#braindeadfanfic

"Hey Cook… Wanna fuck like rabbits?"

He could not believe him. That god damned, mother fucking, stupid piece of shit. This asshole had the gall the tackle him, pin him down, and ask him that fucking stupid question. All with that stupid little smirk on his lips. Well, if you could even call that a smirk. Sanji wasn't even sure if rabbits could smile. It was more a lopsided twist of fuzzy lips and a tiny grey nose.

Zoro crouched above him, looming into his space. His long green ears stood straight up, the bright fur fading to a soft seafoam as is reached his brow. Thin pink scars standing out against his white fur.

"W-what?!" Sanji replied incredulously. This had to be the worst fucking time for this bastard to get horny. Shoving the fluffy brute off of him with his extremely powerfully long legs. At least some things didn't change. "You shithead! No! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Why not?" the older male let himself be pushed away and settled onto his hind legs. He stared back at the other expectantly.

"Because, one…" Sanji gritted out before roaring, "We're. Fucking. Rabbits!" Zoro just stared at him like his argument wasn't even valid, raised thick eyebrow silently telling him to come up with a better excuse. "Two, the others have gone searching for the asshole that made us this way and will be back any minute with said bastard to change us back." Still, no change in Zoro's demeanor. "And three, we're in a shoebox."

"Biggest damn shoebox I've ever seen." Zoro muttered under his breath as he looked around the very spacious crate they were placed in. "So what? We've got pillows in here, it's practically a bed. What's the problem?"

"I am not having sex with you here!" Sanji shot him a glare along with a leg out at the green rabbit's ribs and sent him into the corner of their kennel like space, the force of it threatening to topple the box over and off the dining table. Sanji crawled into the corner and curled in on himself facing away from the swordsman… swordsrabbit, and closed his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Cook. S'not like we've never fucked on the table before. But seriously, we have a bed. When was the last time we had a bed to lay in?" Zoro sat up and crossed his arms, or at least tried to, they were so short and stubby the most he could do was fold his paws together over his poofy, yet still quite lean chest.

"No!" Sanji shouted back with a heavy thump of his foot and buried his face into their new bedding. Maybe he'd take a nap? Might as well, who knew how long they were going to stay this way. 'Oh great. Now I sound like the marimo idiot.'

"The others are gone looking for that devil fruit jackass, you and I are the only ones on the ship." His ears, lacking their usual gold embellishments as Robin had removed the heavy bars from them before they set off, twitched in irritation as he dropped his arms at his sides and glared at the blonde rabbit. "You always said you wanted to try new things and really, what's there to lose? Not like we got anything better to do, anyway."

The moss ball had a point. They were all alone, with no one to disturb them. And he was kind of bored. And maybe the thought had crossed his mind at one point- No! It was wrong. He didn't like being a rabbit, he didn't want to be a rabbit, and he most definitely didn't want to have rabbit sex with this green idiot in a fucking shoebox on the dining table. It was fucking degrading, dammit.

He felt the pillow dip behind him as his partner inched closer. 'Gr~eat… Persistent asshole.'

"Shit, Zoro, I said n-" His retort was cut short when a weight flopped down next to him, long ears slapping against his face, and long feet and nubby paws tangled into his own as a fluffy green head snuggled into his chest.

"Fine, fine. I get it." Zoro mumbled into golden fur, his twitchy snout tickling Sanji's skin. "Just shut up and go to sleep."

Bright blue eyes blinked dumbly as the green head buried itself deeper into his chest, a content sigh heating up his skin and green ears laid back flat against their owner's head. Shifting slightly, Sanji lowered his face into Zoro's shoulder and closed his eyes, a soft smile dressing his face as sleep quickly took over him.

…

He wasn't sure how long they laid like that, though he was fairly certain it had only been half a moment, but Sanji awoke to the feeling something warm twitching at his chest. The warmth turned to moisture as it slowly made up his body and along his neck, under his chin. Something firm, yet soft at the same time, was brushing against his side in soothing circles. Smiling, he raised his arms to wrap them around his lover's neck but froze when their maximum reach was barely any distance from his own body. Confusion over took his senses but realization hit him strongly when yet another undefinable something caressed his ears. His strangely long, furry ears.

"Wha- Zoro! Stop!" He brought up a leg to kick the other man… rabbit off of him but it was deflected by a foot of his own as Zoro rolled them over and pinned Sanji into the down filled bedding.

"Shut up, Cook." The command came out deep and guttural, accompanied with an animalistic snarl behind it. Sanji tried hard not to laugh at the fact that this fluffy little bunny above him had growled at him like a feral beast. Seeing the restrained smirk on the white and gold rabbit beneath him, Zoro shot his right foot down next to Sanji's body, it's forms natural power creating a loud threatening thump, effectively wiping the expression right off the other's furry face before continuing his prior actions.

Zoro leaned down and sealed their lips. The kiss was weird and awkward. Their lips rubbing against the other's as their noses twitch at the tickling fur and whiskers. Sanji jerked his head away with a snort and tried yet again to push the larger man away only to have his paws pressed into the pillow beneath him. Grass colored ears caressing his golden ones in slow, gentle strokes made him freeze. A soft grey nose nuzzled against his pink making his cheeks heat up. A warm wet tongue grazed along his lips and sent shudders down his spine.

"Sanji."

His name was whispered low and huskily, as if it were a secret to be kept from the world. He looked up to find one dark lust blown eye staring intently into his ocean blue.

"Sanji."

Zoro swept his tongue against Sanji's lips again, coaxing them to part and dove in. He laid down, fully pressed into Sanji's longer form, from toe to tip, not a single breath of air separating them. Their mouths clashed together in a heated kiss that was more teeth than tongue. A wrongly timed tilt of the head brought a sharp bite onto Sanji's tongue, forcing him to reel it back with a yelp and he rubbed the muscle against his palate to sooth the pain.

Zoro's voiced apology was accompanied with a few licks and chaste kisses before he inched down the blonde's neck and chest. The kitchen started to fill with soft whines and grunts, barely audible to human ears but loud and clear to their leporid. His ears wrapped themselves around Sanji's before slipping down to swipe through his cornflower hair and along his jaw. He felt absolutely giddy by the sounds and shivers he was rewarded with and delved lower, past the gold tinged chest, towards the milky white belly.

His paws tenderly massaged the other's hips and knees, slowly spreading them wider as he went. Zoro moved to the left, nibbling at the stretchy flesh that connected from Sanji's stomach to his leg, rolling the appendage this way and that, stretching the skin taut and lapping up at it in ravenous desire. Sanji moaned deliciously at the attention, no doubt savoring the sensations of new skin his human body never had, the nerves sensitive and reactive. He brought the skin into his mouth, gently rolling it between his hungry lips then letting his teeth tentatively graze against the flesh. This elicited stuttering groans that reverberated through Sanji's entire being, causing the lust within him to burn hotter and brighter, his control slipping.

"Z-z-zoro~..."

Taking his choked out name as a silent plea, permission to continue worshiping the man beneath him, Zoro opted to stop wasting time and moved down to claim his prize. With one final lick to the damp leg, he rose and…stopped. His head tilted to the side voluntarily as he stared down at his lover. Sanji was panting heavily, blonde mop fanned out in all directions revealing both eyes and a pink flush spread across his white and yellow face. Noticing the other buck's pause, Sanji sat up.

"W-what? What is it?" Zoro was staring at him, face blank and unreadable. Concern, and maybe a bit of dread, welled up in his chest. "Zoro. What's wrong?"

Zoro blinked down at the space between them before looking back up to meet the other's blue eyes. Sanji swallowed thickly. Zoro had never stopped before. Had never dropped everything and stared at him like he was doing at that moment. Then it became clear, Zoro was turned off by the fact that he was a rabbit. The idiot had finally realized that yes, they were indeed rabbits, yes, he was just about to fuck a rabbit, and now regretted it. Sometimes, Sanji couldn't understand how dense Zoro really was, and at a time like this, it kind of hurt.

Sanji watched as his moss head's eye travel back down his body and just stared.

"Uhh…" Zoro cocked his head to the other side, eyeballing Sanji's form with a cocked brow and an expression of pure bewilderment. Sanji could practically hear the rusty cogs turning in the marimo's brain as his tried to solve the puzzle that was Sanji.

"Where is it?"

Wait.

'Where is it?' ?

Where was what?!?

His eyes widened as realization dawned upon him, hitting him like a bucket of water left out in the dead of winter to freeze overnight. The idiot. The dumbass. This mothER FUCKING SHITHEAD!Asking such an absurd question! Before he could rage out at the bastard, Zoro started to move again.

His dark eye roamed over the white mass of fur. There were two pink masses poking out slightly on the inside of each leg, he easily distinguished what those were. And there was a small pink orifice dead center just above the fluffy gold tipped tail, again, easily recognizable. But where was his…

Zoro could feel the wrath just rolling off the other hare in waves of dark aura, angry bitter wisps licking at his fur, eager to wrap around him and strangle him. As staring wasn't going to solve any riddles, he reached a paw out and touched, hopefully the sneaky, hiding treasure would reveal itself with a little extra probing. Fuck knows it always worked with their human bodies without hassle.

He gently placed his paws on each leg, rubbing softly as he moved closer inward. 'Surely it'll be near his balls.' Zoro could feel his own erection throb and burn excitedly somewhere below his belly. He knew it was there, but when he looked down he just couldn't determine where it was. This was a new body and he hadn't a clue where his dick went hiding. He really wished there wasn't so much fur, visuals always made things better between them and in a situation where he was completely lost, in bed no less, seeing would be pretty fucking appreciated.

Sanji stiffened when hands… paws… touched him, all anger and rage leaving me breathless and sputtering as Zoro kneaded at his tender flesh. He felt soft pawpads massage his skin, strolling across his groin as they searched for his overheated, neglected arousal. Zoro's hands rubbed and stroked at his nether regions, as if patting him down searching for a concealed weapon, alternating in a left, right, left, right pattern that made the last of his irritation melt away and give way to pleasure. Sanji tilted his head back, unchecked sighs escaping his lips.

Zoro was massaging soothing circles between his legs close to his stomach when he noticed a peak of puffed up hair. Curiosity getting the better of him, he lightly touched the patch of fur and the tiniest bit of pink flesh shown. Swelling up with triumph, Zoro pressed down onto it fully, the vent pulled back and exposed the flushed member, shining brightly with a layer of precum.

A twist expression scrunched up on Zoro's face as he bit his lip and threw his head back, his suppressed chortle coming out of his nose in a loud strangled snort before he fell backwards guffaw, clutching at his stomach as he rolled on the down pillow.

Confused, appalled and completely pissed, Sanji sat up, gawking as his partner flipped onto his belly, pressing his face into the bedding to quiet down his laughter, and patted himself down until he pulled back the skin to inspect exactly what the mossy fucker thought was funny.

The blonde rabbit froze. Looking down at himself he found a little nub, only a few millimeters long. No bigger than a cowpea. It was pink, it was slightly curved downward with the skin pulled tight, and… it was tiny.

A new burst of laughter brought him back to the present and he turned to see Zoro sitting up across from him, barking out like the idiot animal he was, no doubt amused at Sanji's position of him checking himself out. Anger boiled in him and he pounced on the offending grass-eating grass head.

"Shut up, shithead!" The attack did nothing to silence the laughing bastard, but he did quiet down to irritating chuckling. Sanji whopped him on the head with his ear, wincing at how sensitive his surprisingly powerful ears were, and poked at the scarred chest. "Oh shut it! Not like yours is any different!"

Shoving the marimo onto his back, the yellow rabbit pinned his legs open with his big feet and pushed up the vent covering his privates. Zoro's member looked exactly like his own, if not slightly longer, though not as thick and the idiot had the cheek to look smug about their difference in size.

"W-well, I'd hate to point out the obvious…" Zoro said, putting off as casual though his averted gaze and pink tinged face betrayed him.

"You fuckin-! It doesn't matter if they'r-!" Sanji grabbed a fist full of Zoro's fur - if the thought of a human Zoro with chest hair didn't turn him on - pulled him close and roared in his face with a heavy thump of his oversized foot. "It's still smaller than my pinky nail! Fuck you!"

Everything got hazy as the room started to favor the right and his head started to spin. He found himself laying on his back, shoulders sinking into the softness beneath him and a weight on his hips.

"No, Ero Cook." A low, husky voice chuckled above him. "Fuck you."

Zoro duck down just in time for the the blonde to raise his head and see him trail his tongue up his arousal, slurping at it slowly before taking it into his mouth. Careful not to let his teeth touch, he lapped at the member, using his split lip to pull at it while his tongue worked the underside.

He marveled at the fact that, though they were no longer in their own bodies, everything was as if it had never changed. Physically, yes, they were different, but in other ways? Even with all the fur in the way, taking Sanji into his mouth was no different than before when they were human. He tasted the same, smelled the same. The only things reminding him of their transformation was the fact that how couldn't wrap his fingers around his partner's arousal, nor pinch at those perky nipples on that gorgeously sculpted chest and that he had to be very careful with his long front teeth. Other than that, there was no lingering presence of them being hares.

He left like he was just getting started and he was just poking his tongue into the circular hole in the tip when a loud, high pitch scream repeatedly chirped somewhere above his made halt and his mouth filled with liquid. Swallowing before looking up, he saw Sanji screaming, his face scrunched up and curly brows furrowed deeply. He looked… in pain.

"Sanji!" Zoro sat up and held onto the blonde's face, trying to calm him down and make him look at him. "Oi, what happened?! Are you ok?"

Sanji's cries quieted down to pained groans and heavy panting. His lids opened revealing rolling eyes before they steadied and focused on the swordsman.

"You ok?" Zoro's face was full of concern. Had he hurt Sanji? Was that part of him too sensitive in these bodies? Did he cause any long last damage?

"W-wuh? Yeah, Marimo, I'm fine." Sanji reassured breathlessly and confused. He was just getting some pretty amazing head and next thing he knew, his body quaked and the moss ball was hovering over him. Why did Zoro look so scared?

"But-? You were screaming. You sounded like you were being butchered alive. I thought I hurt you."

"Oh. I didn't notice. I was moaning that loud? No, Zoro. You didn't hurt me." Sanji stroked his paw against the top left side of Zoro's chest, just where his scar began - the action always did, in more ways than one, do wonders to calm the idiot - and placed a little licked on his lips. "On the contrary. It felt amazing. So don't stop now.

He didn't understand why the cook had screamed like that. It sounded so unnatural. But knowing that arguing about it any further would just irritate them both, he pushed the worry aside and cautiously laid against his lover. He listened as a content sigh left the blonde, as it always did when Zoro settled his weight on him - they both loved the pressure of being underneath their most important person and being so close, as comforting as it was - and relieved he hadn't hurt him, trailed kisses across his face and under his ear.

He lifted his hips up and looked down between them before meeting Sanji's eyes. "Do I still need to prep you? I don't really think I can." He added and held up a paw, teeny padded numbers wiggling to clarify his point.

Sanji fought back a snort at the question, matching Zoro's smirk and aloofly flipped one of his ears in dismissal. "Don't worry about. Just hurry up and fuck me already."

But really. How much damage could a little thing like that do without preparation. Not like ordinary rabbits had access to that kind of stuff anyway. They should be fine.

Pushing up their fur to expose themselves, Zoro lined himself up with the Y shape entrance above Sanji's tail and laid back down. He slowly pushed in, distractingly nipping and licking the man-turned-bunny under him, their ears tangled together was he was completely sheathed inside him.

Sanji hummed as the pressure filled him. It was amazing that everything was as pleasurable and delicious as it always was. He placed his paw on the swordsman's shoulders and hooked a foot over his hips before licking the base of his left ear, just below where his piercings were.

"Move."

And so he obeyed. Zoro rocked into him, slow and steady before pulling out slightly and began to thrust. Sanji threw his head back, pulling Zoro down with him by their tangled ears, the unfamiliar yet sensitive touch sparking ever more pleasure through them.

Peck and licks were exchanged between heady grunts and pants. Zoro could feel the pressure building within him, the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach and when Sanji bucked his hips to meet his thrusts and clamped down tightly around him, release overtook him hard, unchecked moan falling for his slack, kiss-bitten lips.

The green buck suddenly found himself on his back. He looked up to see a bodily flushed Sanji laying with an angry wince on his face and his hands pressing his ears flat against his head. Panting, he crawled over to him, hesitation keeping him from touching the other.

"AH~! What the fuck was that?!" Sanji yelled looking up and gingerly rubbed at his right ear. "Why were you screaming?! Ow."

"I- I didn't realize I was." Had he really screamed? Sure he had moaned, but screamed? Thinking back, and completely sobering from his high in the process - 'wasting a perfectly good after sex glow' - he could admit to himself that maybe he had been a bit more vocal than usual and laid down next to Sanji. "Sorry. I guess I did."

Sanji sat up, rubbing the tip of one ear between his paws and hummed. "S'alright. I guess that's what I sounded like earlier, huh?" He bent down and kissed the tip of Zoro's grey tinged nose. "I think I read something somewhere that the male rabbit squeals after mating, so no worries."

Grey nose twitching at the contact, Zoro rolled over and wrapped his arms around Sanji's waist, huffing into his fur. "Rabbits are fucking weird. Well, my high is gone now. Did that seem a bit quick to you?"

"I think both times were short lived." The blonde cook pounced, climbing on top of him and straddled his narrow him before pushing back Zoro's vent. "And I'm not done with you yet."

This caused Zoro to chuckle, excitement returning to him swiftly, and grazed his paws down Sanji's chest. "Not satisfied yet, hmm?"

"Not even close." He whispered hoarsely, leaning in closer to the green haired man.

"I'm beginning to understand where the phrase 'breed like rabbits' came from." Zoro met him halfway and their mouths locked together with fiery passion.

…

Zoro had Sanji perched in his lap, his blunt claws digging into the side of the box to keep them both upright as quickened his pace, thrusting hard into the body utop him. Sanji's own claws bore into his shoulders searching for purchase as he bounced on his toes, meeting each of Zoro's thrusts, matching his pace with a beautifully timed downward grind of his own.

He grabbed onto Sanji's hips, pulling him down and pressing tightly against him, and rotated his hips, two short jerked thrusts before circling again. Sanji yelped out loudly and teetered to the side, dragging Zoro down with him. He flipped the blonde over, pulling up his tail as gently as he could in his haste and thrust into him, causing Sanji to fall onto his face and moan into the pillow.

Zoro repeated his earlier pattern, pulling out before grinding back in. He bent over and kissed Sanji's neck, their ears caressing and his paw massaging his tail. He forced himself to brutally plow into him, their rhythm falling apart as Sanji's body shook uncontrollably beneath him. He could feel the heat pooling in him, too soon for his taste and tried to fight it back, halting to grind deep and hard into the hot entrance.

Sanji clamped down tightly around him, causing Zoro to tip over the edge and filling his lover. They both called out in unison, their chirped screams mingling and bouncing off the walls of the kitchen as orgasm ripped through them. Their names slipped from the other's lips with the cries and resonated in their ears in a language only they, and creatures like them, could understand.

They collapsed atop one another and Sanji rolled to lay over him, their paws folding together as they tried to slow their raging heart beats and rapid breathing. Their ears wrapped around each other, a tender, comforting touch they were slowly beginning to grow accustomed to. Their lips met, tongues intertwining as they savored in the familiar and very human taste, scent and warmth, basking in the heady afterglow of a good fuck.

"One more?"

…

Time passed in the galley, or maybe it was at a standstill, neither men could really tell as they were too consumed in the other, going above and beyond to bring the other to ecstasy. Even after multiple orgasms, they were still able to find a second wind - and a third, and a fourth - energy renewed once their breaths had become even and their palpitating hearts calmed.

Sanji was sitting on Zoro's leg, keeping it pinned down with his hock, while the other leg was hooked around his waist forcing Zoro to lie half on his side, half on his back as he thrust wildly into him. One of his yellow ears had somehow ended up in the marimo's mouth and he shuddered as Zoro lapped and suckled at the tip in worship.

"S-sanji… Ah~ I'm close…"

He brought the foot from on his hip up onto his shoulder and kissed at the jagged scar encircling the ankle, licking at the gnarled flesh as he angled into the man below him. He snapped his hips forward sharply, causing Zoro to bark out loudly and suck him in deeper, and closed the distance between their lips. They shared a sloppy, wet and heated kiss, teeth clacking as tongues fought and tangled together.

His thrusts became spastic and lurched, paws gripping at the covers as he tried to find some sense of control. Heavy paws grabbed around his neck, pulling him down and keeping him close. Wet heat trailing up the inside of his ear broke him, his body seized and sputtered while Zoro clung onto him tightly as they climaxed.

…

"No more~"

"Oh come on, Cook. It wasn't that bad."

"I'm so exhausted. How many times did we need to do that?"

"Well, if we count the time you nearly rutted me over the table…"

"No! Shut up. That was rhetorical."

"I counted seven different positions."

"I don't want to hear it, Zoro! Ugh. I need water."

Sanji crawled off from where he laid, flopped on top of Zoro's belly where they petted each other as they waited for their breathing and racing hearts to even out, almost tripping over the sniggering moss bunny and climbed out of their box-bed to head over to the other side of the dining table where a basin of water and a basket of produce was strategically place by their resident sniper so they wouldn't have to struggle to get the fridge open in case they got hungry while the rest of the crew was out searching.

He bent tentatively, hips and legs locking up with fatigue and soreness and drank deeply, Zoro, whom had followed him out, stopping beside him to take a drink as well. The rabid neanderthal belch softly before pressing a light - and rather soggy for Sanji's taste - kiss to his lips and hopped over to check out what food they had.

"It was kind of amusing though, no? Screeching like condor hatchling during every orgasm. I don't think I've ever heard you that vocal before." Sanji chuckled thoughtfully and shook his head, rubbing his sore ears with a grimace. "I'm not going to miss that."

Zoro hummed in agreement as he dug through the plethora of fruits and veggies Usopp and Chopper had gathered for them, pausing momentarily to punt the bundle of carrots he found to the other side of the kitchen with a scowl - a slap in the face by a golden ear he reward for such a skillfully aimed kick - a picked through the fruit.

"You wanna split a banana?" He asked, holding up the body sized musa and using his notched ear to point at it. Sanji grinned at how adorable his marimo could be, completely accepting to the fact that he was a rabbit and maybe even possibly enjoying it, if only for a short while. "Sure."

Zoro grabbed hold of the stem and pulled back the peel. Or he at least tried to, his little paws couldn't hold onto it long enough to apply enough for to open it. Laughing internally as the green hare clawed, bit and even punched the banana, Sanji hopped over and pressed the other end of the fruit against the table with his paw, breaking open the skin and exposing the flesh.

"The easiest way to peel a banana is to pinch the bottom. Remember that for when you get lost in the woods and bananas are you're only food." he instructed and peeled the rest of the skin aside, receiving a slap of his own to the face by a floppy green ear.

After a bit of pushing and shoving, the two finally got about to nibbling on the fruit, discovering it was actually quite a pain to eat with their small mouths, flabby lips and big teeth, but nonetheless ate in a comfortable silence. Sanji looked up to find Zoro having quite a difficult time trying not to make a mess of himself, little bits of yellow mush clinging to his whiskers. He used the tip of his ear to wipe off a chunk of banana off of Zoro's nose before folding his ear and licking it off. He smiled warmly at the other before going back to his snack.

"Shouldn't you be eating grass, though?" Sanji queried after he finished, deciding to tease his lawn faced partner. He didn't expect the other's reply though.

"But," Zoro looked up from licking his paws, his half of the banana long gone, and tilted his mush stained head to the side with a concerned expression. "Wouldn't that make me a cannibal?"

Sanji snorted before laughing out loudly. Sometimes he couldn't believe how dorky his lover was. "You're an idiot!"

"I'm your idiot." The swordsman clarified. He scooted closer and waggled his spliced eyebrow at the blonde.

"Yeeee~ah." Sanji deadpanned. "How could I forget?"

Knowing the love cook was merely teasing, Zoro moved closer and pressed his lips to the cook's. They kissed slow and tender, shifting until they faced the other fully, lips moving against the other's sweetly while paws found and cupped each other. Zoro looked down between them at their joined hands, his staring face expressionless before his brow furrowed slightly and a downward curve on his lips slowly formed.

Sanji tilted his head back up to meet his eye and kissed him gently. "Doubting our crew, Marimo?"

"Never." Zoro laid his head into Sanji's lap, the latter stroking his green hair soothingly while picking out little bits of fruit left on his fur, and his green ears rested flat against his head and neck as he got comfortable. Feeling like a pampered king, he was just drifting off when something hit his foot and there was a loud clatter. Zoro shot up, but regretted it instantly when his head came in contact with something hard.

"Ow~! What the fuck?!" Sanji cursed, rubbing at his sore chin. "Shit, Zoro, that hur-"

Zoro groaned as he sat up, his hand carding through his hair as he tried to scratch the pain away. "Yeah, yeah, sorry. What was-?"

He patted his head and found nothing. Nothing but hair. Meaning… no ears! He looked up to see a wide grinning Sanji. His Sanji. Five foot eleven with milky white skin and the only hair on gracing his sculpted body the ugly mop on his head, stupid curly eyebrows, slightly hairy legs, the trail going from navel down to his groin, the dark gold dusting his lower back and that irritating patch of pubes on his face that he loved so much.

"They did it!" Sanji wrapped his arms around the moss head, his moss head, and kissed him on the tip of his human nose. "Missed you, Kuso Kenshin."

"Get out of my face, Aho Cook." he retorted, pressing a kiss to those sweet, thin lips. It felt absolutely blissful to kiss him again.

"Come on, Marimo, go get dressed. The others will be back soon." Sanji pulled at his bottom lip with his teeth before pushing off the table and walked around the mess of bruised crops and spilled water on the floor to grab a towel from the sink while the swordsman grabbed his clothes off the cushioned bench that sat parallel to the dining table and hooked his earrings back on. He almost stepped on the carrots Zoro had kicked aside, quite impressively for a musclehead he might add in the confines of his mind, and hummed approvingly when he thought up of what to make for dinner.

Mess mopped, clutter cleared, table disinfected, pillows thrown into the wash, dressed to impress, marimo snoring on the couch and a bowl of chopped carrots set aside on the counter later, the Mugiwara chef was just pulling out the marinated lamb from the fridge when the galley door burst open.

"Sanji~! Zoro~! You're back to normal!"

The blonde turned to greet his crew and served out the chilled drinks he prepared for them, Luffy glomping him and demanding food, the bag in hand hitting Sanji's head.

"Welcome back my lovely ladies~! Great work taking that shitty bastard out~!" He cooed, body rippling in his usual pathetic attempt at a mating dance.

"We helped too, ya know bro." Franky half-heartedly reprimanded, grabbing a cola out of the fridge and some milk for Brook when the skeleton asked.

"Yeah Sanji! Don't forget us men!" Luffy piped in, Usopp and Chopper chanting in agreement behind him. "We chased him down and made him eat dirt!" a cheer of 'yeah's cried behind him. "He didn't stand a chance against us, right guys?!" a roar of 'hell no's from the other male crew members answered back. "We kicked that bastard's ass! Well… Nami, Usopp and Brook did, they rest of us got turned into rabbits." The happy cheer was drowned out to two woeful groans and a pair arrogant snickers.

Sanji practically melted, prancing around singing praises of Robin's beauty and elegance even in the form of a rabbit and all the spoils he would bestow upon her, of course not forgetting the other woman on the ship and her needs, while behind him Usopp was saying something about everything going to his grand scheme and thanking Brook for his contribution to the plan who yodeled in return.

Chopper approached Zoro and collapsed down next to him on the couch. "I'm really happy all of that was over. It was so strange being rabbit, a reindeer AND a human. We were really lucky to find him so quickly."

"Oh yeah? Where was he hiding?"

"Like you would be, he was hiding in the bar near the pier, gloating about how he turned two of the Strawhats into 'useless bunnies'. He even turned a couple of this town's bandits too just to prove he wasn't lying." Nami answered sipping on her frozen fruity drink, next to her Robin flipped through a book with a glass of her own.

"But thanks to Chopper's nose we found him really quickly. The whole fight didn't even last thirty minutes!" Their captain laughed jovially, patting a flushed Chopper's back who danced and cursed at the former.

Zoro and Sanji looked up dumbly at the information. They had beaten that user in no more than half an hour? From the way they made things sound they had probably found the fucker within a few minutes, chasing him down only just as long. Had they really been on the table for less than an hour? The two men exchanged a look before averting their gazes, fighting back embarrassment. They had screwed over a dozen times in just that short period and Zoro couldn't decide if that hurt his pride or not.

Clearing his throat, Sanji tried to change the subject, or at least stop referring to the duration of their battle and pointed at Luffy's long discarded package. "Thanks so much for getting that shit head. I'm sorry I wasn't there to What did you guys buy on your way back?"

"Oh yeah!" Luffy stormed over to his bag, beckoning doctor, musician and sniper to his side and distributed its contents to them out of sight before turning back. "We bought… RABBIT EARS!"

And true enough, on each of their heads was a pair of long ears perfectly matching their hair. Chopper's with thick brown hair, Luffy's frizzy black, Brook and Usopp's the same course curly black, Usopp wearing his straight up whereas the former wore his bent, spaced further apart and pushed forward on his large afro. Luffy dug once more into the bag before stretching his arms out and perching cat ears on the navigator's head, who didn't so put off by the action.

"After turning back, we thought it would be fun to play rabbit games like leap bunny and… uhhh…" Luffy trailed off, scratching his head and his face turned red and a vein popped out of his forehead from concentrating too hard.

"You didn't think it through, did you, Luffy?"

"Nope! But we'll figure something out. Being a rabbit was so much fun! Shihihihihi!"

"Indeed." Robin commented with a chuckle. "It was quite interesting being one of the leporidae species. I got this book on the way back and I believe, had I been a true rabbit, I would have been of the Silver Marten breed. You would have been a Thrianta, Nami. Look, your hair color matches perfectly."

"I'd rather be a cat than a smelly rabbit, thank you. No offense." She added, not wanting to insult all of her nakama that had had the misfortune to be turned and readjusted the ears on her head.

"Oh~ so that's the book you bought. What kind of rabbit would I be, Robin?" The cyborg tipped up his glasses as he looked over the pages.

Robin scanned through the leaves before stopping at a page with a picture of a large brown and white rabbit. "For you Franky, I say the Flemish Giant. They come in a variety of colors and your steel-gray fur perfectly matched you. I think even its name suits you well." Franky giggled and blushed at her words. "Luffy, don't forget to give Zoro and Sanji their ears as well."

Zoro's face dropped when a headband perfectly matching his hair was thrown at him, rolling it in his hands before tossing them aside, out of the corner of his eye he saw Sanji do the same. "Oi, Franky. Where are your ears? Don't tell me you're backing out of the fun too."

"Hell no, Zorosuke! You forget about one of su~per~ inventions again? I'm hurt! A super cyborg such as myself has no need to silly accessories when I have~…!" His voice raised at the last words as he pressed his metal nose. Three seconds passed and his electric blue hair exploded before styling itself into two long blue rabbit ears. Franky through his giants altered arms up and struck a pose. "Never underestimate the possibilities of this SU~PER~ machine that is Armored Me!"

Ignoring the shipwright, as was everyone else who wasn't under 20, the cook redirected his attention. "What about you Robin? Did you also get a pair of ears? Or maybe a set of wings to go with your angelic beauty?"

Calmly turning the pages of her book, giving no sign that she had heard the other, Robin took a sip from her beverage, rolling the flavor around her tongue and set down the glass before a shower of flower petals swirled around her head and two forearms appeared, both bent at the wrist with curved fingers mimicking flopped over ears.

The others burst out in laughter, overjoyed at how much their reserved nakama had opened up so much since their separation. The arms angled themselves slightly to the side, mocking a confused expression as Robin's calm gaze met his. "I'm sorry Sanji. I didn't hear your question. Could you please repeat that?" One hand curled into a C-shape, a human ear blossoming from her thumb and leaned closer to the cook denoting that she was all ears, causing a new fit of laughter amongst the crew.

It was no wonder she fit in so well with the crew, she was as quirky as the rest of them. She smile brightly herself, eyes crinkling with shining glee. A yellow metal hand appeared by her side and one of the bloomed limps turned outward meeting a proudly smiling Franky's hand-in-a-hand in a high five, apparently the two of them had discussed the matter beforehand.

A clank of metal on metal had Sanji turning back to find Luffy leaping over the counter and into the kitchen half of the galley, stretched out arm meaning to open the bubbling pot but a ladle to the back of his hand stopped him.

"Ow, Sanji. I just wanted to look. And maybe taste." The latter part, though muttered softly, not escaping the cook's hearing. "What are you making? It smells delicious!"

"Lamb tajine with carrots, olives and mikan preserves and a dry slaw on the side. It just started simmering, Luffy! Here! Eat a carrot and go play somewhere else!"

Sanji fought with the rubber-man, trying to get him away from the stove, and the fridge, and the storeroom while the Robin showed Chopper the breed he most resembled. A curious Brook pointed out that the little puff of fur in the book lived up to its namesake, saying the Lionhead rabbit looked exactly like Lion-chan, much to Franky's torment, which led to an argument about not calling the Sunny-Go cutesy names. The whole kitchen erupted with bickering and laughter and no one noticed their swordsman slip out the door with his hand hidden inside his robe.

The crow's nest was dark as he climbed through the hatch, sliding the lock into place with his toe as it closed. A lone figure sat on the curved bench that stretch across the expanse of the walls, features illuminated by the moonlight shining through the large paned windows. Green hair glowed silver, overcoat loosely hanging on his shoulders, sparkling gold earrings contrasting starkly.

Sanji ambled over, climbing into Zoro's lap, back resting against his chest, and sighed contently as the other's warmth seeped into his skin through his thin shirt.

"You done for tonight?" Zoro asked. He knew the answer already, but he liked to have quiet moments like these with the cook where he would just ramble on about random things.

"Yup!" Sanji yipped happily. "My lovely kitchen is clean, I finally got the stain that Luffy made out of the table and with my nice refreshing bath, I am ready for my watch shift!" He reached his arms up high in a long stretch before letting his hands drape themselves around Zoro's neck and looked up to meet Zoro's dark gaze. "Stay with me?"

"Of course." Zoro leant his head forward and pressed their mouths together. They kissed slow and tender. Zoro could smell the soap lingering on on his skin and inhaled deeply savoring in the scent of shampoo, cigarettes and a spicy undertone that was completely Sanji. He pulled the other man closer by his chin to deepen the kiss.

Sanji turned awkwardly in his arms and made to stand, squirming to get his arms back from around his neck and sat up, never breaking the kiss as he straddled the broader man's hips, towering over him and pulling him closer by his herbaged head and earrings. Gliding his tongue across his lips, he coaxed the other's mouth open and delved inside, sucking and lapping at the hot muscle within.

Hands roamed and mapped out flesh as they stretched out on the sofa, tangled in each other's limbs. Zoro's robe was pushed off his shoulders to pool at his waist, Sanji's t-shirt pulled overhead, tongues met again in a hungry dance of passion and dominance, bodies rocking against each other trying to acquire more friction between them.

They broke apart with a gasp, foreheads pressed together as they panted heavily, noses brushing, hands stroking and caressing flesh and hair lovingly.

Sanji nipped at Zoro's lips in worship, nipping and sucking it swollen as if it were the most delectable treat he ever tasted. "I want you."

The hoarsely whispered words against Zoro's skin made him shiver. He steeled him, calming his nerves and gently slid Sanji off his lap. "Wait here."

He walked through the darkness to the side of the crow's nest where he kept his weights and dug through a stack of fresh towels. Items in hand, he returned to the bench and sat, kissing a line up Sanji's neck before sucking on his lobe.

Sanji reveled in the hand carding through his hair and almost didn't notice something slip onto his head. A smirk made its way on his face as he recognized the shape and licked the conch of the swordsman's pierced ear. "Pervert~"

Zoro chuckled against his sideburn, giving him one last kiss before inspecting his handy work. He froze upon seeing the golden yellow ears perched on the blonde's head, faux fur blending in perfectly with the cook's tousled tresses that shone brightly in the moonlight. Glittering, half lidded blue eyes, swollen lips and a red bruise blooming on his collarbone completed the sultry look and caused Zoro's arousal to double.

Sanji squirmed under the heated gaze, feeling that pitch black, dark as night, and almost evil looking eye undress him and carve him apart. His heart pounded in his chest and his body involuntarily gyrated as he watched the green haired man lick his lips. A violent shudder wracked through him when he spoke.

"I think I've developed a new kink." Zoro leaned forward, his presence alone forcing Sanji to lean back, barricading him with his arms place on the wall behind him. His eye darting about, taking in every inch of skin, drinking in the image of the man before him.

The cook fidgeted under that eye and adverted his gaze, eyes falling onto the other accessory Zoro had brought out of hiding. Smiling, he pick it up, Zoro catching his movement and following the hand as it placed the headband on his green spiky lawn. The black gaze met his again, slightly softer, less intense to what it was moments ago, almost shy and placated.

Zoro straightened from where he had crawled on top of the other, slowly rolling his shoulders back, neck craning side to side slightly as if in a show of exhibition, proudly peacocking himself with his rabbit ears to his lover, seductively fluttering his lashes at the one he had sworn himself to that night after Thriller Bark.

A sparkle of flame flickered in Sanji's eyes. Never before after all this time had he ever seen Zoro behave in such a way and with a ridiculously humiliating ornament decorating his head no less. He looked so proud, so dignified. He looked gorgeous.

"You're not the only one." He said as he trailed a hand up and along the gnarled flesh slashed across Zoro's chest, thumb rubbing tenderly on the tip where it met his shoulder and pulled the man he loved down on top of him.

They touched and kissed and licked and moved against one another. A heady passion coursed through their veins, each time the band of the ears shifted, grazed against a cheek or was seen spark it anew. As they came undone in each other, they made a vague mental note to thank their crew. What for, they weren't exactly sure. But they knew there were thanks due.

end

I had just written Sanji's veto there was got a call, "Get yo lazy, shit-author ass to the delivery room. Now! Your niece is here." Best. Birthday. Ever. Reveka Anne + Khean Kenly = birthday buddies!

I don't have rabbits, I don't even like rabbits (unless stewed), so I researched stuff and after adding in a few personal kinks, this is the outcome (°H°) I'm actually kind of embarrassed. Hope you all enjoyed it. Especially you Mugi-chwan~ (kellermarie)! You're the boss. Any bunny art created for this will posted on my Tumblr and DeviantArt.

Leporid(ae) - rabbit family Musa - banana genus

I couldn't help but add a little bit of Frobin bromance.., love it or hate it

"Zorosuke" is from Glorious Island

*BON*

*BOUN*

The cannonballs' blasts rang out through the air, black smoke filled the midday sky, spreading darkness across the land. A massive rolling roar pounded into his ears. The ground beneath his feet rumbled and shook, reverberating in his chest. Bright lights flash and swirl about, rainbow bubbles blinding his vision. He rubbed the heel of his palm against his eyes. Sight adjusting, the pounding in his chest easing, he opened his eyes.

Projected upon the black sky were two great images, the bounty posters of the two pirate captains. The crowd around him cheered out, chanting their leader's title. "Oyabin! Oyabin!", they called. Nearly 500 pirates surrounded him; Nami to right, Robin and Chopper somewhere near the top of the bleachers. Usopp had taken it upon himself to be Luffy's second. Over the loud roar of excitement, he heard the unmistakable sound of the world's most annoying bird,

"Nami-swan! Nami-swan! Where are you?"

The Katorisenkoku* was currently quacking out his mating call, searching for the self-proclaimed love of his life, the Numimajo*. As the Katorisenkoku approached, Zoro casually straighten a leg out, successfully tripping the blonde sack of crap. Sanji fell face first into the ground, getting popcorn and cola in his tresses.

"Watch where you're going, kuso* cook.", Zoro lazily stated.

"Eh! You shitty bug! You did that on purpose!", Sanji wailed, reaching out and grabbing a fist full of Zoro's hair.

"You got a problem, curly bastard? Maybe you should watch where your aho lovelyn* ass is going!" Zoro grabbed the back of Sanji's shirt, trying to tug the blonde's weight off of his shoulders. They each grabbed each others' faces, pulling hair and poking eyes.

"ARG!", Sanji's shirt sleeve got caught in one of Zoro's earring, causing the marimo* to cry out in pain. Zoro pinched at Sanji's eyebrow, plucking out a few hairs.

"Itai*! You shit! Leggo of my eyebrow!"

"URUSAI!*" Two small fists, two grunts of pain, two head lumps, one groaning marimo, one giggling love cook. "When will you two ever quit?", huffed Nami.

"Ah, forgive me, Nami-swan!", Sanji chirped, heart eye pulsing with adoration. "Please excuse this poor example of a swordsman and his bad manners. Here! I brought you some cola and popcorn!" Sanji stood and shoved Zoro to the side, settling himself next to the redheaded navigator.

A crackle broke through the air,

"Today's match up! A battle between two captains!" was heard from the den den mushis* scattered around the arena. The crowd cheered loudly, calling out praises and rants to their captain. "Entering first! The man who declines no challenges! With a record of 920 wins and 0 losses! The man who wins at every game! Our Oyabin; Silver Fox Foxy!" An explosion of screams and cheers erupted from the stands as Foxy and three … backup dancers? … step out onto the figurehead.

"I wonder if Luffy will be alright.", a concerned Nami points out. "That Split Head guy has that freaky beam, for sure he's going to cheat. Plus, they're on his ship, who knows what crazy weapons and traps he has there."

"Don't worry about Luffy," Zoro says. "He can hold his own just fine. Besides… He's got Usopp", he adds with a snicker.

"I don't think that helps any, Marimo. Now shut up, he's coming out."

"And entering from the right corner, hailing from East Blue, the captain of the weaker pirate crew! -"

"Oi", argues Nami, a tick forming above her brow.

"- A man worth one hundred million belly, known as 'Mugiwara*', the challenger, Monkey D. Luffy!"

Luffy walked out onto the Silver Foxy's figurehead, gloved fists raised above his head, belting out a battle cry. The Mugiwara Pirates (plus Robin and Chopper of the Foxy Pirates) cannot believe their eyes. There, in front of them, stood Luffy; red shorts, shirtless, black elbow sleeves, a strange blue flaming dokuro* painted on his chest, and upon his head an … afro? Usopp is standing behind him, posing like the cocky bastard he is, dressed in his own getup with Luffy's treasured strawhat safely perched on his own.

"Ooh! Nice hair, Luffy!" Sanji exclaims in awe, arms thrown skyward. "What the hell is that?" questions Zoro. Nami stares at her captain, wondering if she made the biggest mistake of her life joining this crazy crew. 'What the hell is Luffy doing? What's the afro for? Is he really that stupid? Mattaku.*' Chopper's eyes sparkle brightly, amazed by how cool Luffy looks. Robin simply giggles in agreement.

The weird mouth announcer, Sludge Worm*? Was that his name?, then explains the rules of the fight; apparently to win the match, one fighter must throw the other off of the ship. Luffy throws a few practice punches as Usopp gives him words of strength, wisdom, and encouragement.

"Listen here, Luffy." Usopp grunts, dropping his tone to lower vocal register. His charisma bleeding through his words. "You're not the boy you once were, Luffy. That hair style awakens the beast in the heart of every man. You may ask 'Does the afro make the champion? Or does the champion make the afro?'. That is a question yet to be understood by modern science. Luffy, When you don that afro, your punches gain power."

Luffy chuckles, voice deep and mature. "Let's get to it, Ossan.*"

"Oh, yeah!" the call in chorus.

"The Davy Back Fight's fateful final round, Combat, is about to begin! ..."

The crowd roars. The two captains stare each other down, one trying to psyche the other out. Luffy, fists raised, glares fiercely, yet confidently, at the Split Head bastard. Foxy, on the other hand, just stands across from him, posture relaxed, with a cheeky grin on his creepy face.

"... But first a word from our sponsors!"

Author Notes and Glossary (Hell yeah! Maybe I should add an appendix as well XD)

And there you have it! The prologue! So, as you may have noticed, this is pretty short. It doesn't really have much to do with the main plot, but it's all connected to this day. I didn't want to add too much detail into this scene and dragging it out too long because, really, the story doesn't revolve around this. I hope that makes sense. Let me know if it doesn't. I'll try and have the next chapter up soon!

Bon - the sound of cannon fire (refer to manga).

Oyabin - boss

Katorisenkoku - a pun on Katorisenkou (mosquito coil), Tori (bird), Koku (cook). He quacked because the animal he resembles most is a duck. [Noted in SBS 20. Robin, Franky, and Brook were noted in SBS 50]

Numimajo - a pun on Nami, Umi (sea), Majo (witch) [Took me 20 mins to make this up -.- mattaku]

Kuso - shit

Aho - stupid, idiot, dumbass

Itai - ouch

Marimo - moss ball. One of Japan's natural treasures.

Urusai - literally 'noisy', can be used as 'shut up', 'annoying', 'irritating', etc.

Den Den Mushi - also known as 'Snail Phone' or 'Transponder Snail'. Used for transmitting audio and visual information.

Dokuro - means 'skull', meant as 'Jolly Roger' or 'Skull and Crossbones'. (Also a very cute PS game. I recommend it to all those with a PSVita)

Mattaku - 'honestly', 'jeez', 'seriously', or 'good grief' (love you Charlie)

Sludge Worm - the game official's name is Itomimizu, which translates as 'Tubifex Worm'. It is a species of tubificid segmented worm. They are also known as 'sludge worms' or sewage worms'. They looks like pink seaweed.

Ossan - 'old man'/'uncle'. Not to be confused with Jijii (old man [Sanji to Zeff]), Jiichan (gramps [Luffy to Garp]), Oyaji (pops/dad [sons to Whitebeard])

Thank you so much for reading! Please review! Find any errors? Typos? OOCness? A better title? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Compliments? Interpretive Dances? Just let me know! I'll do my best to answer them all.

Also, if you noticed, my tense goes back and forth from past to present. Like, Sanji says, Zoro exclaimed, etc, etc. If this bothers you or sounds funny, please let me know and I will fix it. I had a lot of fun editing this. My beta and I did nothing but fight and yell at each other the whole way through. We are kind of the embodiment of Zoro and Sanji, respectively.