You know what else kind of messes me up?
Canonically Ryder is the youngest of the crew. The twins are 22. Twenty. Two.
My heart just breaks for Ryder even more. Your dad, well known and respected just for being an N7, dishonorably discharged or not, biotic and builder of a new form of AI. He made himself even more of a legend by making the ultimate sacrifice between him or his kid.
And Ryder has to live with it. Nobody else knows how selfish Canon Alec was. That it was all a plan for Ellen to live. He saved his kid because he didn't want her to wake up and have one of the twins dead.
(now my take on alec is much more in-depth than the flat kind of creepy in his obsession way he is here)
I’m blown away how Ryder manages to hold it together. You can't exactly fall apart in the game but the principle still stands. Can you imagine being 23, dragged across dark space with your twin and your dad and whatever you could fit in a footlocker, previous career in tatters? And then he has the audacity to up and DIE on you, only to heave his responsibility of his kid, rather than follow the chain of command.
Cora was bitter about it all and honestly her jealousy and insecurity really made me dislike her A LOT. She doesn't outright say the words but with every comment of ”alec would know what to do” ”sarissa has a plan” ”i wish alec were here” she's basically saying Ryder should have died instead.
Imagine being 22. You're stuck with a responsibly you haven't trained for and if you tried to lass it off you would die because the AI in your head is too deeply entangled with your physiology to safely separate you. Your own surviving family member is in a coma because the arrival to the new galaxy started off as a shit show and just. Didn't. Stop.
Playing this game, honestly, it's stabbed at my feels particularly for Ryder. It's not just Cora!! Tann and Addison are much more blatant about it.
Stars can you just imagine being told you're the new beacon for your species, and have zero support? Because they've looked at you and judged you all wrong for the job. Because it should have been Alec who made it back.
Alec gets his legacy written in the stars, tied up with a bow about how he sacrificed his life for his child, and for WAY to long Ryder gets shit on for not whipping out a magic wand and fixing all the problems.
I can rant about this all day.