every horrible thought he’d ever had. He needed to end this. He desperately wanted to just sniper Joker right now, one through the head from a distance, but he needed to watch him die, make sure he was completely gone.

He snuck down the coaster, following Joker as he followed the hunting party. It was obvious that Joker knew he was there at some point. He stopped, turned and Jason came face to face with him. Joker cocked his head to side before smiling wide.

“What a look! O I love the nostalgia!” he said, almost giddy. “My look was more magician, but I love how you modernized it, just wonderful. Want my autograph?” Jason leveled his gun to him.

“Nah, just your blood,” he said. Joker’s eyes widened in glee, and he giggled again. He held up his hands, mocking Jason clearly but surprisingly Jason wasn’t fazed. Things were falling into place.

“OOO blood lust? My favorite kind!” he said. “Where do you want me? Right here is a little exposed, maybe we go back to my place?”

Jason walked over slowly, expecting it when Joker pulled the blade and slashed at him. He dodged, turning and hitting Joker in the face with his gun. The madman stumbled but recovered, slashing again at Jason, almost catching his chest. Jason hit him again, this time in the shoulder, dislocating it. Joker looked at his arm and switched his blade to the other hand. Jason sighed, just tired of this guy jumping around, messing with his mind, he shot him in the knee. Joker let out a pained scream and Jason couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. Good, let this fucker feel all the pain he could take. The blade fell from Joker’s hand as he clutched his leg. Jason walked over, slamming the butt of his gun into Joker’s head, knocking him out. He grabbed him, starting to drag him to where he had something set up, some fun of his own to have with this monster.

Bruce was back from patrol, seeing you still sitting at the Batcomputer, watching the screen. Jason had been at the amusement park for hours and you hoped it wasn’t because he was hurt. He hadn’t hit the panic button, you still could see the dot, red against the multi-colored satellite view of the city. He waited for you to notice him, but you were too focused.

“Is that Jason?” he asked finally. You jumped, turning to look at him. “What is he doing in…” He froze.

“Let him be Bruce, he needs to finish this,” you said. Bruce put the cowl back on, turning to go back to the Batmobile. You jumped up, running and grabbing his arm. “Stop!”

“I can’t let him do this, fall deeper into this empty well of death he seems so desperate to drown in,” Bruce said. You still pulled despite him just dragging you with him. “I’m going, you can get in if you want but I’m going, the least I can do is make sure he is safe.” You knew he wasn’t going to relent so you climbed in the car with him.

“This will be the end of the killing you know,” you said softly. Bruce glanced at you as he drove.

“You don’t know that,” he said. You sighed. “Once you start…”

“He’s already killed Bruce, you know that, but has he ever killed someone who didn’t deserve it? Drug dealers trying to get kids hooked on crack? Dead, no great loss, he made the rules, they could sell but not to kids, seems fine to me. Poison Ivy had literally killed almost forty people in the Iceberg Lounge, once again, she shouldn’t get away with that. Joker has graveyards dedicated to just his victims, I’m pretty sure the world can turn better without him in it,” you ranted. “Just because you are one death away from becoming a heartless serial killer doesn’t mean he is.”

Bruce stopped the car in front of the amusement park and turned to you. You saw something in his face you hadn’t seen before, shame. Guilt, failure, remorse, not open shame.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe the problem has always been me,” he said. You rolled your eyes, plenty over this sad guy routine that Bruce and Jason seemed to trade off with each other. They could be the same person if not for their taste in costumes.

“Let’s just go find him, and yes you were a problem, but you’re getting better so stop being so mopey,” you said, getting out of the car. Bruce followed you, turning back into his Batman persona. You grabbed your own gun that Jason insisted you carry everywhere, and you walked into the park. You had never thought you would be walking into the lair of the Joker with Batman by your side, what in the hell had become of your life?

“He was in the tunnel of love right?” Bruce asked. You nodded, wondering once again if Jason and Batman were the same with their flare for dramatics. You both entered and looked around for awhile before turning a corner on the dry track and finding Jason sitting on the edge of the track, legs dangling over the side. He was covered in blood just staring.

“Red Hood?” you asked softly as Bruce jumped out of the track and onto the landing. You didn’t care what was up there, you just wanted to make sure Jason was alright. He looked at you. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” he said. He sat quiet again as Bruce came back down into the track.

“Joker is dead,” he said. You could tell that you were right not to go up and see, Bruce looked a bit green. “You should go, I’ll call Gordon and make sure no one takes the…body.” You reached up and took Jason’s hand, gently pulling him with you. He walked out easy, seeming to be in a daze.

“Are you alright?” you asked as you got to his bike with him. He gave you the extra helmet he always had for you, and you put it on, climbing behind him. He turned back to look at you.

“Its quiet, my mind is quiet,” he said before taking off back to the manor.

Jason heard nothing. The silence was bliss. He knew that Bruce would never look at him the same after seeing how he had dismantled Joker, but he didn’t care. He could live with it, as long as he had this silence. He never needed to hear that laugh ever again, that monster couldn’t hurt him ever again. He had thought he would feel more remorse, maybe feel a twinge of guilt like he did whenever he had taken anyone else’s life, but no, this one just felt good. Felt right. He stood under the hot water of his shower, getting all the sweat and blood that had seeped through his uniform off his skin, wash away that maniac forever. He felt free. He climbed out of the shower, threw on some sleep shorts and headed into the bedroom. YN was sitting on the bed in her pajamas, and he stared at her, hoping he didn’t see fear in her eyes like he saw in Bruce’s.

**********

“Feel better?” she asked, meeting his eyes. She looked at him like he was the most gorgeous person to ever exist. He let out a relieved breath, she still loved him. He nodded and she stood, walking over to him and hugging him tight. He held her close, burying his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. He didn’t lose her; she was still here. His lips kissed at her neck, hands gripping her hips tight. He was overcome with need to feel her close, know that she still trusted him completely. She made a soft noise as she turned her head to catch his lips, kissing him deeply, fingers tugging at his hair a little. He moved her back to the bed, unsure why he hadn’t thought to take this step with YN before. She fell to sit back and looked up at him, those eyes making him weak in the knees. He leaned in, kissing her again as he pulled her shirt over her head, kissing down her neck as he moved to his knees. He spent time kissing over her breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth, rolling and gently biting it to drawn out a sinful moan from her mouth before moving to do the same to the other before sliding to kiss further down, pulling her shorts and underwear off as he went. He felt her fingers tangle into his hair as he kissed her thighs. She tugged his hair and he groaned, kissing closer to her core. When he first licked his tongue over her center, he heard her make the most amazing noise ever and he dove in, making sure she kept moaning and whispering his name like she was having trouble breathing. He looked up at her and saw her watching him, mouth hanging open a little, eyes glazed in pleasure, and he was finally rewarded when her head fell back and she cried out, him tasting her completely as she reached her peak. She panted as she came down from her high, sitting up to stare at him.

“You look so good,” he whispered standing again. She moved forward pulling off his own shorts and slid her mouth over his stiff member, tongue sliding up the underside as she bobbed her head. Jason stared down at her, mesmerized by the way she was moving, her eyes looking up at him. They looked so innocent and he nearly lost in at the sight. A noise tore from his throat, a groan he didn’t know if he’d ever made before and she pulled off him, pushing herself back on the bed.

“Come here Jason,” she said, reaching for him. He crawled over, settling over her, feeling her legs open for him as he himself gently against her core. She moaned softly as he entered her, staying still for a moment, relishing in how she felt around him, how her arms gripped his back, nails digging into the skin in a way that felt amazing. He kissed her again, but this kiss wasn’t so needy, this was love, this was a feeling he didn’t think existed, the feeling of pure happiness that he had never felt before.

“You’re perfect for me,” he said softly. YN smiled up at him and pulled him to kiss her again. “I love you.” Another kiss. Finally he moved, pulling almost all the way before pushing back in. He didn’t move fast, setting a pace where he buried himself deep inside her and she squirmed a little, helping him find exactly where she wanted him to strike. The pace quickened as they both started to chase their high. She was already so sensitive from his earlier ministrations that he could see her getting closer much faster than him. He smiled, loving that he made her feel this good, loving that the only word she seemed to know as his hips pushed to meet hers, was his name. She arched to him, nails scratching down his back as she cried out her climax. It was enough to quicken his, a few more thrusts and he reached his own peak, saying her name as he held himself inside her for a few moments. She hugged him close and kissed him again.

After returning to Gotham six months ago Jason started to relearn the ebbs and flows of the city right away, like he hadn’t been gone for almost seven years. He started by patrolling the same routes he and Batman once had, seeing what Batman and his replacement were up to. He followed their path, seeing how it changed or stayed the same. He was trying to assess their patterns and maybe get an inkling to what happened when he died. He could remember a decent amount about his past, prior to the pit and the league. Five years of spending nights trying to stay awake, avoiding nightmares of cold steel and screeching, gave a person a lot of time thinking and thinking led to remembering. The only thing he couldn’t fully put together in his mind was how he had actually died. He figured it had something to do with Batman, why else would he dream about a bat attacking him so much? He wasn’t a psychiatrist, but he figured it wasn’t that hard to put those pieces together. However, after following the Batman and his new protégé for a few weeks nothing sparked except more memories of patrols just like they were doing. Taking out bad guys, helping innocents, the usual good vigilante stuff. He noticed Batman still didn’t kill and it sickened him. He had studied more than his fair share of villains in his time with the league and if any of those ‘people’ deserved to die it was the ones living in Gotham. After he had learned all that he could he had turned to part two of his return scheme. Money, territory, power.

While following Batman and new Robin he had noticed that they didn’t pay too much attention to the lower-level criminals like drug dealers. Honestly, between Penguin, Mr. Fries, Two-Face and the rest when would they have time? So he had gotten to work. A couple hours of beheading lieutenants and meeting with the bosses he had a whole little crew of dealers, 40 percent of their sales, and no one dealing to kids anymore. If they did it was a bullet between the eyes, no questions asked. A few challenged him, not paying up or still dealing around the schools. They were soon found by GCPD, a bullet in the brain and maybe some extra cuts and bruises for when Jason felt extra annoyed. The cash the dealers gave him supplied him well enough to establish some safehouses, get extra gear, and make sure that enough cops were paid to stay away from him business.

Once this was finished Jason decided to check out Arkham, see who was actually locked up and who was just rumored to be in the asylum. He stalked the halls, quiet like Batman taught him to be, using shadows and the old architecture to his advantage. He found Two-Face, Calendar Man, Clayface, Hush, all locked up. He was heading down a part of the old wing when he first heard the laugh, or was it sobbing, or maybe screaming? It sounded like a horrible medley of all three. As soon as it hit his ears he froze, encased in shadow and in the past. That laugh, a crowbar, a bomb. The Joker. Jason’s heart raced, the read out on his helmet said that it was getting too high, he needed to calm down or risk a panic attack, a heart attack, death by laughter. He started breathing too fast through his nose, hyperventilating. His eyes flashed around, frantic. He needed to leave, get out of this place as fast as he could.

He wasn’t 100 percent sure how he had escaped unseen but he didn’t stop running until he was knee deep in the river, the realization that his pants were wet making him snap out of his trance. Joker had killed him. Hours of torture, bones broken, scars that the pit psychically healed but would never heal in his soul, then a bomb, the fire and the light to end everything. Why was it that Jason had died but that motherfucker was still alive? Batman had to have known who had killed him. Who had taken him from this earth and put him inside of it. Why hadn’t he killed him? Did Jason really matter so little that Batman had just wandered off, letting Joker keep his breath and just replacing him with a newer model Robin? Jason saw green, snarling like an animal. He stomped back to where he had left his bike and headed into East End. If there was anyone who deserved a few bullets, maybe some broken skulls, they would be there. Jason needed to kill and to think. Now, months later and still no where less pissed off about Batman’s ridiculous no kill rule Jason watched his former mentor stalking the city, looking for something. Probably that woman who had showed up at his house and stolen his car. His soulmate. Jason still couldn’t believe that he had a soulmate, and she still must be his since his world was still colorful. He could see the bright neon signs, all pinks and oranges and greens, see the attempts the city made of parks and flowers and landscaping in lush yellows and blues. And he saw how the red of his helmet gleaned when he walked by a window, too bad not everyone got to see these things. He couldn’t remember the world in black and white and gray, that seemed like a lifetime ago. He supposed it was. Jason still had his mission on his mind, taking down the Batman, killing Joker, all of that, but her eyes had distracted him momentarily. He wanted to know what Batman was going to do to her, wanted to make sure she was safe from the lies that Bruce Wayne tells those he thinks he can manipulate and use. She wasn’t going to be a pawn for his bullshit.

Jason perched on a fire escape overlooking a back alley. He could see her window across the street, she was in the apartment, probably her bedroom, at a desk typing. The rain was blurring her face a little, but he could still see that she was focused, and he wished he knew on what. He wished he knew her thoughts, her likes, dislikes, he wanted to know her favorite color now that she could see them. And he wanted to know her name above everything else. He knew he could go figure it out, use the records database and find her name based on her address, but he wanted to hear her tell him it, hear her voice say her name, say his name. He could see why Batman had thought he had been too young for a soulmate. This drive to be around her was becoming all consuming and Jason couldn’t tell if it was because she was just his soulmate or if it was because a soulmate meant that he still had a soul, something in him might still be worth saving to someone. If she had known him, would she have killed Joker? Did she mourn him when her world had gone back to black and white? Had she been confused to see the color return? So many questions and he was too scared to get his answers. He heard the familiar sound of quiet settle around him, Batman was lurking. He looked around, keeping himself silent as he used his helmets readout to track the vigilante on the roof of her building. He scaled down the side of it, effortlessly opening the window to what was probably the living room, disengaging the alarm that was there. He knocked on her bedroom door, making her get up and answer, clearly confused and worried, she pulled out a switchblade from her pocket before opening the bedroom door. Jason turned on his enhanced hearing device to listen into the conversation.

“What the fuck?” you said, hearing someone knock at your bedroom door. You had roommates but they were out of Gotham for the weekend, escaping the dreary city in search of sunshine that lasted more than five minutes a day. No one should be in your apartment, let alone knocking at your bedroom door. You took out the blade you carried, flipping it open, ready to start stabbing, opening the door quickly, throwing your weight against the intruder, knife pressing and…breaking. You frowned, feeling the stone muscle of armor, shoving uselessly against it. The blade of your knife had broken and gone flying off onto your bed. You looked up and swallowed. Batman, well fuck, he must be mad you stole his car.

“YN YLN?” Batman said, voice graveled, but you could hear the lilt of Bruce Wayne’s fancy rich tone underneath. You stepped back, breathing deep as you calmed down. He probably wouldn’t kill you, wasn’t that his rule?

“Bruce Waynes?” you mocked back, mimicking his deep bass. You thought you saw the uptick of his lips into a smirk, but it was gone fast enough that you could have imagined it. “I left your car in a nice part of town, I’m sure it's already back in your garage.”

“I’m not here about a car,” he said. You weren’t entirely surprised. “Can we talk for a minute?” At least he was polite after the breaking and entering. You motioned to the living room, wanting to get his hulking mass out of your safe space. He went back to the living room, standing in the middle. It wasn’t a big room either, but it was enough for you and your two friends. You felt strange sitting down as he stood so you got up again, busying yourself by tidying up. It didn’t need a lot of picking up, you were clean by nature, keeping mostly everything in place, but you needed to do something with your hands.

“So what do you want?” you asked, putting away a book before going to the small kitchen area to do the few dishes in the sink.

“Why did you ask about Robin?” he asked. You looked at him. “Who are you?”

“You replaced him, you replaced my soulmate,” you said. You knew he had fancy gadgets to see if people were lying so you figured why bother? Not like him knowing this truth would matter. Robin may have been alive out there but despite your best efforts you hadn’t been able to find anything about him, just that Joker had killed him in some other country almost seven years ago. You were able to see a subtle sign of surprise on Batman’s face, his lips thinning out at the revelation.

“I didn’t replace him,” he said, but it sounded lame, an excuse. “There were others who needed my help and I need help for them.” You felt white hot anger course through you.

“You replaced him because you were too weak to save him! You couldn’t even kill his murderer, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why isn’t Joker cut up into pieces and decaying at the bottom of some endless pit somewhere?” you demanded, throwing a glass at him. He deflected it and it shattered into pieces. “Where is that Robin now?” You assumed Batman must know about the return of his former partner. The silence stretched out.

“J-…”

“Don’t say his name, I don’t want to hear his name from anyone but him,” you said, holding up a hand. The silence went on again.

“That Robin is dead, you said it yourself,” Batman replied, clearly confused. You froze.

Gotham was quiet right now. Since first two murders it seemed as if the city were holding its breath. Crime was low, which let patrols be more dedicated to finding the killers than stopping criminals. In a way it was good, but it also haunted Jason. He kept seeing those kids, faces cut off, the closed casket funeral that Bruce had generously paid for, for all the victims that night. Jason was hanging on by a thread and that was only because YN was there, waiting for him to come back, and at the moment she was the only reason he wasn’t throwing himself off the top of the Wayne building.

Christmas was somber, and New Year’s passed with Jason sleeping at one of his safehouses, wanting to be in the thick of the city in case another murder was found. It was almost February now and he wasn’t sure how anyone was putting up with him. The nightmares were back, only now it was his dead friend and children telling him he couldn’t save them that haunted his nights. He was irritable, solemn, uninterested in anything but finding the killers. Bruce had told the media that Jason was struggling to reacclimate, which helped him avoid scrutiny when he had to go out into public, but it didn’t stop him from stomping a paparazzi’s camera and shoving him to the ground. He spent the night in jail before Bruce bailed him out, putting him on house arrest now. Why not? Jason himself had confined YN to the manor like a prisoner, why shouldn’t he join her?

Finally, just before Groundhog’s Day another murder happened. A senior center, the patients all in the community room, sitting and playing board games. All stabbed multiple times. 22 in all. All four of the Bats went to this one, but Tim stayed outside. This was a home he volunteered at for his senior work at school. These people were his friends, some of them like pseudo grandparents. He tried to enter but couldn’t when he saw the message on the wall, one of the older women posed to point at it, the woman who always was Tim’s dance partner when the senior center had Friday dances. None of your friends are safe Red Hood

Jason once again felt himself become sick, Batman having Gordon clear the room again so he could take off his helmet in a secluded corner and breathe. He looked over at the others and saw Tim’s face in the doorway, staring at him. Glaring. He blamed him. He should, this was all Jason’s fault. But right now, blaming himself would get them nowhere. He pulled himself together, put the helmet back on and got to work.

They searched the carnage, Batman examining the message, again in different handwriting, suggesting a third criminal. Jason took one side of the room and Dick the other. Tim stood back, scanning with his devices to see if there was anything in the walls.

“I found something,” Tim said. He walked over to the wall that had a group picture of the nursing staff and took the frame down. Behind it the wall was hollowed out and inside was a small suitcase. He took it out and checked it for explosives before opening it slowly. He jumped back, dropping it on the floor. Batman rushed over, kneeling by the case. They all stared. Inside was four clear plastic bags, one each for the faces of the first family murdered.

“This is fucked up,” Dick said, closing the case again. Tim walked over, scanning it more. He found a fingerprint and made a copy, planning on running it through the Batcomputer. He wouldn’t even look at Jason right now. “Why don’t you two head back, we have it here. Sun’s about to come up anyway, Tim, I’m sure you can take the day off school and Jason, just go home.” Jason opened his mouth, but Dick turned his back to him, and he knew dismissal when he saw it. He looked at Bruce who just nodded to him to leave.

At the cave Tim whirled on him the moment they were changed back into their regular clothes, punching Jason in the jaw. Alfred and YN stood, shocked. YN ran over to stop the fight, but Jason held a hand for her to stop.

“Go ahead Tim,” Jason said. Tim snarled at him and hit him again in the face, and again in the chest, wailing on him. Jason took it, feeling the hits getting weaker as Tim wore his anger out.

“Its your fault, all your fault,” he said, the boy looking very much like the child he still was he clung to Jason. Jason hugged him tight.

“I know its my fault,” he whispered. “I’m not going to stop until we find out who’s doing this.” Tim shoved him back, eyes red and hot with tears still.

“Don’t say that, you’re a murderer, even this is all on you. All of those bodies are on your hands! Why did you have to come back? Why couldn’t you stay dead?” Tim yelled, storming off to the tech lab. Jason stood there, head hanging. YN walked over, taking his hand but he pulled it away.

“You should go, run as far away from this city…from me as you can,” he said.

“I’m not going to leave you. Tim’s isn’t thinking straight…” she started.

“DON’T FUCKING LIE TO ME!” Jason screamed, making her recoil, fear flashing in her eyes. He shook his head. “Go YN, get away from me.”

“Master Jason…” Alfred cut in. Jason turned on him.

“All of you just leave me alone! I am nothing. I should have stayed dead,” he said, eyes flickering to green. He put the helmet back on and jumped back on his bike and disappeared out of the cave.

You sat on Jason’s bed in the day, holding onto one of his favorite leather jackets, trying to figure out where he would go. You didn’t know all his safe houses and he wasn’t at any of the ones the rest knew. You wished he didn’t run, but you understood. Everything was going so well until the rug was pulled out from under him again. He couldn’t catch a break it seemed. You sighed and looked down at the black jacket, wrapping it around you and zipping it up. You put your hands in the pockets and froze, feeling something. You pulled out a small envelope. It wasn’t sealed and curiosity got the best of you, and you looked inside. There was a ruby ring and a note.

Will you be mine forever?

Want to be my Red Lady?

I love you, marry me?

You started crying all over again as you gripped the ring and the note. You got up, going to his desk, grabbing a pen and writing YES, setting everything on the desk in case he came back. You looked up when the door opened, hoping, but it was Tim. You wanted so much to be angry at him, to tell him that he shouldn’t have said that to Jason, that he hurt him again. But you didn’t. Tim was hurting just as much, and he was still so young. Fucking Bruce Wayne and his obsession with making children into soldiers.

“O, sorry, I saw the light and thought he came back,” Tim said softly. You offered him a weak smile. “I…I didn’t mean it.”

“I know Tim, you were upset, it’s a horrible situation all around,” you said. Tim laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “You know that its not your fault either right?” He looked at you and you could see the thoughts turning.

“If I didn’t volunteer…” he started, and you shook your head.

“What these monsters do isn’t on you,” you said. “Or me or Jason or Bruce or any of us. They are looking for things to hurt, innocence to destroy, what better way to do that then by taking away hope? And love? And friendship? They want to destroy Jason, and you, and Dick, and Bruce. We can’t let them.”

“I think I may know where Jason is,” Tim said. You perked up. “I’m going to find him.”

“Don’t go alone, please? Just in case?” you asked. “I’ll go with you.”

“No way, Jason will shoot me if I put you in danger like that,” he said. You chuckled and nodded, he probably would. “I’ll find Dick, he’ll go.”

Jason paced the one safe house he thought he had. It was rather macabre, making a safe house out of where you killed your greatest enemy, but he figured no one would come looking here for him. Imagine his surprise when his brothers jumped out of the track for the tunnel of love and came over, hugging him. What a sight, Nightwing and Robin hugging Red Hood.

“How did you find me?” he asked. Tim held up a tracking device. “I took that off…”

“There’s one on the bike too. And I also can route into your helmet whenever I need to,” Tim said. He was looking guilty. “Jason, listen…”

“You don’t have to apologize, you’re right,” Jason said. Dick shook his head, putting his hand over Jason’s mouth, despite it being under the helmet.

“No no, he talks, you listen,” his older brother said.

“I was wrong Jason. And you are too. We aren’t at fault for this, we do our best to give people hope and these guys they want to destroy that, to take all the good out of people’s lives. And I am devastated that all of those great people are gone but I know for a fact, because all of them told at one point or another, that the living shouldn’t become the dead just because their loved ones have passed. We should live and remember them so that they live through us. And we shouldn’t push away our loved ones, like you know, soulmates, in times of grief,” he said. Jason stared at him. “You’re my big brother Jason, I love you, and I want you to be there for me right now, not hiding in your Joker dismemberment room.”

The GCPD didn’t trust Red Hood, so Batman was the only one allowed at the crime scene. Jason waited across the street, not sure what to do honestly. Who killed a family like this? What kind of absolute monster? It made him sick. He paced, watching the cops, who were watching him back. He saw a mix pride and anger depending on the face. He figured they either loved that he had taken out Joker, saving them some work later, or hated him, wanting to get the big score themselves. He wanted to walk over, get as close a look at the scene as possible, but he didn’t want someone to get trigger happy and try shooting him. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Batman walked over to him.

“Gordon is willing to let you walk the scene with me,” he said. Jason nodded and followed him, the cops parting enough so they could get through.

“Since when is Batman friendly with murderers?” “Who does this idiot think he is? A Nightwing ripoff?” “He killed Joker, we should be groveling at his feet right now.” He wanted to scream at them, tell them what had happened, why he had become this person. He shook himself, they wouldn’t understand, ever, and he had made his bed, now he had to lie in it. He followed Batman into the dining room and stared. The family was seated for dinner, the food still on their plates. The parents were eating meatloaf, looks like the kids were having chicken nuggets. Their throats had been slit, which was the only decent thing this monster did. The rest of the scene was haunting.

“Emily Dervish, Dexter Dervish, their children, 7-year-old Amelia, and 4-year-old Tyson,” Gordon explained, voice coming out staggered at the sight. “We will have to wait for the coroner to be sure.”

“Sure of what?” Jason asked, unable to take his eyes off the children.

“To be sure if they were alive or dead when the killer cut off their faces.”

After another hour scouring for evidence and finding nothing Jason and Batman were about to head back to the cave, see if they could find anything there, when another officer came over to Gordon, whispering to him. They watched his face grow ashen and he nodded solemnly.

“There’s been another murder…not completely the same, but they left a note,” he said. “You two better come with me.”

Across town at the McCreary’s Pub there were cops keeping curious onlookers away. Despite it being early morning at this point people were still curious when they saw police tape and a medical examiner’s van. They brought out phones and started taking pictures when Batman and Red Hood arrived. Jason was really glad he hadn’t done the whole social media thing now, he couldn’t imagine what Twitter looked like, him and Batman working together. All those concerns left his mind when he entered the bar. There were at least a dozen bodies, all seated like they had been enjoying a night out, lifeless eyes staring up the ceiling, posed as if gazing towards Heaven.

“What the fuck,” Jason muttered. Batman wandered the room slowly, looking at different angles. Jason started, but then his eyes were drawn to the mirror behind the bar. Once again, a message in blood, the shaping of the letters completely different from the last crime scene.

DID YOU SEE HIM YET RED HOOD?

Batman stared at the message also and then looked at Gordon, nodding his head for the room to be cleared. The commissioner sighed and called for his guys to vacate for a few minutes, letting the vigilantes have the room. Jason started looking at the faces of the patrons, wondering who he was looking for. While Jason looked at faces, Batman looked at him. He could feel the man’s eyes, probably trying to read his body language, see how his mind was at the moment. He wouldn’t lie, his mind was fuzzy, the sight of all this death was almost too much for him to handle and he had been an assassin once. He was trying to avoid staring at the gaping holes in the victims’ chests.

“Why do you think they took the faces and the hearts?” Jason asked, trying to focus in on the case, ignore the dread rising in his chest.

“I am not sure, but we are most definitely dealing with at least two people who are very annoyed at you,” Batman said. Jason didn’t like that, that Batman was already blaming these deaths on him. ‘If you hadn’t killed Joker all these people might be alive’ he could Bruce’s voice in his head, the accusations stinging. “Do you know someone here?” Jason shook his head as he rounded to the back of the bar and stared.

“Ya, I do,” he said, eyes falling on Auggie Valentine. “This guy, um, he was my best, well my only friend in Crime Alley, before you took me in.” He looked at Batman and Batman stormed out of the bar. This was bad. Very bad. If this person had killed one of Jason’s friends that meant they knew who Red Hood was. They knew where he lived. He took off running, climbing on his bike and driving like the devil possessed him back to the cave. He had to know if YN was safe.

You were watching the monitor with Alfred, Dick, Barbara, and Tim, listening to Bruce and Jason talk about the murders. You were horrified by the family, and the bar just made things worse. Then Jason mentioned knowing the bartender and your blood ran cold. Someone knew. Someone knew Jason was Red Hood. The others noticed also, and they started looking around, maybe for listening devices, cameras, maybe for a person hiding in the shadows ready to attack. You sat the computer, staring at the live feed video from Batman’s cowl. You looked at the body of the bartender, noticing that you knew him too. He had been a loyal informant against Black Mask back when you were looking into him. Did the bartender know more than he said? Bartenders knew a lot of things that most people didn’t realize, and he had been willing to talk for no money, just the idea that Gotham would be safer if he helped. Auggie was a great person, you could see how Jason would have been friends with him as a kid. He was a good person; he didn’t deserve to be murdered and have his heart ripped anymore than those children deserved their deaths. It made you sick and you could only imagine what Jason was thinking.

The familiar sound of the Batmobile and Jason’s bike came from the ramp into the cave, and you went with the others to meet them. Jason was off his bike, helmet tossed aside and running towards you, taking your face in his hands, looking frantic.

“Are you alright?” he asked. You nodded, reaching up and taking his hands, holding them in yours. “I thought…they know who I am…”

“Shhh, I’m here, we’re all safe,” you whispered, hugging him tight. He gripped you like he used to after a nightmare, like you were going to vanish if he didn’t hold you tight enough. The others went to the Batcomputer to start discussing the samples Bruce had brought back and the other clues from the crime scenes.

“You’re not safe, please take some time off, please stay here,” Jason begged. You nodded, anything to calm him down. His breathing was hitching, and he was going pale. You guided him to sit on the floor, sitting next to him.

“I won’t go anywhere, I’ll stay here, take deep breaths,” you said, rubbing the back of his head gently, petting his hair, catching the white streak and massaging the spot it sat on. He leaned his head into the touch, matching your deep breaths with his own.

“It was awful,” he said, finally calm again. “It’s my fault.”

“It is not your fault. You are not responsible for these monsters. You are a hero,” you said. He shook his head.

“I killed Joker, they saw it as a challenge. I thought it would end with him, but instead I just created a new threat. One head is cut, two more grow back,” he said. You leaned to his shoulder, arms around him.

“Jason, you killing Joker didn’t bring this about, this city is rotten, we all know it. Something in the air here breeds horrible criminals. No matter what happened they would be here, they just picked you because you are doing the most good right now. Just like they went after Batman,” you said, desperate to stop him from spiraling down into self-loathing again. You could see the signs, his eyes distant, his body fatigued from worry and despair.

Jason had heard stories about what happens right before you die. You see a white light, hear angels singing, everything goes black, you see your life flash before your eyes. What he didn’t know was that the only thing that you really thought about as you lay, body aching, blood pooling around you, was your regrets. He could see the bomb ticking down nearby, 3, 2, just before the 1 it felt like time stopped, his brain trying to process everything inside it at once before clocking out forever. He processed each image going through his head, not being able to stop his dad leaving, save his mom from ODing, times he couldn’t control his anger, times when he should have spoken but instead stayed quiet. It was maddening realizing how stupid he had been over the last 17 years. But the worst, God the worst images were the ones he had of you.

Jason hadn’t stopped watching over you after that hospital room visit. You hadn’t known but he had found you, when you were working your high school job, when you were sitting in the library, wondering why that boy a few tables down kept staring at you. You would put your book away and go to speak to him and Jason would be gone. He watched you when you walked to school, forgoing getting in early from patrol just to make sure you were safe. He should have used that time to talk to you, find out your name, your interests, your heart. Why had he let Bruce get into his head and stop him?

It hadn’t taken long for Bruce to figure out why Jason had hesitated, why he had followed the girl to the hospital after the attack at the high school. He had thought at first the boy just had a crush, it was the first time he had saved someone his own age and Bruce remembered how he had followed his first rescue around for a time, wanting to make sure they stayed safe. However, it didn’t stop. After a month of Jason losing sleep, skipping trainings, Bruce had went snooping. He talked to Dick who tried to skirt they question but he couldn’t keep lying and told Bruce about giving Jason the flashcards. That complicated things. Bruce tried to talk to Jason, telling him he should stop following this girl, wait until he was older and more controlled before seeking her out. Jason had rebelled at first, claiming he could do both, that he was in complete control, until he had been following YN home from an after-school activity instead of patrolling with Dick. Batman had to fly in and keep Nightwing from getting a broken skull and not just a broken arm. Beyond the guilt he felt Jason also felt pain from getting worked over by Bruce for so long. Extra drills, extra studying, extra sparring, his body and mind were drained completely for nearly a month. He stopped following you around, held himself back. He expected to be able to get older and find you again. He didn’t expect Joker and a crowbar and a bomb.

His blood was red, he knew that, but now he wished he didn’t. As he lay watching that timer tick to 1 he wished he couldn’t see that the numbers were red. Wished he didn’t know what any of these colors were. But instead of black and white he just saw the red and when the timer finally clicked 0 he saw the brown of your eyes before seeing nothing at all.

The rainbow was back. Green, lots of green, browns and blacks, rocks, red and orange and yellow, fire, bronze, the hand currently helping Jason out of the warm, acrid water pit he was in. He stood, legs shaky, feeling a blanket being put on his shoulders, which was nice considering he was naked and now could see several people in the room. He wasn’t sure what was going on, his brain muddled entirely. He remembered pain, almost nothing but pain, but there was something else, eyes, brown eyes, when he remembered those, he felt peace for just a moment before the pain came back. “Jason Todd,” he heard the woman who had pulled him out of the pit say. He didn’t look at her, wasn’t sure who she was talking to. Her hand grabbed his chin, and she pulled him to look at her. “Jason Todd, that is your name,” she said. He stared at her and then saw green, teeth baring as he moved without thought, throwing kicks and punches, anger surging through him. He was able to get past a couple of the other people in the cave before he felt a prick to neck, then he saw nothing again.

Unlike death, sleeping allowed Jason to dream. These dreams were violent, angry, a bat diving and soaring while he tried to attack it. It hurt him, it healed it, it hurt him again. There was some kind of blue bird, diving at him, sometimes helping the bat attack him, sometimes scaring the bat away. Jason wanted to spread his red wings and fly away, get far away from the bat and the blue bird, but he felt trapped, something holding him to the ground. His cries were drowned out by the screech of the bat as it came in for the kill.

Cold water rushed over Jason, making him sit up fast, head spinning. He tried to attack again but was immediately put under by whatever had subdued him the first time. By the time they woke him up again he had realized he needed to contain whatever this green rage was the filled him. When doused with he ice water this time he sat up and looked around slowly, observing. He didn’t know why but he paid close attention to the tiny details, the way someone stood, how the cave was laid out, exits and rocks that appeared loose in the walls. He knew, muscle memory, what to do if he needed to escape.

“Jason Todd,” the woman from before said. He looked at her, the name registering this time. Yes, his name was Jason Todd. He was from Gotham. He was Robin. Some pieces were starting to come together in his head.

“Where am I?” he asked, voice hoarse and scratchy. He didn’t remember sounding like this before. He cleared his throat but still felt the burn and itch, like he was growing new vocal cords. He coughed.

“You are with the League of Assassins, my father, Ras Al’Ghul, has decreed that you be brought back and returned to the Batman,” the woman said. Jason visibly recoiled at the mention of Bat. No, not the Bat, no more Bats.

“No,” he said. The woman looked at him hard, seemingly seeing through to his very soul, before she nodded. She said something in a language he couldn’t identify to another in the room. This person approached, helping Jason to stand and led him deeper into the cave, emerging on the side of a mountain. He was guided up roughly hewn steps to a large compound on the top of the mountain. The person was silent as they showed him a room and left him, locking the door. It was small, change of clothes on a very uncomfortable looking cot, but he wasn’t sure he had a choice at the moment, so he changed into the clean clothes and settled in to sleep again, his dreams still of being a red bird with a bat on attack.

Jason spent the next five years with the league of assassins, training, learning, and carrying out missions for their creed. He moved up their ranks but never reached the top, always a few rungs down on the later because he couldn’t always control the rage he felt. If he saw green, then everyone suddenly stopped working towards the leagues mission and just started working on getting him subdued. He was a liability until he could get it under control. That was, until Ras Al’Ghul himself met with him in his study. The room was finely furnished which always itched Jason the wrong way. Why did the man who said they were working towards a greater world for all, be so rich and mighty above his league? Jason also didn’t understand why Ras kept getting brought back from the dead. Ras had been in the pit several times, he knew the rage that Jason had, had been personally training him to control it, however, Ras didn’t seem to control it as much as he mastered it. He was able to use the rage to help him reach his goals, but he told Jason to contain the rage, not use it. It was hypocrisy and Jason hated it.

“Do you know why I have asked you here boy?” Ras asked, standing behind his desk, hands folded behind his back, appearing casual. Jason wasn’t an idiot, this wasn’t casual, there was a knife back there ready to go through his heart if he would step out of line. Jason shook his head.

“I really don’t,” he said, folding his arms, defiant. He wasn’t afraid of death anymore. He couldn’t imagine why he would be. He already had seen his regrets move through his mind in slow motion, he didn’t have a lot more to add. Nothing was worse than his regret of not finding you when he had the chance, so why would he be afraid now?

“I believe it is time for you to leave our ranks,” the master said. Jason wasn’t all that surprised. He was dangerous to anyone and everyone. He still had his triggers and if he was being honest, he didn’t try to fight against them in the field. He didn’t really care who lived or died, except for children. No matter what, children had to survive. “Do you have any argument?” What was the point?

“No,” he said, letting the word fall between them. Ras nodded, unsurprised, but disappointed. Somehow, despite death and years with assassins and barely any decent memories Jason remembered that face on Batman…Bruce…Batman…Bruce. He took a breath and stopped his mind racing. Jason didn’t wait for anymore from Ras, turning and heading to get the few things he had. He found them already by the door of his room, packed and ready. Least he knew where he stood here. There was no fanfare to his departure, no one even looked his way as he walked out into the world.