#bridge jumping

BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, THIS IS NOT A CALL FOR HELP

I just really want to jump off a bridge

Like I WANT to live

but i also want to jump off a bridge

And if I could jump off one without dying?

Mascarat Gorge, Calpe bridges pendulum jump. Nick Fletcher (featured), Graham Murray & myself team participation). South Spain. Rock climbing trip to Calpe. Photo by Tom MacDonald 1996.

I jumped from a bridge. it was sort of bungee jumping, only it was free fall over the danube, unfortunately i don’t have any video/pic of it :D  and it was EPIC, tells the girls scared of heights. thanks to blackcurrant wine and hot weather and also a can of a black bear to help with fear, i decided it is time to actually do it. i’ve been watching people jump for last 3 years, i decided, that this time i could join them. i am a member of this lovely european youth organisation called AEGEE that connect youth all over europe via quite cheap 2 weeks lasting holidays organised by its members for its members. so the atmosphere is always cheery and patry-like and during the days there are cultural and local themed program events and during night there are parties till 3-4am, and bratislava has this “plus-paid” experience, where you jump from bridge over danube to conquer your fears and feel the adrenaline. this year there was this brutally scared spanish girl who cried a lot so i felt like supporting her and jumping as well. at first everything was great, and it looked super easy, just hold only ropes, so you don’t hurt yourself and take a step. but then i started to get up on the railing and the moment of jump itself was much closer and standing up there on few centimeters of railing of bridge that crosses the biggest river of europe and its like 18 meters above water and the fear and insecurity came. and while standing there and cursing myself, seeing myself with broken head or as a flat fatty spot on a bottom side of concrete bridge, i just decided “fuck it, i’m here already. i can either make the step into nothing and feel it survive like thousands before me or get down on my own and fear it forever” and believe me, i would and i also would regret it forever. so i made the only controllable thing while falling - the first step. and after what felt like one horrible second full of horror and terror and fear it was awesome! it was flying and it was fun and i laughed and screamed and i flew. i am definitely doing it again. getting over your fears is the best feeling ever. i am no harry potter to fear only fear itself. i fear failure. i DREAD failure, so i rather don’t take risks and keep regretting things in my life because it is safer and easier. and this, this was literally freeing experience! already feel braver and more capable to do anything. even finish the stupid scientific paper-y work i have to write for school (not really to be actually published unless i could make it really epic).