No thoughts just Cary looking like the Scottish Widows lady on the set of Saw 3D. š

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No thoughts just Cary looking like the Scottish Widows lady on the set of Saw 3D. š

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Happy holidays Saw loving hunnies x
Still thinking about the time I dreamt that Bradley Walsh from āThe Chaseā was in āSaw IIā as one of the detectivesā¦
His only catchphrase that he repeated multiple times was āthe chase is on to find Jigsawā.
What each Saw character would get as a Tesco meal deal (scientifically accurate)
Hello everyone, I decided as my debut long Saw shitpost, I thought I would decide what meal deals different Saw characters would opt for if they stumbled into a Tesco and were a bit peckish after setting up a few traps.
If youāre not from the U.K. or Ireland and are not familiar with the British & Irish institutions of a meal deal, itās basically a packaged sandwich, pasta pot, salad, bit of sushi maybe alongside a snack item and a drink for a fixed price (it used to be around Ā£3/ ā¬4 but the shops are taking the piss now). Meal deals are considered a treasured institution here and are an indication of your personality. People judge your character based on what you get between two slices of cheap bread.
Hereās what different Saw characters would get for a Tesco meal deal:
Adam (Faulkner) Stanheight
1. Southern fried chicken chipotle mayo sub
2. Doritos cheese flavour
3. Vimto still drink
Judging on how we know Adam is quite an unorganised adult struggling to adult most days, I would assume he opts for high energy foods to keep his tastebuds happy. Cheese, spiced chicken and fruity drinks seem up his street. Plus, Vimto is a very Mancunian thing and if Saw was set in the U.K., thereās no way Adam would not be from Manchester.
Dr Lawrence (Larry) Gordon
1. Eat Your Greens Feta Salad
2. Apple & Grape snack pot
3. Chilled Iced Latte
I feel like because Larry is a doctor, he prioritises convenience but also eats healthily. I also imagine him to be meat free/ vegetarian so that explains the feta & greens salad (I donāt think heād be vegan though, he seems like he loves proper cheese too much). Larry seems like heād always be carrying breath mints or tictacs to minimise the cheese or coffee breath- nobody needs a waft of that when being told theyāve got 6 months left to live.
Amanda Young
1. BLT sandwich
2. Walkers Thai Sweet Chilli Sensations Crisps
3. Monster Energy drink (chosen based on packaging colours to match mood)
Amanda is a busy lady planning traps and building contraptions designed to almost certainly kill people. She seems like she enjoys a bit of spice along with classic comfort combinations.
John Kramer
- Chicken & bacon sandwich
- Egg snack pot
- Green smoothie
John seems like heās mindful of what he puts into his body considering heās consistently a salt & vinegar crisp away from death with the cancer and all. Heās also a very smart man so he would know the best value for money combination with a meal deal is getting an overpriced fruit smoothie for a drink.
Mark Hoffman
- All Day Breakfast sandwich (triple)
- Walkers Max Salt & Vinegar crisps
- Red Bull
Mark seems like he canāt get enough of bacon & sausage, even though itās cold and not exactly very fresh. Maybe heād even have a bit of HP brown sauce with it. Mark would also probably make immature jibes towards vegans and vegetarians because heās that kind of man. Considering Mark works overtime setting up traps and evading capture, all heād be drinking by the events of Saw 7 would be energy drinks.
Jill Tuck
- Egg & Cress sandwich
- Arla strawberry protein yogurt
- Bottle of water
Jill is a bit⦠bland. Iām sorry but I just have to say it. Egg & cress perfectly summarises Jillās personality as seen in movies 4-7 between two pieces of bread.
Peter Strahm
- Deli style cheese & pickle sandwich
- Smoked salmon sushi pack
- Pepsi Max
Strahm made some good decisions, some regrettable ones and one very very dumb decision during his time in the Saw universe. Just like his track record with making poor decisions, Iād guess Peter would get some supermarket sushi as a snack with his meal deal- not very fresh nor authentic and will leave you wondering why you couldnāt have got a pack of reliable crisps or a chocolate bar instead.
Lindsey Perez
- Feta & sundried tomato pasta
- Propercorn sweet & salty popcorn
- Fanta orange
Perez is a great character and so she would get a meal deal to reflect that. Why do I also imagine Lindsey being veggie?
Eric Matthews
- Meatball marinara sub
- Walkers Monster Munch Pickled Onion crisps
- Red Bull
I feel like this choice accurately reflects Eric. Itās a combination thatās maybe reflective of an immature palette, maybe even a sort of guilty pleasure combination. I wonder if heād put the monster munch hands (or feet) on his fingers and eat them like that.
Hope you enjoyed my incredibly British saw shitpost x
āWhy hello Jill!ā š
Ainsley Harriott meme & Saw 3D fusion
Something for the British saw fans to appreciate

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Lawrence leaving Adam in the style of a sad, poignant āEastendersā ending with āJuliaās Themeā (+ custom titles)
To all of the British (or Anglophile) Leigh fans out there nervous about the critical reviews and the box office projectionsā¦
ā¦Fear not, we have the endorsement of Keith Lemon (Leigh Francis). That should solve our problems, shouldnāt it? š