#rafaelbarba

You internally panicked as you tried to get out of bed without disturbing the figure next to you. You went to find your belongings and found they were scattered all around the apartment. You ran your hand through your hair.

You really messed up this time.

You found your phone on the sofa and saw it was 7:45 am.

You had 15 minutes to get to work.

You tiptoed out of Fin's apartment making sure you had all of your things before running out of the building to the station.

As you ran, the memories of last night flooded your mind.

It was loud. Large warm hands roaming down your body. One thing led to another.

Ughhhhhhh

When you arrived at the station Carisi was grinning at your appearance.

"Looks like someone had a good night," he said smiling.

You felt the extreme need to punch your best friend's grin off his face.

"Carisi shut up and cover me I have to change"

He said dramatically. "Why do I always have to cover you?"

"Because you're my best friend"

He chuckled. "Fine but if Liv finds out about this you'll never hear the end of it"

You forced a laugh. "Forget Liv. Its gonna be real awkward being with Fin now"

He flashed a grin at you before leaving to tell Liv you were having "lady issues" in the bathroom.

As you changed and got somewhat presentable you thought about last night.

You were embarrassed that you had gotten that drunk. He was your coworker for crying out loud. How stupid of an idea had crossed your mind.

You shook your head.

No.

You were gonna let him know it was a mistake. You were drunk and weren't thinking straight. That would eliminate any and all awkwardness and regret he probably had.

You gave yourself one more look in the mirror before going out where the rest of the squad was. You spotted Fin near your desk.

You walked over trying to calm the nerves going on in your stomach.

"Hey"

He looked up at you. "Hey"

You started fiddling with a nearby pen as you struggled to find the words you wanted to say.

"So about last night," he said interrupting your thoughts.

To the point. Of course, this is probably more embarrassing to him than to me.

"Yeah. Um. Honestly don't even worry about it we were super drunk. We're both mature adults and it was just a moment that won't happen again."

You glanced at him. He looked at you understandingly and you noticed a spark of something flash through his eyes.

Disappointment?

You mentally shook your head. Of course not. Why would he be upset? It was just a drunk moment.

"Yeah okay sure," he said before walking away.

Instead of feeling better, you felt worse. The interaction had been more than awkward. This was the exact opposite you were hoping for.

"It'll get better," you thought to yourself. "It was just a one night stand it didn't mean anything" ------------------------------ *One month later*

"Fin what is that smell?" You asked your partner in disgust.

"Um, it's my burrito?" He said as he took a bite from it.

You gagged. It smelled terrible.

He looked at you questionably.

"You good?"

"Yeah I think I just have a stomach bug"

It had been a month since that night. There had been an awkward phase at the beginning where Fin seemed to avoid you but then you both got back into your work dynamic. For the last couple of days, it seemed as if everything had gone back to normal except of course for your current stomach bug.

You were both having lunch before court. Well, Fin was. You felt too sick to eat anything.

Your phone ringed.

"Court is starting in 15"- SunBun (Carisi)

"We got to get back. I'm the first person Barba wants to put on the stand and Carisi said they are starting in 15" you said.

Fin took a huge bite of his burrito which made you want to hurl but you held it in.

"Okay well I'm gonna stop by the bathroom so go on without me"

"Okay"

As you walked into the courthouse you felt lightheaded and dizzy. You spotted Carisi talking to Barba and walked over to them.

Carisi spotted you and looked concerned.

"Doll you okay? You don't look too good"

You waved him off. "I'm fine just a stomach bug"

Carisi didn't seem too convinced and Barba wasn't having it.

"Y/N you look like your going to pass out. I'm not putting you on the stand like that" he said.

"I'm fine" you reassured them but the world seemed to be spinning.

You felt yourself sway as you grabbed onto Carisi's arm.

"Y/N?"

It was the last thing you heard before everything went dark. ------------------------- You woke up to the sound of monitors and lights chatter.

You were in a hospital.

You groaned and cursed your weak stomach.

Right then Carisi walked in with an unreadable expression.

"Hey," you said tiredly.

He looked nervous. "Hey"

Something was up.

"Am I gonna die?" You said worriedly.

He let out a light laugh. "No, you're not"

He looked at you uneasily.

"Okay, then what's wro-"

"You're pregnant"

Your mouth went open. "What?"

No. This was bad. You couldn't be pregnant.

Carisi nodded sheepishly.

Your hand went to your stomach in shock.

"Oh my God."

At that moment the last person you wanted to see burst through the door.

"You're awake!" Fin said. He looked worried and concerned.

Carisi looked at you waiting for direction.

"Carisi can you leave us?"

He nodded as he gave you a quick hug before leaving.

"Barba and Carisi told me what happened at the courthouse," he said.

You looked at him for the longest time trying to figure out how to break the news.

"I should have seen you weren't well" he continued.

"I'm pregnant" you blurted.

There was a second of silence but to you, it seemed like an eternity.

"Is it-"

"Yes."

Fin was in shock. He looked at your face and then your stomach and then your face again.

"Are you gonna keep it?" He asked quietly.

You sighed. You hadn't thought about it that far yet.

"I don't know. I mean it was unexpected and I don't think you want another kid right now and I don't know if I can handle it"

He looked at you with something you could quite read.

"It wasn't just a one-night stand for me." He said quietly.

You looked at him in surprise.

"What?" you said quietly.

"Look I've had feelings for you for a while now and then that happened and you didn't seem interested in me so I let it go" he explained as he sat beside you on the hospital bed.

That's why he seemed disappointed when you had told him to forget about it.

You didn't know what to say. Or how you felt. You had worked with Fin as his partner for a couple of years and came to care about him deeply but not like that.

"Fin.."

He grabbed your hand, "I get if you just think of me as just a friend but I just needed for you to know"

This was too much.

"Fin. Look to me you are just a friend but I am going to keep the baby. We can raise it together but I just don't like you like that."

He smiled sadly. "Alright I got you"

You felt terrible for crushing his feeling but you simply didn't feel the same way.

"Well, are we gonna tell the squad the news?" he asked with a grin.

You smiled as you rubbed your stomach.

"Of course"