#breakmebucky

               “Yield.” Loki demanded as his knife rested against the thin flesh of her throat. He smirked as his gaze traveled from her throat down to where her chest was heaving from the intensity of their sparring.

               “You first.” She replied, tapping her knife against the inside of Loki’s thigh, just over an artery.

               Loki pulled his gaze from the exposed skin above her collar and looked down the length of their bodies to where her knife was resting and then tilted his head slightly.

               “Clever.” He mused. “Very clever.” His fingers twisted in her hair and pulled her head back further, baring more of her neck to his knife. “But I would cut your throat before you’d ever have a chance to cut my femoral artery.” He grinned down at her and added, “So again…Yield.”

               “You should pay more attention.” She replied, pressing the tip of her other knife into the soft flesh in dip of Loki’s hip just enough to make its presence known. “That’s an aorta. You’d be dead in less than seven seconds between the two, Loki.” She added. “So, again…you first.”

               Loki inhaled sharply as the tip of the knife brushed against the sensitive skin over his aorta. The combined sensation of the cold metal on his skin and the vision of him pinning Y/N to his body stirred something in Loki and he released her before dropping his knife and raising his hands in surrender.

               “I yield.” He acquiesced. “You win this time, Y/N.”

                 “Ha!” Came a thunderous laugh from the other side of the training facility. “She has bested you, brother!”

               “Thor!” Y/N squealed, sheathing her knives and bolting across the mats towards him. She jumped as soon as she reached him and Thor caught her and supported her weight as she wrapped her legs around his middle and her arms around his neck in a full body hug. “I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow night!?”

               “It is the third Thursday of the month.” He replied, as if that explained anything. “It is movie night.”

               Y/N squealed as Thor spun her onto his back and grabbed her calves before giving her a piggy back out of the gym.

               Loki looked away, partly in disgust though mostly in jealousy. He was used to his brother getting everything he wanted for himself. First their father’s love, then the throne, and now…you. Loki would have said goodbye, but he didn’t want to interrupt the obviously long awaited homecoming between his brother and Y/N. He watched them leave and departed the gym shortly after, heading towards his room.

               He considered not joining the rest of the team for the monthly movie night, but eventually decided against it. His place on the team was still very much in flux and the undercurrent of tension between himself and some of the members was one suspicious activity away from explosive conflict. Loki flopped onto the end of the couch furthest from the others and offered a tight smile, which was returned before they returned to their previous conversation.

               “Scooch over, Rudolph.” Y/N joked before sitting down close enough to Loki that their hips touched. “Unless you want your brother in your lap.”

               “If I had to choose, it would not be him.” Loki responded dryly before sliding to the end of the couch as his brother crashed down on the other side of Y/N and dropped a bowl of extra buttery popcorn in her lap. She doesn’t evenlike that kind. Loki thought to himself as he rolled his eyes and tried to turn his attention to the movie and away from his oaf of a brother who had draped his arm over Y/N’s shoulder and was gently rubbing his thumb across her arm.

               “Excited for the mission tomorrow?” Y/N asked halfway through the movie, leaning over so Loki could hear her whisper.

               “Hmm?” Loki asked, turning away from the screen to look at Y/N. He flushed lightly when he realized how close her face was to his own. “Ah, I’m not on the mission for tomorrow?” He replied, his words equidistant a question and a statement.

               “Oh, I guess they didn’t tell you yet.” Y/N whispered again. “Steve needs Bucky on a different mission, so you’re stuck with me and Bruce.” She offered him a small smile and then added, “It’s just a quick intel sweep. In and out. One day, max.”

               “What are we whispering about?” Thor asked, leaning his full weight on Y/N as he tried to insert himself in the conversation. His action forced Y/N’s upper body into Loki’s lap, eliciting a groan from the smaller man.

               “Ugh.” Y/N groaned, shoving against Thor with a laugh. “We’re talking about the mission tomorrow. Now get. Off. Of. Me.”

               Thor laughed and pulled himself off of Y/N and pulling her into his side. Loki watched as Y/N rested her head on his brother’s chest and settled back in to watch the movie. Normally, the casual affection expressed between Thor and Y/N was simply irritating to Loki. Lately, however, he found himself getting more and more upset by it. Jealousy was not a foreign emotion to Loki, but he had never felt it quite like this before. He had never had the desire to have the attention of a singular person as deeply as he desired to have Y/N’s. He wasn’t sure quite why he craved her specifically or why his desire had recently gotten stronger, but Loki was sure that he couldn’t sit there and pretend to watch the movie anymore. Without making any excuses or saying goodnight, he left the common area and disappeared to his bedroom.

                 Loki didn’t remember falling asleep the night before, but he was awoken by the sound of someone knocking adamantly on his door.

               “Go away or I will skin you alive!” He shouted with a sleep heavy voice.

               “I’ll take my chances!” Y/N called back as the electronic lock beeped and she entered his room. “Come on, Rip Van Winkle, it’s mission time.”

               Loki looked up from the small mountain of pillows on his bed and shook his head.

               “No.”

               “What do you mean, No?”

               “I’m not going.”

               “Honestly, mood. But also, you have to.”

               “I am a God. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to.”

               “Loki Laufeyson, get up before I drag you out of that bed.”

               “You wouldn’t dare.” Loki challenged with a small grin. He barely had time to register the acceptance of his challenge before the covers were suddenly whipped off his bed, leaving him completely exposed. A laugh bubbled up from his chest and filled his room at the sound of Y/N’s surprised squeal and the sight of her slamming her eyes shut and turning her back.

               “Damn it, Loki. You could’ve warned me!” She said with an embarrassed tone to her voice. Loki sat up and stretched before using his magic to put his clothes on.

               “I thought you were going to drag me out of bed.” He teased, grabbing his boots from under his bedside table.

               “You’re not funny.” Y/N shot back. “I will absolutely drag you out of that bed and make you go on the mission in your birthday suit.” She huffed and turned back around to face him. Loki noticed a small twinge of something that looked like disappointment cross her face and he grinned wickedly.

               “Yes, I’m dressed now.” He pointed out. “Sorry to disappoint.” He stood and closed the gap between himself and Y/N and reached out to push her hair behind her shoulder. “But if you’d like another look, I’d be happy to oblige.” His voice dropped an octave and he sensed the uptick in her heartbeat as well as the soft gasp that left her lips at the contact between his fingertips and her clavicle. Loki looked down at the woman with playful confusion, unsure if she was really reacting to him the way he thought, or if he was just imagining it.

               Y/N cleared her throat and took a step back before fixing her usual confidence on her face.

               “I’m good. Let’s go.” She said, hitching her thumb towards the door. “Bruce is waiting in the Quinjet.”

               “Of course he is.”

                 Loki spent the five hour trip in the Quinjet trying his absolute hardest not to either upset Bruce or lose his mind at the close quarter’s he found himself in.

               “You know, we didn’t need to fly. I could have just gotten us there already.” He pointed out from his spot in the back of the jet.

               “Full offense, Loki, but I don’t trust you or your magic.” Bruce replied as he brought the jet around and landed it gently on a strip of tarmac. “Besides, we need to establish an uplink between our system and whatever is left here.”

               Loki watched as Bruce turned to Y/N and asked her something, which she appeared to brush off as she slung her light tactical harness over her hips and clipped it into place.

               “You ready, Houdini?” Y/N asked with a grin as she opened the bay door of the jet and stepped out onto the hot asphalt. The difference in pressure pulled the hot air into the jet and sent Y/N’s scent directly into Loki’s face, causing the God to shift uncomfortably as his blood rushed from his head.

               “Let’s just get this over with.” Loki shot back, gritting his teeth and stepping out of the jet. The door closed behind them and Loki surveyed the land before them.

               “The scans say the building is empty. Well, empty of people anyhow.” Y/N explained as she began to cross towards the planted field that separated the tarmac from the abandoned base. “We’re picking up electrical readings, so hopefully there’s something in there that can give us an idea of why a team of twenty scientists and well trained soldiers suddenly and mysteriously abandoned the base.”

               “Remind me why I’m here again?” Loki scoffed, stopping at the edge of the field and watching Y/N cross through the plants.

               “Because I needed backup and I trust you.” Y/N replied, turning to shoot Loki an expectant look. “Now come on.”

               “I’m waiting on you.” He replied, calling to her from the other side of the field as he used his magic to skip actually walking through the strange plants. He caught the sound of Y/N’s laughter and saw her shake her head before she began to jog towards him. She slugged him in the shoulder playfully before they finished the trek to the abandoned building and then went inside.

                 It took less than ten minutes to figure out why no one had ever been seen evacuating the building. There, sprawled out amongst rotting food and dusty furniture, lay the corpses of five people; their flesh seemingly melted from their bones.

               “Oh god.” Y/N coughed, pulling her shirt up and over her nose in an attempt to mask the foul odor. “What happened to these people?”

               “There’s been no fire, but they look as though they were burnt.” Loki pointed out, pulling his knives from the dimensional space where he stored them. Something deep within him was screaming that they were in danger and that they should leave immediately. “We should not be here.”

               “Come on.” Y/N replied, pulling his wrist gently as she continued deeper into the building. “Let’s get the link established and get out.”

               Loki nodded and followed her as they continued on towards the mainframe, passing more burnt corpses along the way. There were no signs of how these people had died, just their flesh melted from their bones. It made Loki uneasy and he very nearly called the mission off and transported himself and Y/N out of the cursed building; but they reached the mainframe before he had a chance.

               “Please, do hurry.” Loki insisted as he watched the door for any signs of danger. Y/N immediately got in contact with Bruce and the two of them began to work on setting up the link.

               They were nearly done when Y/N suddenly began to fan herself with one hand. She pulled down the zipper of her bodysuit and groaned.

               “Loki…” She called, now gasping for air. “I don’t feel so good.” She turned to face Loki and he saw her forehead beading with sweat moments before she slid out of the chair and collapsed to the floor unconsious.

               “Y/N!” Loki exclaimed, diving to the floor to check her. His hand slid over her head and he pulled back in shock at the intense heat that radiated from her skin. Bruce could be heard over the comms, demanding for either of them to answer him. Loki snatched the receiver out of Y/N’s ear and fitted it into his own.

               “Bruce, I-I don’t know what’s happened.” He spoke, pulling Y/N’s head into his lap. “Y/N just collapsed. She’s burning up. We’ve got to get her back home.”

               “I agree.” Bruce stated, “But you need to finish that uplink first.”

               “Damn the link, you giant asparagus! Y/N is ill!” Loki shouted, not caring if he upset Bruce anymore.

               “And I need the uplink in case it’s something in the building, Loki!” Bruce snapped back.

               Loki growled in annoyance before removing his cape, balling it up, and gently moving Y/N’s head off of his lap to rest on it.

               “Tell me what to do then!”

                 Loki and Bruce quickly got the link established and Loki gathered Y/N up in his arms gently before using his magic to transport the both of them back to the ship. Bruce was already waiting with all the cold packs from the first aid kit. He cracked them and both he and Loki packed them against Y/N’s major arteries.

               “We don’t have enough to last five hours, but we’ve got to try.” Bruce mentioned before taking his seat and getting the jet back in the air.

               Two hours into the return trip home and there were no more ice packs remaining. Loki watched as Y/N’s temperature crept higher and higher, noted by the insistent beeping of the machine tracking her vitals. He could hear Bruce explaining the situation over the comms and the sounds of the other teammates as they tried to figure out how to get everyone home safely. Loki looked down at Y/N and wiped the beading sweat off of her cheek with his hand. A shudder ran through her body and the vitals showed a momentary downtick in her temperature before it resumed its growth.

               “Curious.” Loki muttered to himself, looking down at his own hand. It wasn’t until he really looked that he realized that his skin had taken on a bluish tint. Loki pulled his sleeve up and realized that the tint continued up his arm, disappearing under the cloth. He lifted the hem of his shirt and still more blue-tinted skin appeared. “Of course.” He said, exasperated with himself as he stripped himself of his shirt and began to remove Y/N’s extra layers.

               “What the hell are you doing?” Bruce’s voice demanded from the front of the jet as Loki stripped Y/N down to the thin undershirt she wore under her tactical gear. “Why are you blue?!”

               “I’m keeping her alive until you get us home.” Loki replied, scooping Y/N off the floor of the jet and cradling her in his lap against his cold chest. “Just focus on flying!”

               Bruce looked ready to argue, but the machine tracking Y/N’s vitals began to register a steadily decreasing temperature. His mouth snapped closed and his attention returned to the task of flying the plane.

               “Just hang on, Y/N.” Loki mumbled, pressing his lips to her temple. “Just hang on.”

               Two and a half of the remaining three hours passed with Y/N’s temperature steadily lowering before Loki felt her stir in his arms. Her eyes cracked open and he immediately noticed that the pupils had overtaken the color that he so enjoyed looking at.

               “You feel so good.” She murmured, tipping her head back to simultaneously rest on Loki’s shoulder and bare her throat. “I’m burning up.”

               “I know.” Loki replied, pressing his cool cheek to her warm one and trying to fight the urge to nip at the soft flesh she was offering. “You were exposed to something in the building.”

               “It’s so hot.” She whined, not listening to a word he said. “I’m going to burn up like the others.” Loki’s pupils widened as Y/N grabbed his hand and slid it under her shirt to rest over her heart. His fingers molded over the rounded flesh of her breast and he felt the nipple harden into a peak instantly, pressing firmly into his palm. “Can you feel it, Loki?” Y/N mewled pitifully. “I’m going to burn to death.”

               “I’m not going to let that happen.” He told her in a strained voice as he fought to control himself. “We’re going to get you back to the compound and Stark will fix you.”

               “I can’t last that long.” Y/N whimpered, pressing herself closer to Loki and causing friction in his pants. “I need you to fix me, Loki.” She whispered, pressing her feverish lips to the place just below his ear. “You can fix me, right?” Her hand dropped from his wrist and slid between their bodies before palming at Loki’s clothed cock. “I saw what you’ve got. I pretended not to, but…I saw.” Her voice filled with lust and her body began to warm again. “I bet you can fix me right up, can’t you?”

               Loki growled deep in his chest and, with great self-restraint on his part, he pulled his hand from under Y/N’s shirt and then removed her hand from between his thighs.

               “You just had to go into the field.” He scolded, realizing what Y/N had been exposed to. “Don’t worry, you will be back to my brother soon enough. He can fix you.”

               “No,” Y/N whined, turning on Loki’s lap to face him. “He can’t fix me.” She shook her head adamantly. “He can’t give me what I need.”

               “If his track record with maidens is anything to go by, I assure you he can.”

               “You don’t understand.” Y/N argued, shaking her head again. She tucked her face into Loki’s neck and licked a stripe across the cool flesh, causing him to shudder. “I need you, Loki.”

               Loki’s fingers gripped Y/N’s hips and he pulled her down flush into his lap. The warmth from between her thighs radiated through both of their pants as Y/N began to grind on Loki’s lap. His cock strained painfully in his trousers and his lip disappeared between his teeth as he struggled to keep himself from taking Y/N right there on the floor of the jet.

               “You’re so fucking warm.” He murmured against her skin, burying his face in her shoulder to disguise his grunts.

               “I’m warmer inside.” She teased, grabbing his hand and leading it to the top of her pants. “Go ahead and see.”

               Before Loki could accept the invitation, Bruce was landing the plane and the medical team was there separating the two of them and taking them to the Quarantine wing.

                 “It’s been hours and we can’t bring her temperature down.” Tony explained. “The cradle isn’t going to last much longer and putting her on ice won’t work.” He turned to Loki, who was once again dressed, but was still turning blue and continued, “Between Y/N burning from the inside, and you turning into a Smurf, I think it’s safe to say the both of you were exposed to something.”

               “I wasn’t exposed to anything.” Loki replied, rolling his eyes.

               “I don’t know if you’ve notice, but you’re doing a solid impression of a blueberry, Reindeer Games.”

               “I am well aware.” He shot back with a glare. “This happens on occasion.”

               “And how often is on occasion?” Tony demanded.

               “There is no need to worry. Once every year, Loki experiences his birthright.” Thor supplied as he strode into the medical facility, unaware of the serious situation that Y/N was in. “It is mating season for the Frost Giants!”

               “Mating seas- you know what? I don’t have time to make a joke about that right now.” Tony said, shaking his head. “Thor, when you initially scouted the facility did you notice anything weird?”

               “Weird? No. Nothing weird.” He replied. “Unless you count the fields.”

               “What’s weird about the fields?” Tony asked, his jaw clenching in annoyance.

               “Oh they are full of Libidine plants.” Thor said as though that explained anything. “It’s quite rare to see so many in one place and even more rare to see them on Midguard.”

               “Libidine Plants?” Bruce interrupted. “But libidine means lust in Latin. Why would a plant be called…”

               “Yes.” Thor confirmed the unspoken question. “Their pollen is a potent aphrodisiac. That is why I volunteered Loki to go with Y/N. So he could magic them past the fields. She would burn alive from her own body heat if she were exposed to the pollen.”

               “She was.” Loki interrupted.

               “I’m sorry, what?” Thor demanded, rounding on his brother. “You allowed her to be exposed to concentrated libidine?! How foolish are you, brother? Where is she?!”

               As if on cue, the quarantine wing filled with the sound of Y/N pained scream and her pleas for someone to help her. Thor was down the hall in a matter of seconds with Loki on his heels.

               “Thor, wait.” Loki said, trying to reach his brother before he opened the door. He was a second too slow and Thor threw open the door to Y/N’s room before immediately shutting his eyes and turning his back on the nearly naked woman. “I tried to warn you.” Loki pointed out.

               “How long has she been like this?” Thor demanded.

               “Eight hours, maybe nine.” Tony cut in, having finally caught up to the brothers.

               “You have to help her.” Loki told his brother. “You know what has to be done. She’s not going to last much longer. She will spiral into madness if you don’t help her.”

               “I cannot help her.” Thor confessed, looking at his brother in distress.

               “You would let her die?!” Loki pressed. “You spend all your time fucking her already, but now, when she actually needs you…you won’t do it?”

               “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We don’t do that.”

               “Save your lies, brother.” Loki hissed. “I have watched you with envy for months. I know you are lovers.”

               “We are not lovers.” Thor insisted. “She is a comrade. Her heart belongs to another.”

               Loki was about to call Thor out on his bullshit again when Y/N suddenly threw herself at him.

               “I knew you would come back.” She moaned, as her hands slid up Loki’s chest. “I need you to fix me, Loki.” Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt as she danced from one foot to the other, burning with need. “Please, please, please, please…” She begged, abandoning the buttons and sliding her hands up either side of Loki’s face. “Please, Loki.” She murmured before pressing her lips to his.

                 Loki felt something surge in his chest and his fingers found purchase on the backs of Y/Ns thighs before he lifted her off her feet and wrapped her legs around his middle. He barely acknowledged the departure of the others as he allowed himself to fall into the rapture that was Y/N’s lips on his own. Loki’s arm swept across a nearby table, sending glass and paper crashing to the floor. He lay Y/N on the now bare surface, thus freeing his hands to pull at the remaining clothing on her body. The clothing fell away like wet tissue paper under his icy strength, leaving Y/N bared entirely for Loki’s consumption. A strained sound came from Loki’s throat and then his hands and lips were roving hungrily her body, drawing the most lascivious and beautiful sounds from her as he explored. He slid his hand between her open thighs and traced two fingers through her sopping folds, spreading the flesh there.

               “By the Gods,” He breathed in amazement. “You’ve been suffering longer than I thought.” His fingers swirled around the sensitive bud at the peak of her heat and a hungry grin graced Loki’s lips as he witnessed the way Y/N began to come undone.

               “Please, Loki.” Y/N mewled, bucking her hips against his hand, desperate for more friction. “I need…”

               “What do you need, Y/N?” Loki pressed. “Tell me.”

               “I need more. I’m burning.” She gasped, moving one of her hands to her own slickness to try and get more friction.

               Loki pinned her errant hand to the table by the wrist and slid the fingers of his other hand deep into her in a fluid series of motions. Y/N cried out and gripped Loki’s forearm with her free hand as he began to pump his fingers into her. Loki’s hunger grew as he watched Y/N squirm on the table and felt her clench around his fingers. Just when he thought her cries couldn’t be any closer together, Loki curled his fingers up and pressed them into the sensitive place within Y/N. Her back arched and she called out his name, her walls clenching around his fingers as she rode out her orgasm.

               Loki pulled his fingers from within Y/N and cast his eyes over to the screen that still displayed her vitals. Her body registered a large drop in temperature and Loki smirked.

               “We can do better than that.” He growled before pulling his straining cock free from his pants and discarding the garments somewhere else in the room. He gripped his base and swiped his tip through the intense warmth of Y/N’s core before pushing forward and sheathing himself completely inside her. Loki attached his lips to Y/N’s and swallowed the gasp that his intrusion had summoned. He stilled inside her for the briefest moment, trying to allow her to adjust.

               “Fuck me…” Y/N whispered against his lips. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

               Her words spurred Loki on and his fingers grabbed her hips in a bruising grip before he began to piston his hips in and out of her. The table screeched in protest as their fucking caused it to scoot across the tiled floor. Y/N’s screams of bliss filled the room as Loki slammed into her over and over again. He lost himself in her warmth and the feeling of her wrapped tightly around him. He lost count of the number of times her fingers or her teeth dug into his skin and her cunt clenched around his cock. Their escapades moved from the table, to the wall, to the bed, and finally to the floor when the bed gave out. Loki littered Y/N’s flesh with hickies and bites, each more fervent and needy than the last. He felt his pleasure coil tightly in his belly and he bent down to kiss Y/N once again, but then felt her lips moving against his own in a whisper of words.

               “What’s that, darling?” He asked between thrusts. Loki felt Y/N’s hands twist into his hair and she brought his ear to her lips before repeating herself.

               “I love you.”

               The coil in Loki snapped and his vision whited out as he spilled himself deep inside Y/N with a groan. Loki collapsed to the side of Y/N and drew her into his embrace as they both fought to catch their breath. Loki’s eyes searched the room for the screen with Y/N’s vitals on it, finally finding it overturned on the floor about five feet from their naked forms.

               “We were successful.” Loki noted, pointing to the numbers that indicated Y/N’s temperature had fallen to a normal level.

               “Mmm.” She hummed beside him. “You can say that again.” Her fingers crept across Loki’s chest and he turned his gaze to meet her own. He had never seen the look she held in anyone’s eyes before. Not directed at him, anyhow. There was something deep and consuming in her gaze that set Loki’s heart racing again. He opened his mouth to ask the question nagging at him, but changed his mind when he felt Y/N shiver against him.

               “Are you cold now?” Loki asked. When she nodded, he simply waved his hand and they were suddenly in his darkened room buried in the mountain of pillows and thick blankets on his bed. “Is that better?”

               “I can see why you don’t want to leave your bed in the morning.” Y/N replied, pulling the blankets up higher on them both and curling further into Loki’s embrace. “These are the softest sheets I’ve ever felt.” A yawn escaped her and she covered her mouth until it passed. “Sorry…so sleepy.” She hummed softly.

               “No apology necessary, love.” Loki replied, feeling sleep tugging at his own mind. Before he let himself fall into a blissful slumber next to the woman he cherished beyond all others, he had to rid his mind of the continually nagging question.

               “Y/N…”

               “Mmm?” She hummed in response.

               “Did you mean it?”

               “About your sheets?” She asked sleepily. “Absolutely. These are the softest sheets I’ve ever felt.” There was a joking air to her words, but they still didn’t hit Loki right.

               “No.” Loki sighed, his previous elation taking a stumble. “Never mind…” He felt Y/N shift and turned to see her staring at him with her chin propped up on her palm.

               “Loki,” She said softly, reaching out to push his hair back off his face. “Yes, I mean it. I love you.”

               Loki felt her lips brush his own and his heart swelled again at the soft contact. He cupped her jaw and deepened the kiss, licking along her bottom lip until she parted her lips and allowed him to delve deeper into her mouth. Their tongues explored each other’s mouths for another minute or two before breaking away in a series of smaller kisses. Y/N settled back into Loki’s embrace and he carded his fingers through her hair as she began to drift to sleep.

               “I love you too.” Loki whispered when he thought she’d fallen asleep finally.

               It all started with an innocent question. A nondescript box sitting on the kitchen island with an equally nondescript note attached.

               “This is for everything you’ve done.” The note read. A smiley face for a signature and nothing else.

               “What’s in the box?” Steve asked as Y/N entered the kitchen where he and Bucky had been about to chug some post-workout shakes.

               “Who’s it from?” She answered his question with another.

               “Not sure. Just says ‘This is for everything you’ve done.’ with a smiley face.” He explained as he cut the tape on the box. Bucky and Y/N exchanged alarmed glances

               “Steve no!” Bucky and Y/N shouted at the same time as Bucky nearly vaulted over the island to knock the box out of Steve’s hands. A blue powder exploded from the box and covered both his and Steve’s faces and clothes before settling onto the floor and seeming to vanish.

               “Biological Contaminant Detected.” FRIDAY’s voice rang through the complex. “Lockdown initiated.”

               Darkness swallowed the frozen scene as the blast shutters slammed shut over the windows and the silence was pierced by the sounds of the entire complex going into full lockdown. The generator kicked on as well as the internal HVAC system that would purify and recycle the air in the compound so as to not risk the contaminant being released into the atmosphere. The emergency lighting that lined the floors and ceilings of the compound lit up and cast an eerie orange glow over the still frozen inhabitants of the room.

               “Steve you fucking idiot.” Bucky groaned as he finally moved himself off of his friend and tossed the box as far away from them as possible.

               “I thought it was a thank you from a fan or something.” Steve said, his voice soft with shock and the realization of the stupidity of what he’d done.

               “What…what do we do?” Y/N asked, still frozen where she’d been when Bucky and Steve had gone hurtling over the island with the mystery box.

               “Containment procedure says we-ah!” Steve suddenly grabbed at his chest as if something had struck him. “We need to…oh god…” His face flushed, unseen in the orange glow, and he looked over towards Bucky in horror.

               “Y/N. You need to go.” Bucky said. His voice was low and heavy with an emotion Y/N hadn’t heard before. She took a step towards the pair and they both held out a hand to stop her. “NO! Don’t...don’t come any closer to either of us.” Bucky managed to get out before his hand also flew to his chest.

               “Lock yourself in the lab. Radio for help.” Steve groaned out as his hand slid down his chest until he was palming himself through his sweatpants.

               “What the fuck is going on?!” Y/N shouted. She had been working in the lab with Bruce for a while, just trying to learn more of the sciencey-technical side of the team, but even with her masters in Biology and her extensive training and knowledge of biological weapons, she’d never heard of one that would produce this kind of reaction.

               “Go!” Steve reiterated, his voice on the edge of a growl.

               “NOW!” Bucky added, fighting to not bring himself to his feet. When Y/N still didn’t move, he kicked a chair into the wall behind her for encouragement. It worked and she was suddenly dashing down the hall, cursing Steve and his unwavering trust in the human race.

               Y/N hadn’t even made it halfway down the hallway when the sound of both men echoed off the walls behind her.

               “Wait, Y/N!” Steve called from the doorway. “Don’t go. I forgot to tell you something.”

               “Steve?” Y/N asked as she continued to slowly back down the hall towards the elevators. “What did you forget to tell me?”

               Steve braced himself against the doorway and a breathy laugh fell from his throat.

               “You smell so fucking good.” He answered. Steve turned his head as Bucky found his way to the threshold as well and asked, “Doesn’t she smell so fucking good, Buck?”

               “Steve, no.” Bucky growled out in warning, his vibranuim hand crushing the frame of the door as he fought to keep control of himself. “Y/N. Go. Now. Run.”

               She didn’t need to be told twice. Y/N dashed down the remainder of the hall as the sounds of a struggle broke out behind her. She had just made it into the elevator when the hall filled with the sounds of both men running after her. The doors shut just as they reached them and Y/N was able to catch a brief glimpse of both of their faces; a glimpse of two sets of normally blue eyes that were drowned in the black of their pupils and filled heavy with need.

               “What the fuck?” She kept repeating to herself as she hit the button that would take her to the floor the lab was on. “What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?!”

               The wall to her left erupted in the sounds of thundering footsteps that moved faster than the elevator did and Y/N stared in horror as her brain pieced together what she was hearing. Both Bucky and Steve were racing down the stairwell to beat the elevator to its stop. They were literally chasing her like wild animals. Y/N knew there was no way she could ever outrun them, not with their enhanced abilities. But she was clever and she was smart and if there was a chance of her making it to the lab to call for help, it lay in her ability to outsmart them and to hide from them.

               With time running out and the elevator nearing its destination, Y/N made the split second decision to hit the buttons for all the remaining floors before climbing on the handrail and forcing the hatch at the top of the elevator open. She heard the steps falter two floors below her as she shut the hatch behind her and waited, crouching on the elevator and trying to avoid the cables. The steps began to echo closer as the elevator closed its doors and descended another floor before stopping once again.

               “Where are you, Y/N?” Bucky’s voice shouted from the floor above her.

               “We’re not going to hurt you.” Steve assured from inside the elevator before his steps moved back into the hallway.

               One floor and she would be in the clear. One floor and she’d have a chance at getting to safety. She shifted in anticipation as the elevator dinged and the doors moved to close, but her shifting must have sounded like thunder to the enhanced super-soldier hearing of Steve’s ears because the elevator doors were suddenly blocked and they opened again, allowing him to enter the small space again.

               “I know you’re around here, Y/N.” He said, his voice growing darker every minute. “We just need to talk. We need to see if you’ve got it too. We need you, Y/N.”

               “Please, Y/N.” Bucky’s voice joined Steve’s below her and it was all Y/N could do not to scream. “We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

               Her foot slipped and she watched through the grate of the hatch as two pairs of blackened eyes looked up and made contact with her own.

               “There you are, little mouse.” Bucky grinned. “Come down. We won’t hurt you.”

               “Just let me go to the lab.” Y/N replied. “You’re sick and you need help. Both of you. I can help you, but I need to get to the lab.”

               “You’re right.” Bucky replied. “You can help us.”

               The hatch was knocked open suddenly and Steve’s hand wrapped around Y/N’s ankle before pulling her feet out from under her and throwing her onto the floor of the elevator. Her scream was cut short as the wind was knocked out of her, but she quickly recovered and kicked Bucky’s feet out from under him before making a dash out the door. Her brain was running through rapid-fire split-second decisions and without a clear memory of how she got there, Y/N suddenly found herself curled into a ball at the bottom of a supply closet just down the hall from the lab.

               Bucky and Steve could be heard in the hall, calling out for her and growing both more irritated and needier with each word.

               “Y/N, please.”  Bucky whined. “I just need to see you.”

               “Sweetheart, Bucky’s right. We just need to make sure you’re okay.”

               “Come out, please, Doll.”

               “We just wanna make you feel good.”

               “Wanna make you feel so good, baby.”

                 One pair of footsteps stopped outside the door to the supply closet and Y/N bit her fist to keep herself from audibly whimpering. She still had no idea what was happening to her friends and, although she had dreamed of them saying the things they were saying now –both separately and together– it was the darkness in their tone that set her on edge. A hand rested on the doorknob and time felt like it slowed to a crawl as Y/N watched the handle turn. The door opened and Bucky stared down at her, his shirt soaked in sweat and his cock standing at attention.

               “There you are, love.” He crooned lowly before grabbing her by the arm and yanking her up off the floor. He shut the door behind her and then pushed her against it before rubbing his cheek against her own. “Been looking for you everywhere, Y/N.” He pressed his hips forwards and ground his cock against her stomach as his hands slid up her arms and came to rest, one cold against her neck and one hot gripping her jaw and turning her head to the side to expose her neck. There was rush of air as Bucky inhaled her scent deeply and then choked out the exhaled breath. “Steve’s right. You smell so fucking good.”

               “Bucky, please.” Y/N plead softly. “Just let me get to the lab and I can help you.”

               “Shh.” Bucky’s hand on her jaw shifted until he was pressing a finger to her lips. “I just want to taste you.”

               Warmth flooded Y/N’s body when Bucky’s lips pressed against her own. The kiss was gentle at first, as though some humane part of him still resided inside and had control. But then his tongue was inside her mouth and the kiss grew into something needier and wilder. The hand at her throat squeezed just enough to start the coil in Y/N’s core tightening and then she felt his other hand fighting with the button of her jeans. Y/N pulled back and her hands flew to Bucky’s fumbling fingers.

               “Bucky, no.” She gasped out against his mouth. “Not like this.”

               “I just wanna make you feel good.” He insisted, swatting her hands away and popping the button of her jeans off with a quick tug. Bucky silenced Y/N’s protests with another devouring kiss as his hand slid past the band of her underwear and his fingers delved into her folds.

               “Oh fuck…” Y/N moaned, breaking away from Bucky’s mouth again as her head fell back against the closet door and her hands struggled to find something to grip onto. Bucky pressed first one and then two fingers into her and pumped them in and out with purpose, until Y/N was panting heavily and gripping his arm tightly. “Bucky….feels so good. Oh, fuck…I’m gonna…”

               “That’s right.” Steve’s voice sounded from behind Bucky. “Come all over his fingers, baby.”

               Y/N’s eyes snapped to Steve’s face and then to his hand, which was pumping his own cock furiously as he watched Bucky bring her ever closer to the edge. Something about watching Steve stroking himself while Bucky fucked his fingers deeper and faster into her sent Y/N over the hill and crashing down in bliss.

               Bucky pulled his fingers out of her and brought them to his mouth, languidly licking her juices off and moaning as he did so. His hand on her throat released her and Y/N slid to the ground in a panting, unfocused mess. Steve was there to catch her and he laid her out right there in the hallway before the sound of her pants being shredded filled the corridor. The sudden chill on her skin brought Y/N back to her senses just in time to feel Steve line up with her entrance and slide into her. A gasp ripped itself from her chest and Y/N’s back arched at the sudden feeling of fullness.

               “Oh god. You’re so fucking tight.” He groaned as he sheathed himself completely in her warmth and then stilled. “So fucking warm and soft.” He slowly pulled out of her, almost completely, before bucking his hips and slamming back inside with force. Steve pulled out once more and then drove into her quicker and quicker each time, drawing moans and gasps from Y/N as she dug her fingers into his shoulders.

               “You gonna come for me, baby?” Steve asked, his voice heavy and dark. “You gonna come all over my cock?” He pushed himself deeper into Y/N’s warmth and she yelped as a sharp pain shot through her.

               “Steve, don’t. That hurts.” She whined. “Not so hard.”

               Steve didn’t seem to hear her because he kept slamming harder and harder into her until a scream tore form her throat and she came a second time, though under less pleasurable circumstances. At the sound of her scream, Bucky’s hands suddenly gripped Steve’s shoulders and wrestled him off of Y/N, pulling him free with a wet pop as his cock slid out of her.

               “Play nice, Stevie!” Bucky growled before he took Steve’s place inside Y/N’s warmth. As he filled her, a moan fell from his lips and he pressed his forehead to hers. “Fuck, Doll.” He breathed. “I-I don’t think I can stop. You feel so fucking good.” Bucky’s lips collided with Y/N’s again as he began to fuck into her with gusto, pulling a combination of moans and whines from her lips.

               The both of them were pushed over, still coupled, until Bucky was on his back and Y/N was straddled atop his hips.

               “Steve, no.” Bucky warned. “She’s not ready.”

               “Then share.” Steve groaned.

               Y/N’s head cleared enough for her to realize what the two of them were talking about and her eyes widened in trepidation.

               “My-my mouth, Steve.” She stuttered out. “Use my mouth.”

               “Oh, FUCK…” They both groaned simultaneously.

               Seconds later and Y/N was choking on Steve’s cock as he thrust eagerly into her mouth. She could taste the brine of herself mixed with the salt from Steve’s skin and between that and the realization that her deepest fantasy was suddenly her reality, Y/N came for the third time. She felt Bucky dig his hands into her hips, bruising the skin for sure, as his thrusts stuttered and finally stilled inside her. He painted her walls with heat as he came inside her, though she had no time to relish the sensation because Steve was suddenly gripping her head and slamming into the back of her throat, grunting as he thrusted away. Y/N felt his release coat her mouth and slide down her throat as he came with a loud groan before sliding out of her mouth and sinking to the floor beside her and Bucky.

               “What…the fuck?” Y/N panted after she was able to catch her breath finally. She slid off of Bucky’s lap, whining slightly as his fullness left her, and pushed herself away from both men. After a moment of silence, she finally pushed herself off the floor and used the wall to help herself stand. Neither Steve nor Bucky seemed to be coherent enough to explain, or even notice as she slowly backed away from them and made her way down the hall towards the lab, pulling Steve’s discarded shirt over her head in an effort at modesty. The emergency communication line was flashing rapidly, lighting the room with brief blasts of red light, as she hit the switch that would seal her inside the lab. As Y/N stumbled over to the communicator, the reality of the last few hours rushed over her and reduced her to a shaking sobbing mess as she pressed the button that would open the com-line.

               “HELLO?!” Sam’s voice urgently flowed over the open line. “Anyone there?!”

               “Yes…” Y/N whispered before sobs overtook her again.

               “Y/N!?” Nat’s voice this time. “What happened? Are you guys okay?!”

               “Box…light blue powder…I don’t…” She croaked out between sobs. “Bucky and Steve…I couldn’t run…it was fine and then…”

               “Stay there.” Nat ordered. “We’re just waiting for FRIDAY to finish cleaning the air and open the doors.”

               “Lock the lab.” Tony’s voice now. “It’s reinforced. Even Banner couldn’t break in.”

               “I did.” Y/N said, choking as she gasped for air. “I…can’t…breathe…”

               Suddenly the room was hot, the walls were closing in and, no matter how she tried, Y/N couldn’t catch her breath. She couldn’t escape the feeling that what was left of her clothes was suddenly too much, even Steve’s loose shirt. Her own skin felt like it was burning, like she just needed to get out of it. She needed help. She needed them. Her body suddenly craved the touch of skin on skin. She needed to feel them –both of them– on her, inside her, all over her.

               The com-line faded into indistinct chatter as Y/N’s instincts took over the rational part of her brain and she made her way back to the doors. She overrode FRIDAY’s programming and the doors slid open with a soft whoosh. Bucky and Steve were still at the end of the hall, though they seemed to have recovered as they had both pulled their pants back up and were looking around at the remnants of Y/N’s clothes. As soon as the doors shut again, both men turned their eyes to Y/N, who was slowly striding towards them, tugging off the powder covered shirt as she made her way down the hall.

               “Is this what it felt like?” She whined, gripping the edge of her tank top and discarding it and her bra just as quickly. Y/N’s hands slid over her now bare skin and dug into the softness of her own breasts, leaving tiny crescent shaped indentions in the tender flesh. “I’m sorry I ran and hid. I didn’t know.” She looked up at the duo with pleading eyes and begged, “Please, help me?”

               “Y/N?” Steve questioned cautiously, before spying the blue powder that had rubbed off his shirt and into her hair. “Bucky, she’s…”

               “I know.” Bucky’s voice was clipped and strained. They both seemed unsure what to do, now that the drug had burnt its way through their enhanced immune systems. They were fine after one release, thanks to the serum. But a typical human? The drug would burn its way through her until she went mad or her heart gave out. Bucky had experience with the drug, thanks to his time as a hydra asset, and even his enhanced stamina hadn’t always been enough to fully satisfy or save the unfortunate women that had been experimented on throughout the development phase. There was no telling which phase this particular dose came from, which scared Bucky right to his core.

               “You can do it.” Steve said, reluctantly. “She likes you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you in the gym.”

               “No. It’s okay. You can do it.” Bucky answered, though his expression didn’t match his words one bit. “I’ve seen the way you two are in the kitchen. Her laugh is genuine.”

               “For fucks sake, you’re both pretty. I like you both.” Y/N growled. “Please just touch me before I crawl out of my fucking skin.” Her words ended in a whine as she gripped the wall and pressed her thighs together desperately.

               “Choose.” Bucky said, his voice growing desperate at the sight of her.

               “We’ll help. Just…just choose.” Steve agreed.

               Y/N’s eyes flashed with need and her hand that wasn’t gripping the wall slid down between her thighs.

               “I don’t want to choose.” She said, her voice dripping in sin. “That’s why I haven’t.” A gasp and a moan fell from her lips as she delved into her own warmth and began to try and ease the ache herself. “I don’t want to choose…” she repeated as she slid to the floor, her legs falling open and exposing her dripping cunt to both Steve and Bucky. “I need you both. I want you both.”

                 Sometime between their second and third orgasms, Steve and Bucky managed to collect themselves enough to move the party out of the hallway. Y/N protested, her body still shaking from the drug coursing through her veins, but she quieted down as soon as Bucky was buried deep in her again as he pressed her back against the elevator wall. He carried her, still coupled with him, into Steve’s room as Steve held the door open and trailed in after them.

               After another hour of both men fucking her in tandem, filling her in every way possible, Y/N’s fever began to finally subside and she collapsed into a boneless heap between Bucky and Steve on the bed. The three of them lay there panting in a tangle of arms and legs, as soft kisses were passed between them and bites and bruises were washed over with gentle caresses. As Y/N curled into Steve’s chest, she felt Bucky curl against her back and press his lips to her shoulder gently.

               “How are you feeling, Doll?” He asked softly, murmuring the words against her skin, which erupted in goosebumps at the sensation.

               “Better.” Y/N hummed just as softly. “So much better.”

               “C’mere.” Steve mumbled as he cupped her face delicately and brought his lips to hers. The kiss was sweet and gentle and so very Steve that it left a smile on Y/N’s face when they parted. A smile that quickly shifted to a frown when Steve spoke again. “Sorry, I just wanted to kiss you properly before this is all over.”

               “All over?” Y/N questioned. “I don’t understand…”

               “You should choose-”

               “Steven Grant Rogers.” Y/N said sternly. “I said I’m not choosing between you two.” She pushed herself up to look him square in the face before continuing, “So, unless you’re going to tell me this isn’t something you want, then it’s not over.”

               “We’re with you, Steve.” Bucky added, sitting up enough to look at Steve from over Y/N’s shoulder. “Both of us.”

               “Whatever you choose.” Y/N agreed.

               Steve hesitated a moment as he blinked back tears and stared at the two people he loved the most in the world.

               “Until the end of the line?”

               “Jesus, there you are!” Y/N exclaimed, moving across the balcony towards Bucky.

               “I don’t think I’ve ever been called Jesus before, doll.” Bucky replied with a smirk. His eyes scanned his teammate and his brow furrowed when he recognized the mild panic in her features. “What’s wrong?”

               “I need your help.” She replied.

               “Where’s the body?” Bucky asked, setting his whiskey on the table to the side of the swing and standing. His expression shifted from concern to confusion when Y/N began to laugh hysterically. “What?” He asked.

               “Bucky! There’s no body.” Y/N gasped out in between laughs.  She reached out and pushed Bucky back onto the swing while trying to collect herself and then dropped onto the swing next to him. Y/N reached over and passed Bucky’s drink back to him. “I just need your help with something. But it’s not a body.” She shifted in the swing so she was facing him and added, “Not that I’m not grateful that you’d help me hide a body. I think that speaks volumes about our friendship.”

               The word stung Bucky in a way he didn’t know a word could. Friendship. That was what they had, despite his continuously growing feelings for Y/N. They had started out as just teammates but, after being partnered up together on a lot of missions, they had” grown into friends. There was a familiarity and an easiness to their interactions, usually.

               “I’d help you hide a body any day, doll.” Bucky said, pulling himself out of his own head again. “But what did you need right now?”

               “I need you.” Y/N replied. Bucky’s face must have shown his shock and confusion because she quickly explained herself. “What I mean is, I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. Just for the night.”

               “Y/N…” Bucky started.

               “Is it too weird? It’s too weird. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry, Buck.” Y/N quickly backpedaled as she stood and made to move away from the swing. “I’ll ask someone else.”

               “No!” Bucky exclaimed, a little too eagerly, as he reached out and caught Y/N’s hand in his own. Her hand was soft and warm in his and he quickly focused back on her request. “I know you better than anyone else, doll. I’ll do it.”

               Y/N grinned widely and squeezed Bucky’s hand.

               “Not even curious why?” She asked, helping Bucky stand.

               “You can explain it to me later.” He replied, following her towards the door. Bucky’s breath caught in his chest as Y/N laced their fingers together and looked up at him one more time. He nodded down at her and turned on what Y/N called his Prince Charming personality.

               Y/N led Bucky over to a group of girls he vaguely recognized as Y/N’s college friends. They had been to a few of the parties before and Y/N usually got together with them a few times a month when she was in town. Bucky knew a little about each of them, but he didn’t bother learning much after finding out how fiercely competitive they were with one another. The girls were always trying to one up each other and, because of the time commitment and danger of her job, Y/N seemed to be at the bottom of the totem pole lately. More than once, Bucky had listened as she complained about the women that were supposed to be her friends. He understood why she maintained her relationships with them, though he far from agreed with it. They were her only connection to a world that didn’t revolve around the tower, or missions, or her job. They were they last bastion of normalcy in her life, even if they were a shitty one.

               “Oh, Y/N!” The self-appointed leader, Kristy, cooed as Bucky and Y/N joined the group. “Is this the mystery boyfriend you keep talking about?” She asked, eying Bucky as she swept her blonde hair behind her shoulder.

               “Bucky.” He introduced himself as he took Kristy’s hand and kissed her knuckles briefly. “It’s so nice to meet you, Kristy. Y/N talks about all of you so much. How is your husband doing?” Kristy’s face flushed and she smirked as she pulled her hand back.

               “Robert is out of town.” She replied.

               “Again?” Bucky asked, unable to stop himself from being snarky. “He sure goes out of town a lot.”

               “Well,” Kristy huffed. “He’s a very busy man.” Her smirk dropped and was replaced with a sour expression as she turned her attention from Bucky to Y/N. “Come with me to get a drink?” She asked with a forced smile.

               “Uh…okay.” Y/N replied. She turned her face towards Bucky and asked, “Are you going to be okay without me for a minute?”

               “Of course, doll.” He replied, bending down just enough to place a small kiss on her cheek. “I’ll be right here when you get back. Relax, doll.” He murmured in her ear before straightening up again. Bucky could have sworn Y/N’s face flushed as she was pulled by Kristy to the bar.

               “Don’t worry about Kristy.” Another woman spoke up, pulling Bucky’s attention back to the group of catty women, who were all staring at him as though he was a piece of meat. “She doesn’t like being told she can’t have something, if you catch my drift.”

               “Well, I’m with Y/N, so I’m not available.” Bucky replied, taking a sip of his drink.

               “I’m sure.” The woman replied, mirroring his actions. “My name is Kaitlyn.” She added.

               “Ah, yes. You just came back from a trip to India, right?” Bucky asked, trying to ignore the way Kaitlyn continued to mirror his actions. “How was it?”

               “Well,” She began, stepping forward. “I learned all about the Kama Sutra. I could show you, if you’d like?” She reached a hand up to run it down Bucky’s chest, but he caught her wrist before she could touch him.

               “As I said before, I’m committed to Y/N.” He stated flatly as he let go of her wrist. “You know, your friend?”

               Kaitlyn stepped back with a matching sour expression to the one Kristy had worn moments ago.

               “Of course.” She replied. “You must forgive me, I’ve had a bit to drink tonight.”

               Before he could call her on her bullshit, Y/N and Kristy returned. Bucky immediately slid his flesh arm around Y/N’s waist and gripped her hip tightly before repeatedly running his thumb over the bit of exposed flesh between her jeans and her top. He felt her jump slightly and looked down to see her cheeks covered with a light dusting of pink again. One that wasn’t from the drinks. He leaned over and kissed her temple before speaking lowly into her ear again.

               “Your friends keep trying to bring me home.”

               Bucky watched as Y/N’s face flushed again, though this time he knew it was from anger. She forced a smile as the group began to talk again. Bucky chuckled and squeezed her hip again before adding,

               “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do it.”

               “Good.” Y/N replied, tilting her head to speak into Bucky’s ear. “Because then I’d really have to kick your ass.” Bucky was suddenly aware of the gradual loss of space in his pants as Y/N breath fanned over his neck when she spoke. Something about the undertone of possessiveness in her voice made Bucky both curious and very warm.

               “I’ll be back, doll.” Bucky said before releasing Y/N’s hip and disappearing towards the bar. He leaned against it and tried to calm his growing situation by thinking of anything else.

               “So,” Nat spoke, startling Bucky as she came up behind him at the bar. “You and Y/N look...cozy.” She grinned as she passed him a glass and poured more whiskey into it. “Who are the hyenas?”

               Bucky looked across the crowd again at Y/N’s horrible excuse for friends and rolled his eyes at their fake laughter and smiles. He could see the discomfort in the way Y/N shifted her weight and the tenseness of her jaw. Whatever was being said, it wasn’t friendly in the least.

               “College friends of Y/N’s.” Bucky replied, making air quotes when he said the word friends.

               “That bad?” Nat asked, pouring herself a shot of vodka.

               “Bad enough that Y/N asked be to pretend to be her boyfriend in front of them.” He explained.

               “That’s what you’re doing over there?” Nat questioned incredulously. When Bucky nodded, she snickered and shook her head.

               “What?” Bucky asked, annoyance tinting his voice.

               “It’s just…you’re not being that believable.” Nat replied. “A hand on her hip, a kiss on the cheek? Are you her boyfriend or her begrudging prom date?”

               “Well what am I supposed to do?” Bucky demanded. “Make out with her in front of everyone?”

               “I wouldn’t go that far, but you could at least kiss her like you like her.” Nat returned. “Since, you know, you actually do like her.”

               “I never said-”

               “Save it, Barnes. You like her, it’s a fact.” She looked towards Y/N and then back at Bucky before adding, “You should probably go back over there now.”

               Bucky turned to look back at Y/N and saw her shifting her weight ever so slightly and fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. She was nervous and irritated, he could tell.

               “Thanks, Nat.” He called over his shoulder as he left the bar and moved through the crowd towards Y/N and her friends. He was steps away when their conversation stopped him in his tracks and he hung back to listen.

               “You know,” Kristy’s drunken voice slurred. “The two of you don’t really seem like a couple. I think you’re lying, Y/N.”

               “What?” Y/N asked, trying to disguise the panic in her voice. “Of course we’re a couple. Why would I lie about something like that?”

               “Because you’re just not…” Kristy began, waving her hand in the air as if she could magic the words out that way.

               “Right?” Kaitlyn offered.

               “Yes!” Kristy exclaimed. “You’re just not right for someone like him.”

               “I mean, we get it. You’re embarrassed because you’re almost 30 and don’t have someone to go home to at night.” Kaitlyn interjected. “I mean, I’d totally pay someone to lie for me if I was you.”

               “But you can totally tell us the truth.” Kristy jumped in. “Bucky and you aren’t really a…thing. Right?”

               Bucky had heard enough to make him want to throw the two catty women out on their asses. He appeared on Y/N’s side and shot a glare at her drunken friends.

               “We are absolutely-” Y/N began, but Bucky swallowed the rest of her words as he suddenly pulled her face to his and pressed their lips together. He felt the little hum of surprise from Y/N before her lips began to move against his. Just as her hands came to cup his jaw, he pulled away with a cheeky grin.

               “Sorry, Doll. I just missed you.” He knew he might have to explain himself later, but it was worth it to see the look on the other women’s faces. He turned to them and said, “It was lovely meeting you both, officially, but I need to steal my girlfriend away now. Have a good night.” Before they could respond, Bucky pulled Y/N through the crowd by the hand and down a hallway that was also off limits to the public. He turned to face her, as soon as they were out of sight of the party, and tried to discern her expression. She just stood in front of him, her hand to her lips, and a look of shock across her face.

               “Y/N, I’m sorry. I heard what they were saying to you and I just-”

               “I really like you, Bucky!” Y/N suddenly blurted out, interrupting Bucky’s apology. He swallowed the rest of his words in surprise.

               “What?” He asked, recovering as quickly as he could.

               “I like you.” She repeated, dropping her hand from her mouth and making eye contact with Bucky. “More than a friend.”

               Bucky grinned and reached out to pull Y/N closer to him.

               “I really like you too.” He replied, bringing his lips almost to hers.

               “More than a friend?” She asked in a whisper.

               “Way more.” Bucky replied before closing the distance and capturing her lips in a kiss that began slowly but quickly built to something feverish and needy. He grunted as she pushed him into the wall behind him, not breaking their kiss. Bucky ran his hands down her sides before sliding his flesh hand up her back, relishing the feel of her skin under his fingers. He reached the strap of her bra and his fingers searched for the hooks, with the intent to undo it, when she grabbed his arm and pulled away.

               “Not here.” Y/N said. She jerked her head upwards and explained, “Cameras.”

               Bucky groaned, the tightness in his pants nearly excruciating, but he knew she was right. He followed her down the hall and into the elevator, both of them wearing ridiculous grins as Y/N pressed the button for Bucky’s floor. As soon as the doors closed, Bucky rounded on Y/N again and smashed his lips into hers. He swallowed a yelp of surprise that came from her throat when he suddenly gripped her thighs and lifted her off her feet. He swallowed the moan that fell from her lips when he pressed her back against the elevator wall and ground his hips into hers. The elevator stopped and the doors opened just as Bucky began to trail his hungry kisses down Y/N’s jaw. He gripped her thighs tighter and walked the both of them out of the elevator before somehow managing to open his door and carry her through the threshold. Their lips connected again as Bucky kicked the door closed behind them and then carried her over to his bed.

               Y/N laughed as Bucky pulled at her shirt with one hand, not having set her down yet.

               “So needy.” She giggled before pulling the fabric over her head and tossing it recklessly onto the floor.

Bucky gently tossed her onto the bed and her giggles dissolved into moans the moment he knelt between her legs and began to make his way up her torso with his lips. The needy kisses were broken up with equally needy nips of his teeth, the latter of which made Y/N jump each time. When Bucky reached Y/N’s bra, he realized that the closure for it was in the front, which would explain why he couldn’t find it in the hall earlier. He hooked his fingers under the clasp and looked up at Y/N, his eyes blown with need.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked. “We can stop.”

“Bucky?” Y/N gasped out.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sure.”

That was all the encouragement Bucky needed and with a swift motion, he popped the clasp open and exposed Y/N’s breasts to the cool air of his room. His hands quickly replaced the fabric of her bra and he gently squeezed the soft flesh before capturing one of her nipples in his mouth and teasing it to a peak. His fingers moved to the other nipple and he rolled it between his cool metal digits until it was as firm as the one between his lips. He let go of her nipple with a pop and glanced up to see Y/N’s face flushed and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she tried to swallow her moans. Bucky smirked before attaching his mouth to her other nipple and sliding his hands down her skin until he reached the top of her jeans. He popped the button open and slowly pulled the zipper down.

“Bucky…” Y/N whined.

“Yes, doll?” He asked, releasing her nipple and beginning to kiss his way back down her abdomen. His fingers gripped the waistband of her jeans and he grinned against her skin as his lips stopped just above the now undone jeans.

“Please…” She squealed softly as she squirmed beneath him.

“Please what?” Bucky teased.

Y/N raised her hips in response and Bucky’s face was suddenly pushed into her fabric covered core. He growled as the smell of her aching need became overpowering and folded his senses.

Bucky looked up at her with eyes blown in lust, and tugged her jeans and panties off her legs. He tossed the fabric to the floor before hooking his arms under her knees and gripping her thighs tightly. Bucky used this new position to his advantage as he pulled Y/N closer to him and sucked bruising marks onto the delicate flesh of her inner thighs. Her moans and the feeling of her fingers gripping at his hair only served to spur Bucky on more and he moved his mouth closer to the sweetest part of her.

“Fuck.” Bucky breathed. “You’re dripping, Doll.” He lowered his mouth to her core and lapped at her slowly and deliberately, bringing her ever closer to the edge of bliss.

“Bucky…Bucky…” Y/N moaned as her fingers twisted in Bucky’s dark hair. Her breathing had quickened to the point that Bucky knew she was close.

“Hmmm?” He hummed against her, purposely pressing his lips against her clit as he did so. He traced his name against the swollen bundle of nerves and, as he finished the last letter, Y/N let loose a strangled cry of bliss. Bucky held her hips down as her legs began to tremble, and then lapped up his reward greedily. Once Y/N had stopped shaking, Bucky came up from between her thighs, his scruff glistening with the evidence of her pleasure. He’d thought about this moment when he was alone, but the vision of Y/N naked and panting on his bed was better than he could have ever imagined.

Suddenly, Y/N pushed herself up to her knees and reached for the hem of Bucky’s shirt.

“Too many clothes, Buckaroo.” She growled in his ear before pulling the fabric over his head and throwing it away from them.

They were attached at the mouth again in a moment and Bucky groaned as she pulled his bottom lip between her teeth and raked her nails down his chest. When she palmed his straining erection through his jeans, Bucky thought he might explode right then and there.

“Y/N…” He moaned as her lips released his own and began to suck dark marks into his neck. He felt her push his jeans and boxers down, and barely had time to register the sensation of the cool air against his skin, before she gripped his throbbing cock in her hand and began to pump it as she made her way down his chest. Bucky grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away.

“You okay?” Y/N asked, pulling her face away from Bucky’s chest so she could look him in the face. “If it’s too much…”

“I’m not done with you yet.” He explained with a smirk before kicking his jeans off and pulling Y/N’s back into his chest. His flesh hand twisted into her hair and pulled her head to the side, baring her neck for his mouth to mark. As he left bruising kisses and bites along her neck and shoulder, Bucky’s metal hand snaked its way between Y/N’s thighs and he pressed his index and middle finger to her sensitive clit. Y/N cried out again and ground her hips against Bucky’s hand, trying to get more friction. He obliged happily and slid his two fingers into her wetness and rubbed her clit with the heel of his palm, effectively cupping her core.

“Oh God!” Y/N moaned as Bucky began to pump his fingers into her. One of her hands flew up to grip the back of Bucky’s neck while the other clung tightly to his bicep, leaving little half-moon indentations in the flesh there.

“Mmm.” Bucky hummed against her neck. “You’ve called me God and Jesus in one day, doll. What’s next? You gonna call me Sir?” It had only been a joke but Bucky almost choked on his own spit when Y/N spoke again.

“I’ll call you whatever the hell you want if you just fuck me…Sir.” She gasped out, nearing her peak again.

“Bucky is fine, Y/N.” He purred lowly in her ear as he withdrew his fingers and lined himself up with her entrance. “I’d rather hear my name fall from those pretty little lips of yours.” He slid himself in to the hilt in one go and gripped Y/N’s hips to hold them both still as they adjusted to each other.

She was all warmth and soft velvety flesh around him, her walls already clenching around his length. He began to thrust into her slowly, making sure he wasn’t hurting her. When Bucky was sure she had adjusted to him, he began to pick up his pace, returning his mouth to her neck to leave more marks on the other side.

“Bucky please…” Y/N moaned in his ear.

“Please what, Doll?” He questioned against her skin as he buried himself to the hilt in her again.

“Faster.” She gasped out, pulling her hair free of his hand to look him in the eye. “Please fuck me faster, Bucky.”

Bucky pulled himself out completely before flipping Y/N onto her back and positioning himself over her, with his weight supported on his arms. He slid himself back inside her warmth and snapped his hips until he was buried again.

“I’m going to watch you come undone, Doll.” He crooned in her ear before he began to fuck her in earnest. Each thrust and snap of his hips brought the both of them closer and closer to the edge of bliss. Bucky watched as Y/N’s moans turned into gasps and finally into a small scream as she came. He felt her walls clench around him tightly and the combination of that and the vision of her beneath him sent him crashing over the edge with her. He felt his balls tighten and then he was unloading inside her, his face buried in her neck as he moaned loudly. Bucky waited until he began to go soft inside her and then pulled himself off of Y/N and laid next to her on the bed, both of them gasping for breath and well sated. After a moment, Y/N pushed herself up and swung her legs over the side of the bed before standing up shakily.

“I’ll be right back.” She said softly.

“No, come back.” Bucky fussed. “Don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving.” Y/N chuckled. “I promise.”

Bucky pouted as he watched her disappear into his bathroom on shaky legs. In the few minutes she was gone, Bucky took the time to straighten the pillows and retrieve the sheets and blankets from the floor where they’d been kicked. When Y/N returned, Bucky pulled her back down into his arms and covered her face in sleepy kisses.

He didn’t remember when they’d fallen asleep, or who’d fallen asleep first, but it was late morning by the time Bucky woke up again. He stared down at Y/N, who was curled into him, and a boyish smile broke out across his mouth. It hadn’t been a dream. She liked him as much as he liked her and now he knew it. The thought of her returning his affection made his heart swell and that was before he thought back to last night and another part of him began to swell in response.

“Don’t stare at me while I’m trying to sleep, creeper.” Y/N teased quietly before her hand came up to sleepily swipe at Bucky’s eyes in an attempt to close them.

Bucky grabbed Y/N’s hand and brought her palm to his lips as a deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, disturbing Y/N’s attempt for more sleep again. She sighed, in playful defeat, before propping her chin on Bucky’s arm and giving him a drowsy smile.

“Mornin’, Doll.” Bucky whispered, letting her hand go.

“Mornin’, Buckaroo.” Y/N replied while trying to stifle a smirk. She slid her hand down Bucky’s chest until it disappeared beneath the blankets.

Bucky gasped as he felt her grip his already hard cock.

“Thank you.” Y/N grinned as she began to pump him slowly.

“You shouldn’t thank me.” Bucky moaned. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Screw that.” Y/N replied, sliding her hand down his length to cup his balls and give them a light squeeze. “I’m going to thank you and if you don’t say ‘You’re welcome’, you run the risk of being rude.”

               “Same costume!” You exclaimed, gesturing from your silver-painted arm to his. “Except yours is way quality! That’s so awesome! How did you get your arm to look so realistic-oh my god it’s not a costume.” Your face paled as the man raised his arm and ran a hand through his hair. The plates in his actual metal arm shifted fluidly and your jaw dropped. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I thought…I just…Oh man.”

               “It’s okay.” The man chuckled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “It’s not the first time tonight.” He assured you with a gentle, reassuring, smile.

               “It is Halloween.” You replied, taking a brief second to reset. You returned his smile and then asked, “So, what can I get started for you on this festive night?”

               The man looked up at the menu board and was silent for about five minutes before a shadow of distress crossed his chiseled features. He turned his baby blue eyes back to you and gestured to the menu.

               “This all looks so extraneous.” He began. “Can I just get a simple black coffee? Medium roast, if you have it.”

               “You most definitely can.” You answered. “Decaf or regular and what size?”

               “Decaf isn’t coffee. It’s juice.” He joked, crinkling his nose. “Just a small regular coffee, please.”

               “Okay, one tall medium roast coffee coming up.”

               “Sorry, I actually asked for a small.” He clarified.

               “Oh, yeah.” You nodded. “The small here is called a tall.” You explained.

               “Wha-?” His face shifted into comic disbelief. “What kind of system is that? It doesn’t make any sense.”

               “I agree.” You laughed as you passed him his coffee. “I had the same question the first time I ever came here.”

               “Coffee shouldn’t be so difficult.” He added before taking a sip. His eyes closed and the corners of his lips curled upwards, making his eyes crinkle in the corners. “It should just be simple and delicious like this.” He said as he opened his eyes again.

               “Well, I’m glad you like it.” You replied. “Have a good night.”

               “Actually,” He began. “Is it alright if I just sit here until Trick or Treating is over? I’d rather not venture back out there right now.”

               “Of course.” You smiled. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like or until I have to close, whichever comes first.”

               “Thanks.” He said with a nod as he took a seat at the table nearest to the counter. “I’m Bucky, by the way.”

               “Y/N.” You introduced yourself. “It’s nice to meet you Bucky.”

               “The pleasure is all mine.” He returned while flashing you another charming smile. “And your costume is really great, by the way.”

              Bucky couldn’t do it; not again. He couldn’t bring himself to watch the last recording of the girl who’d been there for him since her first day. The girl who had never been afraid of him, even when he nearly killed her in a PTSD moment. The only person, other than Steve, who hadn’t judged him on his past, but only on his character now. He couldn’t watch as the digital copy of her face ran through so many of his favorite expressions that he would never again witness in person. He couldn’t watch her smile, tired and resigned to her fate, as she spoke directly to him. He hadn’t even been able to make it to his part of her farewell video. He knew if he watched it, if her listened to her say things meant only for him, he would lose the weak shred of hope he was clinging to and she would really be gone forever. If he listened to her say goodbye-if he accepted it-then her body really would be buried in the debris. She would really be trapped under hundreds of thousands of pounds of twisted metal and concrete and not unconscious in a hospital somewhere. If he listened to her goodbye, then the effort being exerted at the site really would be a recovery mission and not a rescue mission.

              Bucky found himself in the gym again, his lungs screaming every time he drew a breath. He smashed his fist into the punching bag repeatedly, willing his brain to think of something; anything other than the image of her bloody, worn face. Anything other than the anguish glittering behind her eyes as she spoke into a camera…as she died slowly and alone. His thoughts drifted, thankfully, onto the first time he’d met her and away from the thought of the video waiting for him in the other room.

-          -

              “Everyone, this is Agent L/N. Agent L/N, this is everyone.” Tony introduced a young woman to the team.

      Bucky looked up from his crossword book for the sole purpose of matching a face to the name they’d been hearing for months. Apparently, Agent L/N was joining the team. She, like Natasha, had been one of twenty-eight girls in the Red Room. Nat had immediately vouched for her when her name first surfaced in the Intel community, all those months ago. From the information they had uncovered, it appeared that Agent L/N had been working towards the same goals as The Avengers, and had made significant progress, despite having markedly less resources.

      “Y/N is fine.” She replied, giving the team a small wave and what was meant as a friendly smile.

      Bucky’s eyes scanned the woman standing before the team and he noted the tension held in her muscles and the rigidity in her stance. Though a smile crossed her face, Bucky’s training easily marked it as a false one. She was on guard and looked ready to disappear at any second.

      “Hey, L/N.” Bucky spoke up, pulling her gaze to his face. “Relax. No one here is going to kill you.” He shot her an amused smirk before turning back to his crossword puzzle. “Not today, anyway. It’s our day off.” He joked.

      There was a moment of silent tension in the air after Bucky spoke and then the silence was broken by a real laugh. Bucky looked away from his puzzles again as Agent L/N took a seat in one of the armchairs in the common area. The tension from before disappeared and she fell naturally into conversation with the others, visibly relaxed and comfortable now that the ice had been broken by Bucky’s dumb joke. She glanced up at him and smiled gently when they made eye contact before turning her attention back to the conversation with Nat and Steve.

      Shit. Bucky thought.

      That was a smile he could get used to.

-          -

              Bucky was pulled back into the present with the feeling of his right hand hitting the punching bag and his left missing it, followed by a loud thud as the bag flew into the wall behind it. A noise of annoyance let his mouth as he moved to get a new bag so he could continue working out and hopefully be able to pull his thoughts away from the tragedy waiting to swallow him up. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way. Not about her. He had fought so hard to keep her contained in a platonic role, but it had all been useless in the end. He hadn’t been able to fight it any longer and now she was gone. She was gone and he was in so much pain.

              Bucky obliterated a second punching bag and abandoned the gym with an irritated growl. It wasn’t working anymore. The walls felt like they were getting closer and closer and he couldn’t stand it. Grief pricked in the bridge of his nose and he pinched it away in annoyance; refusing to cry yet. As he passed the weight bench, another memory flashed into his mind, mercifully belaying the anguish that was just on the edge of his heart for a moment more.

-          -

              It was several weeks after her arrival, at three in the morning, when Bucky was first alone with Y/N. He’d been trying to sleep for hours with no success and had decided to go work out to hopefully exhaust himself and send him to dreamland. No sooner had he stepped off the elevator, than he heard soft grunts coming from the gym. Bucky peeked in through the window and saw Y/N halfway up the thick climbing rope. Hand over hand, she pulled herself up the rope, soft grunts falling from her lips as she did so. Bucky quietly entered the gym and moved over to the weight rack.

              “Bucky?” Y/N’s questioning voice drifted down from the top of the rope.

              “Yep. Don’t mind me.” Bucky answered with a nod as he sat at the weight bench and began to do some bicep curls with one of the heavier weights.

              “Trouble sleeping or just not ready to yet?” Y/N asked as she began her descent.

              “Both.” Bucky replied, turning his eyes to watch Y/N climb back down the rope. Between the way her body moved and the soft grunts and sounds of strain coming from her, Bucky realized he would have a situation if he didn’t focus on his own workout.

                “You know, you don’t talk much.” Y/N pointed out as she crossed the mats and took up residence at the squat rack to Bucky’s right.

              “I don’t have a lot to say.” Bucky replied, trying not to pay attention when Y/N began doing weighted squats.

              “Sure…you…do.” Y/N countered, speaking between reps. “You’re clearly…someone… who thinks…about a lot. So I’m sure…you have a lot to say.”

              Bucky smiled and chanced a look over at Y/N. He immediately regretted his decision as he took in the fine sheen of sweat over her skin and the flush of her face as she dropped into another squat.

              Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Bucky internally cursed himself as he felt the situation between his thighs growing. His traitorous mind peppered in some thoughts of what Y/N might look like sweaty, flushed, and heaving beneath him and Bucky nearly choked on his own spit. He didn’t understand why his mind refused to view Y/N in the same platonic way he viewed the rest of the team, but he did understand that, whatever the reason, she would be the death of him if he got any say in the matter.

-          -

              Bucky fled the gym with his heart pounding and his lungs aching. It had been so long since he’d felt intense panic, but he knew the warning signs of an attack well. He hurried through the halls of the compound and snatched his favorite jacket from the closet before escaping out into the fading light of the grounds. He slipped the jacket over his arms and zipped it up in an effort to keep the frigid air out. As the jacket zipped closed, a small rush of air escaped it and brought a familiar scent wafting into Bucky’s nostrils. His jacket smelled like her and it made Bucky’s heart ache more. He collapsed by the reflecting pond with tears stinging his eyes and his lungs now screaming for air as another memory washed over him and he gasped for breath.

-          -

              It had been almost a year since Bucky had first met Y/N and, so far, he’d managed to keep himself in check when they were alone. He’d gotten more comfortable around her, especially in the early hours of the morning when neither of them could sleep and they would either work out together or watch terrible B-Rated horror movies and laugh at the atrocious acting.

              “Y/N,” Bucky warned. “Take it off. Now.”

              “No way.” She shot back. “Finders keepers, Buckaroo.”

              “You can’t keep my jacket.”

              “Bet.” She grinned. “I can, and I will, keep your jacket. You have like eight other jackets.”

              “That one is my favorite.” Bucky replied, taking a few steps towards Y/N.

              “What a coincidence, it’s my favorite too!”

              “Y/N, take it off or I swear I’ll do it for you.” He warned again, circling around the couch to try and trap her.

              “I mean, you’d have to catch me first though.” She challenged before clambering over the couch and darting from the room.

              Bucky grinned and chased after her, following her inebriated giggles through the halls of the complex. He heard a stairwell door burst open and then her footsteps and laughter descended the stairs.

              It didn’t take long for Bucky to catch up to Y/N. She had just run into the kitchen when he came in from the other side and snatched her up. His arms wrapped around her waist and he lifted her off her feet before depositing her onto the counter and standing between her legs to prevent her from running off again.

              “Got ya!” Bucky grinned, reaching for the zipper of his jacket. “Now give it back.”

              “No fair.” Y/N pouted, playfully slapping Bucky’s hands away each time he reached for the zipper. “You cheated.”

              “I did not, and you know it.” Bucky replied. “Now, either take off my jacket or I’ll do it for you.”

              “But Buckyyyyyyy,” She whined. “I found it fair and square.”

              “It was hanging up in the closet.” Bucky countered as he grabbed her hands and trapped them in her lap with his flesh hand. “Finders keepers doesn’t cover closets.” He reached up and slid the zipper down, his metal hand grazing over her chest as he unzipped the jacket.

              Bucky super soldier hearing didn’t miss the small whimper that came from Y’N’s throat when he touched her or the sudden uptick in her heartbeat. When he looked back at her face, he had to swallow a whimper of his own as he realized that her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and her pupils were swallowing the color in her irises. He felt her shift against his hold on her hands and he let go of her hands, before bringing both of his to her shoulders and slowly sliding the jacket from them. The jacket crumpled onto the counter as Bucky’s fingers ghosted over Y/N’s bare arms. He swallowed thickly and moved to close the space between them. His eyes traveled between Y/N’s lips and her own e/c gaze and he licked his lips, preparing himself to finally feel her against his mouth after so many months of wanting.

              “What are-?” Bucky suddenly turned his attention down to Y/N’s body as his fingers came into contact with a familiar combination of leather and metal. “Y/N, you’re wearing my tactical vest.”

              “Finders keepers.” She grinned, suddenly breaking out into giggles. The sexual tension from just a moment before dissolved like wet fairy floss and Bucky sighed before taking a step away and allowing Y/N to get off the counter.

              “Again,” He began. “Finders keepers does not apply when you take things from my closet!”

              “Well fiiiiine.” Y/N responded before quickly undoing the buckles and sliding the vest off, leaving her in just a bra. “Here.” She held the vest out for Bucky and dropped it into his hands before walking away from the stunned man. “See you in the morning, Mr. No-Fun.”

              Bucky groaned, cursing his natural ability to ruin a good moment, and grabbed his stuff before disappearing out of the kitchen. As he reached his room, he resigned himself to another night of cold showers and his own hand.

-          -

              Bucky didn’t know how long he’d been by the reflecting pond when Steve finally found him. He only knew that his flesh hand was the same temperature as the vibranuim one and he felt equally as cold inside.

               “There you are.” Steve said with relief as he sat down next to his oldest friend. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

               “I just want to be alone.” Bucky returned. “I can’t watch it, Steve. I’m not ready.”

               “Okay.” Steve said simply. “I understand.” He pulled Bucky into a hug and held him while the other man began to finally cry.

-          -

              It had been a bad night. Nothing specific had triggered it; it had just been a bad night. Bucky had gone to bed early, not feeling sociable, and had fallen into a deep, troubled, sleep. His mind was wrought with nightmares-flashes of his past actions- and he cried out in the darkness of his bedroom. He had no way of knowing that his screams could be heard clearly down the hall; nor that they would summon her to his side, concern etched in every feature.

              Bucky had awoken the second her hands touched his shoulders in an attempt to wake him. He shout out of bed, throwing her off of him and into the wall in one smooth motion. Her body left a sizable hole in the drywall before crumpling to the floor. It was like he was in a trance, unable to stop himself from snatching her up by her throat and pinning her to the broken wall.

              “B-Bucky.” Y/N choked out. “It’s…not real.”

              Hearing his name fall from her lips brought Bucky fully into consciousness and horror filled every line of his face as he became violently aware of the blood running from Y/N’s scalp, down her neck, and her fingers firmly gripping his hand. Her expression was alarmingly neutral and Bucky quickly released her before falling to the floor next to her, his chest heaving as panic set in.

              “Y/N, I’m so-” His voice trembled, unable to finish his thought before breaking into body-shaking sobs.

              Y/N pulled Bucky into her arms and tucked his head into the unbloodied side of her neck before gently hushing him and holding him tightly.

              “I know.” She whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.” She carded her fingers through his hair gently and kept whispering to him gently as he sobbed against her. Eventually she got him calmed down enough to put him back to bed before cleaning herself up in his bathroom and crawling in next to him without a word. She held him and whispered soft songs to him until he fell asleep again, clutching her sleeve like a child clutches its mother.

               Bucky tried to apologize the next morning, but Y/N wasn’t have any of it. She wouldn’t let him feel guilty for his reaction because, according to her, it hadn’t been him. No matter how many times Bucky tried to make amends, Y/N gently brushed them off and carried on as though nothing had happened.

              “You should be furious with me. You should never want to see me again. You should hate me.” Bucky told her.

              “Oh?” Y/N asked. “Well, I’ve never really been a fan of ‘should’, if I’m honest.” She offered a small smile to Bucky, who just stared at her in wonder.

              “I almost killed you.”

              “Almost only counts in explosives.” She countered. “Besides, it would take a lot more than that to kill me.”

              “Why aren’t you angry with me?!”

              “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”

              Bucky paused. He was angry with himself and he hadn’t stopped to ask himself why Y/N not being just as angry bothered him.

              “I-I don’t.” He finally answered. “But I don’t understand why you’re not.”

              “It was just a bad night, Bucky. You’re not a bad person.” She explained, giving him a hug.

-          -    

              It took two weeks before Bucky finally left his room and even then, it was only because Tony had threatened to program FRIDAY to set off an alarm every hour on the hour until he got out of bed and at least showered. As a disheveled Bucky entered the common area, he was greeted by the smell of cinnamon coffee and he very nearly broke down right there.

              “Hey, Bucky.” Sam greeted him with measured sympathy. He held out a cup of steaming coffee with a sad smile and asked, “Want some coffee? I found it in the back of the cabinet-”

              “Behind the graham crackers. I know.” Bucky said, his voice on the edge of cracking. “It’s Y/N’s.” He sat down and accepted the coffee, but didn’t drink it. He stared into the dark liquid as tears came to his eyes again. “It’s her favorite. I had to go all the way to Tribeca for it.”

-          -

              “JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!” Y/N’s voice shouted from across the kitchen island. “You absolute CLOWN!”

              “What?” Bucky asked, genuinely confused by the sudden explosion from Y/N so early in the morning. “What did I do?”

              “You. Drank. My. COFFEE.” She hissed, emphasizing every word. “My special coffee. The coffee I literally cannot find anywhere anymore. The literal LAST of it too.”

              “You mean this?” Bucky asked, holding up a mostly empty mug of what had been, admittedly, the best coffee he’d had in a long while. “I found it in the cabinet be-”

              “Behind a box of graham crackers. I KNOW!” She interrupted. “I put it there specifically to keep you and Sam from finding it!”

              “Y/N…it’s just coffee. Can’t you just get more?” Bucky asked, sipping from his mug.

              That was evidently the wrong thing to ask because Y/N’s face suddenly took on a shade of red and she sucked in a breath of air as though she was preparing to scream. Bucky braced himself for the oncoming shouting, but was thrown off course when Y/N suddenly released the breath in a choked sob. Tears hovered on her bottom lashes and she slammed her mug into the sink, breaking the handle on accident.

              “Great. First my coffee and now my fucking mug.” She swore, picking the pieces up out of the sink as angry tears ran down her face.

              Her hand slipped against the sharp edge and cut her finger, causing Y/N to hiss from the pain and then make an annoyed noise before dumping the broken mug into the trash and bringing her now bleeding finger to her mouth. She looked at the broken mug in the trash and choked up again before turning on her heel before stomping out of the kitchen.

              Bucky’s coffee was suddenly bitter on his tongue. He hadn’t meant to upset her so much. He hadn’t known how much the coffee meant to her and now here he was, swirling the last of it around in a mug.

              Bucky looked down at the amber liquid and a pang of guilt hit him. He stood up and dumped the rest of the coffee into the sink before rinsing his mug out and setting it to the side. He looked over at the trash, with Y/N’s mug sitting on top, and gently picked the pieces out of the refuse.

              “Friday?” He called out.

              “Yes, Sargent Barnes?” The AI replied.

              “I need your help.”

              It had taken Bucky and Friday nearly a week to find a shop that had the right coffee and Y/N had been upset with him the entire time, though she refused to admit it. Bucky had lost count of how many samples of cinnamon coffee he’d tasted in his search, but he’d finally found it at a specialty shop all the way in fucking Tribeca. After being stuck in city traffic twice and having to travel a considerable distance on his bike, Bucky had finally made it back to the compound. His ass was numb and his lower back was starting to ache from being in the same position on the bike for so long, but it was going to be worth it. He was positive.

              Bucky knocked on Y/N’s door gently, nervous energy running through him as he waited for her to answer.

              “Come in.” Came her voice from the other side of the door.

              Bucky opened the door and stepped into the room. Y/N was sitting on her bed reading a well-worn copy or The Art of War. She looked up from her book as Bucky walked in and offered him a small smile, though it didn’t quite sit right on her face.

              “Hey.” Bucky greeted her, suddenly unsure if his gift would make up for what had happened the week before.

              “Hey, clown.” She replied lightly.

              “Look I-” They both began in unison.

              “Sorry, go ahead.” Y/N offered.

              “No, it’s okay. You go first.”

              Y/N took a breath and then sat up straighter before looking Bucky squarely in the face.

              “I want to apologize for yelling at you last week. I shouldn’t have lost it like that. I had a rough night and I just…I’m sorry. It was just coffee. It wasn’t as big of a thing as I made it.”

              “Yes it was.” Bucky responded, crossing the room and sitting down next to Y/N. “That’s why I got you this.” He pulled a box out from behind his back and passed it to her. “I shouldn’t have drank your coffee and I’m sorry I was such a dick about it. I hope this make up for it?”

              Y/N took the box from Bucky with a confused half-smile that quickly turned into a wide grin as soon as she opened the box. There, sitting atop a bed of purple tissue paper, was a bag of the infamously hard to find coffee and next to the coffee sat her mug, which Bucky had tried his best to repair, but had somehow missed a small piece of it that he then had to replace with some clay. He’d tried his best to paint over the clay repair, but the color he’d chosen wasn’t as close of a match as he originally thought.

              “Oh, Bucky…” Y/N cooed as happy tears sprang to her eyes and fell into the box.

              “Please don’t cry. I tried to fix your mug, but I got the wrong color paint. I’m so sorry.”

              “No, no, no.” Y/N reassured him with a smile. “I love it. It’s perfect.”

              She set the box on her side table and threw her arms around Bucky’s neck to give him a tight hug.

-          -

              Bucky fell from his memories back into the present as Sam poured more of the sweet cinnamon flavored coffee into the mug he’d given Bucky. The moment the flavor spread over his tongue, tears sprang to his eyes and clung to his lashes. The taste was suddenly too much. The smell was overpowering. All of it was too familiar and too reminiscent of her. Abandoning the mug of coffee, he fled the kitchen with Sam’s apologies following him out into the hall.

              The air was suddenly heavy in his lungs and his mind was restless. As if on autopilot, his feet took him down the hall and up three flights of stairs. They carried him a familiar route; one he’d taken many times before when he was in distress. The only difference between those times and this one was that when Bucky reached his destination, there was no relief to be found. No one was waiting for him with open arms and an open heart. Her room was empty and felt foreign now.

              Bucky was suddenly filled with rage.

              “You weren’t supposed to be in there!” He shouted angrily as his hands grabbed at the nearest objects and flung them across the room.

              “I was supposed to go alone!” More of her room shattered as his eyes burned with tears.

              “How could you do this to me, Y/N?!?!” Bucky screamed, upending the bed and spreading the rage-fueled chaos further.

              “I loved you!” His hand grasped something small from her bedside table and threw it at the wall hard. As it sailed through the air towards its demise, Bucky realized what he’d thrown. He watched as her mug shattered against the mirror and sent broken glass and ceramic all over the floor. The rage left Bucky’s body as quickly as it had arrived and he crumbled to the floor as the grief settled deep into his bones. He didn’t remember making the noise that drew his friend’s attention. That horrible noise of grief that fell somewhere between a sob and a scream. The noise that he’d been the cause of when he was The Winter Soldier, but had never made himself, and never really understood, until now. All Bucky could focus on was the chunk of porcelain in his hands. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the spot of mismatched paint. Even as Natasha fell by his side and pulled him to her tightly, he couldn’t stop staring at the paint. Couldn’t stop running his thumb over what was left of the repair. He vaguely heard Nat shout for Steve, but his brain refused to process anything anymore as he broke down entirely.

              “I love her.” He sobbed into Nat’s shoulder as she rubbed his back and held him. “I love her so fucking much and I haven’t fucking told her.” -     -

              Bucky’s palm was sweaty and his stomach was tied in knots. He tugged at the collar of his white dress shirt and silently cursed himself for not triple checking the size. It felt like it was strangling him and the weight of the tuxedo jacket didn’t help. Tonight was the biggest gala before Christmas and New Year’s, and Bucky actually had a date. Well, it wasn’t officially a date, but he’d convinced Y/N to go as his date to the gala; eventually selling her on the idea by pointing out that they were great friends and wouldn’t have to engage in awkward small talk or expectations with strangers and they could totally cut out early without having to apologize r explain it to anyone. She had pretended to think it over for an agonizing three days before finally agreeing and now the night had come.

               Bucky stood outside the door of Y/N’s room and took a deep cleansing breath before fitting his most charming smile to his face and knocking. His jaw dropped when the door opened and Y/N answered wearing a face of makeup, one of his shirts, and nothing else as far as he could tell. A toothbrush hung from her mouth and her eyes widened behind her glasses when she saw him.

               “Oh shit.” She murmured past the plastic in her mouth. “Is it time already?”

               “Yeah.” Bucky responded as his smile faltered. “We have to leave in thirty minutes.”

               “Well, fuck me.” Y/N cursed, removing the toothbrush beforehand. She turned away from the door and disappeared into her bathroom for a moment. “I don’t know what to wear!”

               In a heartbeat. Bucky thought as he watched her scramble from the bathroom to her closet and begin looking for something to wear. She reached up to the top rack and his shirt rode higher up on her thighs, revealing the tiniest peek of black lace before the shirt fell back and Y/N moved to her bed with a box carefully balanced in her hands. Bucky thought he had been hot under the collar before, but it was nothing compared to how he felt when Y/N suddenly pulled his stolen shirt over her head and cast it onto the bed, leaving her standing in a matching set of lacy undergarments. The air in the room was suddenly thicker and hotter than Bucky recalled it being before. His collar once again felt too tight and now he was considering that he might have the wrong tux all together because his pants were certainly getting tighter by the second.

               “Buck?” Y/N’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He blinked and looked down to see the mostly bare expanse of her back as she buckled the collar that served as a neckline in place. “Can you unclip me?” She asked, pointing to the black strap across her back that Bucky realized was her bra. “I don’t want my bra showing.”

               Bucky’s fingers slid gently under the strap and he fumbled with the clasp for a moment before finally getting it unhooked. The entire time, he had to fight to control himself and not immediately attack the exposed flesh with his teeth like he wanted to. As the clasp sprang open, Bucky let his fingers fall, gently running them down Y/N’s back until he got to the low zipper of her backless dress and pulled it closed, hiding the small of her back from his view. The shiver that shook her spine and the goosebumps that appeared in the wake of his trailing fingers did not go unnoticed by him and he wondered if it was just a typical reaction or if Y/N could feel the way he wanted her and maybe shared some of the same feelings.

               “T-There.” He declared with a strained voice. “All done.” He watched as Y/N moved away from and slid her arms out of the straps of the bra before fishing it out from under her dress and throwing it into her hamper. She turned around and her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth as she looked up at Bucky.

               “How do I look?” She asked, removing her glasses and tossing them onto the bed as well.

               “Nervous.” Bucky replied honestly before closing the gap between them. “But honestly, beautiful.” He really couldn’t help himself anymore. Not with how beautiful she looked right then. Not with how intense his feelings were for her. Not with how much he loved her. Bucky’s hand came up to Y/N’s face and he cupped her cheek gently before leaning in and closing his eyes. Moments before their lips met, Y/N’s door was suddenly shaking with the sounds of knocking followed by Thor’s voice urging them to hurry up and get down to the limo so they could be there early. Bucky mumbled an apology and moved away from Y/N and her questioning look.

              “We should…we should go.” He said, not making eye contact with her and rushing back out of the room.

              They got into the limo with the rest of the team and went off to the gala, where Bucky actually managed to have a good time, despite his awkwardness earlier in the night. He and Y/N fell into their easy routine of playing nice with the big shots and cracking jokes whenever the night started to get too heavy.

              He didn’t miss the way she leaned on him a little more than usual or the looks she kept shooting his way during group conversations. Bucky could see the question lingering behind her eyes and he did his best to avoid it until finally, Y/N caught his elbow and pulled him down to whisper in his ear.

              “I’m so over this. Wanna get out of here?” She jerked her thumb towards the door and added, “We can go back to my room and get comfortable. I recorded Shark Week so we could binge it together. Unless you’d rather do…something else?”

              And there she was again, looking at him with those big beautiful eyes and Bucky felt his clothes become restricting again. She couldn’t possibly mean what he was thinking. He cleared his throat and tucked his face into her neck so he could whisper back in her ear.

              “We should totally watch Shark Week. Let’s go.”

              Within an hour, they were back at the Complex, in comfortable clothes, and binging Shark Week while the cuddled up to one another on Y/N’s bed. The cuddling wasn’t new, they’d been doing that for months now. Ever since the whole Coffee Incident, actually. Halfway through the third episode, Bucky looked over to where Y/N had curled into him and realized that she’d fallen asleep. He smiled softly and made to move, but her fingers twisted into his shirt and she mumbled a quiet protest before slinging her leg over his and trapping him. He smiled to himself and shut off the TV before shifting to hold her closer. He didn’t remember falling asleep that night, but it had been the best sleep he’d had in a long time. -     -

              It wasn’t until months later, when the snow began to collect on her headstone, that Bucky was finally able to sit down and watch her say goodbye.

              He pulled up the video file as he sat at the kitchen island, holding a mug of cinnamon coffee and wrapped in the blanket that she’d given him last Christmas. He took a steadying breath before pushing the play button.

              “If you’re seeing this then that means…well, that means I didn’t make it. I’m dead.” Y/N spoke to the camera as she held herself tightly and tried not to cry. Tried to be strong, even in the end. “And I’m…fuck.” The tears fell and she hurriedly wiped the away with the back of her hand. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

              Bucky had seen this part before; had heard the words echo in his dreams for nearly a year. He braced himself for what was to come, hoping he could weather the inevitable storm.

              “Bucky, I should have listened to you.” Y/N continued. “You told me it wasn’t safe and you were right. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen.”

              She sank to the floor and pulled her feet towards herself before looking back into the camera.

              “I don’t think I’m going to make it out of here, so I need to get something off my chest before it’s too late.”

              More tears darkened the cracked cement beneath her as she looked away for a moment. When she turned back, a strained smile graced her lips.

              “Remember the Fall Gala last year? The one we went to together?” A quiet short laugh escaped her before she continued. “You almost kissed me before we left. I’ll never forget how fast my heart was going. I should’ve –I wanted to kiss you, too. I still do.”

              A choked sob shook her bloodied body and nearly broke Bucky as he watched the screen in surprise. She’d wanted to kiss him. She still wanted to, even when saying goodbye.

              “I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time now, Bucky.”

              The words shocked Bucky to his core. His mouth fell open and he felt the unmistakable prickle of tears start in his nose.

              “I didn’t realize it until recently and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.” She choked on another short, miserable, chuckle and added, “Of course, this is the worst way. But I can’t go without saying it.”

              Bucky watched as Y/N wiped away the tears and took several deep breaths. He recognized the steps of her keeping a panic attack at bay and his heart broke a little more just knowing that her final moments were spent this way. She turned to face the camera full on and smiled that soft smile she had reserved for Bucky only.

              “James Buchanan Barnes. Buckaroo. You absolutely perfect, wonderful, ridiculous clown.” Her grin widened a touch and then, “I love you. I love you so, so much. I –”

              There was a flash of golden light off to the side of the frame and Y/N’s face turned towards it with something like hope before the sounds of the structure finally collapsing the dust and debris of the same event filled the frame and the video feed went out.

              Steve woke up to Bucky’s screams coming from the kitchen and found his lifelong friend collapsed on the floor in distress. Coffee and shattered porcelain lay at his feet and the still frame of Y/N’s last smile was frozen on the tablet on the island. Steve knew immediately that Bucky had finally watched the video; had finally listened to the girl he’d loved beyond all comprehension declare her love for him and then die.

              Steve knelt by Bucky and wrapped his friend in the tightest hug he could manage, tucking the other man’s head into his shoulder and allowing him to shed the tears he’d refused for so long.

              “That light…” Bucky croaked out after he had finally shed all the tears he had. “Before the building fell…”

              “We saw it.” Steve confirmed. “Tony says it’s some kind of digital artifact.”