#brofiling

Not a satirical post but a link to a useful analysis from our parent site kineticnow.com. Summary of main points:

In the month since the Zimmerman case, the mainstream conversation has morphed into a personal verdict on Trayvon's behavior and a cultural indictment on black people more broadly. Here are five keys that explain how this shift contributes to a broader American history of racial injustice:

Key #1: Practice racism without being racist American racism is more of a color-blind cultural racism than a personal racism. This kind of racism allows people to believe cultural stereotypes about minority communities in general, without feeling like they are being personally racist against minority individuals.

Key #2: Continue a long American tradition of condemning blackness (while confirming whiteness) American cultural stereotypes linking blackness to criminality go back a long ways, to discriminatory social policies and Jim Crow laws instituted after the Civil War that condemned black people as a group based on biased crime statistics. Meanwhile, similar patterns of crime by white immigrant groups were instead humanized and individualized.

Key #3: Use new Jim Crow methods to legally profile black/brown men with "reasonable suspicion"  Our current legal system enforces a new kind of Jim Crow policing and segregation in urban black/brown communities, while largely ignoring suburban white communities, through the court sanctioned use of de facto racial profiling and discriminatory sentencing in the War on Drugs. This results in a disproportionate suspicion of black/brown men.

Key #4: Rely on whiteness to deny 'neighborliness' to black/brown neighbors White privilege shapes the ways people interpret and suspect the actions of their non-white neighbors. This happens even if the person suspecting the neighbor is non-white, because whiteness is a system of beliefs that we are all immersed in, so you don’t have to be white in order to uphold the normalcy of whiteness.

Key #5: Stand your (white) ground by supporting gun laws based on white supremacist talking points Laws like Stand Your Ground (which, by the way, was absolutely part of the Zimmerman defense) reflect fears and paranoias that once were the domain of white supremacist groups but are now a part of mainstream NRA talking points that openly encourage violent white vigilantism as a “reasonable” response to suspicious behavior in “your” neighborhood.

Ethnic Caucasian Male Wearing Bro Hijab: Why Is He Hiding?

May 12, 2013 - hari stephen kumar

Alarmed citizens have raised concerns about the increasing trend of ethnic Caucasian males wearing full head coverings to hide their faces from public view. Usually colored a sullen gray or ominous black, these “bro hijabs” are often worn over a dirty baseball cap whose brim obscures the top part of the wearer’s face. The combination shrouds their dark-browed scowls in menacing shadows that discourage anyone from engaging them in conversation.

“It’s almost like they’re saying, within the limitations of their low-IQ home languages, that they don’t want to assimilate into our culture,” said Jason Richwine, a professor of Public Policy from Harvard University who studies the cultures of low-IQ groups in America. According to Prof. Richwine’s research, the consequences for such groups are “a lack of socioeconomic assimilation, more underclass behavior, less social trust, and an increase in unskilled workers.” Prof. Richwine relayed anecdotes of such patterns in the behaviors of ethnic Caucasian males wearing bro hijabs: “I can always pick out these guys in my classes,” he said, “they are the ones who sit in clusters by themselves, slumped into chairs and hidden in their bro hijabs and caps, looking down at their desks and sullenly chewing gum at anything I say to them.”

While such dress choices might seem benign, there may be a more devious motive for why increasing numbers of ethnic Caucasian men are choosing the bro hijab, or “brojab” as they call it. “It’s really a law enforcement issue,” says a spokesman for a major state university’s campus police, “I mean, the majority of campus sexual assaults are committed by ethnic Caucasian males, but when we put out a crime alert for a ‘Caucasian male about 5’9” wearing gray hooded sweatshirt’ the problem is that describes over half the campus population, so these ethnic Caucasian males quietly slip on their bro hijabs and blend right in, knowing that we're not gonna stop and frisk white males just because they match the brofile.”

Caucasians on a bus exchanging suspicious material

A Caucasian male passes suspicious material to a disheveled Caucasian female on a bus. Though they were not sitting next to each other, they spoke in heavily-accented Caucasian English. This alarmed a brave patriot, who took this picture and alerted authorities. Police stopped the bus and escorted the two Caucasians away for questioning.

Photo submitted by an anonymous contributor.

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Commentary

This brofile is in response to the following news report from Boston the day after the Marathon bombing:

A plane headed to Chicago was brought back to the gate at Logan Airport, after some passengers — who also participated in the marathon — expressed concern over two men, who were apparently not sitting next to each other but were speaking in Arabic. The men were escorted off the plane.

A pattern of violence by "self-radicalized" ethnic Caucasian males.

-- submitted by an anonymous source, in response to Facebook arguments that immigration reform must be stopped because the Boston bombing suspect is a white guy who immigrated from the Caucasus region.

White male talking in thick Caucasian-accent. What is he saying? Is it code? Loose translation = "Death to the English language."