#brief thoughts

-Currently reading Mazaltob by Blanche Bendahan, 1930. Haven’t gotten too much into it but it’s really interesting so far. Some of the language confuses me and I wonder if the translation I’m reading is entirely accurate. What was the language it was originally in again? (Language I can also read) oh. well. I’m not gonna pay for another copy. Anyway, I’ve been reading a lot of Yiddish lit and I wanted to branch out and oh man… what a great place to start I’m liking it so far. I might write a full review at some point. I’m a very slow reader right now because of migraines :/

-Having a lesbian Rabbi is life changing like I’ve had great rabbis of all sorts but it’s just so different when she not only understands where I’m coming from as a Jewish woman and a gay woman but also shows that it’s possible to be in a loving Jewish lesbian relationship. After having a resurgence of internalized homophobia last year, this change has been really refreshing even if I know I’m leaving soon.

-Every time I read a book about Judaism I’m like “ok interesting” and I go online and half the reviews are like “this book doesn’t even mention Judaism once!” and the other half are like “this is literally the Bible of Judaism” what!!!

-Reading Emma Lazarus again… if you need a summary of my mental state..,

-Trying to mold Judaica-inspired clay pieces but I’m not good at molding clay. At all. It’s a process and I’ll get better but woof it’s been rough so far. At least they aren’t shattering while baking

To live as my most authentic self in 2025.

I think I did it. I started a server for others who enjoy things like me. I got to meet so many of my mutuals.

They mention the number 6 at least twice in 506 which connects to Heartbreaker, ep6 of the series, where buck chokes during his date with abby and she has to give him an emergency tracheotomy.

When they first find the injured guard they actually say that he has a crushed trach. They also make mention multiple times in 506 that the guard “can barely breathe” and is “fighting for every breath” and is “choking on his own blood”. I can’t stop flashing back to buck frozen solid in the street when eddie got shot and likely not breathing much bc of the shock and terror. It’s fascinating too that in 106 when he choked and stopped breathing it was actually bc he was so distracted by his romantic/sexual attraction to abby and was quite nervous about starting something serious with her.

It can’t be a coincidence that buck had romance-induced breathlessness and needed a freakin’ tracheotomy in 106 and now this guard who feels parallel to buck also has an injured trach in 506 and can’t breathe. Of course in 506 all the breathlessness is not overtly romantic but it feels like it’s a factor, in addition to all the shared trauma ofc. This whole season is about matters of the heart so far so these loose but meaningful links don’t seem too far fetched to me.

Once they are on their way to the hospital with the injured guard, mitchell tells buck and eddie to “make sure the guard doesn’t die in here” or something to that affect. With buck parallel the guard, eddie parallel mitchell, and the ambo as a symbol of what’s going on in eddie’s own mind and heart, it all really just solidifies my sense that eddie is trying to get buck out of his mind/ heart bc he doesn’t want to drag buck down with him or otherwise get buck tangled up in his psychological and emotional mess a la the 503 break up. It’s eddie’s mess now and his brand of misery runs from company. Hence the pointed distance between them.

A piece of Cramp Twins fan art I did from around 2011-12, in which I would depict Wayne and Lucien dressed as the members of French electronic group Daft Punk. While this was from my student years, and I’m moving pass these fan pieces from that time, there’s a reason why I’ve gotten around to posting this on here.

Sad news, oh this is nothing to do with these uncertain times. I've just learnt that Daft Punk have broken up. This is probably a shock to you as it is to me. When it came to electronic dance music, they were my favourite duo in that field, without any doubt. Their blend of sampled and original beats are what showed how you can be transformative with any song and add your own creative spin on it. My love for house music might be attributed to them and their music was the soundtrack to many people's youth. Despite their futuristic appearance, their music was able to speak to different generations. But what I also appreciated is that they wanted to recognised for their sound and not how they looked liked. 

I learnt not to be upset that something was over, but to be glad it happened and lasted for so long. I'm uncertain of what the future of house music holds, but I know that Thomas and Guy were masters of their craft. I'm eager to know how these two are going to take their separate ways but I say this without exaggeration that I'll miss them more than any duo in my life. 

Made in 2011-12

Done in Ink, Felt Tip and Coloured Pencil