#brca

A Fresh Run-Away

In black and white, we see him have a mundane life for a few months, working as a Cinnabon manager at the Omaha mall; Day in and day out, a lack of vibrant expression, no friends- nor partner- all while fearing to be found out. In short: Anxiety ridden and yet- bored. Every day looking like the last, blending within one another, just to come home everyday to a drink and some television, where his ads no longer run. Until he pulls out his tapes. Its important to note here that he is giving into this colorless life not in the name of redemption, but rather because of the risk to be confronted by authorities. If he had no risk of his ability- or freedom- of committing crimes being taken away, he would not put any effort into remaining straight and proper in the first place. The only reason he relapses into the chaotic life style of which he craves is because of points I mention later into this post. But to keep it simple here, he gains an illusion of control that gives him the confidence to pursue his colorful lifestyle. We can only assume that he keeps this shell-of-a-life behavior up for a few months before giving into the world of crime again, since he only lives as Gene for about eight, before inevitably getting caught.

Craving Color

It's not long enough 'til we see our hopes and dreams for Jimmy crushed in front of our eyes. As we were all watching his Gene life unfold, I think it's safe to say we all wanted to see him reflect and learn from his prior life's mistakes within his new, isolated world. Or, at least, we unanimously wanted an increasingly self-aware Jimmy being revealed to us from this point on. However, things take a turn once Jimmy's real identity gets exposed by a particular character: Jeff. From here until the end of Gene's run, He is seen plotting heists, and later on, much more sinister scams with Jeff and Buddy. Shortly before this, we watch a scene where Gene confronts Jeff at his house by his shed right after befriending his mother, Marion, talking about "The Game" and how he has "a way into The Game", which he knows Jeff wants in on. To me, I immediately saw this as an attempt to regain power. Not only was he holding threat over Jeff's head by now knowing Marion and her son's criminal past, but also painting himself to be the con-artist mastermind he has been prior to this, but is later shown to not hold that rank as effortlessly anymore. Rather, this is his desperate attempt at regaining the control and presence he once felt as Slippin' Jimmy and Saul Goodman within the limits he very much deserved. He was once respected effortlessly by the people who saw him and agreed with his truth- whether or not it was morally sound. Back then, he didn't have to hold power over people's heads. Since his real identity now is under threat, he had to go to further lengths, threatening and demanding a random person to abide by his rules and desires in order live through them for his selfish desires, which he never had to do in his prior lives.

He established a system for the intention of power and control as I stated above- which felt very forced the way I saw it- as well as having no close and trusted individual to do his conning with light-heartedly, like he did with Marco and Kim.

Through Gene's limitations, we watch him play the impossible game of attempting to revive the past in a much darker way while also being in denial of any accountability, as well as denial of being in a sticky situation.

Purpose of arrogance...?

Through the adventure of Gene living a mellow life, to him grasping at an opportunity for an air of which he misses so desperately, it's safe to say: We heavily witnessed him going through the first 3 stages of grief- Shock, Denial and Anger- which I think is critical to go over in order to fully understand the weight and message behind his relapse into a dark lifestyle.

Here is where I think we can find most of each stage:

Shock: His early life into Gene, living as boring as possible. Laying low, feeling detached, as if to merely be a shell of a human for months. Denial: The meat of the story behind Gene's actions- a grasp for opportunity through Jeff, the attempt to dive back into the life of a con-artist only much colder and sinister this time, not in true Saul Goodman or Slippin' Jimmy nature. Desperately trying to live up to his prior names despite everything still remaining in black and white, showing it's not as fulfilling as the life he once lived. Anger: We see this mostly during the call with Kim, and right after she hangs up. Kim carried the truth with her and made it clear to Gene, which he felt triggered by, since he wanted to stay comfortable in his bubble of arrogance. We also see this on and off during his attempt to live within his old life again, taking it out in little ways onto Jeff whenever he showed apprehension.

Through Gene's tougher relapse into criminal ways despite everything he's caused, and showcasing the first three stages of grief as this persona, I believe it was made to convey to the audience how difficult it would have been for him to acknowledge the truth, to stop chasing a high- to finally make peace with the negative impact he had on the lives he's touched- Without external forces. The biggest one of course, being Kim. Gene's deeper plunge into crime shows the audience that he wouldn't have made any effort into becoming a better person on his own accord, which sends the message: He would have been changed beyond repair otherwise. It shows that Jimmy's character revolves sensitively around love and acceptance.

I really loved analyzing Gene's character, and why he gave into the criminal life once more. When I was introduced to Gene, I felt very confused as to why he was acting the way he was, or why he was even shown for Saul's (as I knew him at the time being a new viewer and all) character development. It further confused me when he was exhibiting opposite to what I hoped for in terms of Jimmy's well-being and evolution. It's so jarring seeing how dark Jimmy was willing to go as Gene- drugging multiple people, and almost killing a man that reminded him of Walter White- which made Gene feel justified in his actions towards him.

It's amazing how each of Jimmy's personas have a deep purpose, being important on their own and in the bigger picture later on into his redemption arc.

If you're curious where I'd place the other 4 stages of grief for Jimmy- since I'm basing this off of the 7 stages of grief:

Bargaining: When he's, well, trying to bargain the least years in prison.

Depression: Once he learns Kim confessed to everything, and continues shortly in court when he monitors her expression during his trial, choosing to confess to everything.

Testing: Once he gets into his prison life, one we see much less of.

Acceptance: When he's finally able to have a connection with Kim again, and onward.

Of course, it's definitely not as cut and dry as I'm painting it to be. They 100% blend into each other and I'm sure in prison he will keep going between all stages of grief many times over as any complex human would.