#bringbackbarba

“You know what I meant” he snapped back, frowning at Liv.

“Did we?” Nick shot over his shoulder.

“No one asked you Amaro” Rafael hissed “I could have blown her cover”

“Barba your face was priceless” Sonny turned to smile at him, making Nick, Amanda and Fin burst out laughing.

“Yeah yeah jokes on me” Rafael narrowed his eyes at Sonny “Going to fill me?” he looked at Liv huffing “I need to stay to make sure all my detectives are doing their job”

“I see what you did there, nice try” Liv smirked at him.

A victim had come in claiming she had been assaulted by the head of Jeffery and Partners, one the biggest firms in Manhattan. After doing more digging there were multiple complaints brushed under the carpet, some now out of the statute of limitations, only one case with evidence which was the most recent from that week. So it was decided for you to go undercover to catch him red handed. Jeff Jeffery had the same MO. Pretty personal assistants, wine and dine her week 1, take her for drinks and dancing, drug and assault her week 2. He had a huge turnover of assistants some not even remembering being assaulted.

You had turned up at the firm that morning in a tight fitting grey and burgundy plaid knee length tight fitting dress, black waist belt with burgundy cardigan and a pair of black peep toed Mary Jeans. Your thick rimmed glasses had a camera in it and your watch had your microphone. Your undercover name was Rachel.

The undercover was approved by Tucker, but you never knew that morning that Rafael would be turning up to have a meeting with Jeff about a case the DA had kicked to Rafael to get it sorted out. As soon as you saw Rafael being walked into the conference room your eyes opened wide and you saw him do a double take. He went to open his mouth and you shook your head slightly at him and it clicked. You were standing next a sitting Jeff sorting out some files for the meeting,

“Rachel, be a Darling and order Mr Barba and I a coffee. You know how I like it” Jeff winked at you reaching up and giving your hip a squeeze. Rafael frowned as anger ripped through him seeing another man touch you like that.

“Mr Barba how do you like your coffee?” You looked over at Rafael trying to act cool.

“Black” Rafael looked you in the eye, a slight smile pulling to his mouth.

“No problems” you smiled walking out of the room.

“Pretty thing isn’t she” Jeff looked over at Rafael who gave him a tight lipped smile.

It had been a long first day and you felt so dirty. Jeff was a sleaze. Nick, Sonny and Rafael clenched their teeth in anger a few times that day watching how Jeff spoke to you and touched you.  You had to kept your cool and played along. The undercover was only approved for 3 weeks.

“This guy is creep, it’s her first day” Sonny kept watching the screen.

“I don’t want her in there longer then she needs to be” Rafael looked at Liv all red by what he was seeing the jealousy running through him.

“Neither do we” Amanda answered back.

“If he sticks to the same pattern, he will ask her for dinner on Friday, then next weekend comes the dancing and drinks.” Liv looked between everyone.

“I’ll have to remind her again to not drink the cocktail when that happens” Nick looked at Liv.

----

You had just stepped out of your bathroom after a shower still feeling dirty from the day, walking out in navy cotton shorts and a Beatles Abby Rd t shirt, your hair still damp. You had ordered in Thai for dinner and thought that’s who it was when there was a knock on the door.

“Just a second” you yelled as you pulled money out of your purse walking to the door, you swung it open, “You’re not my dinner- Hey Barba” a small smile came to your face.

Rafael laughed gruffly at you looking you up and down taking you in, “No I’ am not your dinner Detective. Can I come in?”

“Sure” you moved out of the way for him, “Is something wrong?” You said to Rafael’s back as he walked into your apartment.

“No, it’s a social call” Rafael spun on his heels to look at you “I wanted to check in, make sure you were ok after today. I was with the squad all day watching”

“Mr ADA checking up on me hey” you winked at him and walked into your kitchen to turn the jug on, Rafael laughed to himself. “Coffee? Or something stronger?”

“What are you having?” Rafael shot back at you with a smirk.

“After today, something stronger” you laughed.

You turned around in the kitchen and opened the cabinet that had your harder liquor and mixers. Rafael watched as you reached up on your tippy toes stretching up giving him a good view of your ass and seeing the exposed skin around your middle from your shirt riding up, he felt himself twitch behind his zipper and cleared his throat to control himself.

“Pink gin and lemonade?” you looked over your shoulder.

“Sounds good Y/N”

----

“Well I better call it a night” Rafael looked at you with a small smile starting to get up off his chair “Thanks for sharing your dinner with me and the drinks” You now standing making your way around the table, walking closer to Rafael.

You had a good night with him. The laughs and the conversation just flowed. An amazing tension filled the apartment, and the flirty back and forth excited you.

“You’re welcome anytime Rafael, it was just what I needed after today. It’s only the first day” you huffed “Can only imagine what the next couple of weeks are going to be like”

Rafael walked closer, running his pointer finger knuckle down your jaw.

“How about tomorrow night- I can bring dinner and wine?” his nose almost touching yours “Help you unwind”

“Just dinner and wine?” you looked up with a cheeky smile on your face, Rafael laughed gruffly.

“For now” he looked at you with a smirk “Just until the trial is over and the case is closed. Then I’ll be making you scream my name” You laughed stepping back.

“You’re going to make me wait 3 weeks?” you crossed your arms in front of yourself frowning.

“I promise it will be worth it” Rafael lent over and kissed you on the cheek. Rafael pulled away and had a serious look on his face “If it gets too much, let me know and I’ll get you out of there. Please stay safe”

****

Rafael had come to your apartment every night bringing dinner with him and helping you unwind. The tension between you both was thick and heavy. Just the night before, you both stood in your hallway as he was leaving just touching each other all over, ghosting each other’s lips, fingers tips just brushing along skin, Rafael extremely hard and you so wet.

“Do we really have to wait?” you said into his lips as yours almost touched his.

“It’s for the best or I’ll have to recuse myself. Just a bit longer- It’s killing me too” Rafael answered back as his fingertips brushed down your arm.

****

“Y/N remember, don’t drink the cocktail” Nick looked over at you.

You were standing in the bullpen with everyone including Rafael while you put on your spy wear. A camera in your earrings and your microphone in your necklace.

“I don’t know how I feel about you going in dressed like that” Sonny looked at you up and down.

“I agree” Rafael followed, everyone turning to look at him.

“Ok Dad’s-You two need to relax I need to look the part” You snapped back at them both.

You had a black backless very low v cut thinned strapped singlet top with a gold sequin short a lined skirt with black strappy blocked heels that wrapped up around your ankles. Your hair down in lose waves and heavy make up with plum lips.  

“Carisi, Rollins and Amaro will be in the club, you know your signal. We will be waiting in the van” Liv looked at you a little concerned.

“I’ll be fine Liv” You smiled at her squeezing her arm “I can’t wait to nail the bastard. I better go or I’ll be late, see you all after” You turned on your heels and headed to the lifts. Just as you pushed the button you felt a hand on your shoulder, you turned to see Rafael looking at you,

“If it’s about my outfit-“

“No” Rafael shook his head “Please be safe” he lent over and kissed you on the cheek.

You gave Rafael a small smile reaching a hand up to his cheek rubbing your thumb over his cheek bone, he lent into your hand “I’ll be fine Rafael, I know you’ll be waiting to take me home” you winked at him stepping into the lift.

The night club was filled to the brim, you would never know how Jeff managed to get a private booth in such a popular night club. You scanned the room and saw Amanda and Sonny sitting on the stools at a high top table, then saw Nick near some speakers near your booth also in clear view which settled you’re nerves. Rafael, Liv and Fin in the van watching your screen,

“As soon as she signal’s” Rafael looked over at Liv.

“Relax Barba she is doing a good job” Liv patted him on the shoulder.

Jeff had been handies from the moment you walked in. You were sitting next to him with his hands all over you running along every inch on your exposed skin.

“How about a shot and a cocktail” Jeff said into your ear.

“Sure” you kissed him on the cheek. He got up and walked to the bar, “I ‘am glad this is over tonight, don’t know how many showers I’ll need to get the muck off” you said loud so the van could hear it, Fin and Liv chuckled low at your comments, a small smirk on Rafael’s face.

Jeff had walked back to the booth with a tray which had two shots and two cocktails. He placed the tray on the table and handed you your shot. He made his way back over to you sitting right next to you putting his arm around your waist holding the shot glass up to you,

“Cheers to the most beautiful assistant I have ever had. May the fun begin” you both clicked your glasses and shot it back.

You were dirty dancing with Jeff soon after when you started to feel hot and light headed, you hadn’t touched your cocktail so you didn’t know why you were feeling like that. You shook your head and continued to dance. Jeff sat down on the couch in the booth, pulling you onto his lap. He started to run his hand up under your skirt, you pushed his hand away,

“I-don’t-feel-well” You tried to get up off him. Jeff pulled you back onto him.

“Where do you think you’re going, the fun is just beginning” his hand went under your skirt again. Your head was swimming and you felt dizzy.

“Stop-Liv-Raf-Rafi”

----

Rafael had sat in the van with his teeth clenched nearly all night. He couldn’t even drink coffee he thought he might throw up with what he was seeing unfolding in front of him. The way Jeff had his hands all over you made his blood boil. Liv had seen him multiple times ball his hands into fits.

He couldn’t wait for all this to be over so he could get you home and finally rid both of you of all the tension that had built up between you, he knew the wait would be worth it. After he saw you shoot the shot back he started to feel uneasy like something was telling him something. After a little while he could hear your breathing getting deeper,

“Something isn’t right” he sat up in his chair “Tell them to move in”

“Wow Barba” Liv looked at him with her mouth slightly open, Fin’s eyes wide.

“Listen to her breathing, something is wrong with her, Liv tell them to move in NOW” he slammed his hand down on the bench.

“She is dancing. Rafael I’ am commanding officer”

When your screen footage moved fast from you shaking your head and as soon as he heard you say you didn’t feel well, panic filled him.

“He spiked the shot” Rafael blurted out reaching over for the radio in front of Liv pulling it to his mouth “All unites go go go”

Sonny and Amanda looked at each other confused hearing Rafael’s voice coming over their ear piece, Nick quickly looked at you. He seen you stand up off Jeff and then fall onto the couch passed out Jeff reaching over to pull you onto him.

“I SAID GO DETECTIVES NOW” Rafael shouted over the radio while Liv and Fin jumped out the back on the van to run inside the club.

The club was locked down and Jeff was arrested. Nick wasn’t so gentle when putting his hand cuffs on, walking out to throw him in a squad car. Sonny and Amanda had rushed over to you when they saw you passed out on the couch. Both of them worried when they shook you and it did nothing. Sonny scooped you up bridal style and walked outside of the club to wait for EMT hoping the fresh air would wake you up slightly, Liv following behind leaving Fin and Amanda to crowd control.

Rafael was pacing outside the front door, he was tempted to just walk in, but he knew he couldn’t so he waited. His heart was in his throat when he seen you in Sonny’s arms limp and passed out. The EMT had just pulled up and Sonny walked straight over to put you inside,

“Barba, I’ am sorry I should of listened” Liv stopped next to Rafael.

“Yes you should have. You’re a smart women Liv how could you not see what was going on” Rafael frowned at her “You need to find out what he has given her for it to kick in so fast. You put her in danger, he has done enough damage to her these last couple weeks, we have all seen it and you still let her walk back in there every day and then you let him pull that not even taking on board what I could see was going on” Rafael raised his voice at Liv “I told you last week I had enough for a case and you kept pushing her to go back”

“I thought your jealousy was getting in the way” Liv shot back, making Rafael huff back frustrated.

“So because you thought I was jealous you left her in there to what- punish me for having feelings for her?”  

“Barba- She had a job to do. No one knew what was going on” Liv put her hands on her hips.

“I did” Rafael shouted again “All the signs were there how could you no- you know what” he frowned to her “You and I are done talking” Rafael turned his back and walked to ambulance.

You had transferred over from Narcotics just on 12 months ago. You had loved SVU from the moment you walked in. The work load and the co-workers, you were made for this job. You had gotten along with everyone straight off the bat, but one in particular, Rafael Barba. You guys had this fun little banter going on. The inside jokes, the funny text messages, the sassy comments he would leave on your Instagram uploads or video’s and the random coffee catch up’s after work or over the weekend at your apartment.  

It wasn’t until one night in his office late while you guys were working on a case that you looked over at him with his sleeved rolled up, tie lose, first couple of shirt button undone, vest and jacket off showing off his suspenders, tapping his gold pen on the his yellow note pad, licking his top lip as he looked up to smile at you, that you knew you had feelings for him. Of course you would never say anything just yet, you wanted to feel things out first.

You found yourself making more of an effort with your appearance on the days you knew he would be coming into the precinct, you had to go to his office or you had to go to court. Of course Sonny being your partner knowing you all too well, he noticed all this and finally called you out one lunch when you wore lipstick in a light shade of pink to court.

“You like Barba don’t you?”

“What- No don’t be stupid Sonny, he is a good friend”

“Yeah RIGHT, Don’t lie to me” he laughed to you.

You had had a healthy number of relationships. Your longest being 4 years which ended just before you transferred to SVU. You were transferring to SVU and your boyfriend took a bankers job in Texas. The long distance lasted for 3 weeks before you both decided to call it quits. You had your heart broken quite a few times, but nothing like this.

“I’ll wait at the car” you turned out of Rafael’s office and made a run for it before Sonny had a chance to stop you or Rafael knew you were gone.

“Where’s Y/N?” Rafael asked Sonny after the women walked out of his office.

“Ah, she got a phone call”

“I didn’t hear her phone ring”

“Anyway Barba the warrant” Sonny held his hand out to him.

You were leaning on the car with your sunglasses on hiding the tears you couldn’t hold in anymore.

“You ok?” Sonny squeezed your shoulder

“Yeah all good, let’s go”

Rafael hadn’t been seeing Melanie for all that long. She was a paralegal that he spotted one day walking through the halls, she gave him a small smile and it went from there. It was the honeymoon stage for now, she always wanted to spend time with him. Always wanted to go out for dinner and the movies. He was enjoying himself. But he often caught himself thinking of you, even while he was with her. More than once while Melanie had him fully in her mouth, he pictured it was you just before he would come.

It was like you had been made for him. He loved the little banter you guys had, but you never showed signs that it was any more than just friendship and he didn’t want to over step the mark and stuff up what you guys had. So when he seen Melanie, there was nothing holding him back so he made a move which ended up working in his favour, for now. Surely she understood his job, she was a paralegal working in the DA’S office.

After that day in his office you tried to keep your distance from him. You threw yourself into work and when you weren’t working you were exercising. You were running with Amanda every morning and going to the gym after work, sometimes till late at night. Which Sonny did not approve of you leaving late at night from the gym by yourself. You avoided going to Rafael’s office, Sonny would let you sit in the car while he ran in and if you knew he was coming you would disappear as soon as you seen him round the corner into the bullpen. Rafael would still message you and comment on your Instagram but you would ignore it every time.  You managed to keep this up for 4 weeks till a big case came in, it was all hands on deck and he was no longer somewhat avoidable.

You walked into the bullpen that morning covered in sweat. Amanda couldn’t run that morning, so you decided to go to the gym for a couple of hours before work, you knew with this case it would probably be the last time you would have time to work out till the case was over. You started in an hour so you were going to shower and change in the on call room. You walked in looking less then put together. Your black exercise pants wet with sweat as was your purple tank top and sports bra. Your hair swept at the front, back with more sweat and a reddened face. You walked into the bullpen going through your bag looking for your locker key, not paying attention.

“You’re here early” you froze, you knew that voice and you looked up to a smiling Rafael. “I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?”

“Sorry I can’t talk now I have get ready for work” you rushed off to the on call room.

----

“I’ am sorry Rafael, I can’t do it anymore. I need more than you can give me. I can’t be with someone whose job is more important than me.”

He stood there and watched as Melanie walked out of his apartment, not even chasing after her. And puff his fun was over. Melanie was just like everyone else, couldn’t handle his work life. But he wasn’t going to give that up just for a relationship. Rafael sat on his couch resting a drink, his mind running a thousand miles an hour when you crossed it and something clicked. “You idiot” he said under his breath.

He thought back to the last time he remembered seeing you, that day in his office when you and Sonny walked in and seen him and Melanie kissing, her grabbing hold of his suspenders pulling him into her. He hadn’t heard or seen you since and now he knew why. Clearly Sonny was in on it too, it was always the same excuse when he walked into his office alone, “She is on the phone” and the way you reacted to him this morning when you walked into the bullpen was enough proof.

It had been 4 weeks and you looked so different, he could see you had gotten fitter, leaner and he could see new muscles you had started to form. How didn’t he see it? He used the excuse that you hadn’t shown signs that you liked him when you had, more than once. He hoped he wasn’t too late. He couldn’t do anything tonight, court started at 9 am tomorrow and he had some last minute prep to do. He hoped you would be there so he could try and talk to you after.

You pulled out of Sonny’s embrace making your way to the foyer when you ran into Carmen walking back into the ball room,

“Y/N?” Carmen raised her eye brows at you.

“Hey Carmen, you look lovely”

“So do you, you look different without your badge”

You both giggled and made small talk about the Holiday’s when Nick walked out to find you, walking up to put his hand on the small of your back,

“Y/N- Hey Carmen- Liv wants a group photo before Barba has to rush off again”

The three of you walked back into the ballroom laughing and talking with each other when you looked ahead at a pair of narrowed green eyes that meet yours with a smirk on his face,

“Liv, I didn’t know you hired a new Detective” Rafael chuckled titling his head to the side looking you up and down.

“I’ll take that as a compliment” you scoffed with a wink.

“Can we get this photo over and done with” Fin grumbled.

Rafael stood between Liv and Fin, Fin’s other arm around Carmen. Amanda between Nick and Sonny and you in front of Sonny, his arm around your shoulders your hands grabbing onto his arm while a passer-by took the photo. You all had a looked at the photo when Liv’s phone was passed around. You handed the phone back and went to get a drink.

When you walked back over to where everyone was standing they were all nowhere to be seen. You scanned the room and seen them all in different places, Nick and Amanda dancing, Sonny talking to some ADA’s and Liv and Fin talking to some high up’s in the DA’s office. You pulled your phone out of your clutch and seen it was 11.30, if you left now you could be home in your warm cosy apartment in bed before the clock strikes 12, if you could get a cab so close to midnight.

“You don’t look happy tonight” You jumped and caught your breath when you saw Rafael walk from behind you to stand next to you “Not having a good time?”

You took in a deep breath and a sip of your wine, “Not my kind of thing, I was thinking about going actually”

“You can’t bring in the New Years by yourself looking like that- you look beautiful tonight Y/N- not that you don’t look beautiful all the time”

You looked over at Rafael who just took a sip of his drink pouting his lips looking ever so handsome in a black tux, his long fingers wrapped around his glass and you whimpered softly,

“Thanks- you look very handsome tonight too”

“Bring in the New Year with me”

“What?”

“Bring in the New Year with me” Rafael grabbed your hand and pulled you into him close, almost onto his body “I was the one that pushed to get you here tonight. Amaro, Carisi and Rollins are all in on it”

“Of course they are” you took a sip of your wine.

“I tried to make a move at Thanks Giving at Carisi’s but you missed the hint” your frowned at him trying to think what he was talking about,

“When?”

“When I asked if you wanted to go and look at the Christmas lights in the Bronx and you asked everyone to come”

Your cheeks went red and you looked down sighing,

“I’ am sorry Rafael I didn’t-”

“I know” Rafael let go of your hand and cupped your cheek rubbing over it with his thumb “But its ok, you’re hear with me now” Rafael smiled softly at you.

5

4

“Guess you’re going to get your wish Counselor”

3

2

“I’ am Detective”

1  

The room filled with confetti being released from the roof, loud cheers and glasses clinking together when Rafael’s lips meet yours for a soft sweet kiss. Your lips fitting perfectly with his, your free hand resting on top of the hand on your cheek. Rafael pulled back with smirk and kissed your cheek,

“Happy New Year’s Rafi, I hope it will be amazing year for you”

Rafael pulled you back in for a deep kiss groaning into your mouth when he felt your tongue enter his mouth.

“Happy New Year’s mi Amor, It’s going to be even more amazing with you” He lent down again pecking you on the lips “Let me go and say goodnight to the DA and we will get out of here” Rafael kissed your cheek and lent close to your ear “I have another idea on how we can welcome in the New Year.”  

“Y/N and Barba sitting in a tree, K-i-s-s-i-n-g” you rolled your eyes at Amanda as you took a sip of your soda.

“Don’t be a bitch Amanda, we haven’t even kissed yet- and what the hell is this horrific movie?” You reached for the remote to change the station.

You had gotten back from Hospital that morning feeling much better than you had in the last 24 hours. When you were rushed to hospital Rafael rode with you in the back and he stayed with you the night leaving early that morning to go home and shower and change for court. He was nothing but caring and attentive. He wasn’t able to take you home when you were discharged, so Amanda came and dropped you home and then came back once she clocked off after the first day of the trial.

Amanda came back with her overnight bag and Frannie worried about you being alone that night. You were sitting on your couch eating pizza with Frannie between you both.

“You never told me, how was the trial start today?” You looked at Amanda.

“Brutal, Barba is out for blood. Him and Liv aren’t talking you know. They had a fight outside the club.”

“What?” you looked at her wide eyed.

“Yeah he’s pissed Liv left you in there so long. He was the one who told us to move in, twice actually”

“Wow” you looked down to hide your slightly pink cheeks.

“Yeah hopefully after the trial he settles down a bit, he is wound so tight. You should be grateful he isn’t putting you on the stand.”

That night Amanda slept next you, Frannie once again between you both, she woke every now and then to make sure you were ok. It was early in the morning not long before you knew Amanda had to get up so you ordered some coffee and breakfast before she had to leave.

“If this is what I’ am going to be waking up to every morning can I move it?” a big smile on her face as she sat down.

“Don’t push it- but seriously thanks for staying last night, meant a lot”

“That’s what friends are for” Amanda gave you a big smile.

****

It was coming to the end of the week and Sonny had told you the jury was out for deliberation, a verdict should be in by the weekend. You had the odd message here and there from Rafael, but you knew he was busy with the trial. It had been a hot day, you were grateful that you were able to be home with the air con instead of being stuck in a court room. It had finally started to cool down as the darkness of the night rolled in, so you decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air.

You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time before you slipped on your brown side bag. You had changed into a black mid-thigh t shirt dress and some flip flops, your hair in a high pony tail and made your way out the door.  You walked a few blocks not really heading in any direction when your phone chimed with a new message,

Rafael: 7.30pm- Hey Amor how are you feeling? I just got home.

You stepped to the curb and held up your hand for a cab. The cab pulled up at Rafael’s apartment block. You made your way to the front door of the building looking for his apartment number and pressed the button. You had been there once before with Liv when you needed some paper worked signed late one night.

“Hello” his voice came over the speaker.

“It’s me” you answered back and the door clicked that it had been open.

Butterflies filled your stomach as you made the 4 floor ride up. As the door’s opened you seen Rafael standing half in his apartment half in the hall way leaning on the door frame, arms crossed in front of himself. As he laid eyes on you a small smirk came to his face. His tie, vest and suspenders gone and shoes off showing a pair of bright purple striped socks. He was in his dress pants and shirt, top few buttons undone seeing his undershirt and his sleeves rolled up above his elbows. As you got closer to Rafael you gave him a big smile,

“Hope you don’t mind me dropping by?” You stopped just as your feet were about to touch his.

“Of course not” Rafael stood up straight, wrapping an arm around your shoulders pulling you into him brushing his lips to yours as you felt a spark in your belly, you rested one hand just above his elbow and the other on his chest, “I’ve missed you, I’ am sorry I have been so busy” Rafael said just above a whisper while he used his hand that was around your shoulder to brush down your cheek, down the side of your neck, making you moan softly.

Rafael pulled you inside the door and shut it behind him sliding the bolt closed with his free hand, pushing you up against the wall just next to it, pressing his crotch into yours.

“The trial is almost over” he whispered into your ear “But you turning up here tonight, I don’t know if I can control myself any longer”

“If it’s too tempting, I can leave if you want me to” you smirked at him, moving to take your cross body off dropping it to the floor.

His lips came landing down on yours running his tongue along your lower lip. You opened your mouth slightly. The kiss was intense and fiery. You could feel him hardening against you. His hands started to ran down your sides and back up to your breast and he cupped them through your dress giving them a light squeeze, your panties damping even more. You were squeezing one of his shoulders with one hand, while you rested your other on his waist again. Rafael pulled away to look at you, his eyes filled with desire,

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t want you to leave” Rafael licked his bottom lip

“I’ am glad, because I didn’t want to”

Rafael’s lips came crashing down on yours again, your arms moved to wrap around his neck pulling him into you. Rafael ran his hands down your side again, lifting your dress up to your hips, reaching around to your ass grabbing onto it lifting you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist grinding down on him while he moaned into your mouth, your flip flops falling off your feet behind him.  Rafael pushed you into the wall for support as he reached down between you both, moving your panties aside sliding two fingers inside you,

“Amor, you’re so wet” he groaned.

“Well- you’ve made me wait three weeks” he laughed back at you as you started to kiss down his neck.

“Don’t be cheeky Detective” Rafael mumbled.

“Or what” you pulled away from his neck “you’ll fuck me here and not in your bed?” you said into his ear. Rafael made a noise somewhere between a choke and a grunt.

He was lighting fast, pulling his fingers out of you reaching down to undo his belt buckle, pants button and zipper, pushing them and his boxers down just enough to free himself. His fingers were back at your centre as he moved your panties to the side lining himself up to you sliding in slowly.

“That’s exactly what I’ am going to do” Rafael pushed himself in all the way bottoming out, pausing for a moment for you both to get your breaths. Your legs tightened around Rafael pulling him in closer. Rafael had already known you were on birth control and you were both clean from a conversation you both already had one night.

“You’re so beautiful” Rafael looked into your eyes as he started to move in and out of you.

“Kiss me Rafi”

Rafael’s lips met yours as he thrusted into you fast, the sexual tension that had built up between you both too much for you to handle. Not once did Rafael’s mouth leave yours, you both swallowing each other’s moans and grunts. Fighting to catch your breath you pulled away from Rafael’s lips and lent your forehead to his. The fire in your belly about to erupt through you,

“Rafi- I- oh my- RAFAEL” your body filled with pleasure as you tighten your legs around him even more, your whole body shaking. You lent down and started to suck on Rafael’s neck grinding onto him, sucking ever so lightly next to his Adam’s apple. The sensation charged through him and with one more big thrust he was coming, moaning into your shoulder.

As he started to slow his movements, you lent back into the wall to get your breath, loosening your leg grip on him to move to standing. Rafael placed you down slowly so you didn’t lose your balance. You fixed up your panties and pulled down your dress. You lent your back against the wall and slid down to sitting, stretching your legs in front of you puffed out.

“You ok?” Rafael looked down at you as he zipped himself away.

“Amazing” you smiled at him.

Rafael made his way down to sit right next to you putting his hand on your knee and kissing your cheek.

“Let me take you out on Saturday” Rafael moved to put his arm around you.

“Is this what you do Counselor, wall sex and then ask them on a date-Or I’ am special” You winked at him, a smile pulling to his face.

“I guess you’re just special” Rafael lent over and kissed you on the lips while your hand was resting on his jaw.

****

Saturday morning you woke, looking out the window to the sun shining drinking a coffee when your phone chimed,

Rafael-10 am: Looking forward to seeing you Amor, I’ll message when I’ am down stairs x  

Y/N- 10.02: Looking forward to seeing you Raf x

You walked to your wardrobe and pulled out the cloths you were planning on wearing, ran to the bathroom showering and dressing. You put on a pair a jean shorts, a light camouflage pattern t-shirt, a white blazer and picking a pair of double strapped slides. You put on some light make up and with light shade of pink lipstick and using your curling wand to put some waves in your hair.

You had just sprayed some perfume, putting what you needed in your brown side bag when a message came,

Rafael- 11.30am: Waiting down stairs x

You walked out onto the street and saw Rafael standing leaning against a taxi, wearing dark blue jeans, a grey short sleeved Henley and navy boat shoes, as you got closer a low whistle left your mouth,

“Did you just whistle at me Detective?” Rafael stood up off the taxi wrapping both arms around your waist, planting a light kiss on your lips.

“I did Counselor” you winked at him “You’re looking very handsome”

“No different than any other day” Rafael raised his eye brow at you with a smirk, you throwing your head back laughing at him “And may I say you look gorgeous today, like always”  

As you got into the taxi, Rafael gave your ass a small slap before getting in himself and giving the address, holding your hand the whole drive to Central Park. The taxi pulled up, Rafael paid and you both got out. Rafael was quick to grab your hand and pulled you towards the horse carriages, walking up to the first one in the line.

“Really Rafi?” a big smile coming to your face.

“What- too cliché?”

“Wh- Oh no. I have always wanted to-“ Rafael cut you off

“I know Rollins and Carisi told me how you always talk about it, and well I’ am pretty sure you like me so I’ am making it happen” You lent over and kissed Rafael light on the lips.

The ride through Central Park was beautiful.

“Y/N- Last weekend” he grabbed your hand squeezing it “I was frightened. I felt sick seeing you in that situation and I couldn’t do anything about it. I- like you a lot and I never got a chance to tell you before what happened and I’ am sorry for that, I should have told you”

You lent over and kissed Rafael on the cheek,

“It’s ok, we didn’t know what was going to happen. We were all taken off guard. I knew you liked me, you showed me more than once” you squeezed his hand.

“I was showing you in a different way, but I should have said something. I don’t want you to think that I just wanted you for that”

“I know Rafi. I like you a lot too and well- not just for that.” You lent over and kissed him deeply as the horse carriage pulled up.

Rafael got out the carriage first and then helped you get down,

‘Can you close your eyes for me Amor?”

“Ah-ok” you did as he asked and closed them, Rafael putting his hands on your waist guiding you forward till he stopped you.

“You can open them now” Rafael said into your ear.

You let your eyes adjust and you moved your hands to your mouth in surprise. Set up on the grass was a beautiful light blue gingham blanket with a brown wicker picnic basket in one corner with a bunch of sunflowers sitting in front of it.

“You’re not saying anything. Do you not li-“

Rafael was cut off when you wrapped your arms around his neck and your lips landed on his. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in, opening his mouth so you could deepen the kiss.

“Ok guys break it up”

You pulled away from Rafael and turned to see Liv standing there with Noah in his pram,

“Liv? Hey Noah- What are you doing here?” you walked towards Liv to give her a hug and then gave Noah a kiss on his head.

“I had some making up to do” Liv smiled at you, looking behind you to Rafael who stepped forward to wrap his arm around your shoulders.

“Thanks Liv” Rafael smiled over at her.

“I hope you guys enjoy it- see you Monday” Liv winked at you and turned to walk away.

Rafael grabbed your hand again and pulled you towards the blanket, making his way to the sit next to the basket, you followed sitting down next to him. Rafael opened the top of the basket and started to pull out its contents. Two wrapped sandwiches from the Cuban Deli that you liked, a tray of strawberries dipped in chocolate, a tray of 4 cupcakes beautifully decorated with love heart sprinkles, two plastic flute glasses and a medium size bottle of your favourite champagne.  Rafael picked up the bunch of sunflowers and handed them to you,

“These are for you” He handed them to you with a smile on his face.

“Rafi- this is- this is amazing, how did you know about all of this?”

“You have some amazing friends around you Amor- and I was told in not so subtle terms not to mess this up” he chuckled to himself “Rollins and Carisi told me everything, and I wanted to make this happen for you”

“Consouler, you getting soft on me” a cheeky smile came to your face.

“Never” Rafael winked at you.

The day had been amazing. The food was delicious and you were surprised at how publicly affectionate Rafael actually was.  It had started to get over cast as storm clouds started to move in. You guys had packed away what food that was left and the picnic blanket, walking out of the park hand in hand.

“Did you want to come back for coffee?” You looked over at Rafael as you made your way up to where some cabs were waiting just outside the gates.

“Just coffee?” Rafael winked at you.

“That’s original” you rolled your eyes with a smile on your face.

“I would love to mi Amor” Rafael lent over close to you ear “But I want to fuck you against your wall first.”

“Let me guess, Y/N is on the phone” he raised one eye brow at Sonny.

“Yeah- how did ya guess?”

“I stuffed up didn’t I Carisi?”

“More than you will ever know Counselor”

“She broke up with me, my work was more important than her and she didn’t like that” Sonny smirked at him “I’ am I too late?”

Sonny shrugged back “I don’t think so, but if you go after her too soon, she will think she is second best. Better choose your timing Barba. She is worth more than that.”

“Get her to come with you guys for a drink tonight”

“If she knows you’re coming she won’t come, and anyway she goes to the gym every day after work.”

“Don’t tell her. Why is she doing that? She has always been perfect.”

“I’ am not lying to her, no way. She started the day after we walked in on you and Miss Thing.”

“Please Carisi, get her to come with you guys. I’ll let you second chair with me again on the next case”

----

You were sitting between Amanda and Sonny at the bar, Liv and Fin next to Amanda all having a drink. Sonny managed to get you to come along with promises of cooking for you next weekend for your cheat meal when you smelt scent you knew too well, you lent back and seen Rafael talking to Liv, you lent over to Sonny and hit his arm.

“Dominick Carisi Junior, you’re meant to have my back” the rage was building up in you,

“Please don’t be mad at me. He asked me to get you here so he can talk to you. They broke up” you raised your eye brows as the anger bubbled over.

“I’ am no one’s second choice” you skulled your drink, got down off your stool and headed towards the door, “I’ll see you all on Monday, Amanda see you in the morning” you walked past everyone walking to fast to hear them say bye back.

You were so angry, “Fuck” you huffed, you had left your jacket behind. You stopped in front of the next store front and pulled out your phone to message Amanda to get your jacket when she left and give it to you in the morning, when you felt a hand on your shoulder you turned to see Rafael holding your jacket.

“You left this behind” he handed it to you giving you a small smile, your face like stone back to him “Don’t be mad at Carisi, I talked him into it. He didn’t want to but I pushed”

“Thanks” and you turned to walk away when he grabbed your arm and pulled you back

“Please don’t go-I”

“What do you want Rafael? I know you have broken up with Ms Barbie, but just so you know, I’ am no one’s second best. So if you have nothing more to say let me go so I can go home”

“You have never been my second best. You have always been my first- I just didn’t see, more I didn’t realise you felt the same. It didn’t click till, well-”

“What, till she broke up with you? Of course it clicked then”

“Please, let me explain”

“There is nothing to explain, it is what it is. Goodnight Rafael” you pulled out of his grip and walked off. He called after you a couple of times but you never turned around.

****

“I’ am going to tag you ok?”

“Let me see it first” you said back to your best friend.

It was Saturday night, Rafael had been trying to reach out all day to try and get you to talk to him, and so did Sonny. You sooner forgave Sonny then you would Rafael. Amanda was busy and couldn’t go out, so you messaged your Best friend who never said no. She didn’t know about Rafael, there was no point telling her about a crush. You guys were sitting on bar stools at a cocktail bar which had only opened a couple of weeks ago when the bar tender walked over to you passing you a drink,

“Ms, this is from that gentleman over there” you turned to where the bar tender was pointing and Rafael nodded at you taking a sip of his drink.

Rafael knew when he got home the night before from drinks with the squad he had stuffed up, he should have chased after you. He didn’t know what to do. He hated that he made you feel second best, that was never his intention. He wasn’t going to give up, not yet. The next day he sent message after message. He knew you had read them but you never replied.

It was 10 pm that night when his phone chimed with a notification from your Instagram that you had just been tagged in something. He opened it to your picture. You looked beautiful. Your hair in big curls, half over one shoulder and half down your front, light eye makeup with red lips and a black thinned strapped short layered dress showing off your legs with a low square heeled black heels, holding a drink in one hand and your other hand on your hip. It had the check in information, he clicked on it and it was the bar that had opened not far from him.

He didn’t know what took over him, he jumped up and ran to get changed into dress pants and a button down and ran out the door. He was going to make you listen to him tonight.

“Oh babe he’s cute, go and talk to him” your best friend nudged you.

“I work with him” you huffed rolling your eyes at her and got down off your stool picking up the drink “I’ll be back”

You walked through the people and stood next to Rafael who was sitting on the stool at the other end of the bar, he looked up at you with a smile and you took a sip of your drink.

“How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to see what your drinking, I’ am glad you don’t mix drinks Detective” he smirked back at you “Can we talk? But not here”

“I’ am not leaving my friend to have a chat with you Counselor”

“Come to my place when you’re finished, anytime doesn’t matter, I’ll wait up for you, I don’t live far, I’ll text you my address” you skulled the rest of the drink down, placed the empty glass down in front of him and started to walk away. “Is that a yes?” he yelled after you, you didn’t even turn around, you just raised your thumb up as you walked off.

He sat and watched as you walked away. As much as he hated what he had done to you, your body was amazing with all its natural changes. He was used to seeing you in work pants, blazers and shirts, which hide everything. Although that is what attracted him to you in the first place, seeing you tonight just showed him what he almost stupidly pushed away for someone that was never worth it in the first place. You were the whole package. He sent you his address and headed home to wait.

“What if he is really sorry, he could be your soul mate and you’re letting him go because you let yourself get too angry? So what if he was with someone else, if you had grown a pair and told him how you felt you would be going home to him tonight not dealing with this shit”  

You tapped the door lightly and waited. It was like Rafael was standing behind the door waiting.

“You’re here” he look amazingly sexy in navy track pants and a grey t shirt “Come in” he stepped aside for you to walk past. “Can I get you something? Coffee, tea, water?”

“Tea please, milk and 1” and you sat down at the dining table.

“It’s still early”

“Yeah my friend picked up someone and they left”

“Fair enough” he walked over and put your tea in front of you.

“Thanks, you’re not having anything?”

“I just finished my second cup of coffee, I thought you would have been later so I was trying to stay awake” you gave him a small smile “Thank you for coming” it was like one of his opening statements. “Before I start, can I ask you how much you have had to drink?”

You rolled your eyes at him “My last drink was the one you brought me”

“Really? Ok” he paused and took a breath “Can you just listen to me please. Hear me out before you say anything”

“I’ am not a jury Rafael, spit it out” you took a sip of your tea.

“I’ am sorry. For everything. I’ am sorry for missing the signs, I’ am sorry for not making a move, I’ am sorry I made you so angry and I’ am sorry for making you feel like you were second best. And most of all, I’ am sorry I thought I needed someone else when all I needed was you, I’ve missed you, so much. Even when I was with her” he paused “when her lips were around my- I- I wished it was you”

You sat there for a moment and let all that sink in, raising your eye brows at him with his last comment. You stood up slowly and walked around to the other side of table to Rafael looking down at him.

“Are you clean?”

“Wha- Ah yeah, we used protection. For everything”

“Are your bed sheets clean?”

“Yes, I changed them the night she left”

“So there is nothing here to remind you of her?”

“No nothing, and I don’t want to be reminded of her again” he had a nervous look on his face waiting for more questions.

“What was the reason for the break up?”

“She couldn’t be with someone whose job was more important than her”

“That’s it?” you almost laughed out loud.

Rafael stood up so you were eye to eye,

“What do you mean is that it? Should there have been more?”

“She didn’t know that you wished it was me when she was sucking you off?”

He gulped hard and shook his head no, his cheeks and tops of his ears turning bright red.

“I will make that fantasy happen, but not tonight. I fell for you, hard. And you picked someone over me even after I showed you more than once I liked you”

“But I-”

“Let me finish. I had intentions tonight to get under someone to get over you, but you came walking in with my favourite drink and showed me that I need you more than I let myself admit. I missed you too, but I’ am hurt Rafael. After what you just said, I forgive you. I just need some time to settle down a bit. It’s taking all myself control not to jump on you right now, but not tonight. You still have some making up to do”

“Anything it takes”

“You know me well enough by now, you will know what you can do” you lent over and kissed him on the cheek “You know where I live, I’ll be home all day tomorrow. Goodnight Rafael” and you turned and walked out the door to get a cab to go home.

Rafael stood and looked into the space you were just standing in. You had forgiven him, but you were right he had making up to do and he was going to do whatever it took. He jumped on his phone and did some research. He did know you, all too well. He knew what you liked and what you didn’t. He remembered a conversation you guys had once over a late Sunday coffee about what you liked to do to calm down when you were hurt or angry or work was getting to much. He put his alarm on for early in the morning so that he could get up and get everything together so he could get to you by breakfast time. He fell asleep that night after some self-care while he thought about you the whole time.

You walked into your apartment and went straight into the shower, you needed a cold one. The conversation went better than you expected. You loved how honest Rafael was with you. It took so much self-control not to push him into his bedroom and have your way with him after he told you when he thought about you. You would make it happen, you wanted it to happen, but not when he had some making up to do. You hinted at him that you would be home all day tomorrow, but you had to make yourself not to be too disappointed if he didn’t show up. You would have to wait till tomorrow to find out.

You let the water run over your head as you slid two fingers into yourself to relieve the tension that had built up inside of you thinking about Rafael the whole time.

****

You were woken by a knock on the door. “Just a minute” you yelled as you made your way to your door. It was 10.30 am, which wasn’t unusual for you to still be asleep this late on a Sunday. You opened the door to no one there, you looked down, and there was a box of 12 glazed doughnuts. A smile came to your face when you heard your phone chime from in your room. You walked back in, putting the box on the kitchen bench and went to look at your phone.

10.34 am Rafael: I’ll be there soon, this watermelon is heavy

You laughed out loud to yourself and started to get changed. You just pulled up your jean shorts when there was another knock at the door. “Coming” you yelled again.

You opened the door to Rafael in a pair of black pants and a black button down shirt, sleeved rolled up holding a tray with two coffee’s and a brown paper bag. He walked in before you had a chance to welcome him.

“Hope you haven’t started the movie yet” he said to you over his shoulder. You took him in from behind and smiled to yourself as you followed him down the hall.

“Johnny wears a leather jacket Rafa”

“I don’t own one. This is the best you’re going to get Hermosa”

“Hermosa?”

“It means beautiful in Spanish. Anyway put the DVD on before the pancakes get cold”

---

“That was a really good movie”

“I can’t believe it’s the first time you have watched Dirty Dancing, it’s a classic” he laughed at you and gave his famous smirk putting a hand on your thigh giving it a light squeeze.

“I’ am glad I watched it for the first time with you.” he turned and faced you more “I want to be your Johnny”

You laughed out loud and lent closer to him, just an inch from his lips, “Think you could dirty dance with me like that?”

“Oh Hermosa I can do more than dirty dance like that”

He closed the gap and his lips landed on yours, you tilted your head and opened your mouth slightly to deepen the kiss. You let your hand run down his chest and onto the slight bulge you could feel through his pants. You ran your hand over the top of it and Rafael shuddered with pleasure. You pulled away and stood up grabbing his hand and pulling him to your bedroom.

You stood at the foot of your bed, pulling off your shirt and shorts, leaving you in your bra and panties and laid down. Rafael laid next to you and started to kiss you rubbing his hands all over your body.

He reached behind you and unclipped your bra and pulled it off. There was something sexy about you being almost completely naked and he still fully clothed. He started to kiss down your neck, over your breast and down to your stomach and then back up again to your neck. He slid his hand down into your panties and started to rub you,

“Wow so wet for me already” and he continued to kiss over your breasts and slid one finger into you.

“You have too many cloths on Rafi” he pulled away from you much to your protest to unbutton his shirt. He then hocked his fingers around your panties and pulled them down and off of you, spreading your legs apart throwing them over his shoulder and started to lick up your core, slowly sticking his tongue in making you moan when he hit your clit flicking it.  

“Rafael-please-don’t-stop-”

You ran your fingers through his hair as you felt yourself getting close after he pushed in another fingers still flicking at your clit with his tongue and sucking it between his lips.  You arched your back and shut your eyes screaming his name as the pleasure ran through you. After he knew you had come down from your high, he came up and laid down next to you, leaning over to kiss you deeply. You could taste yourself on his tongue. In a quick movement, not even braking the kiss you rolled him on to his back, you on top of him.

“These pants need to go” you gave him a wink.

You undone his belt, button and zipper pulling them and his boxers off and throwing them on the floor. As you made your way back up kissing up his thigh. He was painfully hard.

“Now Counselor, about that fantasy of yours” Rafael bit his bottom lip and nodded in response.

You took him into your mouth and started to bob up and down a few times. You looked up and saw he was watching you with his mouth slack and you gave him another wink as you slide him to the back of your throat, repeating this action a few more times.

“I’ am going to cum if you keep doing that” he huffed out.

Rafael grabbed your arms and pulled you up to him so he could kiss you and you grinded yourself over his hard cock.

“Condoms?”

“I’ am clean and on birth control”

“I’ am clean” he growled as he rolled you over onto your back and slid into you taking you by surprise. He started to thrust into you, slow at first and then he picked up the pace as you started to buck up into his every move, both chasing your release.

“Rrrraf-I” you moaned as he felt you tighten around his length and you screamed his name in pleasure again. All his fantasies came true when he seen your face and that sent him over, spilling into you,

“Fuck Y/N”.

His thrust’s slowed as he lent down and kissed you roughly, pulled out and rolled onto his back to relax his breathing. He rolled onto his side and pulled you to look at him by your waist.  

“I like you a lot Y/N. I ’am scared of walking out this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’ am with you”

You raised your eye brows at him surprised he had remembered that line after only watching the movie once, with a big smile on your face half laughing. “Really?”

“I know it took me a while, but I’ am not letting you go again, I promise.”