#breaking convention

The great thing about Saiyuki is how honest everyone is and how they let everyone around them be honest too. Sanzo doesn’t like the rain and he just lets himself be grumpy, and the others let him. Goyjo gets pissed off and goes after Kami-san, and the others let him (though they do end up coming after him). All of them yell at each other when they don’t agree. They all get depressed, angry, etc. And that more than anything reveals how important these relationships are. You need friends and/or family who accept your anger and your sadness, not just your joy.

There are so many people who aren’t allowed to be angry. Women often aren’t, as jokes about “PMS” and “femiNazi” make clear. Back men in the USA can’t be angry or upset or they’re seen as crazy, untrustworthy bombs that police need to shoot on sight. Refugees can’t get angry about their situation, because hey, we so kindly took them in.

Anger and sadness can be good things. But so few societies know how to deal with these emotions. Everyone’s supposed to wear a damn smile, or they’re labeled depressed instantly. You know what? There are some people who are full of joy, like Goku, but there are also people who are passionate and angry at injustice like Gojyo. There are people who don’t smile much, who are jaded like Sanzo. There are people who hide their hurt and anger behind an ever-present fake smile like Hakkai.

There are different types of people, who experience emotions differently and utilize them differently. And that’s ok. It’s ok to not smile if you don’t want to, and be grumpy and irritable cause life is so damn painful. It’s ok to always put a positive spin on things and try to stay upbeat no matter what. It’s ok to be passionately angry at things that are just not ok, like cruelly using and killing two brothers. It’s ok to use a fake smile because it puts others at ease and helps you feel whole. All of these responses to trauma, death, suffering, and uncertainty are ok.

Saiyuki is about these four guys who are traveling into unknown territory against overwhelming odds, who are attacked in every chapter. Their responses are responses to trauma and violence. And the depictions are accurate. Everyone responds to difficulty and suffering, trauma and violence differently. Remember this. Remember your way isn’t everyone’s way, and that it’s ok to be upset or sad. Let those you really care about have the same freedom to be able to express their emotions and deal with things in their own way.

There is no real “wrong” or “right” way despite what society and convention say. There are only ways that work for you, or ways that don’t. If you need to scream sometimes, scream. If you need to sob, sob. If you need to eat junk food, eat it. And then, then you can begin to move past this. Then, maybe you can even begin to heal. Only you know what you need. Well, maybe not always. But you learn. You learn what helps you and what doesn’t. Let yourself try scream or cry. Breaking convention may be just the step you need to be yourself.