#birtf

My dad is leaving for work again soon so my mom's doing her best to make up for time and go on as many vacations as possible regardless of the fact my dad was still recovering, but he's a-ok now, it's just a fracking hole in his stomach after all. Hence, the trips to Hong Kong, the metro and beaches. We just got back from our third beach trip this year yesterday as celebration for my dad's full recovery (he really likes the beach). It feels like I have to pack a bag every 3 days, quite literally. I tried to rush and post it before we left for Puerto Galera last month and again before Usopp's birthday but … well, it's here now! These beach vacations need to stop but there's a chili cook-off this weekend in Pundaquit and we're going :/ So here's Day 5! Enjoy~!

Disclaimer and Warnings:

I own nothing (except DIY Luffy flip-flops and shorts!), Oda-sensei owns the world. A whopping 19,000 word chapter with swearing, Nihongo, written episodes, mild man on man action (FINALLY!)

Don't care for yaoi or BL? Get the fuck out of here! No one likes you. Leave!

This is now rated "M". I think this was "M" since the prologue, but I'm bad at ratings. IMO the Scary Movie franchise is PG-13 :/ To my readers on tumblr: How do I rate this? Bold means characters are speaking/thinking in unison. Time cards shall be read in the French Narrator from Spongebob's voice.

I messed up AGAIN last chapter. I gave Zoro ultra pervy thoughts. That wasn't supposed to happen yet, kindly ignore that. And while I was sitting on the shores of PG, watching the oriental waves lick at the sunset, I had an epiphany. Going Merry-Go* Doesn't Have A FUCKING PANTRY. Well it does now!

I am ashamed as a writer. I do apologize for the very long opening credits.

Chapter 7 - Day 5: After The Storm

"Minna*! Okite*!"

A large wave crashed into the hull, rocking the ship violently. Sanji falls out of his hammock and lands with a splash in the water filled cabin. The water is only a few inches deep, but somehow Luffy has fallen and is now completely useless, while Chopper, in Heavy Point, bails out as much water as he can while Usopp tries desperately to patch up the long, skinny crack that opened up in the wall without losing his tools in the process. Sanji sees the marimo digging in the water, throwing water-logged pillows and books around in search of something and he seems to find it.

"Gotcha!" He yanks a soaked Sandai Kitetsu out from where it washed away to and straps it to his haramaki. "Hurry it up, Usopp!" he calls over his shoulder as he makes his way up the mast.

Sanji kicks Luffy, who had ended up face down in the water, onto his back. "Aho, gomu. Oi, Chopper! You think you guys can handle this?!"

"Ou! We got it! Go help Zoro!" The gorilleindeer ordee aye, Sensei, Sir!" the cook salutes, causing the giant Doctor to dance around, blushing like a madman and spitting out insults. "Urusai, kono yaro!" Chopper giggles in his lower register. 'How is he still so cute even in that form?' Sanji chuckles to himself as he climbs up the ladder.

"Zoro!" Nami called to him from her post at the helm*. She had been on watch when a hurricane suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Hurry and furl the mainsail! Robin already took care of the lateen*." He looks up at the black night sky and even in all its blackness, he can see the thick rolling clouds swirl around overhead.

As he climbs up the ratlines, a flash of lightning lights up the sky in an eerie violet glow. Off the port, he sees giant waves crashing against each other, fighting as they make their way towards them. "Nami!" he screams over the howling wind.

"Yeah! I know!" She calls back. She sees a head of blonde pop up from the deck. "SANJI-KUN! Take the helm and steer us south! We need to get out of this!" She jumps down to the deck and slides all the way to the other side, nearly colliding with their doctor and sniper, then climbs up to the forecastle. "Chopper! Make sure Luffy doesn't go overboard! There's a swell coming and we don't have time to go after him if he does!"

Zoro makes his way down back down the rickety mast to help Usopp keep it steady. "This thing's about to snap right in half!" He hears a scream and looks to the sea. There's a huge wave coming their way and if he squints, he can almost make out the shape of a small boat. "Usopp! Are you seeing this?"

"Lemme check." The sniper pulls his goggles down and adjusts the lenses. "Yeah, theres a sailboat. I can make out three people on a sailboat. Their lines broke and can't hoist their sail. Wait… They look familiar…" He plays with his lenses, trying to get them into focus and when he does he calls for the Captain. "LUFFY! It's Foxy and that woman and gorilla!"

"Ware-Atama*?" Luffy turns around in Chopper's hold and looks over the railing. "OI~! FOXY~!" He cheers merrily. "Watcha guys doing? Don't you know it's raining? Get back to your ship!"

The crew stare deadpan at him. 'Is he serious?'

They hear Foxy yell something, but his words get lost under the crash of waves hitting the hull. They do however make out the Split-Head's cry of "SAVE US, MUGIWARA!"

Luffy grabs a rope and stretches his hand out to them. They instead grab hold of his arm and get flung back onto Merry, crashing into the mast and almost breaking it. Much to Usopp's displeasure.

"Ne, Foxy? Where's your ship?" Luffy huffs and shakes his head at the other captain. "Seriously, get your act together. The Grand Line's a dangerous place, you know!"

Life on ship with the Foxy Pirates is difficult. Apparently they had lost sight of their ship and had wandered the seas for the last few days searching for them. Porche, the blue haired woman, desperately tries to cling herself to their doctor, constantly calling for him to come out and cuddle with her. Chopper spends most of the night hiding in Robin and Nami's room, where Nami had forbade the Foxies from entering. Hamburg, on the other hand, had been quite helpful. He assisted Zoro set up cots for them to sleep in and is even fishing with Usopp and Luffy for breakfast.

Silver Fox Foxy, however, was a complete different story altogether. The Split-Head Captain had complained every fucking minute he was on their ship. He complained about the soup Sanji cooked for them when they literally crash landed in on them, comparing it to hot water. He complained about having to sleep in the galley when there were perfectly good beds; which were the girls, below deck. He tried to sneak in a couple times, prompting Nami to set the trespassing rule. He had complained about there not being any breakfast when he woke up and still is complaining about having to catch his meal.

"Why is there no food?!" Foxy yells at the cook. "We're guests on this ship! Why do we need to fish for you?!"

Sanji grinds his teeth into his unlit cigarette and digs his heel into the deck. He has been holding back his urges to kick the bastard all morning and right now, the Split-head was really pushing the chef to his limits.

"First of all," Sanji grits out to the ugly nosed fucker, "we didn't have to rescue your ungrateful asses. You could be with Davy Jones right now for all we care. Secondly, we lost our entire stock of sea king meat -" Behind him he hears another pitiful sob from Luffy "- half the produce, and more. So if you want to eat, you have to catch it."

This, however, wasn't entirely true.

…

When Zoro woke up that morning, he walked into the galley to get water and found Sanji hiding behind the fridge door, bread crumbs clinging to his light stubble. "Watcha doing there, Guru-Mayuge?" he leaned his elbow up on the fridge door. "Hiding food?" he smirked teasingly.

"Zoro!?" Sanji yelped, quickly wiping his face and putting his food on the shelf. "W-what are you doing here? And I'm Not Hiding Food!" The blonde cook turned his head down, failing to hide the guilt on his face.

"Yes, you are. You told everyone to fish for breakfast, but it looks to me," he points at the small half eaten sandwich, "that there's meat right there. Luffy's going to mur~der you when he finds out~." he chides in a sing-songy voice, shit eating grin plastered on his face.

"Oi, teme! Don't look at me like that." Sanji picked up his sandwich and peeled away the bread to expose the brown flakey filling inside. "I know Luffy will be angry, but we worked so hard to prepare that sea king and I really wanted to taste it before our vacuum devoured it all, so I sliced up a bit of it before bed and saved it for myself." He set his meager snack down and turned to the swordsman with guilty eyes. "I didn't think a storm would show up and wash it all away. All we have left now are the bones and I used some of them for the consommé*."

"Why didn't you eat any last night?" It only seemed natural to Zoro that if you wanted something and it was right there that you should take it. Why bother waiting?

"I had a small piece to test the balance of the spices but I really didn't get much of it. Besides, it's a waste of food to eat when you're not hungry."

The green haired man sighed and smirked softly at the curly dork before him. He thought shame looked quite good on the slighter male. It was different and a pleasant sight to see after all the pathetic swooning and flirting and cockiness he was known for.

"Stop sulking, Cook." Zoro picked up the sandwich and pressed it against the blonde's lips. "You made it, you deserve to at least try it. Don't worry," he added reassuringly, "I won't tell anyone. Now hurry up before Luffy comes in and catches you red handed."

Sanji let out a breathy snort and smiled at the swordsman. He was grateful for the confidentiality and wondered if he should show it. The trust between the two rivals had grown so much in the last couple of days, it was strange that they never expressed themselves like this ages ago. "You wanna bite?" He asked hesitantly as he held out what little of the sandwich he had left; hoping the swordsman would say no so he can enjoy the rest of the delicious meat.

Zoro only shook his head and closed the fridge. "Nah, I had some last night. It's yours, you eat it."

The chef nodded, his inner voice hiding in his subconscious doing a little victory dance, and gobbled down the rest of his tasty breakfast, humming in satisfaction. "Get outta here, Marimo. Go train or nap or something. I don't care, just get out of my kitchen."

"Tsk! You just want to eat more meat you hid." Zoro joshed, earning him a boot to the butt that sent him out the door.

…

"Sanji~" He turns to see Luffy's rubber neck bent backwards, head bobbing upside down from it's tether. "Why did you lose the mea~t? I wanted to try it so~ ba~d." Luffy whines pathetically with a pout, disappointed tears building at the corner of his eyes. Sanji shoots a look towards to front of the ship and catches the supposedly napping swordsman leering at him with a wry grin, no doubt remembering about their moment in the kitchen.

"That's not my problem!" Foxy wails. "Why do I have to fish when there are perfectly good mikans right here?!" He reaches for one but grabs Nami's head who punches him halfway across the deck.

"That wasn't very smart." Usopp comments.

"Is he an idiot?" Luffy agrees.

"Pupupupupu." Hamburg laughs from his seat on the rail next to them. "Yes."

From the kitchen pantry, the Mugiwara Chef hears all sorts of "Ahoy"'s being shouting.

"Ahoy!" He hears Luffy call. "Foxy! It's your ship!

'Ship?' He drops his inventory list as he runs out of the galley and sees the Silver Foxy approaching. "What?! Are they leaving?! BANZAI! BANZAI!" He chants out along with Luffy and Usopp. 'Finally! We're free of these bastards. Not Porche though, she's not a bastard. I'd hate to see her go but...'

Sanji glances over to his left and sees the green head standing at the top of the fore deck's staircase opposite him. The grass head's grinning triumphantly and he can almost hear his mental chanting. Marimo's just as happy to see Foxy leave as he is. If not more. He's always hated having people that weren't nakama on their home.

The swordsman turns towards him and meets his gaze. His eyes light up, grin stretching a bit wider and shoots the man a thumbs up. The blonde's chest quakes in a silent laugh and returns the gesture with a beaming smile. 'Bastard.

…

He looks good with a smile.'

During the reunion of Foxy and his crew, it turned out that the former Captain of Foxy's most recent Davy Back Fight victory (being it that he lost the battle with the Mugiwaras) had mutinied and took control of the Foxy Pirates. Foxy challenged the Captain of the now known as the Fanged Toad Pirates, Kibagaeru*, to a Captain's Duel. And SOMEHOW during the fight, the Mugiwaras MYSTERIOUSLY ended up getting themselves involved.

"Prepare a full assault on Mugiwara!" Kibagaeru orders to his crew. "FIRE!"

Sitting on a staircase, Zoro scuffs at the scene before him. 'Are they seriously starting this crap? Do they really think they can beat us? They all saw what happened last time, right?' Below him, Sanji chuckles as he lights a cigarette. "Let's go, Usopp!" Both men charge out and attack. 'Stupid Ware-Atama betting our lives and Nami's gold. Meh, I'll let them handle this. Cook's enough to beat these losers.' Out of the corner of his eye, Zoro sees a Fanged Toad charge his way. Nami, who's sitting beside him on the step, says something but he doesn't hear it. He pushes her out of the way of a flying axe (ultimately shoving her down the stairs) and kicks the pirate in the face. 'Well that came in handy.' he thinks, dusting off his pants. 'Actually learned something useful from the pretty boy … not that I think he's pretty… Gotta stop thinking about him like that … pretty … Fuck.'

"Looks like we have to take all of them out if we want to get this over with. What a pain." he says to distract himself from his own thoughts.

Luffy charges after Kibagaeru "Try not to kill him Luffy" Nami jadely reminds him. "He's just a normal human."

Another stupid frog pushes his luck and swings his sword at Zoro. 'Heh, perfect. Time to test my training.' He raises his hands and concentrates all of his focus on the blade. "Shinken Shirahadori*…" Just before the sword comes down, a rubber sole connects with the back of his head, causing him to fall forward into the enemy's chest, the sword's tsuba embedding itself into his marimo turf. The swordsman chokes out in irritation at the impact as a lump swells, pushing the blade away and turns toward the blonde asshole that kicked him. "What" he spits out. "are you doing, Kuso Cook?!"

"Teme!" Sanji snarls back. "You pushed Nami-san down the stairs!"

"I saved her life! You got a problem with that?" Zoro argues back.

"What if she got hurt, baka?! You have no idea how to treat a lady!"

The idiot toad takes his chance as the Mugiwaras get distracted with one another, but Sanji senses him and side steps just in time. The man raises his sword with a cry and Zoro prepares himself for another strike, but Sanji kicks the man in the back, leading Zoro to clap his hands onto his face.

"Why do you keep butting in?!"

"Urusai! I'm not done with you yet!"

"Eh? You wanna fight, bastard?!" they say in unison. The man, who's still trapped in Zoro's monster grip moans in pain and diverts their attention back to him. "Doke*!" they roar, sending the helpless Kiba Gaeru flying off the Silver Foxy like a human firework.

"You got something to say to me, Cook?" Zoro grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him close so their faces are only inches apart.

"Yeah! You're a ill-mannered sea sponge and should learn to respect women!" Sanji yells, also grabbing onto Zoro's shirt, pulling him even closer so their noses barely touch.

Both men pant heavily, hot breaths mingling, Zoro inhales Sanji's tobacco stained breath as the latter's senses fill with Zoro's sake tainted one, no doubt from the bottle he stole earlier in the morning. Both men force a grimace at the other's scent, both faces blush slightly, both grunt in what sounds like disgust, both spit out insults in chorus, shoving but not releasing their grip on the other.

"Ero-Cook" "Aho-Kenshin!"

"Baka-Mayuge" "Kuso-Marimo!"

"Datsu" "Saboten"

"Katorisenkō Mayuge!" "Midori-Mushi!"

"Yokai Love Love Machine!" "Kaiju-Tennenkinenbutsu!"

"Eh?! Wanna-GEHH!"

Their bickering was cut short when Nami came up and ceasing their arguing.

"Yamero!" she reprimands. "Mattaku, and just when I thought you guys were... Really Sanji, I'm fine. Zoro did save my life." She explains to the noodle dancing chef that's too busy spewing declarations of love for her authority and strength and beauty and endless giggles of Mellorines* to listen, before turning to the swordsman. "Zoro, save my life like that again and I'll triple your debt." She then turns and walks towards Usopp who is currently fighting with an old man wearing a white coat.

"Che," Zoro rubs at his throbbing head and grumbles. "Umi no majo*."

Sanji knees him once more in the ribs, earning him a held back punch to the shoulder. "Teme…" Sanji wraps an arm around Zoro's neck, grinding his knuckles into his ugly green head.

"Agh! Not a noogie!" Zoro yelps and claws at the snickering blonde's waist, digging his blunt fingers into his ribs.

"WAH! No! I'm-ha!-ticklish there! S-Sto~haha~p!" Sanji laughs, desperately trying to kick the swordsman off of him while grinding his knuckles harder as tears water at the corner of his eyes.

"Leggo of me, Guru Guru!" Zoro tries to yank himself out of the head lock, but Sanji has his other hand pinching at his ear making every movement Zoro makes hurt even more. "Arg!"

"N-NEVER~!" Sanji stammers out between giggles. He's having a hard time breathing, but he's not about to release the bastard. Sanji throws his heel at Zoro's shin just hard enough to make him nearly trip over himself, but he recovers quickly and wraps an arm around Sanji's waist fully and flexes all of his fingers into Sanji's left side causing him to wail and twist Zoro's head painfully.

Their scuffling continues as does Sanji's laughing and Zoro can't help but smile. Somewhere in the distance, they hear a cry of "… no Pistol!" and a loud cheer from the Ware-Atama. "Oh, looks like we won."

Zoro hums in agreement. "Looks like, now let go of my head." He hears Sanji clear his throat, he's not sure, but it almost sounded like a nervous cough.

"P-Put me down, Marimo." Sanji stammers out and it's only then that Zoro realizes he had lifted the blonde cook into his arms bridal style, cradling his body against his chest. Sanji's arms are still wrapped around his neck, no longer in their death grip but in a relaxed manner. Sanji diverted his eyes away from the green man, a faint blush creeping up his neck. He's unsure if the steadily growing thumping in his body is his own or Zoro's, their bodies so close together, heat radiating off of the swordsman's body. 'He's so warm.'

Zoro looks up at Sanji to find tousled blonde hair and half lidded eyes. He's still panting from the exertion of their scuffle, and Zoro eyes the light pink blush dusting the cook's fair skin. Zoro can't help but think of other reasons he could have the lithe man in his arms like this. The man in his arms. In his arms. Sanji is in his arms. SANJI IS IN HIS ARMS! "Oh! Right." He grunts, gently setting him down and thinks it's his imagination when those thin arms linger just a bit longer than necessary around his neck. And he swears he's hallucinating when slender fingers tenderly graze against his neck and collarbone. 'No... can't be. No way. Not this dork.'

He coughs feigning ignorance, "I didn't even notice. You know, with your skinny ass being so light and all." shrugging disinterestedly, hoping the blonde doesn't notice the embarrassed expression on his face. "I'm surprised you don't get blown away in the wind."

Thankfully, this makes the chef snarl. 'My ass is not skinny! Shut up." Sanji smoothes out the wrinkles in his jacket and pulls out his cigarettes.

"Yes, you are. You're like a toothpick."

A match gets swiped against a green sideburn and Sanji takes a long, slow pull. "Well, not all of us have mutant muscles made of lead, and stop checking out my ass." He starts to walk away, confused by his own crazy weird remark and why they sounded so...suggestive. He hadn't meant to accuse the man ogling over him, it just came out that way. He also hadn't meant to comment on his physique, nor had he meant to cling to him when he was lifted off the ground, but he was just so warm and he got a little too comfortable; not that he would admit it. Things were getting weird between him and the swordsman, and though it all needed to stop, he wasn't put off by it.

"With an accusation like that," Zoro calls as he walks past him, bringing Sanji out of his thoughts. "I'd think you were the one checking people out."

Sanji falters. Had he been checking the marimo out? 'No! That's ridiculous!' He wouldn't. He was a man, damn it! Women, 'Ah, such lovely ladies', were the only ones he would be interested in. He wouldn't be looking at Zoro that way. 'Sure, he's a good looking guy, attractive even. But I would have to be blind and extremely insecure about myself to not admit that. And that's exactly what I'm not! I'm not insecure! I don't lack confidence in myself! And I am most definitely NOT staring at his ass! … That muscled … Kuso! I need a cigarette. Another cigarette.' He corrects himself and puts a second stick between his lips.

"God damn it, Luffy! Look at what you got us into now! You and this stupid afro!" Nami's scolds, ripping the afro off before dropping a fist onto their retarded Captain's head. "What is that thing anyway?!"

"What now? Can we get out of here?" Usopp asks from his spot in the corner of the dark room. After their victory over the Kiba Gaeru Pirates, Foxy gave his thanks to the Mugiwaras by shooting his shitty ass bastard beam at them before they plummeted down through a trapdoor in the middle of the deck. Now, here they sit in a small dark room deep below deck.

*Tok tok tok* "Hey," Sanji calls out, head pressed against the wall. "I think…" knocking a once more before nodding his head. "Yup! I found a way out." He swiftly lifts his leg and kicks the wall in creating a large hole. "Easy as pie."

Luffy bounces up to him laughing. "Ohh~! Can we have some pie later, Sanji?!"

Before he can answer, a fake falsetto catches their attention. "Choppy! Choppy, where are you?!" On the other side of the wall turned out to be a bedroom. A very colorful room. A round canopy bed sat in the center of the room, the walls painted with a swirl of rainbows and glittering stars. Stuffed animals and frilly pillows were scattered across the floor. This was definitely one of the female pirate's room. A rather large woman with long dark blue hair and a puffy hat comes out from around a wardrobe. She strangely looks like Porche - but much fatter - and turns towards them. "Choppy! Where have you gone?" The four Mugiwara crew members cringe at the sight before them. That retarded Ware Atama had put on a costume, along with a giant paper mache mask, to disguise himself as the baton twirling wench. 'If you don't come out~, I'll have to pu-ni-sh you~!"

The Mugiwaras are at a complete loss when Luffy approaches "Porche" and asks "her" where Foxy is, completely oblivious to the fact that the Split Head is right in front of him. Luffy is about to walk away when Foxy pulls out a sword to slice him in two, but Zoro is faster and blocks the attack. Luffy has the nerve to question the swordsman's actions and when reasoned with, has the even bigger audacity to think that "Porche" could be the Split-Head's sister!

Foxy gets sick of the charades and rips off his disguise and shoot his beams at them again. They all dodge out of the way, but Foxy has the advantage of having two hands. He shoots more and more beams at them. Zoro ducks and rolls out of the way of another stream of pink rings, and side glances to find Luffy standing in front of a mirror. He calculates where Foxy is standing and sees that when Luffy evades, Nami is in the reflect path of the beam. Just as split face bastard readies himself, Zoro pounces and pushes Nami out of the way. He's just about to dodge when he hears an annoying yell and sees Sanji jump towards him. "You idiot! Stay away!" But just as he's about to grab onto the blonde, so they can both be out of harm's way, the beams gains speed off the mirror and pulses right through them. Sanji freezes in midair and Zoro with his arms held out in front of him, both with their mouths wide open. 'Shimatta!'

~30 seconds~

"Sanji-kun! Zoro!" Nami cries. Foxy runs out of the room with Luffy charging after him. Usopp turns for the door as well, calling for her to follow. She nods to him in affirmation. She turns back to her two frozen crewmates and her chest quivers at the sight before her. "You two just sit tight for thirty seconds." she chokes out as she tries to keep her face straight and tone neutral before running out the room with a cat like smile that the swordsman doesn't miss.

~25 seconds~

Sanji pulls back, bringing himself to an upright position, and hopefully to stop before he runs into the marimo. Zoro digs his heels into the floor, preparing for the impending collision no matter what the blonde tries to do to prevent it.

'Shit. This is taking forever.' He looks down at Zoro nonchalantly and suddenly realizes where he's headed. "No." he breathes out. 'Oh god, NO!'

Zoro watches as Sanji's eyes blow wide and he briefly wonders what's got the blonde so unnerved until he notices the man looking straight at his mouth. 'No way! No fucking way!' He tries to back away from him, but his efforts are fruitless. Before he got hit he was moving forward, it would be impossible for him to change direction before the slowness wears off. "Oh fuck."

~20 seconds~

Their faces are mere inches away from each other and the distance is slowly decreasing. Sanji stares at the man below him with fearful eyes. 'Oh no oh no oh no no no no no…' He feels like he's been floating for hours now and his mind is running a mile a minute. He can't even divert his eyes away from the man before him. He's so close to him he can smell his breath and it takes him back to their moment out on the Silver Foxy's deck, when Zoro had him in his arms. He felt so warm and - unbelievably - quite safe. He felt security in those arms, he doesn't understand why, though. He's perfectly capable of handling his own. He can take care of himself. He proved that years ago when he was still a waiter on the Baratie and arrogant pirates thought they could just barge right in and attack the restaurant. He had never been unsure of himself, and yet when Zoro had lifted him up, he didn't feel like being put back down. It felt so nice to be held when they were just roughhousing. The past few days were the best he's ever had with the green haired buffoon. He had so much fun with him and he was wrong to think the idiot was less than anything than that, an idiot. He was surprisingly kind and actually pretty funny. Zoro being an eyeful was just a bonus. He glances down and realizes just how close he is to being in those tan arms again. 'Shit. I shouldn't be thinking about him like that! Not right now at least! … No! Not ever! Fuck, I wish would speed up already. I keep thinking things I'm not supposed to!'

Centimeters. Zoro can't believe the things that have been happening to him the last couple of days. Out of all the strange things that could ever happen to him and Sanji, out of everything, this was the moment he would dread the most. He never had any form of relationship with the man before, just a rivalry between two nakama that would get out of hand on a regular basis, but then just the other day, things seemed to have changed. Things got better. They had talked, not about themselves though, just about the ship, the others, the things Sanji did while he was cooking, and of course that weird conversation about animal guts and the various dishes you could make with a tongue when they caught the sea king. They joked around, they laughed, it had been nice. Hell, it had been great. But it was obvious to Zoro their newly formed bond was about to get complicated.

~15 seconds~

Sanji stares at the swordsman and relaxes his muscles deciding it useless to fight anymore. No matter how much he struggles they won't be able to avoid this, Foxy's Noro Noro* Beam trapping him in suspension. It was best to just wait for the unavoidable and hope things don't get weird. His eyes focus on the man's lips and feels his face heat up for the third time that day. 'Why? Why do I feel weird about this? This is Zoro for fuck's sake! …But…' The thumpling in his chest is all he needs to confirm his suspicions. 'Oh God...'

Millimeters. Zoro's able to shift his eyes away slightly, grateful the effects are nearing their end. They'll be at normal speed again soon and the inevitable will happen. Now, whatever it was that they had together, whatever this thing between them was now going to be ruined, and all because of that Ware Atama fucker and his god damned beam. 'Shit. This can't happen! … and yet…' He looks up at the blonde and meets his gaze. Dark ocean blue eyes that are being burned into his mind stare back at him. They don't look scared though and Sanji's cheeks are slightly pink, but he doesn't have time to think about what it means when soft parted lips touch his.

~10 seconds~

Sanji blinks once as Zoro's soft yet slightly chapped lips graze against his. They're warm and gentle and he feels a slow heat bloom through his chest. Reason hits him like a pail of icy seawater and he panics. He wants to get away from the swordsman as quickly as possible. He's able to twitch his fingers and mentally sighs in relief; time's almost up. He makes the mistake of moving his face muscles and his lips firmly brush against Zoro's and he lets out a surprised gasp but he's unsure whether it was the other man's or his own. 'Shit.'

Zoro is momentarily taken aback when Sanji moves his lips against his. It almost felt like- 'No, he didn't. He wouldn't! Would he? No! Love-cook wouldn't…' His arms start to feel heavy from being stretched out in front of him so long - though it had only been a few seconds, it felt much longer to him - and slowly lowers them. His elbows gently brush Sanji's ribs and he feels the blonde shiver.

~7 seconds~

A chill rolls up his spine and breaks off into little goosebumps and ripple across his skin making Sanji feel like he's on a high and a quiet sigh escapes him. With the mixture of the marimo's hot breath, the warmth radiating off of him and the softness of his lips; it feels so nice he nearly melts. 'Is this what was happening to us? But… why? We never liked each other before. We barely even acknowledged each other, yet this feels … not wrong. Can two days really change people this much? Why do I… I want to… I want…'

~6 seconds~

The scent of cigarettes fill his senses again, there's a hint of smoked sea king meat and the morning coffee in there as well, and the sensations consuming him make Zoro want to break down his inner walls and just let go. Or rather, grab on. He always thought the blonde was gorgeous, ever since the first time he saw him beating that Marine to a bloody pulp at the floating restaurant. He thought the blonde was dangerously sexy and badass, but the moment he became that "mellorine" yammering dumbass around Nami was such a turn off, the swordsman decided it was best to just ignore his libido and enjoy pissing the cook off instead. He's able to move his arms a bit more, and he loosely wraps them around Sanji's waist. He's thin, but Zoro can feel all of his taut muscles underneath. Sometimes it's just so easy to forget how strong Sanji is when he's always wearing those damn stuffy suits, but who was he to complain? The blonde looked good in them.

~5 seconds~

Sanji flinches slightly when he feels Zoro's strong arms wrap around him. 'Oh dear God is he-?' The swordsman's eyes are half lidded now and glazed over. There's a glint in them that Sanji had only seen during a fight. Not a quarrel between the two of them but a real full out battle against enemies. He's seen it when he fought Mihawk, in Cocoyashi Village, and most recently during the Groggy Ring match, but it's slightly different. It feels warm; Zoro's embrace, like back up on deck. Sanji feels so much at ease and comfortable that he just relaxes even more into it. Then those lips move against his. It's tentative but with the distance between them diminishing completely, the firm pressure makes up so much for the kiss. Kiss. 'I'm kissing Zoro! Shit, what are we doing? This needs to stop.' He wants to pull back and get away, he knows he should, but he's already in too deep and far gone that he doesn't care anymore. It feels so good, and so right that he closes his eyes, tilting his head to the left as his nose nuzzles against Zoro's and eagerly kisses back.

~4~

'Sanji! He's-! Oh~' Their lips move harmoniously together, slow and tentative but even through the effects of the beam, there was still the fight that both men felt the need to have between each other. Zoro inhales deeply through his nose, relishing the smells the flood into him and uses the fading effects of the beam to his advantage, pulling Sanji in closer to him as well as he can, meshing their chests closely together. He widens his stance more to prepare for the eventual impact of Sanji slamming into him so they won't fall. He finally has the sexy blonde in his arms and even though he knows it's wrong and that he's taking advantage of their compromising position, he's not going to let go any time soon.

~3~

Sanji's feels the tip of his leather shoe touch down and he tries to adjust his footing as to not topple them over when time speeds back up, but it's made difficult when his right leg is draped over Zoro's hip. Not that that's a hindrance, it's actually quite the home for his knee. He's able to move a little more and as he open his mouth a little more, gliding his lips against the larger man's, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he nips softly at the flesh and he puts one hand on Zoro's shoulder, the other wrapped around his elbow.

~2~

Zoro hums when he feels Sanji's grip on him tighten and tilts his head, deepening the kiss. It all feels so right that he wants time to both never go back to normal so he can live this moment forever, and to hurry up so he can do more to the handsome blonde. He knows that no matter what happens, he'll definitely want to do this again.

~1~

Sanji feels lightheaded and leans further into Zoro's arms. His breath, hot and heavy, hitch when a hand gently caresses his back and the room spins around them. 'Room…?' A mess of colors warp around his eyes, he feels a wetness on his bottom lip, and it takes him a moment to realize it's Zoro's tongue. 'Tongue?… !'

Zoro's asking for entrance so he can savor all of the chef's flavors fully; to savor Sanji fully. He opens his eyes, not realizing he had closed them, and watches his favorite blonde. He licks at his lip again, and blue eyes - well, eye - look up at him. He smiles into the kiss, running his tongue over Sanji's bottom lip once more when suddenly the visible eye grows wide and Sanji stiffens. 'Oh no.'

Sanji abruptly comes to his senses and everything becomes all too clear. 'Zoro… This is Zoro! I just kissed Zoro! Roronoa Fucking ZORO! He-his tongue! Shit! That was his tongue! His eyes flicked around the room, fists clenching, nails digging hard into Zoro's arms. 'Shit! We're still here! What the fuck are we doing!? God damn that fucking Foxy bastard! … Luffy. Shit!'

…0…

Zoro feels the blonde fall on him and pushes back keeping them upright. Once the blonde has righted himself he drops his arms and studies the blonde. Sanji is livid. It's obvious now that the blonde completely regrets what just happened and no doubt wants to forget. 'How can he do that? He obviously wants this too! Fucking womanizer, why won't he just stop fighting?' Zoro's brow furrows as he returns the glare and holds his ground. He's not about to submit to this irritating ero-cook.

Sanji hops on his toes, finding purchase, and straightens himself up. He looks up and finds two dark, pupil-blown eyes staring at him. Rage builds in him as he glares at the man, the MAN that kissed him, the MAN that wrapped his arms around him when he was vulnerable, the MAN that was supposed to be his crewmate, his friend, his nakama! He presses his forehead against the MAN - anger the only thing keeping him from kissing him again, 'Wait, what?! NO!' - and tries to let as much hate and anger he can conjure from his imagination - since he's never actually hated Zoro - show through his eyes.

Sanji lets out a growl and snarls at the bastard. There is only one thing that can be said now. "That was a close call, and nothing more!"

Zoro is thrown at the words, but he doesn't let it show. He only presses back into the blonde's force and grits out in return, "No argument here!"

They shove each other apart, a wide berth separating them and shoot daggers with their eyes. Sanji is the first to break eye contact to pull out a cigarette with shaking hands. "We better get going." is all he says before turning for the door. As he's snuffing the match out, Zoro shoves past him and makes his way into the lower deck's corridors. 'Che'

"You idiot! You have no idea where we're going!"

"Shut up, Baka Mayuge! I know where we are! They should be over here."

"Aho-Kenshin! This is the third time we passed Porche-chan's room! Stop leading, retard!"

Zoro twitches when he hears her name. Not because it's Porche, no, but because the cook is talking about a woman. 'Fucking ero-cook, can't stop thinking about women! Even after we… Rgh!' He has to stop thinking about it. Just the slightest thought would ... he doesn't need this. Not now.

He's shaken from his thoughts when they hear an explosion. Behind them a large flash of light shines through the hallway opposite Porche's room. "You dumbass! They're right there!" Sanji scolds as he runs toward the light. "I'm coming Nami-swan!"

Zoro suppresses the urge to throw the blonde overboard. 'This is going to be a long day.'

They hear a high pitch scream and low laughter coming from behind a door. "Kuso! Those bastards are harassing Nami-san! Get Your Hands Off Of Her, You Shitty Bast- eh… Usopp?"

Inside was a long narrow hallway and lying on a grate floor was the compulsive lying sniper who was currently out cold and being fondled by the dozens of men that dwell below the grating. "What the hell is going on?" Zoro questions. A hand wanders up through the floor and tried to grab him but he quickly smashes it under his boot, smirking when he hears the knuckles break under the force and the man yelp in pain. "Cook."

Sanji looks up at him to see that flicker in his eyes again. He knows instantly what the swordsman is implying. "Right." He lifts up a leg and smashes it down into the wooden floor, sending splinters and shards down into the Foxy Pirates arms and faces. "Get up, Usopp!"

Zoro jumps down into the pit of pirates and unsheathes his katanas. "You idiots should have known better." He grins evilly and sends a Tatsu Maki flying down the corridor. Sanji jumps down next to him and smirks at his handy work. "Let's do this, Marimo."

It doesn't take long to finish the Foxies. Most of them had escaped from another door, but one of them got stupid and had locked it from the outside, trapping the rest of his crewmates with the two Mugiwara Monsters. In less than a minute, the bastards are defeated and they climb back up to where Usopp is still lying on the floor.

"Idiot. What the hell was he doing? I thought he went with Nami and Luffy." Zoro shakes the blood off his blades with a flick of his wrists and smoothly returns them to their sayas. "Where'd they go anyway? Whatever. Let's go, Usopp." He reaches down and grabs the sniper by his nose and drags him out not before turning back and calling over his shoulder. "You coming, Mayuge?"

"Shut up! I'm leading this time." He says lighting another cigarette. "You'll only get us lost. Again."

"Che. What do you know, Guru Guru? I never get lost. Things just move!"

"Oh. Sure. Of course they do." he scuffs sarcastically. "Go on. Lead the way, then."

~20 minutes later~

"I can NOT believe you."

"Me? You were the one that went the wrong way."

"What?!" Sanji yells, kneeing Zoro in the back of the head. (How flexible is this idiot?) "You're the one leadi-! Wait. Are you admitting how stupid you are? Hehehe."

"Urusai. Hurry up and find a way out, Aho Lovelyn." he turns down another hallway. 'What is with this place?'

"Right, I'm the aho one." Rolling his eyes, Sanji follows the wandering swordsman.

Zoro adjusts his hold on Usopp, who is draped over his shoulder, and turns down a hallway before being yanked back onto the path Sanji set. Zoro looks to his left and sees a light. "Oi, what about that way?" he says pointing.

Sanji turns and hums in thought. "Let's go look." He comes up to the door and opens it to find a free fall drop into the sea off the ship's stern. "Holy shit! What is with your directional sense?! How do you never end up dead at the bottom of a ravine?!"

"Shyaddap, baka. We just need to go this way." He says walking away, unknowingly walking back the way they came.

'This fucking retard...' Rubbing his fingers into his forehead, Sanji follows. 'Why do I even bother?' Before they can walk any further a loud cry of defeat is heard on the other side of the wall opposite them. "Hold it, Marimo." Sanji shoots a leg out, reducing it to nothing but scrap firewood.

Zoro walks through the hole to find Luffy and Nami standing above a hogtied Foxy, Porche and Hamburg, the rest of the Foxies laying in a pile of limbs out on the main deck. "Look, you walk so slow we missed the fight."

Sanji can not believe the proud bastard. "My apologies, Marimo-dono*." he grits out sarcastically, vein twitching violently above his curled eyebrow. "I didn't realize you were a better navigator than our lovely Nami-san. Forgive me for holding you back. Please, after you." Being the mature guy that he is, Sanji sticks out his tongue at the swordsman's back as he mumbles a 'whatever' and drops the now awake Usopp - whom has gone into a rant of how his navigational skills had once saved Princess Brunhilde, a merchicken goddess, and her 50 sisters from their evil wizard father, whom flooded the kingdom and filled it with aquatic dinosaurs, on a boat he built with a pipe and candle*.

It's relieving to know that even after what had happened, they were able to fall right back into place and act normal around each other with no awkwardness whatsoever. Unless you count lip biting, sidelong glances and knocking elbows while they were making their way out of the Silver Foxy's labyrinth not awkward, then yeah. Perfectly normal. That is until he hears Foxy let Kibagaeru and his men rejoin his crew and all the Foxy Pirates run in for a group hug. A group of female Foxies glomp onto their Captain, cooing praises for his kind heart and generosity. He doesn't really care what those fox freaks do during their own time, as long as he doesn't have to watch an orgy transpire in front of him, but a familiar voice coos out and he sees the fucking ero-cook run towards the women, hoping to also be fawned over.

Zoro can't even begin to process the blonde's actions nor understand why he ever wanted to have anything to do with him. Sanji was a noodle dancing, heart spewing, womanizing duck disguised as a penguin. Whatever had come over the moron to kiss him back was obviously gone and irritated Zoro to no end. To think he had been attracted to him. It was amusing, though, to watch him cower slightly when Nami darkly reprimanded him for thinking he could waltz right over to the Foxy crew and get away with it.

The Mugiwaras boarded Merry, greeted by a smiling Robin and a beaming Chopper, who were asking how their party with the Foxies went. The two had stayed behind on the ship, the latter hiding from Porche, playing board games and such while they waited for the others to return. They said their farewells to Foxy who, in turn, offered Luffy the afro, which Nami promptly chucked overboard. "This afro has caused us enough problems! Sanji-kun! Hard to starboard*! We're leaving!"

"Bye bye, Ware-Atama!" Luffy calls out as their ship drifts off into the distance. "Don't lose your ship again! The Grand Line is a dangerous place!"

…

"Ne, Oyabin?" Porche says, standing behind Foxy as they watch the Going Merry fade into the distance. "Are we really going to let them go? Just like that?"

"Porche!" he exclaims, hands raised to his chest and mouth dropped out in offense. "I can't believe you! Do you really think that little of your beloved Captain?!" Porche, Hamburg and the rest of the crewmembers hang their heads in shame. They had really thought that- "I'm not just going to let all that gold go without a proper fight. And did you forget about our Jolly Roger, as well?" he added, pointing at the monstrosity of a sail Mugiwara had painted for them. Their eyes brighten at their Captain's lecherous grin. "YARO-DOMO*! Hoist anchor!" His men cheer and a cry of "aye"s floods across the ship. "Fefefefe! We're going after Mugiwara!"

"Yosh!" Nami jumps up from her seat on the forecastle. "That storm completely threw us off course, but I finally found out where we are and there looks to be a small island nearby where we can gather some supplies before he head to the next island." She gathers up her ring dial, sextant, charts, and other tools, packing them into a lacquer box and turns to the cook as she walks towards the storeroom. "Is that alright with you, Sanji-kun?"

As expected, the Love-Cook leaps at attention and noodle dances towards the door, twirling on his toes. "That sounds perfect, my wonderful Nami-swa~n!" He opens the door for her, which she half-heartedly thanks him for and he gushes out a stream of declarations of love, hearts fluttering up above his head. "You are so very welcome! And so smart and talented and-"

"And you're a yutz."

Sanji gets cut off and he turns around to find Zoro standing by the railing, pointedly not looking at him. "What was that, shit head?!" He's about to call him out on the insult but his jaw snaps shut when he sees the look on Zoro's face. It's only there for a split second before it disappears, replaced by the ever constant stoic stare as the swordsman walks up to the sterncastle deck and picks up his weights.

Sanji doesn't know what make of the look so he just cuts his eyes at Zoro's back before turning back to the navigator as she descends down the stairs to her cabin. "Where to, Nami-san? I'll steer to the ends of the earth for you, my love!" He adds with a thumbs up and a heart blistering out of his visible eye, not noticing Nami rolls her eyes and their Captain laughing at him.

They arrive late in the morning, and drop anchor by a plateau near shore. The crescent shaped island was not large in size, but the high rocky cliff sides and stretching peninsulas made for plenty of land area. Trees lined the beach and stretched up into the foothills. It appeared to be a spring island, but a few tropical fruit trees could be seen from the crowsnest.

Nami had informed them that though the island was large, the fact that it appeared to be uninhabited and from the lack of reaction from the Log Pose, the island had no magnetic field so they wouldn't need to worry about their log resetting and could stay as long as they needed until they got enough supplies for their journey. They had been really lucky that the pose set within the short time they were at the previous island.

"Yosha! Everyone go look for food, I'll stay here and set up the grill." Sanji says as he drags a large iron skillet across the gangplank*. A call of "aye"s from the three younger men ringing loudly in his ears as they charge past him and into the forest. The rest of the crew grabbed their fishing rods, sacks and other necessities they would need to gather fruit, vegetables and whatever wildlife they could catch. Nami objected to eating mice and frogs again (the first time being in Skypiea, much to her displeasure), which prompted the marimo to open his mouth.

"Come on, you're so fucking whiny." Zoro groans and shakes his head in disdain as he stands from his napping spot, making his way across the deck. "It all tastes fine when Guru Mayuge cooks i-egh!" His words were cut short when the ero-cook axe kicks him in the head then follows it with a flying back kick, sending him over the railing and crashing into the sand below.

Zoro shoots up, katanas ready to be drawn, but his hands freeze around the hilts when he sees the cook turned away from him as he casually lights a cigarette, no longer finding any sense in getting angry he straightens up and smirks lopsidedly. 'Especially when I get a nice view of that a-' he mental slaps himself, not wanting to head down that road. He slides Wado's two inches of exposed steel back into her saya and sighs in resign, casting Sanji one last glare before turning to follow the others to search of provisions.

As they trek through the trees and shrubbery, Zoro's mind wanders back to what had happened, confident his feet will keep him on the path. He had enjoyed that kiss, maybe a bit too much. Zoro wasn't up for theatrics or romance, but there was something there when their lips met. Not exactly a spark, but like smoldering coals that with a little bit of tending to, would grow into something scorching. But of course it had to go all kinds of wrong and whatever magic that had been there was gone. 'Jeez, when did I become such a sap?'

Until recently, he had never thought of what it would be like with the blonde, the guy was too straight for his own good. Never did he think he would have a chance to have something more with him than being nakama. They were just two friends that argued and squabbled daily.

He suppresses a laugh at that, he would have never called the cook his friend before. But if you had asked three hours ago and he were being honest, he would have said yes. Sanji was his friend. And judging from the way they acted around each other recently, when they worked together, argued with each other, shoved the other, just being together, he would have called the retard his best friend. But now, now things were complicated, and it was all thanks to that kiss.

'Ah, that kiss!' He shuts his eyes tightly and shakes his head.

"Zoro?" He's broughten out of his thoughts and looks down at the young boy/deer walking beside him. "Zoro, are you ok? You're not feeling sick, are you? Do you want me to bandage that bump on your head?"

Zoro raises a hand to tenderly rub the egg that blossomed after the cook has kicked him off the ship. It hurts but not as much as it normally would. Zoro was sure that Sanji had held back. "No, Chopper. I'm fine." He reassures him with a smile. "Just a little… exhausted."

"I don't see why. All you do is sleep and you barely did anything in the fight earlier." Nami nags from up ahead.

Zoro's about to back sass when he hears a rustle at his left and harshly shushs the group. He sees Chopper's nose twitch and eyes widen in understanding. "Goat." the doctor says quietly and Zoro grins menacingly. Drawing Sandai Kitetsu ever so slowly, it's thirst reverberating from his hand up through his veins and into his ears, he leaps forward into the bushes ready to strike. "Eh? Zoro, wait!" Chopper yells, but his warning comes too late and Zoro trips and falls off a low cliff, landing in the center of a clearing lined with mountain goats whom are glaring and bleating at him darkly. He's been ambushed.

Three goats charge at him from different angles, but he's quick and draws his other two katanas. He brings his arms up, ready to strike but a fourth goat catches him off guard from above and knocks him down. Chopper in Walk Point jumps next to him, locking horns with several of the goats, tossing them into the treeline; Usopp fires flash and tabasco stars from the cliff edge, blinding the goats while Nami blasts them away with a Cyclone Tempo. Robin, however, sits daintily up on a tree branch out of the way from the battle; watching her nakama fight chin in hand, ankles crosses and that ever present knowing smirk gracing her handsome* face, only intervening to pull her nakama out of a charging goat's path or to pick fruit from the nearby trees.

"Oi!" Three stars burst in three goats faces and the Mugiwaras turn towards the sniper. "Where the hell is Luffy?!" he yells in terror. In a panic, they do their best to fight off the raging goats as they frantically try to locate their Captain.

"Where did that idiot go!?" Nami screams, a phantom hand pops out of her shoulder and pushes against the tree she's leaning on, sending her to the side, just missing getting trampled by a baby goat. The kid crashes into the tree trunk and somersaults backwards. Nami looks down at it ready to defend herself when it starts to cry in pain. A bit too much pain. "Eh?"

Next to her, Chopper's ears twitch and blue noses sniffs the air. "The Mountain?" Abruptly, he turns and wails at the top of his lungs. "Minna! Run away! Something's coming!"

The ground quakes beneath their feet, leaves fall from the canopies above and a loud roar echoes and steadily grows. The goats around them scattered bleating in fear and cower behind the trees beneath Robin. The crew stand stock still in confusion and stare wide eyed at a thicket of trees ahead of them. A gravelly bellow rips through the air followed by jovious laughter and the forest crumbles. A white mountain goat half the size of their ship barrels through the forest, a trail of uprooted trees and boulders left in it's wake. The monster has a thick, black collar of fur billowing around it's neck, a stark contrast to it's snow white fleece, garnished by a large brass bell. It has thick, flat horns curving around it's skull, hook behind it's ears and nestled dead center between those horns is none other than Monkey D. Luffy.

"You guys!" Luffy calls down to them, one hand waving joyously and the other holding his strawhat down, preventing it from blowing away as the colossal caprid bucks wildly. "Look! He's like a real life Merry-Go! Omoshiroi*!"

"My," Robin quips from her perch. "what a remarkable specimen."

"Luffy, you jackass!" Nami screams at him. "What the fuck are you doing?!" Around them the other goats bleat in a frenzy, several of them running in circles while the others try to hide themselves behind the pirates, one of them nearly knocking the red hair down. "Chopper, what's going on?"

"It's their alpha, he's gone rogue." Chopper explains. A young kid jump up and rest it's forehooves on the doctor's shoulders. "'Please, you must run away quickly. He's destroyed half the forest and drove us away from the mountains! Get away as fast as you can!' she says."

"Rogue?!" Usopp cries, "As in feral and very dangerous?!"

"Sei'ni-san? Is there a way you could speak with the alpha male?" Robin asks calmly as she comes down from the tree branch, her hana hands acting as steps.

Chopper shakes his head, "No. Once an animal goes rogue, it separates itself from its herd and there's no saving it. It seems that though he has left them, he still comes back to terrorize the flock. It'll only get worse if we leave him be. There were a few rogue Lapahns back on Drum Island that Doctorine and I had to put down because they were attacking villagers. It was horrible, but it had to be done."

"Y-You mean we have t-to…" Usopp doesn't finish his sentence, face draining of color at the thought alone.

"Yes."

"So Dekai-Yagi* went crazy." Luffy says, breaking the silence that had settled between them. The crew look up at their captain sitting calmly on the now settled down buck whose hooves scrape into the earth, prepared to charge at any moment and steam snorting from its nostrils. "Well… Yeah?" they return only to watch the raven haired captain stretch his head down, meeting the beast's gaze with an seriousness that rarely graces his face. "Oi, yagi. What are you stupid or something? You're the king of goats! You're not supposed to hurt your followers! What's wrong with you?!" He throws a fist back, reaching about 27 Gomus* and slams it back right in between its slitted eyes.

"AHO~!"

Sanji nonchalantly smokes a cigarette as he watches the green haired swordsman walk away through a veil of blonde hair. He's slightly piqued when he sees a scowl flicker across Zoro's face; it was too weak to be menacing, similar to the look the man had earlier on the ship. Sanji was at a loss. At first he thought the swordsman was merely worried that if all they found were rodents and vermin, Nami-san wouldn't eat, so he tried to convince her that no matter the animal, Sanji would be able to make it edible and delicious.

'Oh, who am I kidding?' Sanji scoffs as he drags the skillet to shore. 'That oaf? Worried about Nami-san? Sure! On the day I wear a shitty pink dress!' Dropping his grill onto the beach, he tries not to dwell on the matter and sets off to gather firewood, but his mind just isn't on his side today.

As he walks over angular slabs of stone, effortlessly balancing as he piles stick after stick into his arms, he spots a fallen tree trunk laying on the grassy forest floor in a patch of sun, and stops. It's a short narrow log, about a quarter the thickness of Merry's mast, some force of nature had stripped parts of its deep brown bark revealing the golden wood underneath, letting it glow in the rays. One of its ends was covered with a thick patch of light green moss and Sanji couldn't help but smile at how much it resembled Zoro. He can immediately imagine the Marimo sleeping in that same spot snoring the day away, hair blending in perfectly with the ground, gold earrings glittering in the sunlight. He briefly wonders what it would be like to lay down next to the Zorolog, or better yet, with the man himself. 'Surely, it would be very nice.'

He picks up a stick and whacks himself in the opposite shoulder, hard. 'God, what is wrong with me?! I shouldn't be feeling this way. This is Zoro we're talking about. ZORO!' He wipes a hand across his face then through his hair and walks back to camp. 'And what was with that look?'

After he had licked Zoro off the deck, the green head had given him an uncharacteristic gaze. To anyone else, he looked indifferent, like the swordsman was bored and didn't have a care in the world about the things going on around him. But Sanji wasn't just anyone. He knew the man enough to know what those little slips meant, those little instances he showed emotion, like when he tries to contain his laughter during one of Usopp's crazy stories, or the gentle smile in his eyes he nearly fails to hide whenever he's with Chopper. This look, there was a subtle softness in his ever permanent scowl that made it look like a genuine frown. A downward turn in the corner of his dark eyes. Sanji saw the slow, heavy rise in the man's chest that could only be a suppressed sigh and though he had never seen Zoro like this before, he recognized the emotion. It was a mixture of hurt and disappointment.

'The shitty bastard was complaining again and deserved to get kicked.' Or at least that's what he keeps trying to remind himself. What he couldn't convince himself was that he had just been hearing things before he threw his foot into Zoro's head.

"It all tastes fine when Sanji cooks it."

"What was that?! That was practically a compliment!" Sanji exclaims loudly, dropping his load into the sand and throws his hands into his hair, aggressively ruffling it till it stands on end, though the fringe covering his eye strangely stays down if only slightly tussled. Zoro never said anything more about his cooking than being ok, but "tasting fine"? He just basically admitted that he liked the food Sanji cooked. Of course, Sanji already knew how much Zoro enjoyed his food, as everyone did, there was nothing better out there; except maybe from Zeff. It was no longer a secret between the two of them. Zoro didn't have to tell him for him to know, Sanji had told him that much last night. But Zoro had said it aloud, and in front of the others no less. "It was a fucking confession!"

'Ok, wait. Stop right there.' he takes a deep breath and pokes at the slowly burning embers he just lit. Zoro had not confessed anything. Saying his cooking was fine didn't reveal anything, it was just a statement, just like always. It wasn't meant as anything more than that. Sanji was merely overthinking things. He surely wasn't putting words into the other man's mouth and hearing what he wanted to hear.

It's not like he want Zoro to confess. 'Confess to what?!' He didn't want that, he didn't want the man to tell him he liked him-his cooking! 'My cooking!' That not what he wants to hear. Why would that make him happy? Why would he want that marimo bastard to say he likes him-his food! 'Dammit! Stop thinking like that! FUCK! I don't want Zoro to like m-

He hears a loud wail in the distance but doesn't pay it any heed. If anything were to happen, Zoro would be more than enough to handle it. Throwing more wood into the pit, he chuckles lowly to himself when he easily figures out what had happened. "Luffy did something stupid again." Sitting down next to the slowly growing fire, Sanji leans in to light a fresh stick. 'Zoro may be an idiot, but he's capable of protecting the others.'

He throws his poker down in frustration and shoves a hand into his pocket to pull out his cigarettes. After several broken matches, the cook leans forward, putting the tip of his stick into the fire careful not to singe his hair, and inhales deeply, letting the squats down, resting his elbows onto his knees and gives in to his pestering brain.

His thumb rubbing slow circles into his palm, he remembers the warmth emitting from the man's body, how safe he had felt in his arms. He remembers his lips and how soft they had felt, which was surprising since the pig rarely ever bathed. Normally, living on a ship gave one dry salt crusted skin, Sanji had learned that the hard way when he was a kid. The marimo must being doing something to take care of himself since he usually spends most of his time out on deck training or sleeping. But when Sanji thought about it, the man did take care of his body, in a sense. He trains endlessly; mind, body and spirit, to the point he's able to control almost all of his movements to a miniscule degree (when they were leaving Alabasta, Sanji had overheard Luffy telling Chopper Zoro learned how to cut through steel and defeated that Mr. 1 guy). But the only times the idiot didn't even bother was when he trained himself into a coma, refused to eat or purposely let himself get hurt.

Sanji's stomach twists at the memory of one of those instances. He nearly lost his lunch when he saw Mihawk cleave Zoro in two. He had just met the infamous Pirate Hunter of East Blue and was wanting to hear his stories after he learned he wasn't the crazed man the rumors made him out to be. And as much as he didn't like the idea of leaving his home, he knew he would have ended up joining Luffy and becoming crewmates with the others, so it crushed him a little to think that he had lost a future nakama, a potential friend, that was why he screamed at Zoro, for him to give up and not throw his life away. Zoro had been so stupid and Sanji felt like a boulder fell into the pit of his stomach as he watched the swordsman give himself to the Shichibukai.

But the idiot didn't die. He survived and now had to live with that horrendous scar stretching across his body. Sanji had finally stopped wincing everytime he saw it when they entered the Grand Line, only to be replaced by a new cringe whenever he saw Zoro without his shoes on. Dumbass bastard tried to cut his own legs off! Shaking his head hard, Sanji tried not to remember the incident on Little Garden. That was something he didn't want to relive or ever do again. But knowing his crew, it was hopeless to expect otherwise.

Sanji snuffs his spent cigarette out into the sand next to the others and lights another, poking at the flames with his stick. With a heavy sigh he rests his forehead onto his crossed forearms and stares at the yellow sand. No matter how hard he tries, he just can't stop thinking about Zoro. Zoro and the kiss. And the fact that he had kissed Zoro. It had only bothered him initially, when he realized what was happening. His mind had been screaming no no no! But when their lips finally met, he had felt something not unlike a reassurance, like everything was fine and it was okay to be there, standing in another man's arms, lips meshed together, right there in the middle of the room for the whole world to see and his body couldn't help but scream back yes, more! Zoro had pulled him in, just as eager about the situation as he was, and it's only then does he realize that maybe Zoro was going through inner turmoil as well. That maybe Zoro is feeling and thinking the same things right now, about him, about their kiss, about doing it again. There's something churning and tightening in his chest at the memory and he's worried he might have come to a conclusion about his feelings, but before the thought can even come to him, a call from behind brings him back to where he's sitting on the beach staring at the fire before him.

He looks up to see the others return, arms and sacks full of fish and and other goodies. 'They're back already?' Sanji looks up at the sun and frowns. The crew had been gone for a mere hour and he had been so lost in his thoughts he had completely lost track of time, staring aimlessly at his now dwindling fire. Throwing more logs in, he stands to greet his crewmates. "How was the haul?"

"Sanji!" Luffy calls, a little louder than necessary. "We fought this gi~ant goat monster but I kicked its ass and we got meat! Shihihihi!"

"A goat?"

"Yeah! It went looney and ruled over the other goats with an iron hoof! I got to ride on his head, too! He was just like Merry!" Luffy laughs jovially, earning him a fist to the head from Nami.

"We wouldn't have had any trouble if you hadn't have gone and provoked it!"

"Aw~, but Nami." their childish Captain whines, "It was so much fun."

"Yeah, well, your fun got us hurt!" With a huff, the navigator stomps over the blanket she spread out on the beach before they left and drops her load of bananas and pineapples, all the while mumbling under her breath about rubber idiots and putting normal human lives in danger.

Chopper and Robin present to him their findings of peaches and pumpkins. Hefty bags of various kinds of berries in their arms are brought back to the ship for later use. He finds it strange that such a small, uninhabited island can have such a wide variety of vegetation, perhaps past visitors had planted seeds knowing the weather would be ideal for summer and winter crops.

Zoro approaches and he has to stifle a giggle at the fleshy egg left behind by his kick is still blooming on top of the idiot's grass head. Zoro glares at his smug smile and unintentionally rubs at the lump before handing him the sack which the cook accepts it, neither of them drawing attention to their touching fingers that may have lingered a bit longer than considered casual. Not meeting his gaze, Sanji opens the bag to find nicely severed cuts and fights back a smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth. 'Grasshopper is a fast learner. Sensei is proud.'

"That's it?" he grunts out instead. "I thought Luffy said the thing was huge?"

"It was, but Luffy beat the shit out of it and ruptured one of its organs. Even though I drained the blood out, I still had to cut around it to get the good meat." Zoro shrugs lopsidedly.

Sanji looks up at him suspiciously. "How do you know that? I thought yesterday was the first time you ever butchered something properly."

"You told me." Zoro says simply, shrugging again and staring off to the side.

Sanji looked at him confused. He couldn't remember when he had ever said anything of the sort to the swordsman. Thoroughly curious, he presses the matter. "I did? When?"

"A while back. I remembered it yesterday when you nearly hurled your guts out. I… remember everything you say. Hell, I remember every single one of Usopp's stories. It's a thing, I guess. Remembering." He hesitates before adding quickly.

"I see." Sanji turns away Zoro, tucking the information into the back of his mind, and digs deeper into the bag. Beneath the cuts of rack, shoulder and loin he finds a dehorned and skinned goat head. He jerks his head back up to stare wide eyed at the man but Zoro had turned away from him, picking through the fruits scattered across the blanket. Sanji watches his Adam's apple slowly bob up and down. The cook's mouth curls inward, whether in nervousness or to conceal a weak smile he isn't sure, but he nods his thanks anyway before going back to the grill.

Zoro had done a pretty good butchering the goat, even with his swords. Hell, even the head was skinned perfectly. The cuts are clean and even with no lingering bone fragments. Which was surprising given the fact that Luffy's fists were known to reduce any form of structure to rumble in second, broken ribs and fractured skulls no different, neither of which were found in the satchel. He throws some butter onto his skillet before grabbing his whetstone to sharpen his knives, slicing the rack and loin into equal portions. As they sizzle away, he cuts up some peaches, pineapple and pumpkins, and throws them on the barbeque as well.

Zoro watches Sanji work as he chugs down his grog, the shit-cook moving with grace and finesse, a happy little smile plastered on his face, lost in his own little world where it's just him and the food. The uneasy feeling in his stomach from before settles and Zoro can't help but smile a little bit as well.

The sound of sizzling meat, clinking mugs and laughter fill the air as the Mugiwaras celebrate their victory over the Grand Line's treacherous storms, the Foxy Pirates fruitless attack and the wrath of the giant goat. Luffy is stuffing his face while Usopp retells his over exaggerated version of their battle against the "Rogue Mountain", Chopper laughing full heartedly beside him, while Nami and Robin sit on a near by boulder sipping on their drinks. The party comes as the perfect distraction for the two fighters, both of them preoccupied, though every once in a while their eyes would briefly meet before darting away to busy themselves with refillings plates and mugs.

Apparently, after Luffy had punched the giant goat in the face, it went into an all out rage, bucking and thrashing about, digging up the earth. The more normal sized goats ran for cover, crying out in fear, the pirates close behind. After running their lungs dry, they had lost sight of the Rogue Mountain (as the goats had taken to calling him) and found themselves deep in the heart of the island by a lake full of fish. They fished till their pails were full while Chopper and Robin tended to those injured during the encounter, one of them being Usopp as he was trampled by the frightened goats. Repeatedly. As thanks, the goats showed them where they could find a natural garden where onions, wild carrots and other root crops grew but sadly, most of the land had been uprooted, the garden unfortunately being in the path of the raging ruminant, and there wasn't much produce left to harvest. As they were walking back to the beach, Luffy had spotted the Rogue Mountain and aggravated it as he tried to ride on it again, prompting a battle.

Seeing it best to rid the island of the beast as soon as possible, Luffy & Zoro swiftly put the animal down with a series of punches from Luffy's Gattling and a quick Gazami Dori* by Zoro, which severed it's head and allowing the goats to return to their home in the mountains. After a short farewell, they head back to Merry, arms filled with meat, fruits and vegetables.

Nami calls everyone's attention and points down at the map she has unfurled on the boulder. "According to this, there's an island a couple days away. If we leave tonight we'll get there the morning after tomorrow. We'll gather more food again later so we should be fine even if the wind's not in our favor. So," she turns towards Luffy, "what do you think, Sencho?."

He ponders the information and swallows his mouthful before beaming up at the navigator. "OK! We sail tonight!"

Usopp is scolding Luffy for eating too much food at one time, the stock they just gathered sadly diminishing quite quickly, when a loud sloshing in the water draws the crew's attention to a giant red crab emerging from the waves. With a groan the crewmembers shake their heads in disdain. The Foxy idiot just won't give up. They're prepared to ignore them and only fight if they become a bother when their own idiot speaks up and cheers in amazement, oblivious to the fact that the crab is obviously a mecha and from the giant windows on its body, who's inside operating it.

Luffy jumps, ready to claim his third oyatsu* of the day but the crab is fast and retaliates. A muffled cry of Kani Kani* Punch is heard and the machine throws a claw down at him. Within the cloud of kicked up sand, Luffy grabs onto the beast and chucks the crab into a few palm trees where it explodes and metal shards fall from the sky pelting innocent bystanders and the three operators.

The Straw-Hat captain finally realizes that the crab was a fake, all thanks to Nami beating the information into his rubbery head with her fists, and joins his nakama in a lively party of ignoring the three intruding pirates. Sanji, being the experienced chef that he is has plates piled high with today's lunch special ready even before the lovely Porche mentions her hunger to her captain.

"Ooh, this is so good, I feel like my cheeks are melting!" she squees out in delight. "Cook-san, please come sail on our ship".

Sanji noodle dances in joy, twitching and hopping around on his toes at the invitation, speechless as he is torn between joining her and the other lovely ladies aboard the Silver Foxy and leaving his precious Nami-swan and Robin-chan behind. Yet again Zoro is left to watch, vein ticking in his temple in irritation and maybe a bit of jealousy as well.

"Why don't you just leave? I'd be happy, too."

As the Foxies eat their lunch, Porche calls her crewmates with her den den mushi and informs them of their captain's failed attempt at revenge and that they needed to be picked up. The barbeque disappears much quicker than expected with the arrival of the Foxies and Luffy sudden I-was-moving-around-a-lot-so-now-I'm-really-hungry malady. The Silver Foxy arrives and two members sail to shore in a smaller boat, dragging the still out cold Ware-Atama in by his split head and set sail.

"Cook-san! Sayonara*! Everything was delicious! Porche had a great time!" the blue haired woman calls back to shore.

"Take care of yourself okay~, Porche-chwan~!" Sanji returns, arms waving frantically above his head, eyebrow swirled into a little heart.

From beside him, Zoro stands bored with his arms crossed over his chest. "Are you sure you don't want to go with her?"

"Baka! If I left, who would prepare Nami-san and Robin-chan's food?"

Zoro turns his head slightly to glare at him sidelong. Sanji holds his gaze, but a pang of guilt curdles slightly in his stomach when he recognizes a well hidden disappointment behind Zoro's mask. Before either of them could think of something to say, the tension that had settled over them is broken when Nami calls for them to hurry along and help them scavenge for more food, as they were all still hungry, no thanks to Luffy and surprisingly to Porche and Hamburg as well.

They're walking along the trail they followed earlier, retracing their steps back to the clearing when they first encountered the Rogue Mountain and gather undamaged fruit from the fallen trees before heading to the lake. The lake waters glisten in the afternoon sun, butterflies flutter around the reeds. The scene is so beautiful and the air is so fresh, Sanji can't help but think that this would be a great place to bring one of the ladies for a date. Unconsciously, Sanji turns to look behind him and finds the man he was expecting to find gone. He lets out an aggravated groan and frustratedly puts out his cigarette.

"What's wrong, Sanji?" Usopp queries from where he's sitting on the bank, fingers caught in an elaborate knot as he tried to untangle his fishing line.

"Does anything seem off to you? Like we're forgetting something?"

Usopp looks up and studies the love-cook's irritated face before scanning his surroundings.

"AH! Zoro's missing!"

"What?!" Nami calls from under a tree where Chopper and Robin are gathering worms for bait, not like she'll be touching them in this lifetime. "That idiot! Sanji-kun! Go look for him!"

"Hai! Nami-san~!" He twirls away into the treeline before his strides return to normal walking and lights a cigarette.

He can't, for the life of him, understand why Zoro gets lost so easily. If the man remember's everything he's heard or seen, then how the fuck can't he remember basic directions?

'Maybe it's only things that interest him?' Sanji wonders. But no, that can't be right. Zoro said he remembers everything the cook says, does that mean that he finds him interesting?

'Iya, iya, iya*. Not possible.' Sanji waves a hand in front of him, completely dismissing the idea. Not like he wants the swordsman to be interested in him anyway.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he instead takes in the scenery around him. The forest is lush and peaceful, but the occasional line of wreckage slightly ruins the serenity. The giant goat must have been one powerful monster. He glances around and finds no fleece or horn of any goats in the area, 'Must have all gone home up in the mountain.'

It doesn't take him long to find the green-haired waif, who's sitting against a tree, eyes closed and snoring like a tug boat.

"Oi, Marimo, get the fuck up." He kicks at the sleeping swordsman's feet, snot bubble popping as he does so and the man cracks an eye open to glare at him.

"Oh. It's just you." he remarks and settles down more against the tree roots.

"The hell is that supposed to mean, konoyaro?"

"Nothing. So, what? You guys got lost again? Mattaku."

Sanji suppresses the raging urge to kick the idiot's face and flicks his spent coffin nail near his head instead. Deeming the slight flinch by the marimo fit justice, his shoulders relax and nods his head.

"Ikuzo. The other's are waiting." Without thinking, he extends his hand out which Zoro reluctantly grabs, but when he tries to help the man up the arm's limp in his hand and the body attached to it barely budges. He pulls at his again, Zoro's back arching slightly before dropping back against the tree with a thud.

Sanji glares at the shit eating grin plastered across Zoro's face, the man not even having the decency to mask. Zoro obviously thinks that because of Sanji's lithe frame and the fact that he doesn't fight with his hands means that he lacks significantly in upper body strength. 'This shitty bastard.' Sanji digs his heels into the dirt, grasping Zoro's hand with both of his and a solid pull is enough to bring the surprised man stumbling to his feet.

In his state of shock, Zoro fails to support himself and nearly topples onto Sanji, their chests and faces inches apart. The victorious grin falls from Sanji's face, an emotionless gaze taking its place and warily stares back at the swordsman. Their breaths mingle together in their closeness, heat radiates off of Zoro's chest and seeps through Sanji's suit jacket and into his. Zoro's stomach does a little flip-flop, heedless to Sanji's doing its own series of gymnastics. He watches as Sanji's neck and ears redden and he can feel his own cheeks start to heat up.

Sanji slips his hands out of Zoro's weak grip and stuffs them into his pockets. Stepping aside he clears his throat and starts to head back towards the lake.

"C'mon, Marimo. And stay close, don't want you getting lost again."

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. They're back at the beach enjoying their second lunch/early dinner. Sanji does his best to avoid Zoro, but his unrelenting mind bringing him back to the day's various event, those specifically revolving around the marimo.

Sanji walks off from his post at the grill to a cluster of rocks between camp and the ship and sits down in the sand. He gazes at his nakama, laughing and chatting together. Usopp and Nami are playing cards with Robin acting as the dealer, Chopper nestled in her lap as he attentively tries to learn the art of poker. Luffy is up a tree doing God knows what and Zoro is by the fire napping.

Sanji stares at the grill, or more specifically at the nonexistent meat that was sizzling on it earlier. Zoro had brought him back the goat head along with the cuts, a kind gesture he supposes, but Sanji isn't sure if he should take it as a peace offering of some kind or what, but it's plain to see that Zoro had gone out if his way to deliver the offal. The blonde hides a smile as he lights up a cigarette and leans back against the rock, his brain conjuring up an image of a cat bringing a dead rat to its master as a trophy of its victory. Not that Zoro is like a cat or that he can claim ownership over the man, but it's funny picturing the gruff swordsman with green ears poking out of his equally green hair and a long tail swishing behind him.

Pushing the silly thought aside, he returns his gaze to the sleeping moss-head, momentarily reminded of the log he had found while gathering firewood.

Sanji can't begin to understand the new found feelings he's experiencing towards the man. They have been sailing for several weeks now, living together on the same ship, sharing every meal with the rest of the crew, day in and day out, never saying any a word, nor batting an eyelash or even double taking to the other to indicate something more than simple nakamaship. But now? Now Sanji has started to harbor some unexplained feelings for the man. What this feelings mean he doesn't know, unsure if he even wants to know, but all he can say is that an accidental kiss as changed his whole view of the swordsman and that he is seriously starting to question himself.

Sanji, ass kicking, woman loving, first class chef, one third of the (claimed by Usopp) Monster Trio, has feelings for a man.

'Oh, God.' suddenly realizing, dread drips down his face and back in buckets. 'I like a man.' Shooting upright, he throws his hands into his hair and feels a panic attack spreading through his body.

'W-w-what the fuck?! I can't like a guy! I love women! Women are lovely, beautiful creatures whom deserve to be pampered and treated lovingly. Women are angels! Goddesses! They are the ones I love! Not men! I'm not ga-'

Sanji falters at the thought. Could he be gay? Never in his life has he ever doubted his sexuality, he was straighter than (analogy). God forbid he was gay! '... Not that there's anything wrong with being gay.' he corrects himself. He had grown up on a ship with only male staff on board and though most of the men that would sail out to the nearest island when supplies were needed would indeed seek female companionship, it wasn't unheard of for some of the chefs to hook up with each other. There had been, in fact, quite the few couples on board the Baratie, though not many. None of the other staff had any problems towards such relations, and Owner Zeff wasn't going to fire capable cooks just because of who they shared their beds with.

Sanji knew of same sex relationships and, yes, he didn't have a problem with other people's preference, he just never thought he would want to be in one of them. He was a ladies man, women were all he could think about. Women were beautiful, and elegant. They were modest and graceful, they had soft fragrant skin, silky flowing hair, and when they were strong and capable in a fight like Nami and Robin, their beauty increased tenfold. Just thinking about his two lovely crewmates made him hot under the collar. No man could ever do that for him. Right?

Sanji folds his legs under him and stares down at the yellow sand. 'Could I be attracted to men as much as I am with the ladies?' He takes a breath and imagines all of the men he's known in his life; there were the chefs from the restaurant, 'Egh'. He had met Johnny and Yosaku, 'Meh'. Then the fishmen-'Shit no!' The marines they've battled, some looked decent, some not, but all of them doing nothing for Sanji's attraction. The citizens of Cocoyashi, Drum, Alabasta, Skypiea, the saru brothers, the Foxies, even Luffy and Uso-'No. No, no, no no nononono!'

The blush he had gotten from the girls has now turned into a sickly green. 'Jeez, that was worse than getting electrocuted by that shitface god.' Sanji lets out a sigh and lights a new stick, the nicotine doing wonders for his churning stomach and setting his mind at ease. 'Okay, so...not gay.' But then why had that kiss flustered him so much and why was he blushing like a teenage girl whenever he thought of Zoro. 'Zoro.' Thinking the man's name alone makes the butterflies flutter in his belly, and it dawns on him. 'Maybe... Maybe it's just Zoro.'

He closes his eyes and images of the swordsman fighting flash into his mind. Zoro's charging forward and slices a foe down, he lowers his arms and firmly grips his katanas' hilts.

Sanji can feel his heart beat a little bit faster in his chest. 'Okay, so maybe he has really good fighting skills.'

Zoro's fingers flex, turning the blade in his hands, thumbs rubbing tenderly along the leather binds. His teeth grind into the hilt of his white sword, pink lips wrap themselves around it to stop a dribble of saliva from drooling out the corner of his mouth.

Sanji swallows thickly and a shiver ripples through his spine. 'And maybe he's a little intimidating.'

A quick twist of his hips and Zoro sends a flying Tastu Maki that plows down the black silhouetted foes. Katanas spin in his hands before angling forward and slightly up. Oddly, the black sword in Zoro's left hand thickens and his hand gently caresses the handle.

Sanji hums lowly and shifts in his seat.

The black katana morphs into a long, black something and the green haired man's hand glides up to where the black something bends at a right angle, the shape thickening even more. His hand journeys upward, curving around something soft and round before slipping up over a silver chain and studded belt and into a black suit jacket.

A low guttural moan chokes out of Sanji's throat and his eyes shoot open. He finds himself curled into his upright knees, arms wrapped around his stomach, fingers digging into his back, into the same places he had imagined the other's fingers trailing. As he straightens up, he finally takes notice to the painful tightness in his pants.

"Sanji, are you alright?"

He's broken out of his musings by Chopper's concerned voice and looks up to find the whole crew looking at him, apparently even at the distance he is from the crew he had moaned loud enough for them to hear. His face reddens considerably and his face contorts at the realization that he had been making noise, he wonders what else they had heard.

"I-uhh..." He darts his eyes away from the small doctor's stare and ends up locking eyes with he now awake Zoro. 'Oh, shit. He heard me too.' The marimo is leering at him, as if scrutinizing his actions and Sanji feels his face heat up even more at the thought that Zoro had figured out what he had been doing and was judging him for it. Force of habit makes him return the stare with a heated glare. He scrambles to his feet, pulling his untucked shirt down over the front of his pants hoping it to be enough to conceal his state and runs off the ship, calling out an 'it's nothing, I'm fine.' hastily over his shoulder.

He rushes across the deck and into the bathroom, locking the door behind and slams the toilet seat lid down before nearly ripping off his pants, relieving his member from its confines. He's in a state of half panic and half burning desire as he grabs hold of himself, images of Zoro careening through his vision. A montage of Zoro out on deck doing his katas, weight lifting, pulling up the anchor, cutting down a marine and even sleeping out on deck plays in his mind, pathetically putting himself into the scene; laying beneath him as the swordsman does push ups or straddling his lap where he's leaning against the mast. The images continue flashing behind his closed eyes and the last thing he sees before everything goes white is a close up of Zoro's smiling face.

Breaths evening out, heartbeat slowing to a normal pace, Sanji stares down at the mess that's spilled all over his hands and frowns.

"Shit. I-I'm ... I'm gay for Zoro."

The swordsman watches as Sanji runs off onto Merry like a bat out of hell, glaring at his back before he disappears into the storeroom. 'Asshole cook wakes me up from my nap and has the gall to get mad at me? Fucking prick.' He sits up to grab his mug to find it empty.

"I wonder what's wrong with Sanji-kun." Nami ponders as she throws several chips into the pile.

"Who cares? Let him deal with his own problems." the swordsman says, grabbing a random bottle of sake from the blanket.

"Well," Chopper quips up as he shuffles through his cards, confident enough to participate in the game. "we have been eating a lot of red meat lately. I wouldn't be surprised if he's have digestive problems. I'll have to talk to him about adding more fiber into our diets. Especially, you, Luffy." he pointedly adds as he calls Nami's bet before suddenly folding his hand. Robin informs him of his actions, causing him to cry out an excuse of not exactly understanding the rules and to please let him back into the game.

The others get into a debate of whether or not the cook has been preparing a balanced diet or not, which Chopper confirms that Sanji has, but the little doctor is the one that eats the majority of the more nutritious parts of the meal - being an animal himself, he doesn't eat much meat - and that the rest of them are too busy protecting their meat from their captain that everyone forgets to eat their recommended serving of vegetables.

Zoro tunes them out and settles down, sipping from his bottle of what's turned out to be whiskey as he watches the sun nearing the horizon. They'll be leaving soon, off on to another island for another adventure, to get caught up in the excitement of new journeys, and then maybe this day would be all but remembered and he and Sanji could get back to their normals lives without an air of caution enveloping them.

But god, had Zoro enjoyed that kiss. He wishes he could do it again, to just walk over to the sexy blonde, grab him by the back of his neck and smash their lips together, to relish in the hot glow of lust and ravish the man. But that would never happen, not again. Sanji wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole, let alone his lips. A heavy lump of hurt and disappointment settles in his gut and he tries to wash it away with a large gulp from his long neck, draining half of the liquor in one go.

Zoro never had a problem with rejection before, a fair number of people had declined his advances, a few he even had the courage to flirt with himself, but the thought of almost having Sanji and not getting to, really struck deep. He supposes its because it's so close to home (quite literally, actually) and if they start something it would make things awkward on the ship, even more so if they didn't work out. A nauseous churning pulls in his stomach at that. He would dread it if their relationship fell apart.

'Heh, relationship.' He chuckles to himself, guzzling the rest of his bottle and throwing it aside. That'd be something, him and the guru-cook in a relationship. Ha! Like that'd ever work out beautifully. He can imagine it already. Every morning he'd wake up with a boot in the face, then they'd fight and break things. As punishment, he and the cook would have to do chores together and end up having a different kind of fight, the outcome being the same as always with no victor and both of them exhausted. He hopes that he could get first taste of all of the chef's latest creations, but he guesses that he's already been getting them, if last night had anything to say for it. Then maybe he could steal a few kisses here and there when the others aren't looking.

Zoro looks up at the pink and orange sky, a few stars litter the sky and the moon's glowing bright. He thinks that maybe at the end of the of day they could lay together under Nami's mikan trees and watch the night sky and maybe fall asleep in each other's arms. It doesn't sound that bad, though. Hell, it actually sounds damn near perfect.

'But that's never going to happen.' coming to a sad conclusion he runs his hands over his slightly numb face, the alcohol doing its job to his body but not his senses, and tries to quell the ache spreading in and around his ribs.

'Ah damn. I've fallen for him.'

With everything packed up on the ship, the Mugiwaras continue on their journey across the Grand Line.

The crew scurries around the ship, Zoro raises the anchor, Usopp and Chopper unfurl the sails, Sanji safely securing all their food stock away to prevent another mishap, Robin's numerous arms doing anything and everything to speed up the process with Nami barking orders to the crew. Luffy's up on the figurehead when he catches sight of a flock of white and grey near the corner of the mountain side. He calls out and waves to the goats, who return with their own bleating farewell to their heroes, as they sail away into the sunset.

Sanji's smoking by the railing, watching the island disappear in the slowly darkening sky. The sun has completely dropped off into the sea but the sky is still bright with the hazy peach glow that illuminates this side of the globe. It's a lovely view and he's curious if Usopp's noticed. Maybe the artist could preserve the image onto canvas and hang it up in the galley. He rests his elbows onto the white wood, leaning over the water. The rainbow colored waves splash up against the hull. The world is so beautiful and exciting, a bit dangerous, but in a wonderful adventurous way.

A sense of loneliness flows through him and he silently wonders if there was someone who would love to share this moment of beauty with him. He absently turns his eyes slightly to his left and through his fringe he sees Zoro up on the foredeck, mirroring his position against the railing and watching the sunset. Somehow, the green moss face notices him staring, and looks over to him. Sanji doesn't move, knowing that if he did it'd only prove he was watching the man, even if it had only been briefly. Zoro watches him for another moment or two before smiling sheepishly and turning back to the sunset, his shoulders now loose from the tension Sanji didn't notice had been there before.

Sanji stares back at the water, the sky is only half lit now and it's getting darker by the minute, pondering whether or not he should say something to Zoro.

Author Notes and Glossary

The island they landed on was Goat Island, minus Zenny. He's busy in Water 7 collecting Paulie's debt XD I was listening to Otep and Rammstein while finishing this ^_^ who cares? :P

Also EiC Sinn says I can't say "gay". Quote unquote 'you can't use the "g" word, that's a big no no, say fruit bat, queer steer, fanny bellhop, Anal Buccaneer, Arse bandit, Butt pirate, Peter Puffer etc.' You're joking right?

Going Merry-Go - go means "issue" or "number". Refers to any thing that has been christened a name. Such as ships/vehicles (Merry, Sunny, everything in the channels), Battle Frankies, the Ox Bell, Ratchet's mecha suits, etc.

Minna - everyone, 'you' plural. Anata tachi - same. Omae - rude/masculine 'you'. Omaera - plural

Okite - from okiru. Wake up

Helm - the steering gear of a ship. The Going Merry's helm is a "whipstaff" or a "steering pole" with a sheep's head located in the galley.

Lateen - triangular sail set on a long yard mounted at an angle on the mast. The striped sails aft* of the mainmast on both Going Merry and Thousand Sunny are lateens.

Aft - towards the stern/rear of the ship. The sterncastle deck can also be called the aftdeck.

Ware-Atama - Split-Head aka Silver Foxy.

Consommé - richly flavored stock that has been clarified.

Kibagaeru - 'kiba'+'gaeru' = 'fang'+'frog' Captain of the Kiba Gaeru Kaizoku Dan.

Shinken Shirahadori - Bare-handed Blade Block. Hatchan used it in ep39.

Doke - Get out of the way! Move it!

(A while back I made a spreadsheet of all the slurs they ever called each other in the Anime and Movies. Some aren't canon/in the Manga.)

Datsu - Dart. Dartboard = dastu-ban/datobodo.

Saboten - Cactus

Katorisenkō Mayuge - Mosquito Coil + Eyebrow

Midori-Mushi - Green and Bug

Yokai Love Love Machine - Yokai = ghost, phantom, strange apparition. Supernatural monsters (vampire, witch, etc. think Ao No Exorcist or Gantz)

Kaiju-Tennenkinenbutsu - Monster Natural Treasure. Kaiju = giant monster (King Kong, Godzilla) Yosaku called Mohmoo a kaiju in ep32.

Mellorine - cheap ice-cream made with lard instead of milk fat. Sanji says it tastes like a fine woman. Apparently women taste like cheap fat?

Umi no majo - Sea Witch.

Noro - Slow

Dono - roughly means "lord" or "master".

Usopp's Story - Ponyo and the Pop Pop Boat. I can't believe how many people hate Ponyo.

Starboard - right side of the ship.

Yaro-domo - Plural yaro (asshole). IMO it's like "Men!" or "Ye ol' scurvy bastards!" but according to Google it means DUDES. Can you imagine a pirate yelling out "DUDES! Let's rock this joint!"?

Nami's Box - No, not her vag! Sickos. To find the position of a ship by celestial navigation, the navigator measures with a sextant the apparent height of a celestial body above the horizon (i.e. Sun), and notes the time from a marine chronometer. That height is compared with the height predicted for a trial position in the almanac; the arcminutes difference is how many nautical miles the position line is from the trial position. How this works I do not know. Mnot a navigator.

Ring Dial - pocket sundial. They are beautiful and I want one.

Gangplank - or gangway is moveable ramp that stretches from the deck to the dock (or shore). According to Editor-in-Chief Sinn, a gangway is metal, while a gangplank wood.

Omoshiroi - interesting or funny, depending on the context.

Rogue - when a vicious animal (elephant/lion) separates from the herd/pride and roams alone in solitary. Rogue animals are violent to those threaten it's personal space (I think). Rogue is not a disease, there is nothing mentally wrong with the animal. I just made that up because I wanted it to diii~e. Blame Tarzan. Disney ruined me.

Dekai Yagi - 'huge' and 'goat'. Refer to episode 17 of The Adventures of Sinbad. It's Canadian btw.

Gomus - unit of measurement. Determines how far Luffy can stretch. Refer to SBS ch30.

Handsome - Yes, I called Robin handsome. It's old-fashioned for classically beautiful. A woman with the kind of refined beauty and attractiveness that requires poise, dignity, and strength of mind. Handsome. Zoro is strapping, Sanji is dashing, Franky is virile. Usopp is gangly.

Oyatsu - midday snack, around 3pm (3 o'clock is san-ji in nihongo, haha!)

Kani - crab. I like my crabs curried with squash and snake beans.

Gazami Dori - Crab Seize. A guillotine like effect that would normally cut a person's head off, or in this case, a giant goat. Zoro used it against Mr 1.

Sayonara - goodbye/farewell

Iya - no. A less formal version and also carries a masculine connotation.

Sinn: Gotta rottweiler puppy last month, named her "Chop" because GTA5. BDM said "Porkchop" because Doug Funny. Nah, Chop good. Short for Chopper. We call her "Choppy" though. The mother rejected the pups and she was skin and bones (Quiet Brook!) when we got her, but she runs around, barks her yap off and eats like a horse now. Chop will grow to be a happy, healthy dog. Also, I don't get paid enough for this gay shit. Waitress! One lasagna tray! Extra meaty!

Cursing, Nihongo, and Zoro’s take on the day. Maybe some Sanji POV too? Not sure yet, we’ll see.., i guess. This might be short.

Chapter 6 - Day 4: Different Point of View pt II

Zoro wasn’t the type of man to let his feelings show. He wasn’t the kind of guy that admitted most of his emotions. He was the kind of guy that kept whatever he was feeling locked away deep, deep down inside, keeping his face cool and collected, especially in front of an enemy. The only time he ever found it necessary to show any sort of emotion was when it was, well, necessary.

So this was why he was having a hard time understanding why he was smiling so much today. He had never thought of the cook as a friend before today, a nakama? Yes, absolutely. But today? Today was just so different than the others. Everything the skinny blonde said was funny, he was thoughtful and didn’t bite Zoro’s head off when he messed up a cut or when he put too much strength behind his slice and broke the beast’s vertebrae. They were bonding and not at each other’s throat for once. It was a nice change. They hadn’t fought with each other at all, not since the Davy Back Fight. They bickered and shoved each other around, but nothing out of hand. They used to rough house around so much that they ended up breaking things and have his debt increased by the sea witch. Now, the insults were more playful and halfhearted than before. It was like things had gotten better between them, for what reason he didn’t know, but he was definitely glad for it.

He also started to notice things about the blonde. He was always very perceptive of the people around him, which he thought was stupid of him for not noticing before.  They were pretty damn obvious. He noticed the cook’s knife handling, how every move he made seemed to be graceful, those super long legs. Legs so strong and powerful, he had seen them snap a marine’s neck in half. Sanji merely sucked on his cigarette and flashed him a lecherous grin. Zoro had to admit it was impressive, but he would never tell the man.

He sees Sanji climb up over the railing, his tight pants constricting around his lean thighs, and jumps down to the sea king’s open form. Somewhere in the back of his mind an image of those lethal limbs wrapped around him steadily ripples to the front and he can almost imagine their strength clenching into his waist, the feel of Sanj-

Zoro shakes his head wildly. ‘Shit! Not again! I have got to stop thinking about him like that.’

Zoro had just finished setting up the smoker Usopp had built them back in East Blue when Sanji throws a sack at him. “Here, rub this on all the cuts for me while I pack bones for stock.” Zoro opens the sack and looks at the brownish, blackish, reddish powder with a dubious look. “It’s my own blend of seasoning salt, aho. Just massage it into the meat.” Sanji lights another coffin nail and hops over the rail with a bag in hand. “… And try not to get it in your eye.” he cautions with a slightly scrunched up face.

“What happens if I do?” the swordsman curiously asks, eying the powder with a wary glare.

Sanji scuffs at the ridiculous question. “Go ahead and find out. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” and he sets out to sever the sea king’s skeleton.

Zoro shrugs and grabs a handful of the spice. It smells earthy and spicy. ‘Nope, this shit ain’t getting into my eyes.’ He kneels down and slathers it over the flesh. ‘Why have I never done this with the cook before? Sure, it’s actual work and I could be training or getting a good four hour nap- meditation session in right now, but … this is kind of … fun? Well, maybe not fun, but enjoyable nonetheless. The cook could be annoying at times, but he’s been less of an ass lately and more of a normal person. If you can call curly eyebrows and excessive womanizing normal.’

He glances over his shoulder and finds the rest of the crew staring at him from the prow*. ‘Oh great. I’ve become a fucking side-show act for a bunch of circus freaks.’ He grabs more of the spice and stares at it for a moment before continuing. ‘Maybe I should rub this into Usopp’s face?’ He glances at the long nose, he’s sticking his head up over Chopper’s pink hat, watching the swordsman warily, as if sizing him up and trying to determine if the swordsman has lost his mind or not. Maybe he ought to give that tabasco boshi* bastard a taste of his own medicine.

‘Whatever, what do they know? Okay, yeah. It’s really weird that I’m doing this. I don’t even know why I’m helping the ero-cook, but … shit. No sense worrying over it. I got two bottles of good sake last night just for peeling potatoes. Who knows what I’ll get after this. Fuck, I’ve become this guru-yaro’s dog…

… Meh…’

The whole day had been tiring, what with all the training and napping - Hey! I was meditating! It’s training for the mind and spirit! - training and “meditating”. Then a sea king shows up and he has a whole new set of chores to do on top of his regular ship duties. With the last of the meat that wasn’t in the smoker safely tucked away in the storeroom, Zoro leans against the forecastle* deck railing next to Luffy, who was laying upside down on Merry’s head, and closes his eyes.

“Hey Zoro?” He grunts at his Captain to show he’s listening. “When will the smoked meat be ready?” Zoro snorts a laugh at his glutton of a leader and stretches his legs out.

“I dono? Cook said something about five hours, so maybe after dinner.”

“Can I get a bite of it when Sanji’s not looking?” Luffy asks innocently.

This makes Zoro turn around to look at him staring back with large brown glittering eyes. He’s a bit taken aback by how much the boy looks like Chopper. “You’re … asking me for permission to eat? You getting sick there, Sencho?”

Luffy is momentarily confused by the question before beaming at Zoro. “No, I just figured since you helped Sanji make it, it’s half yours. And since you don’t beat me for stealing food, I thought I’d ask and maybe getting a bigger piece!”

Zoro shook his head and chuckled at the fool. “It’s not mine, Luffy. If you want some ask the cook, not me.”

“But you helped! That makes it yours, too! It’s like it’s your meat baby!” This makes Zoro sputter and gawk at his dim Captain. “C’mon Zoro I really wanna eat it. It’ll taste great, right?” Luffy begs, sooner or later Zoro knows the kid is going to start bargaining, or something with him.

“It’s not mine!” Zoro screams at him with a light blush blooming on his tan cheek. “Just because I helped doesn’t make it mine. And It’s Not A Fucking Meat Baby! What The Hell!!” Zoro takes a few soothing deep breaths before looking back at him, “If you want some ask the cook, I’m not getting my head kicked in for you and your bottomless pit.” And with that he leans back against the rail, crosses his head behind his head and closes his eyes. ‘Retard, why would it be mine? All I did was slice up the monster, and will hopefully get good sake out of it.

…

I don’t even want to have anything with the ero-cook!

…

Meat baby…

…

He’d would make a great parent…

…

God dammit, Luffy!

Stupid gomu fucker messing with me!

He had been woken from his nap by a nudge on his foot, and looked up to find the cook standing over him with a net sack of onions in his arm.

“C’mon, Marimo. You’re gonna watch me cook.” the cook had said with a not so hidden smile. “Maybe you’ll actually learn something.”

“What do I look like to you? You’re student?” Zoro retorted as he stood up, obviously not about to resist the offer to watch the cook in action again.

“Ooh~!” Sanji handed Zoro the onions and led him down the steps. “You gonna call me Sensei? ‘Sanji-Sensei’, that has such a nice ring to it.”

“Bite me, Ero-Sensei.”

“Psht! You’re not even worthy enough to have my beautiful teeth on that nasty skin of yours. Isn’t it about time for your weekly washing?” Sanji gave Zoro a swift kick in the shin, not hard enough to trip him, but not exactly gentle.

“Eh?” Zoro countered his kick with a shove to the shoulder, “You starting that shit again, Cook? At least I don’t hog the bath for hours twice a day! Besides, I washed yesterday…”

“I do not!” Sanji booted him into the galley, and slammed the door behind him. “And you falling overboard is NOT a bath!” He yanked the sack from the green head and pointed at the couch. “Now sit down and shut up.”

“I don’t take orders from you, Guru-Mayuge.” Zoro snapped as he sunk down to make himself comfortable. ‘Might as well stay. Might get a free taste or two.”

Zoro got his reward for butchering the sea king in the form of an amazing stew and endless bottles of ale. He could never figure out what it was the cook did to make the simplest of foods taste so amazing.  All he had seen Sanji do was mix meat and water then after a few minutes, there was a pot of heavenly smelling soup and baskets of crunchy bread.

“In celebration of our magnificent sea king catch,” Sanji cheered, as he emerged from the pantry. “I say let’s crack open a few barrels of wine!” and lugged out a large barrel. The drinks poured freely, baskets of bread and corn disappeared almost instantly and the slightly spicy stew warmed them from the inside out.

Zoro and Chopper had been talking, he couldn’t remember about what; the little doctor was always talking about something or another. Chopper was excited about a new technique he had missed in one of his older books, and was hoping to test it out on any of their next catches. “Zoro! Okawari kudasai!” He refilled the little doctors bowl before bringing his own to his lips.

‘I don’t know how he does it, but this sure is amazing.’ He feels a drunken burp float up his chest, but holds it in before he spews his dinner everywhere. ‘Phew, that was close.’ he shovels the rest of his food in before looking over at the cook. His inebriated-ness makes him think a thousand thoughts at once and he smiles at Sanji. ‘This is a great end to a great day. Why don’t we hang out more often? He’s not that big of a pain in the ass. Why haven’t I started this a long time ago? He’s cute with that drunken blush. Damn, that curly brow is making me dizzy. Hah! He’s got crumbs stuck to that stupid scruff on his chin. Hmm, a goatee looks good on him. I wonder what it would look like if it were thicker. Probably like pubic hair! AHAH!’

“Pass me some more bread will ya, Cook.” he said, smile curling a little more at the corners. The cook looks at him with a confused look only making him smile more. ‘You have no idea what I’m thinking. Not one clue, pube face.’ Out of the corner of his eye he sees Robin lean into Nami and whisper something, but he ignores it and continues to enjoy the heavy feeling in his belly.

Zoro helped Sanji do the dishes that night, there wasn’t much this time since they had eaten with only bowls. Afterward, the cook grabbed a knife and pulled the swordsman out onto the deck but the wrist. They stayed by the port* railing for a while as the cooked smoked a couple of cigarettes before speaking.

“You ready?”

Zoro looks at him like his pubic chin grew five times in length. “Ready for what?”

“To try the sea king meat we smoked all afternoon. Or did you forget about that?” Sanji teases. “C’mon. I want you to have first taste.” Sanji walks over to the smoker set up near the mast and opens up its hatch. “I added some of the cheek in, seasoned it with a different spice blend and I wanted your opinion.”

Zoro stops. ‘What? My opinion? He wants my opinion??’ Sanji looks over at him with a smirk and as if he had read his thoughts, explains as he slices off some cuts.

“I want your opinion because you’re the only one on the ship that actually gives me one. Everyone who’s ever eaten my cooking only says ‘It’s great!’ or ‘It’s the best!’. And, yes, it is. I know that-”

“That’s very modest of you.” Zoro mutters.

“But I want real judgement.” Sanji continues. The only evidence he heard Zoro was a kick to the bastard’s shin. “Back on the Baratie, everyone always said my cooking tasted like shit. That’s just how we do things there. Even jijii did, he rarely told me anything else. It was only when I left that I found out that they all loved my food.” He turns to Zoro with a soft smile. “But not you.”

Zoro feels a little nerved by the smile and accusation. ‘Me? What did I do?’ He’s thankful Sanji turns back to the smoker so he can’t see the uneasy look on his face.

“You actually tell me what you think. You let me know if it’s too spicy or if I didn’t season it enough, you tell me when you would have prefered different meat. You are the only one in the crew that tells me when you don’t like the food. And I appreciate that.” He stands fully and points the knife at Zoro, on it’s tip is a thick slice of the finished meat.

“I only say those things to get under your skin.” Zoro admits. ‘Shit! Why am I telling him that?! Why am I being so honest today? And to him?!’

Sanji doesn’t notice the swordsman’s inner battle with himself and chuckles. “Yes, I know, jackass. But you’re mostly right. Every time you say something, I always check and find out, ‘Well I’ll be damned. That Marimo shit-head was right! It is too salty, it would be better with something else’. Sometimes I wonder if you're a food connoisseur*.” he states, giving the man a skeptical looks. “And I know you’re just messing with me, I do the same for your sword play. Here, try it.” he adds gently waving the blade at him.

‘The hell is a con-whatever?’ Zoro shugs lopsidedly, takes the meat and stares at it. To Sanji it looks like he’s judging its color and texture, but he’s really just staring at it blankly while his thoughts get the better of him. ‘You don’t realize how often you bitching about my Santoryu has saved our asses.’ He pops the meat into his mouth, and an explosion of flavor hits him like a blow to the gut. He rolls the flavors over his tongue, slowly chewing the tender flesh. He softly exhales a silent hum and hopes the cook doesn’t hear.

“Well~?” Sanji asks expectantly, a hopeful pitch in his voice. “How is it?”

Zoro swallows and looks up at the glowing cook. His deep blue eyes are wide and glittering, eyebrow wound tight, his lips curled up at the corners almost cat like. He’s anxious, really anxious to hear Zoro’s opinion. And here the man stands, prepared to crush his soul with an iron brick.

“‘S aight.” the marimo shrugs with an unimpressed expression. He expects to see the guru-cook’s face fall right off and start snapping at him, but he doesn’t.

“Not too spicy? Is there enough salt? Was the clove overpowering? Did the …” he batters him with a multitude of questions, half of them Zoro doesn’t even understand.

“Stop!” Holding up his hands to cease the endless stream of spices and techniques. “No.”

“So it’s perfect?” It’s more of a statement than a question. Sanji leers at him sidelong, as he lights a cigarette, but just before he takes in his first pull the stick is yanked out from his lips and hurled overboard.

“Cocky ass bastard.” the swordsman mutters under his breath irritably. “I’m going to bed, why don’t you make yourself useful? Like, I don’t know, jump ship and not come back.” He opens the hatch and climbs down the mast ladder. “Fucking giant headed curly bastard, so fucking full of himself that ero-dumbass…” the stream of insults gets cut off, as Sanji kicks the door shut and lights another stick.

‘Yup. He loves my cooking.’

Author Notes and Glossary

Prow - front end up the ship that’s above the water. Where the figurehead is

Boshi - star. What Usopp calls his ammo

Forecastle - the upper deck at the prow

Port - the left side of the ship

Connoisseur -  an expert judge in matters of taste

By the way, if you didn’t figure it out, the sea king was based off of Oblina from AHHH Real Monsters. If I were to compare my sea king to something of our world I would say the Cephadrome from Monster Hunter. You’d think I’d say Plesioth but it looks more bird-like than a fish.

Mature language, Nihongo (Japanese language). That’s it, really. Pretty tame chapter.

Disclaimer:

I do not own didly.

Chapter 5 - Day 4: A Different Point of View

“SANJI~! MESHII~!” Luffy calls into the galley.

“Hai!” the Mugiwara chef answers. “It’s about ready. Just so sit Luffy. And don’t you dare touch those pastries!!”

“Eh~? But Chopper and Robin are already eating some!” Mr. Gomu Captain complains, a rubbery finger snaking its way to a glazed bear claw in one of the baskets set on the table.

“YAMERO!” Sanji barks, kicking Luffy’s arm off the table and catching the basket that was accidentally sent flying in the process, expertly. “That’s because they’re not black holes like you! Now shut up and wait!” He cuts of the stove and presents a spread of a mountain of scrambled eggs, hot cereal, several more baskets of danishes and sliced fresh fruit.

“Ara? Eh? Nani*? Doko da*?” The crew watches as Luffy starts lifting up all the plates and cups, looking underneath the eggs and inside the baskets before throwing his hands on his hips with a irritable huff, a serious expression on his face. The crew don’t need to second guess what has disturbed their Captain so greatly. “NAI*!”

“What’s wrong, Luffy?” Nami asks, even though she knows exactly what’s wrong.

“There’s no meat! Sanji! Why is there no meat?! I demand meat! Niku*! Captain’s orders!” Luffy commands with an all too serious look, Captain Card thrown on the table.

Sanji pauses in pouring Robin another cup of coffee and looks expectantly at Luffy. “What would you prefer? Meat now and nothing for dinner, or this delicious breakfast spread I’ve made plus and equally delicious AND meaty dinner? You can’t have both because we’re low on provisions.”

“EH! Nani?!” Luffy cried around a mouthful of eggs and cinnamon rolls while still trying to pack more food in his yap. “What kind of options are those?! We should be having meat for every meal everyday! Learn to manage or stocks! Sanji!”

“Yeah, Cook. Do your job.” Zoro peeps up next to Sanji, also speaking with a mouthful. The marimo was nonchalantly chewing on a buttered scone as he grabbed a bowl of oatmeal and poured maple syrup in it.

“Can it, you useless kenshin! I don’t want to hear that coming from you! Either of you.” He grits out turning back to Luffy.

“Tell me, Senchou.” Sanji sits in his seat at the head of the table across from Luffy; it makes it easier for him to get up and refill plates and glasses; and grabs himself an apple turnover. “I distinctly remember having a whole leg of smoked ham in the pantry. I was planning to use it today and make a ham quiche for breakfast when I woke up this morning. But the strangest thing...” Sanji stands for a moment to give Chopper a second helping of oatmeal, sits back down, elbow propped up on the table, chin in hand, before continuing. “I can’t seem to find the damn thing anywhere.”

“Hmmm… That’s interesting. Quite interesting indeed…” Luffy replies thoughtfully, eyes focused on the wall to his left, lips pursed and tongue in cheek. Nami and Usopp smile heartfully at Luffy’s fib. Chopper tentatively watches, prepared to jump behind Usopp if things go hectic. A fine crinkle at the corner of Robin’s eyes and a slight curl at her lips the only sign of her amusement for her nakama’s delirious rituals. Zoro? Well, Zoro is watching the cook, staring at him intently.

Sanji is looking at the shifty Captain, who was casually whistling a pitchy tune, eyes looking at anything and everything that wasn’t blonde nor curly. Sanji’s expression was melancholic; stoic and a bit uncaring, but Zoro knew better than to believe the facade. He had seen this expression before. I was the one Sanji gave him when he tried to provoke the man into a sparring session or a play fight. They had fun like that. The look that said “One more push and I’ll snap, but I’m not showing you my weakness.” He could see it in those deep blue eyes. Eyes so blue, they rivaled the ocean during the calm before the storm as black clouds inched towards them in the heavy winds. And the familiar swordsman could see that storm brewing in those blue eyes, steadily growing darker by the passing moment. Zoro fails to hide his growing smirk as an irritated vein pops out of the cook’s forehead, right in the center of that dartboard brow of his. ‘Bull’s eye!’

“I dono…” the now profusely sweating gomu-ningen continues. “Maybe you put it in the pasta yesterday…” Luffy’s eyes frantically dart around to look at any spot in the room where he couldn’t see the angry blonde in his peripheral vision.

“Hmm, maybe you’re right Luffy. I must have added the ham and forgot.” The whole crew, save for Zoro, who’s already looking at him, whip their heads around to look at Sanji with wide eyes and share the same thought. ‘No way he bought that.’ But Zoro knew better. He knows the cook better than anyone else on the ship.

Luffy let out a shaky laugh and a heavy sigh of relief. “Yeah, shihihi. You are so forgetful sometimes, Sanji. Maybe Chopper can whip you up some medicine to help you with that. Ne, Chopper?” The little reindeer doctor lets out a hesitant giggle, unsure if he should answer or not before mumbling an almost inaudible. “Sure…”

“Ah, thank you Doctor, that’s sounds just great. I guess I’m going to need all the help I can get. Don’t want lose track of our stock while out at sea. We might get caught in quite a pinch and have no food at all for days.” Sanji concluded. Usopp tries hard to control his snickering, but the situation is becoming too unbearable for him.

“Oh, and by the way Luffy.” he suddenly adds. Zoro wryly smirks, ‘Here it comes.’ “You got something on your cheek.” pointing at his own face in demonstration.

“Ah! The crumbs!” Luffy immediately slaps his hands over his mouth, realizing his sudden outburst complete screwed him over.

“You son of a bitch!!” A black clad leg and shiny shoe fly across and over the table, throwing Luffy into the soap filled kitchen sink. ‘Damn, he has long legs.’ Zoro thinks as he and Usopp burst out in laughter. Chopper cries out in terror for a doctor to treat Luffy’s injuries, Nami shakes her head in distress and Robin simple smiles behind her cup of coffee.

“God damn it, Luffy! Don’t make me throw you overboard!”

“What?!” Luffy unsuccessfully climbs out of the sink, water weakening him and only making him sink in deeper. “You can’t do that! I’m the Captain!”

“Don’t test me, kuso gomu!” Sanji snarls out lividly. “I’m in charge of how much food gets served! I can’t feed you all properly if you keep stealing food!”

“Wari* Sanji. But it was really oishii*. Ne, Usopp?”

“Oi Luffy! Don’t rat me out, t-!” Usopp squeaked at his self-driven doom. “Eep! Sanji! Matt-!” But his words fell on deaf ears as a steel heel* landed squarely on his head, lump slowly growing in it’s wake and piercing his long nose right through his cream horn what??? its a pastry, google it.

“You’re a bad influence!” Sanji berates the sniper.

“What? Why me?!” Usopp wails. Why he was always to blame, he’ll never know*.

Sanji chooses to ignore the retards and grabs the pitcher of juice. “Another refill Nami-san?” Nami holds up her glass and says her thanks. A second glass appears in front of him and finds a tan, scarred hand holding it.

“Okawari.” Zoro is looking at him with a lopsided smirk, clearly amused by something.

“What are you smiling about, aho?” Sanji questions as he fills the man’s glass. Zoro leans in close; making Sanji raise a curly brow, ‘Too close… but it’s okay… Why is this okay?’, and drops his voice to a whisper.

“Nothing, just thinking if I should tell you about the third culprit or not.” Sanji’s gaze moves to look over at their doctor to find him with his head turned down, guilty face so close to his strawberry strudel, the lightest lap of a wave against the ship would turn him into a red-nosed reindeer. Like that’s any less weird. ‘Ah, dammit.’ Chopper sees Sanji looking at him, his eyes start to fill with tears.

In a rush, Sanji stands by his nearly weeping little buddy*, “More juice Doctor-san?” Chopper looks up at him, blinking the tears from his eyes before thrusting his empty glass.

“Oi, kisama*! Don’t call me Doctor! That doesn’t make me happy!” Chopper laughs as the whole table watches the scene in front of them. Sanji could never find it in his heart to get mad at Chopper, no matter what he did. (Even if he did steal food from the kitchen. Chopper knew better than to do it, but with the two other bozos on board, it’s kind of hard to avoid.)<what???? Sanji would never get mad at Chopper. Even if Chopper stole food, sanji wouldn’t get mad at him because Chopper’s not like that. Chopper respects Sanji and his rules. If Sanji says no stealing food, Chopper won’t do it. BUT Luffy and Usopp are involved. And when those two are involved, Chopper’s self restraint gets thrown out the window. Chopper knows better than to do things but he’s such a people pleaser and loves to copy Luffy and Usopp because they’re so cool, Chopper disobeys Sanji and and steals food. LUFFY AND USOPP ARE BAD INFLUENCES!!!

Zoro smiles at them, ‘Dorks...’ but his focus seems to be more on Sanji. Something seems different about the cook. He can’t put his finger on it but there’s something off. He can’t remember there being anything out of place with the man, it’s the same as it has always been since the day he joined the crew. But the swordsman just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was just … off. His reverie is broken when Sanji sits back down beside him and speaks.

“Alright, if you guys want meat so badly, you gotta earn it. Or rather, you gotta catch it.”

“Yosha!” Luffy cheers. “We’re going to catch us a sea king today!” “OH~!” His two partners in crime cry, throwing their fists up in excitement.

And then breakfast into a mother fucking warzone…

Zoro took a long post-breakfast nap; did a few hundred katas with Chopper, who laid down next to him to enjoy the cool breeze blowing into his heavy fur; took a second nap and slept all through lunch. The cook didn’t even bother to wake him, that bastard. But he was thankful all the same, it had been a nice nap and it was better than getting a sharp shoe jutting into his ribs. He entered the galley to find Robin reading at the table.

“Hello, Kenshin-san.” she smiled. Zoro merely grunted his greeting and made his way to the fridge to get a glass of water and found a plate of wrapped up sandwiches. “Cook-san saved you your meal. He’s resting below deck, in case you were wondering.” the archeologist informed him, turning a page in her book and resumes reading.

“I wasn’t. Why would I?” He grunts as he grabs his food. Robin doesn’t answer him with words though, just a quirked smile and a knowing look, which makes the swordsman raise an eyebrow. ‘Do I?’ He mentally shrugs and climbs up on the counter and digs in. The sandwich is simple, mostly veggies and spreads but it’s still good. Everything the cook makes is good. Not like he’ll tell him, ‘It’s always fun seeing him crestfallen. He always looks like he’s about to cry. Kinda cute.’

Zoro shakes his head hard. ‘What the hell am I thinking?! That guru-cook’s not cute! He’s a dork. A very attractive dork… Shit. I gotta stop thinking about him.’ He finishes up his meal, quickly washes his dish and waves bye to Robin before heading out to look for the three stooges and see what they were up to. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the Captain and Sniper since breakfast and that always raised suspicion.

He finds them with Chopper sitting on the sterncastle railing, rods in hand and hoof, waiting for a catch that’ll never come. Those three never had luck when it came to catching a meal. So far on their journey they’ve caught a boot, an okama*, ammonite driving salesman*, and varieties of forage fish like herring and smelt. Zoro leans on the rail next to Chopper and rubs his hatless head. “So… catch anything yet?”

“Usopp caught a piece of driftwood and Luffy used it as bait thinking a sea king would confuse it for a seal and we caught a swordfish but it was a baby, so we let it go.” Chopper explains to him dejectedly. He always enjoys fishing, but it’s so much better when you actually keep what you catch.

“Ya, know…” Zoro starts next to him. “You coulda used the swordfish to catch bigger fish. Small fish like that make great bait.” The three boys look at him with wide eyes. “SHIMATTA!!” They jump up off the railing and start running around the deck.

“Usopp! Get your net! Chopper! Go find more drift wood! I don’t care how long it takes, we are going to catch us some meat!!” Luffy commands, Captain Hat firmly in place on his head. Figuratively though, unless you call Boshi a captain’s hat. ‘Hmm, I guess it is. For us Mugiwaras, anyway.’

After many attempts of trial and error, they were able to catch a sea bass, weighing about 8 kilos*. A small fella, but it would suffice, if only Luffy ate it. The cook would just have to make do. “Better than nothing.” Usopp praises, patting Chopper on his pink head. He had put it back on in the rush of excitement. Chopper has the telescoping net Usopp invented in hand, and nearly drops the fish back in the water, as it thrashes and flops about. Acting quickly, Zoro removes Wado from her saya and slices the bass’s belly open, guts spilling out and falling into the sea. Usopp and Chopper jump slightly at the near invisible attack and Luffy laughs merrily, clapping Zoro on the back. “That’s our kenshin for ya! Shihihihihi!”

Just as they were about to haul the fish in and bring it to the galley for the cook to take care of when he wakes up, the ship suddenly rocks violently as waves crash into the side. They look around to check if a storm is approaching, but find, not the black rolling clouds of a hurricane, but the yellow glowing eyes of a monster.

A sea king had swam up to the surface to look for the source of the spilt blood and organs that had attracted it. Nami comes running out of the store room wearing nothing but a towel, hair dripping wet. Sanji leaps out of the hatch on the main deck and Robin calmly steps out of the galley. “Ara?” Robin turns the corner and stands by Zoro. “My, what a large beast that is.” she says calmly as she crosses her arms. Hands appear on the galley wall, she casually climbs up her hand stairs and sits down on the ledge under the mikan trees. Zoro isn’t sure whether to think it funny or annoying, because she isn’t taking the initiative to help. Not like she can, really, so he just brushes it aside and turns back to the sea king. Somewhere behind him he hears Nami tell the cook something about taking care of the sea king before it capsizes the ship and her getting dressed as he’s walking into the galley. ‘Lazy women.’

“Waa~i!” The three fishermen cry, fists pumping in triumph and starry eyed. “Yatta*! We caught a sea king!” They dance around in circles, swinging little Chopper around chanting “Sea king! Sea king! We caught a sea king!” Then Usopp and Chopper pause their victory dance and look up at the beast that’s still staring at them. “WAAH! A SEA KING!!” they run around in terror trying to hide from it, but completely failing, as they don’t actually leave the sterncastle deck.

“Somebody do something! Hurry before it kills us!”

“EH~?! We’re going to die?! No~!!” Chopper runs and jumps onto Zoro, clinging tightly to his green head. “Zoro! Do something! Hayaku!! Zoro~!”

“Let go and I will!” Zoro grunts, trying to pull the crying reindeer doctor off of his face. “I can’t see!”

Chopper finally lets go and Zoro makes his move. He sees Luffy pull his arm back “Yosha! Oi, Niku! Butto basu!!” and prepares to throw his Gomu Gomu no Pistol.

“Luffy! I got this.” and Zoro charges off the railing, soaring into the air with Yubashiri and Sandai drawn, and sends a Tora Gari followed by a Gazami Dori*, slicing its head clean off and lands safely back on the railing.

“Ahahah!” Luffy laughs jovially, “Okay! Sanji! Meshi~!!”

Sanji, who was leaning against the galley wall below Robin with a couple of long knives in his hands and a cigarette in his mouth. “Gokuro, you guys. A nice specimen indeed. Looks like we’ll have enough for the next few days.” The three boys sing and dance at their conquest. “Yatta! Yatta! Niku~! Oishii niku~! We got niku~!”

Sanji sharpens his knives against one another, turning to Zoro who’s cleaning the blood off his blades with a rag. “You did good too, Marimo.” he says as he snuffs out his cigarette against the sole of his shoe before flicking it overboard.

Zoro fills his chest fill with pride. ‘Heh, the bastard finally recognizes my great swordsmanship. ‘Bout fucking time, you ero-mayuge.’ He was about to walk away but he started to speak before he could stop himself. “You want help, Cook?”

Sanji looks at him a bit shocked that the dumbass offered assistance. Zoro, the fucking lazy-ass shit-eating green-haired shithead, ask him, Sanji, if he wanted help. He smiles a little at the idea, “Sure. C’mon, let’s butcher this bitch.”

Zoro was on the verge of jumping ship because of his stupid mouth, ‘Why had I asked that?!’, but when the man accepted, he felt a hell lot better about asking. He laughed at his vulgarity and followed Sanji of the ship.

“Thanks, Marimo.” Sanji says casually as he inspects their kill. The large beast looked like a cross between a hammerhead shark and an eel. It had a long slender body covered in black and white stripes; yellow eyes with vertical slit pupils protruded from the sides of its head; fins solid but alternating in color, left white, right black, dorsal and tail fins two toned; and the most peculiar trait, it had red mouth. Thick red lips stretched across its face, encircling widely spaced teeth. It was the ugliest sea king they’ve seen so far but judging by the smell and color of the flesh where Zoro cut into it, it was good quality meat and safe for consumption.

“No problem,” Zoro said as he walked across the the beast’s back. “Maybe I’ll find something in its stomach to pay off my debt with the sea witch.”

“Ha!” Sanji guffawed. “There’s not enough treasure in this world to cover your debt. Not even One Piece.” He starts to slide his Maguro bōchō* along the spine before pausing and looking up at the swordsman. “And don’t call her that shitface.”

Zoro ignores the insult and unsheathes Yubashiri. He prepares his Ittoryu stance before Sanji speaks up. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’mma slice it up.” Zoro says resting the back of his katana on his shoulder, and waits for the aho-mayuge to pull the stick out of his ass so he can get to work.

“Not with Santoryum, you’re not!”

“One sword.” Zoro corrects, holding up his katana as testimony.

“Doesn’t matter.” Sanji straightens up to look at Zoro. “You can’t just slice into meat like that, you’ll ruin the cuts and splinter the bones. You need to separate the flesh from the skeleton. Fish have sensitive bones, they break easily. You don’t want to be picking your dinner all night, do you?”

Zoro purses his lip to one side in a melancholic pout and thinks back to before the cook joined the crew. Back to the times when he would kill an animal and end up crunching his teeth into little bones or have fish bones stick into his gums. “Okay,” he gives in and slips Yubashiri back into his saya. “What do you want me  to do, then?” Zoro asks, calmly waiting for his orders.

Sanji’s ego sky rockets as the offered authority floods within him. ‘Okay? This is… wow.’ He holds out one of his bōchō to him. “Here, take this and I’ll show you.” He holds up his other knife and proceeds to demonstrate the art of fish filleting to the moss-face. “Fish we remove the head -”

“Dead and done.” Zoro points out to the head slowly floating away.

“- Yes, very good. One point for the marimo. Can you get that before it gets away? Some of the best parts are in the cheeks and jaw.” Zoro obeys, latching onto a bloody gill and throws the head into the net Sanji hung from the stern for their cuts.

“Hm,” Zoro hums in agreement. “I like the eyes.”

“Pretty much the face of any animal is the best.” Sanji smiles. “Belly is a close second. Okay next we gut it then slice into the spine and get as much meat away from the vertebrae.” he makes the smallest of incisions along the esophagus where the head was removed and all the internal organs fall out in a bloody purple mess. “Shit! It’s like the entire digestive system was in the throat!”

“That’s sick.” Zoro makes a face at the still beating heart*.

“Haha, yeah!” Sanji laughs, crouching down and poking at the pulsing flesh with his knife. “This was my favorite part of cleaning fish as a kid. Fucking funny.”

“You’re messed up, Cook.” the swordsman shakes his head at the blonde. ‘It is pretty cool.’ he silently admits with a smirk. “What now?”

The duo continue their fish carving, separating fillets, steaks, and fat while the rest of the crew watch from a distance.

“Oi, Nami?” the sniper says to the fire-hair beside him, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know but somethings not right.” she replies. They watch the two set up a smoker and hook logs of back meat along  the interior rods. Chopper is sitting between them shaking slightly at the phenomenon occurring in front of them.

“Why aren’t they fighting? They’re actually working together. They never do that!” the little doctor yelps. Nami and Usopp claps their hands over his mouth. “Ah, sorry. Maybe I should make a herbal detox for them.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Sei’ni-san.” Robin speaks up behind them from her seat on the deck where she reads. “I saw them preparing dinner together last night. They seem to be getting along quite well now. We should just leave them be before we jinx it.”

“Naruhodo!” Nami realizes, dropping a fist into her palm. “If we leave them be, we’ll never have to worry about them killing each other and breaking the ship anymore!”

“Ah, yeah!” Usopp joins in. “Great detective work, Robin.” the older woman smiles at him and turns back to her book.

“Eh? What do you mean? Nami? Usopp?” and there’s that idiotic voice again. The look at their Captain with annoyed faces. “Haven’t they always been good friends? They always play and train together.”

“Yes, Luffy. Best friends.” the turn away dropping the subject. No sense in explain the obvious to their dense Captain, it would just be a waste of breath and effort.

Dinner was extravagant. A huge pot of creole stew* was made from the sea king meat and was served with loads of toasted bread, corn on the cob and white wine. It was delicious and quiet the fill. Luffy kept to his own bowl, not bothering to steal from the others, which came as a great relief to the chef. Sanji had a good day with Zoro. They seemed to have patched things up and made amends. He was sure that if Luffy did try to steal food, the marimo wouldn’t hesitate to spear a fork through his rubbery arm for Sanji’s sake.

He looks to his right to see a happily eating Zoro, munching on soup-soaked bread and serving another bowl to Chopper. ‘Those to always had such a good relationship. He treats Chopper like a little brother.’ Sometimes on days when Zoro decides to bathe, which are rare, Chopper would ask to join him and have Zoro scrub his fur. Sanji had bathed with Chopper a couple times before, the little reindeer likes to take bubble baths instead of traditional baths*, the mountains of bubbles reminded him of the snow back in Drum Kingdom. It had been fun and Sanji was a tad jealous that the little reindeer prefered to bathe with Zoro, or even Usopp rather than him. ‘I wonder if the marimo even bathes properly.’ An image of Zoro naked in the tub, wash cloth draped over his eyes as he relaxes in the steam suddenly pops into his mind and he mentally slaps himself. ‘Whoa! Don’t do that!’

He takes a chance at looks at the marimo to find the man drinking from his bowl. “Oi,” He says to him with fake annoyance, trying to hide his smirk, ‘I always knew this idiot liked my cooking. Lying shithead’. “Stop being a pig and use your spoon.”

“Can’t help it, leave me alone.” Zoro hastily says, not taking the bowl away from his mouth until all the broth is consumed. He shovels the lumps of veggies and meat into his mouth before ladling in a refill. “Pass me some bread will ya, cook.” he says with a small smile as he continues eating.

Everyone, including Sanji, stares at him with a mixture of shock and confusion. Zoro had just kindly asked the blonde to do something for him.

Robin smiles around her glass of wine, leaning in closely to Nami. “Things are getting interesting, Kokaishi-san.”

Author Notes and Glossary

I’m kinda not happy with the way this ended but oh well. It’s 18:00.., damn that took all day. I’m super pissed! It’s the 13th and I’m only at day 4. My whole scheduled is completely fucked. Let’s just say I ruined my V-day gift for you all. I’m so sorry. I’ll be roaming the streets of Kowloon and other tourist areas majority of the week. I’m doing my best to speed write while I’m out and about but my hand’s being a bitch and cramps after 5 minutes. It used to never do this when I was still in school but after being a neet for -fuck- 3 years?, it decided that I should have carpal tunnel along with all my other medical shit. Thanks alot tendons!

Yamero - rude of Yamette. Means ‘stop’, or in my case “Cut it out, you bumblefuck!” You can yo at the end but I can’t remember if it makes it even ruder or feminine. Forgot.

Dare, Nani, Doko, Itsu, Naze, and Ikaga - Who, What, Where, When, Why and How. Da is casual desu, which completes the sentence.

Nai - none, nothing, nada, zilch, empty. In Tagalog for all you pinoys reading (musta!), it’s wala. Or how my white father puts it, “Lala lala! Ders nating.” XD epal yun papa ko, todomax.

Niku - that tasty goodness that is known as MEAT. I think pork belly is the best meat out there.

Wari - informal ‘sorry’. Gomen (-ne,-na,-nasai) is ‘I apologize’, Sumimasen is ‘pardon/excuse me’

Usopp - it is canon that the only reason why Luffy and/or Chopper show any form of perversion (i.e. Bon Kurei in Nami’s body, the Royal Bath scene and Thriller Bark) is all because of Usopp’s influence. On their own, they don’t act like that (i.e. Boa Hancock’s bath scene + Chopper’s speech before they walked in at TB and on the Sunny post timeskip). My opinion, Usopp is a closet pervert. An even bigger pervert than Sanji, Franky and Brook COMBINED. I bet he has regular wet dreams about Kaya and a sketchbook full of nude pictures drawn in magic ink. That fiend!

Little Buddy - I watch ‘Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!’.  Fuck you.

Oishii - delicious

Kisama - bastard

Okama - transvestite or crossdresser. Drag queen. They caught Bon Kurei prior to arriving at Alabasta.

Salesman - Rice Rice. Refer to Ep 132.

8 kilos - 17.6 lbs. I won’t be doing math for you, anymore. Do it yourself lazies. :P love you!

Yatta - short for yarimashita. “We/I did it!” Chun-Li’s victory cry in Street Fighter. Her peace sign isn’t a peace sign. It’s V for Victory. Westerners made it peace.

Gazami Dori - crab seize. Both Tora Gari and Gazami Dori are Santoryu attacks, but I made Zoro only used two swords, making it Nitoryu (san=3, ni=2, ichi(or simply i)=1). I studied the moves, two swords work just fine. Don’t hate.

Gokuro - short for gokurosama deshita. Means “good work” or “thanks for doing something that inconveniences you”.

Maguro bōchō - tuna knives. Long and thin, perfect for filleting those tasty fuckers.

Fish - my favorite household chore is cleaning fish. I am an expert at cleaning ANY kind of fish with just a pair of scissors. The best thing about cleaning live fish is that their hearts are still beating even after you gut them. Fucking funny as fuck. I love cleaning carcasses before cooking. The smell isn't that bad either, it mostly smells like rusty steel than dead fish. I clean pork and chicken too. Never dressed a chicken tho, still waiting.

Naruhodo - I see / that's right / agreed

Creole Stew - I figured sea king meat would taste like a cross between fish and whatever it looked like. If it didn’t look like any normal animal, (cow, pig, rabbit, lion etc) it would simply taste like snake or alligator. The recipe Sanji uses is “Louisiana Alligator Creole Stew”. I have yet to try the recipe but it looks delicious.

Bathing in Japan - standard rule. Shower first, soak in heated tub. NO SOAP in the tub. Or just take normal showers or bubble baths. Whatever suits you.

Thank you so much for reading! Please review! Find any canon errors? Typos? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Compliments? Interpretive Dances? Just let me know! I'll do my best to answer them all.

Mature language, Nihongo (Japanese language), more mental bitch fits, more cooking and animal violence.

Disclaimer:

I do not own One Piece. I don’t own the seahorse. I only own my panties. And - hm? … what?! Brook! You! You wish to see them? You wish to see my panties?! MY panties?! Is that what you ask of me?! IS IT?!? Then, yes. Yes you may see them. *Yohohoho!*

P.S.: Did anyone else hate Ep 632? I hope that whore dies. How dare she get in between Zoro and Sanji! Okay, okay… she didn’t do that but still! I’m a ZoSan fangirl and I hate Zoro ending up as the third wheel! I glared at my monitor the whole fucking episode >:(

Chapter 4 - Day 3: The Gamble

*Clank*

*Clank*

*Clank*

The sound of metal on metal chimes loudly from the the sterncastle* of the Going Merry. The Mugiwara swordsman grunts with each push up off the deck, balancing the monstrous weight on the arches of his feet high above his head. He’s made a habit of over stressing his body while over stressing his brain, fore as he steadily repeats his movements, an internal tirade of infuriated gripping betrays his calm and placid exterior.

‘I'm still so weak! I got controlled by a stupid fish! For fuck’s sake! I was like some pathetic puppet! If I just hadn’t fallen asleep!’

Heavy beads of sweat roll down his shirtless back, curl around his neck, gather behind his ears and run into his eyes. He shakes his head wildly, blinking out the salty burn.

‘Fucking fish. Fucking dragons. I'm not strong enough yet!’

A call for lunch from behind him and the sound of trampling feet follow; somewhere above him, a rustle of leaves and Nami speaks up. “Zoro, you coming?”

“Does it look like I’m coming?” He answers her question with another irritably.

“Whatever.” the redhead huffs. “You wanna be a dick, be a dick. Just know you’ll lose your food to Luffy.” She drops down from the ledge and enters the galley.

“Bitch.” He mutters aloud as he drops the weight and stands. He moves the weights to shorter bars and starts a set of cross body hammer curls.

‘Fucking memory stealing bastards.’ The smell of meaty tomato sauce floods out the galley window and makes his stomach grumble loudly. ‘No! Not again! I am staying here until I faint! End of story.’ His stomach grumbles some more as he reflects further back in the week.

‘Fucking cooks over working me. Fucking foxes. Fucking games. Too much fucking bullshit every fucking day… Fucking memories.’

He pauses mid curl and frowns. ‘No, not the memories, they weren’t at fault. I need my memories. I need to remember my promises’

He looks out at the ocean and sighs. The thought he had back on the island as they made their way towards the village returns to him. ‘What if the cook and I acted like normal nakama? What if we didn’t hate each other so much? Would it make a difference?’

Fully bending his arm, he continues his workout.

‘Probably not.’

A spent cigarette is snuffed in a dish and flour is dusted over the countertop. Sanji finishes kneading the massive amounts of dough, divides it into fat logs and sets them aside to rise. He expertly minces an assortment of pork, beef and lamb cuts into a coarse grind with finesse, blue steel santoku knives bleam beautifully as he twirls them in his fingers. He combines the mixture of muscle, fat and skin, folding in eggs, bread crumbs, onions and spices. In a matter of seconds, two thirds of the pile of flesh becomes an elegantly stacked pyramid of meatballs. They’re dropped into an extra-large pan of boiling water to cook slightly before browning. His timer dings behind him indicating the oven was now nicely heated and ready. He fishes out his lame* and scores crosses onto each ball of dough before shoving them into the oven with a spin.

The batch of fresh tomatoes - that are boiling next to another pot of water and oil - being too insufficient for the meal, he pulls out a 20 liter* glass drum of tomato preserves he whipped up a few weeks prior out of the pantry and cracks it open. He pours the red liquid into a tall pot set on the floor level burner, tosses in several heads of chopped garlic, onions and a handful of capers* and brings it to a simmer. With the balls crisply browned and dumped into the sauce, he wraps up the rest of the ground meat to use for dinner. The first batch of bread gets set aside on the dining table to cool and the second goes in, he peels his perfectly blanched tomatoes, squeezes out their seeds and quickly mashes them into the pot. He cuts off all the countertop burners and drains his perfectly cooked al dente* pasta in the sink and gives it a generous coating of grated Romano cheese. He plates seven servings of pasta, pours on the meat sauce giving each plate six meatballs, and pulls out the grape, mango, carrot and spinach salad from the fridge before calling out the galley door.

“Soup’s on, retards!” he barks at the boys below. Shifting his register to a high pitch cooing he looks up at women up on the quarterdeck* pruning Nami’s mikan* trees. “Nami-swan! Robin-chwan! Lunch is prepared! I’ve made Fusilli alla Marinara*!” He holds the door open for his angels then slams it on long, blue, and rubbery noses. Luffy only laughs at his chef and shoves a loaf of garlic bread into his mouth as he sits, while Usopp and Chopper tenderly rub their bruised olfactory organs.

The absence of green in the room doesn’t go unnoticed by the resident chef.

The heavy irons fall from his fatigued grip and he flops to the deck with an exhausted sigh.

3000 kilos, 3000 reps, 3000 reasons to lay under a gigantic waterfall and have the crushing weight of its waters ease his sore muscles, regardless whether or not he drowns in the process.

Slowly dragging his dead weight form up, lead filled bones creaking at the unforgiving activity, Zoro kneels, leaning against white wood and stares down at the blue below. With a huff, he makes his decision and throws his limp body over the railing. He crashes into the waves below, the water envelops him, its icy chill cooling his skin. He feels the tension bleed from him as he slowly rises and drifts calmly around the hull of his battered home. The wind has died out and the sails sag on their yards*, he’s confident that even if he were to stay out in the sea and rest for a few long moments longer, he won’t lose sight of the Merry.

Body lax, veins burn as his blood surges through him, brain exhausted and clear, he stares up at the cloudless sky and thinks back at that past few days.

First had been the Davy Back Fight. They went through hell playing that fox bastard’s stupid games, then they had lost their memories to a fucking dumbshit seahorse horn, and both times their nakama had been put at risk. Both times they could have lost each other, or worse: themselves.

‘How the hell do you even transform into a dragon by eating memories? Don’t they hatch from eggs like other creatures of that nature? That’s what we saw when we left Loguetown and ran into that little Apis girl, anyway.’ he thinks to himself, fingertips gently treading the waters. ‘Two days.’

Two days they had been on that god forsaken island. Two days completely clueless to the fact that they nearly lost the nakama they didn’t even realized they had. Though they left the island the day before, there was still a possibility that the tako bastard would show up again. The swordsman couldn’t help but notice the pools and pillars along the island’s cliffs at their back as they sailed off, no doubt traveling in the same direction Luffy had shot the thing in. He wasn’t worried, though. One sight of the little shit and he was good as dinner!

Zoro would have been able to prevent it all if he didn’t lose his memories. If he hadn’t fallen asleep. If he had just stayed awake when he was on watch. ‘But I was tired!’ Exhausted from all that day’s training and having to stay in the galley late to scrub every damned pot the cook owned. ‘That’s right!’ he realizes angrily. ‘This is allhis fault! If he would just stop giving me shit, I would be able to do my job and protect this crew!’

He sighs deeply and turns over to dog paddle through the current’s cradling pull. ‘No. It wasn’t the cooks fault. I can’t blame this on him. But he did give me shit and made me do chores that wore me out! So it wasn’t entirely his fault...’’

‘No sense in worry about it now. Not like anything’s gonna change what’s happened. Though I would lo~ve to gut that fucker with his own spines.’ Muscles loose and revived, Zoro dives into the blue. He swims under the ship’s keel*. He eyes the shoddy patch job Usopp hammered in while they were flying away from Navarone - ‘Looks like shit.’ - as he spins playfully in his near weightlessness. He spies a school of small silverfish pass by beneath him, but he ignores them in search for a more satisfying catch. As he’s kicking up to the surface for a breath, a shimmer of red from deep below catches his eye. ‘Ooh! That better be a squid!’ he grins evilly.

He breaks the surface and sucks in a lungful of the warm spring air. “I wonder what a kraken would taste like.” he laughs out loud and dives back in, eyes dart to and fro looking for the legendary sea beast. He uses his strong eyes to propel him through the liquid. Like a hawk soaring effortlessly in the sky before nose-diving down with a final flap of it’s wings to catch its prey.

A flash of pink to his left catches the hunter’s attention and he charges forward. He inches closer to the creature, which happens to look pathetically small. ‘So much for my kraken…’  he sighs dejectedly, but as he starts to kick back up, the creature’s figure becomes clear in the turbid water. Zoro freezes and stares wide eyed at the familiar curly pinky thing bobbing in the water below him. It’s moving slowly, just as a sulking human would walk on dry land. it’s eyes dull and sullen. It’s the memory eating seahorse! ‘Him!!’

Zoro grits his teeth hard and suppresses an angry snort; doing so would fill his sinuses with salt water and cause him to choke. The pink bastard doesn’t notice him and continues on his way. The angry swordsman’s fist clench as his sides and he propels himself forward, kicking swiftly against the current.

The ruckus alerts the seahorse, making it panic and squawk at his presence. It tries to swim away but doesn’t act quick enough in his haste. Zoro extends his arm out and claws a crushing grip around the little prick’s form. ‘You little shit!’ he screams at it with his livid eyes. The seahorse flails and thrashes, fighting against the Pirate Hunter’s hold. It’d be a fool to forget him, after stealing his memories and whatnot. It’s able to unfurl its tail and slip through the bind but Zoro throws out his other arm and regains his hold.

Like a guillotine, he wraps his large hands around its neck, fingers covering its gills, blocking out his ability to breathe. It struggles even more and Zoro starts to feel the over exertion and lack of oxygen begin to burn in his lungs. He tucks the memory eater under his arm, wrapping the hand around its snout in a headlock and kicks violently to the surface. They reach the Going Merry’s hull and he slams the ugly fuckers face right into the weathered wood, sending a spray of splinters out from the force of it; he’ll have to take care if he doesn’t want Usopp to question him about the damage.

“You slimy son of a bitch! You came back to steal our memories again!” he snarls venomously at the dragon horn. It shakes his head violently, squawks of denial and declination and flailing desperately to be free. Crying out in fear and pain, utterly terrified of the consequences for his actions the previous day. “I ought to butcher you for this, kuso tako! Now where are my katanas?”

Zoro wades in the waves, making his way back to the stern where he left his swords resting on the galley’s outer wall. The seahorse thrashes ever more violently, panic squawking growing louder in Zoro’s ears. It seems to be saying something but he can’t understand it. He half thinks he should call Chopper and ask him to translate what the infernal thing is saying, half thinking he should call the cook and ask him to whip up some aho-tako sashimi, but ultimately decides to do neither and stops moving when he hears the tone of the frantic squawking. He looks down at the creature in his hands to find a look he has seen far too many times during his short journey out at sea.

Pure fear.

“More mikan juice, please Sanji-kun.” “Hai~! Nami-swa~n!”

“Sanji~! Okawari*!” “Chew your food, kuso yaro!”

“Oi, Sanji! Why are there mushrooms in the pasta?!”

“Yeah! We don’t like mushrooms*! Sanji!” “Those aren’t mushrooms, you dorks! They’re capers!”

Sanji zips around the kitchen; pouring drinks, refilling plates, grabbing more bread from the warm oven and kicking rubbery hands from stealing food from other people’s plates. He only has a few moments to sit down and eat before he’s up again to repeat the process. The whole ordeal is troublesome but it’s become a pleasant routine for him in his relatively new home. He’d been a Mugiwara kaizoku for seven weeks now, he had pondered on the idea while on the island but now he remembers, and he will never forget it again.

He’s happy to do all he can for his nakama, though he does miss his old man. The island brought back the sadness he had finally gotten over by the time they reached that island of strange animals and met Box-Ossan*. He’s alright now, but he does feel a bit homesick.

He grabs hold of a hand that’s slithering its way around glasses, napkins and bowls of salad and bread just before it reaches Usopp’s plate, the long nose too busy to notice as he tells the story of Ryuuji the Sennenryu and Little Girl Apis to an equally distracted Chopper who loses another bun to his Captain. “LUFFY! Hands to yourself, chikushou*!”

He finally gets to sit down long enough to finish his plate and mop it clean with a few rolls of bread. He stands to get a second plate and looks out the galley window.

‘Shit head marimo skipping meals again. He can train himself to the bottom of the sea for all I care. One less problem for me to worry about.’ He looks out the galley’s back window and sees Zoro’s sharp moving shadow. ‘He’s been like this since Long Ring Long Land. It’s only gotten worse since that island. He’s pushing himself too hard.’ He fills his plate and sits back down at the table.

‘Well, not like I give a shit what that dumbass does. I’ve got all I need to worry about right here.’ he concludes with a lewd face, nostrils flared and hearts flying off his head as he pours more drinks for his darling ladies.

Zoro has seen this look before. It’s the look of regret many rookie pirates, bandits and petty street thugs gave him when they made the mistake of messing with him. It’s the look of desperation he saw in Nami’s eyes when Luffy stopped her from stabbing her shoulder apart back at Cocoyashi village. It’s the look of fear of losing one’s life what he had seen on Mr. 7’s face, the man from Baroque Works whom had been sent to scout him out, just before he killed him. He’s seen this look far too many times in his young life, he never really cared before; but today, something stops him.

The seahorse is still crying, it’s honks a noisy racket in his ears. Though not understanding its words, he does understand something else. The seahorse was pleading for mercy. He can see it in its eyes. They’re full of terror and shame. He almost feels sympathy for the thief. It was sent away from its home, it lost its dream just before it obtained it; he had been so close to transforming into a Sennenryu, until Luffy came along and literally kick his ass halfway across the Grand Line, stripping it of its achievement. The thing looks up at him with pleading remorse filled yes. “I’m sorry” he can imagine it saying. “Please. I’ll never bother you or your crew again. Just, please, don’t kill me.”

He watches its eyes slowly brighten with hope and grins evilly, snickering to himself as those eyes fill with terror once again, grip tightening and slams the idiot into the ship. “You think you can use puppy dog eyes against me, you sick fuck? Well, think again because in case you’ve forgotten, I’m Roronoa fucking Zoro, don’t think you can fuck with me and get away with it.”

"Teme!” he cries, slamming it into the ship again. “How dare you control me!" He could have protected his nakama like he always does. He has never failed to protect them! Well, except in the Davy Back Fight where they almost lost again. ‘Damn stupid ero cook, making my life so fucking difficult!’ The thought he had before returns and Zoro stares up at the ship towards the galley. ‘What if … ?’

The seahorse takes advantage of the green haired psycho’s distraction and tries to escape but Zoro catches it before he can even get two inches away. "Oi!” He grabs hold of its belly and pull it back, staring intently into its eyes. “You steal memories, you eat them, right?” he states calmly. “But what about emotions? Can you take away feelings like hate?” His gaze bears down into the seahorse’s soul, prying for the answer.

The memory eater stares up at him timidly before looking away with a bashfulness that makes Zoro think he just asked to have its memory eating babies. “Can you?!” he screams, scaring the retard back into reality. It’s nodding his head in a frenzy. ‘Yes, I can.’ he imagines it say. ‘Ha! I just found you out, didn’t I?’

“You can make the ero-bastard forget how much he hates me? How much I hate him? You can eat emotions? You can do that?!" The nodding frenzy increases to a panic. ‘Yes, yes! I can. Please don’t hurt me!’ He stares at the weeping seahorse with a heavy, neutral graze. His mouth is slightly parted, the only evidence of his shocked state. ‘I… He… He can do that...’

And as if on cue, the galley door opens and the familiar smell of burning tobacco floats down to him. He looks up and hears that low, smooth voice call out for him. He swallows the small amount of saliva that’s accumulated under his tongue during his reverie and turns back to the memory thief. His face is lax and calm; eyes turned down slightly in shame. He knows he’ll regret this.

“Do it.”

After two plates of fusilli, a nice fresh salad, and three rolls of garlic bread, he sets his plate in the sink. The others haven’t finished eating, what with all the laughing and storytelling and all. The Mugiwara chef leans against the kitchen counter and watches his nakama contently. And his brain reminds him that a certain aho-kenshi is absent and he feels a tick start to grow on his forehead. ‘Kuso Marimo, trying to skip meals, letting food go to waste.’ he mentally berates. Moving over to the cabinets and pulling down a clean plate, he piles on heaping amounts of pasta and a few buns onto the plate. ‘He'll eat my cooking, alright. Whether he likes it or not!’

A flutter of petals and a phantom hand appears, opening the door for him as he turns to leave the galley. “Dozo*, Cook-san. We do not want you to slip and drop the plate.” Robin says sweetly from her seat next to Nami.

“Why thank you, Robin-chan!” he gratefully bows to the older woman with a twirl and makes his exit. He doesn’t miss her final words as the door closes, however. “That is very kind of Cook-san to bring out Kenshin-san’s meal to him.”

‘Kind my sexy ass! I’m kicking this down the fucker’s throat!’ He rounds the corner to find a white shirt and three katanas leaning against the wall, but no Marimo. ‘Where is that shithead?’

He moves to the main deck and still no sign of the marimo bastard. “Oi Marimo! ‘The fuck are you?!” he barks out irritably. ‘Maybe he went to the W.C.*.’ He puts the plate down, leans against the mast and lights a cigarette. He’d go back inside and pamper his lovely ladies, but to leave the food out like this would either attract gulls and he wants to make sure the muscle head idiot eats it.

There’s a mad splashing coming from his right and he goes to check it out when a bright blue light blinds him.

The seahorse looks at the swordsman questionably while Zoro returns it’s stare with an expectable one. “Do it. He’s right there.” Jerking his head toward the deck where the cook stands. “Do it.” His voice is low, calm and full of authority. The seahorse knows that one wrong move would mean its life. “Don’t fuck with me either, because even if you do, when Luffy finds out, he’s going to kick your ass so bad, you’ll shit through your mouth.”

“Do whatever it is you do. Take away the animosity, the reasons why we have the need to piss each other off every fucking day. You’ve stolen our memories once before, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” He narrows his eyes, his glare spitting venom right into the bastard’s face. “You also know what I’ll do to you if you fuck with me. And…” he finishes, “I don’t want to remember this, either. I don’t want to remember you showing up here today, because if I do, I’ll hunt you down to the end of the Grand Line and turn you into a wallet for Nami.”

The seahorse starts at the thought of dying, being dried up into leather and used as that money loving redheads purse. He panics, fins and tail flailing in the waters before focuses his eyes at the sky and glowing in a bright blue spark.

A bright light temporarily blinds the chef. He blinks back the glare owlishly before looking over the railing to see an equally blinded patch of seaweedfloating alone in the waters.

“Oi, Marimo!” Zoro looks up, and sees a cheeky looking chain smoker leaning his elbows on the railing. “What are you doing down there? Get lost looking for the bathroom?” Sanji snickers at him. “Or did you decide to look for your kelp family?”

“No!” Zoro snaps at him, turning away to hide the pout on his face. ‘Shimatta, the cook caught me, again.’ “I jumped in for a swim. Thought I saw a squid.” he answers honestly before muttering under his breath, “I was hoping it’d be a kraken.” Too bad it wasn’t low enough for a certain cook’s ears.

“Oh~ A kraken huh?” the cook says with interest, spiral brows raised high. “Did you catch it?”

Zoro stays quiet for a moment, mulling over the events just past. ‘I dove in to cool down, swam for a bit, saw some fish, got lost trying to find the surface, ended up going even deeper, nearly drowned but somehow ended up back beside Merry.’ “...No…”

“Baka Marimo doing baka things, again.” Sanji laughs jovially.

“Shut it, Curly Brow! And help me up!”

"Hai hai. Matte kure." he calls, throwing the rope ladder down to him. The glowering man swims over and glares at the rope like it’s his worst enemy before climbing up. ‘I never realized how cute he was when he's pouting. Dumbass swordsman.’ He shakes the strange thought out of his mind, grabs hold of the ratlines* and extends a hand to Zoro. "There's some food for you by the mast. Stop skipping meals or I'll kick them down your throat.” the cook fake scowls.

"Yes, mother." the swordsman gripes as he climbs over the railing.

"Don't forget to floss afterwards!” he laughs, running back to the galley.

Zoro takes one last look at the waters before picking up his plate and inhales the tasty twists. ‘I really thought I saw something, but … nothing was there...’

He’s chewing on his second bun when a towel flops on his head. He looks around like a startled owl, head twisting to and fro, looking for the towel throwing bastard, but doesn’t find him. He sets his plate down for a moment to dry off his dripping hair and neck before finishing his meal. He sets the plate up by the rail outside the galley door and dries off the best he can with his towel before grabbing his shirt and katanas where he left them and climbs up to the crow’s nest for a nap.

‘Boys fishing and eati-’ “Oi Luffy! Stop eating the bait, you shithead!” ‘- Boys fishing; Nami-san by the helm drawing maps and writing in her logbook; Robin-chan reading on the deck while keeping a third eye on the boys in case one of them decides it’s a smart idea for a fruit user to go for a swim; Marimo sleeping in the crow’s nest. Yosh!’

He finishes his mental attendance of his nakama and heads to the door beneath the stairs*. ‘Timefor a bath!’

After drawing up water, Sanji walks into the storeroom and undresses gracefully, hanging his jacket and pants on a nearby chair and putting the rest of his personal effects into a basket set aside for that purpose. He enters the bath, strips off his boxers and heats up the water before stepping into the spray. He scrubs his hair twice, thoroughly cleaning the sea salt from his scalp, which doesn’t really make sense since he’s bathing in sea water, but he does it anyway. He quickly scrubs down his body with a towel and plugs the drain. The tired cook soaks in the heat, tense shoulders sag in ease, the steam clearing his sinuses. He closes his eyes and drifts into a dreamless sleep. Which doesn’t last very long when the water level reaches his chin and floods into his mouth.

“Agh!” he chokes, coughing up a salty foam back into the tub. “Phew, abunai*.” He stands to dry off, drains the bath and squeegees up all the surfaces; as one would do on the Merry if they didn’t want to be pummeled by Nami-san or Usopp because mold started to grow on the ship.

“Best get started on dinner then.”

Evening comes, Sanji’s in the galley, humming softly along to the boiling peas on the stove as he chops onions and carrots when the door creaks open. The marimo has apparently awoken from yet another nap, rubbing sleep from his eyes, moves over to the pantry. “Oi, cook. Where’d you hide the sake?”

“Where you’ll never find it.” Sanji answers with a wry smile.

“What?! You seriousl- … Why?” a completely confused Zoro asks. ‘Bastard actually hid it!’

"You’ve been lazing around all day.” the cook chides. “Time to make yourself useful. Go get me that sack of potatoes from the storeroom for me?"

Zoro mocks a thoughtful look, as if pondering the idea for a moment before answering flatly. "No.”

“I’ll give you one of the better bottles~” Sanji bargains in a sing-songy voice. The cook turns to smile teasingly at the marimo who has a serious thoughtful look on his face, lips pursed and a brow cocked high on his forehead. ‘Ah, he’s actually considering.’

"Sure, why not?" Zoro says with a one shoulder shrug. He walks out the galley and returns shortly with a large sack of potatoes. “What are you making cooking?

“Cottage Pie.” He states simply as he browns the rest of the ground meat from lunch. “Can you help me with the potatoes?”

“I get the good stuff?”

“Yes, you get the good stuff.”

"Alright. How many do I peel?"

“All of them.” He turns to find a slouching swordsman, and laughs at the dumbfounded look plastered on his face.

“Oi, stop looking at me like that.”

“You’re shitting me…” Zoro sighs exasperatedly. “That’s a fucking 25 kilo* sack!”

“I shit you not, Marimo. Oh c’mon, you really think any less will be enough to feed our Captain?”

“Can’t we just tie Luffy to the mast and feed him normal human portions?”

“As much as I love that idea, no. Now stop being lazy and get to it.” Sanji hands the still pouting Zoro a knife and basket. “Just sit at the table, I’ll tell you what to do next when you’re done.”

“I have to do more?!” Sanji’s laughs again at the swordsman newfound bitchy antics.

“Yes! You’re helping with me dinner for once, and in exchange,” he holds up two fingers, in case the dumbass can’t count in his head. “I’ll give you two bottles of the good sake. Deal?”

Zoro almost immediately grabs his hand and curtly shakes it. “Deal.”

The down creaks from behind and they turn to find it shut.

“What’s wrong, Robin?” Nami asks up from her mikan trees. “I thought you were going to get coffee.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” The tall, dark-haired beauty replies with a gentle smile. “Just changed my mind. I think I’ll sit with Sei’ni-san and read there.”

Author Notes and Glossary

So I noticed the glossary part is super long as hell and it seems I’ve been using it to troll… so I’m cutting it short. I’ll try to limit it with zero bullshit nonsense. Also, Sinn won’t be making another appearance unless necessary.

Sinn: awwwwhh … :(

Thanks for coming back! I squee when I see the hits and views. I am a very happy panda so thank you all very much~! Sorry this took so long to update. I’m really trying to push myself with the updates and get a certain chapter out a certain day but things are getting crazy here. I’m actually going to Hong Kong Wednesday night, which is in about *checks watch* 24 hours and 15 minutes. Will be there until Tuesday the 18th. Still need to pack!

  Sterncastle - the rear upper deck on a ship. Located at the stern.

Lame - a double-sided blade used to slash the tops of bread loaves.

20 liters - 5 gallons and quart.

Capers - pickled flower buds

Al dente - pasta cooked ‘to the tooth’. I have no idea what it means or how to cook it.

Quarterdeck - raised deck behind the main mast of a sailing ship. I just guessed and called the top of the galley this. Doesn’t mean it’s accurate.

Mikan - tangerines/oranges/ponkan.

Fusilli - spiral macaroni. Alla Marinara means ‘in marinara sauce’ or something. Simple sauces like pesto are ideal for long and thin strands of pasta (spaghetti aglio e olio - Kid Pirate Killer’s favorite dish). Chunkier tomato-based sauces cling to thick pasta, into holes and cuts of short, tubular, twisted pastas.

Yard - the wooden beams on masts that hold up sails. The tips are called yardarms.

Keel - the ship’s backbone. Refer to chapter 328.

Okawari - a second helping or refill. ‘Gimme more!’

Mushrooms - Usopp hates mushrooms because he ate one as a kid, got really sick and almost died. Chopper, on the other hand, is of my own devise.

Box-Ossan - Gaimon and the Island of Rare Animals

Chikushou - dammit

Ratlines - pronounced ‘rattlin's’, thin rope tied between theshrouds to form a ladder. Shrouds are the ropes that hold up the masts. Think the rope ladder that goes up to the crow’s nest.

Stairs - under the stairs that go up to the galley is a small room with a bike used to draw up water for bathing and washing dishes. There used to be two but Luffy broke one, I can’t remember when. If you know please tell me ^_^

Dozo - ‘please’ or ‘go ahead’ when offering something. A seat, drink, holding the door open.

W.C. - short for ‘water closet’. Toilet/can/lou/shitter/

Abunai - dangerous/not safe i.e. “That was dangerous.”

25 kilos – 55 lbs

Mature language, Japanese language, gomu-ningen* violence, marimo-ningen violence and animal violence. Yet another chapter of written out episodes with my own shit thrown in.

Disclaimer:

I do not own One Piece, nor any of the media references made. I probably don’t even own the plot. I thought I came up with it one night cuddling alone in bed but who knows, I might have stolen it from Usopp. (‘H’)

Day 2: Dragon Dream pt 2

Sanji was woken from dreams of rocks, bread, mustaches and peglegs by shrill screaming. Luffy, who had slept on the deck, stretched an arm through the hatch and blindly grabbed for one of his crewmates. He and Usopp were fortunate to have been sleeping in the upper bunks, leaving Chopper, who slept on the couch, to fall victim.

The little reindeer doctor was reeled in up to the deck and greeted by a bouncing Luffy, gleefully cheering to start the search of their navigator and swordsman to begin. Usopp hurriedly climbed up the mast after him.

‘Is that monkey like this every morning?’ Sanji groans, tucking his feet into his shoes.

As he was putting on his jacket, out of the corner of his eye, he could see something wriggle and writhe. A long, pinkish, fleshy, snake was making its way around the cabin.

‘That’s not a snake!’ he mentally screams as he clambers away from twitchy fingers. The appendage wraps around his waist, hand gripping into his shirt and pulls him up.

He’s soaring up and over the ship, howling in terror. “SANJI!” he hears below, above? He feels the arm tauten and he’s suddenly yanked back down. “ASA MESHI~!” He crashes directly into the already busted up mast. Screams fade in and out around him as Usopp and Chopper run in panicky figure-eights.

“Kuso yaro! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” the cook screams at the shitty gomu, swiftly delivering a kick to his elastic head. “You don’t just throw people around, aho! I could have died!”

“You never had problems surviving before.” Luffy counters, shoe-shaped face molding back to normal with a snap. “Anyways, let’s get to breakfast. Make something easy, like pancakes, jelly filled donuts and beef brisket! And those lemon and cream tarts things that taste so good! We need to get going, and soon!”

“Okay, okay. But Luffy, none of those dishes are easy. You basically named the foods that take the longest to make. How about I make something else?”

“Yosha*! Everything you make is great, Sanji! I’ll let you handle it.” The boy then turns to his doctor and sniper. “Yosh, first! We must devise a plan to…” Sanji tuned out the moron, knowing whatever it was was just going to turn into a game or something silly and unproductive.

‘Something quick and easy,’ he thought as he made his way to the galley. ‘yet able to feed the black hole.’

Set oven to 200 degrees celsius*

Bring five cups of red kidney beans to a boil.

Chop, dice, and slice ten plump tomatoes, a handful button mushroom, three bell peppers, two large onions, half a head of garlic, half a cup of black olives, a head of lettuce, six cups smoked ham (Found In Pantry), two chorizo links, some leftover grilled chicken (Found In Fridge), six bananas, and a handful walnuts and almonds.

Whisk a dozen large eggs in three separate bowls, four in each. Season first bowl with buttermilk, warmed honey and cinnamon. Second and third with mayonnaise, salt and pepper.

Saute garlic and onions, once golden add vegetables and meats in large pan. Reserve one cup of ham. Season with a handful of chopped cilantro, cumin, paprika, oregano, cayenne pepper, salt, black pepper and a cup of lemon juice.

Soak twelve thick slices of bread in first bowl.

Drain beans and rinse with cold water. Smash in a large bowl until lumpy. Season.

Add day old rice and tomato paste to veggies and meat to pan. Reduce heat and cover.

In another pan, fry second bowl of eggs. Toss and divide until fluffy and crumbled.

Set out a stack of flour tortillas (F.I.P.), layer beans, meat and rice mixture, lettuce and eggs then wrap tightly. Line six foot-sized rolls into baking pan and cover with heaping piles shredded cheese. Bake in oven for 7 minutes.

On a large buttered skillet, cook soaked bread, four at a time, for three minutes or until edges are golden. Flip and sprinkle with brown sugar.

Remove tray from oven, set aside to cool.

Pour the last of the eggs into already used frying pan. When egg is firm, sprinkle in ham, cheese and thyme. Flip, cut it half and plate.

Finish the rest of the toast. Plate with jam (F.I.F.), sliced bananas and nuts. Serves two.

Mix generous amounts of jam with greek yogurt (F.I.F.). Layer bananas, yogurt, and granola (F.I.P.) in two tall glasses. Top with more bananas, jam and nuts. Serve with eggs.

Chopper & Usopp - French Stack with wild berry jam, bananas and nuts. Total time - 10 mins Robin & Sanji-  Ham and Cheese Frittatas with Berry Banana Parfaits. Total time - 5 mins Luffy - Everything Burritos*. Total time - 20 mins

“Breakfast is served!”

A gentle breeze, a rolling roar of white water, a flicker of silver, and a heavy splash. The hunter spies his prey and dives.

After recovering from Landing-on-islands-make-my-heart-stop diseases and building canoes, the Mugiwaras made their way to the island.

The town was small, yet quaint. The houses and buildings that seemed to have been built within the hills were made of stone bricks and wooden frames and arch ways. The red tiled roofs and chimneys were covered with an overgrowth of vines and moss. Benches carved from stone and troughs of various herbs and flowers were scattered around on the stone and grassy streets.

They ask passing villagers if they had seen any sign of orange haired ladies, or green haired men. No such luck was found.

“Hmm… What was I doing yesterday?” the man says. “I can’t seem to remember anything about yesterday.”

“Not you too!” Usopp cries in frustration. “Jeez! What is with these people?! Not a single one of them remembers a damn thing!”

“It may not be a mere coincidence.” Robin says thoughtfully beside the groaning sniper. No sooner than she said that, a low rumbling grows louder and Nami, on her Waver, drives towards them.

Luffy calls out to her but she U-turns and hightails it back the way she came.

“Matte*!” Luffy yells, shooting out an arm and pulling her back. ‘Why do you keep running away, Nami?”

“I’m not letting you have this!” she commands, clutching at the bag of gold she snatched from the ship. “You won’t get to it even if you kill me!”

“That’s unthinkable!” the cook shouts, fist clenched tightly. “No beautiful lady should ever come to harm! I won’t lay one finger on you!”

“Even though I’d really like to…” he finishes, cheeks flushed and heart eye popping out.

Nami scoots down the bench, trying her best to discreetly move away from the ero-blonde. ‘Agh, he’s such a creep! I don’t want him touching me!’ She turns back to Luffy, “Okay, how about we make a deal. I’ll give you 10% of my treasure if you take me back to Cocoyashi Village.”

“Dame da*.” Luffy says firmly.

“Okay, how about 20%?” Nami negotiates only to get the same answer. “30%?!”, “Dame da.” She grits her teeth. “Fine! It’ll kill me, but I’ll give you 50! 50%!!” Still. The man refuses her offer.

She jumps up from her seat in frustration. “RAHG! Just how much will it take to satisfy you?!” she screams into Luffy’s face.

“None.” Nami’s stunned, ‘None??’  “There’s no way you’d give me even one belly. You really love your treasure, Nami.”

“Eh? How did you know what I was thinking?” She snaps a hand over her mouth, ‘Shimatta*!’

“I know you! We’re nakama!” Luffy replies with a smile.

“Nani? Why would I be your nakama? That’s absurd! Ja*.” She hops back into her Waver and turns to leave, but Luffy stands in her way. “Please move.” she says unimpressed.

“No. Nami, you’re coming with us.”

“Jodan janai wa yo*! Why would I want to go with you?” She was prepared to run Luffy down when Robin stepped in.

“Koukaishi-san. When you came ashore, you noticed something unusual about this island, did you not?”

Nami froze, remembering the events from the day before. “The townsfolk had fought over a newspaper, it was like they all went insane. Then a boy showed up, he seemed … normal. Normal compared to the rest of the town. He had a strange horn that looked like a seahorse.”

Luffy flexed his arm with a cheeky grin on his face. “I got a good hit on him, shihihi! Then some smoke came out of the horn. When it went into my body, I got my memories back!”

“Thats ridiculous.” “No,” Chopper said next to her. “It’s true! I saw it with my own eyes.” He said, pointing at his eyes.

‘What the hell is that thing?! A tanuki??”

“I remember seeing that shitty brat two nights ago. He’s definitely involved in all of this, but why did he come back?”

“Perhaps because he couldn’t steal all of them at once. From what I know, you have been on many adventures during your journey. Perhaps he got hungry again and came back.”

“Ooh! Are memories tasty?” “So that boy did this?” “Yosha! Let’s go beat that kid up and get everyone’s memories and Zoro back!”

“It won’t be easy but we need to give that pissant a good beatdown.” “Can't we just forget about Zoro, even if he gets his memories back how are we going to be comfortable sailing with the Pirate Hunter?”

“Zoro is our swordsman, Nami is our Navigator. They are our nakama!”

“How can you say that?! Why would I be your nakama?!”

“I’ll be bothered if you don’t come. You can’t sail a ship without a navigator!” Nami backs down after hearing this. “Robin, do you know where to find the chibi*?”

“Well… there is one place I think he might be. We can check there.”

“Yosh! Ikuzo*!” Luffy cheers. He grabs Nami by the hand and starts down the road.

“Matte!” Nami yells, looking back at her waver. “My gold!”

“Don’t worry my lady!” Sanji spins with flourish. “I will carry your luggage!” He grabs her bag and runs after them. “If I can be with Nami-san, this is but a simple task!”

“Oi, Chopper. You think you can make medicine for that guy?” “I’m afraid not, Usopp. He’s a lost cause.”

‘Hm?’

Zoro is sitting near a waterfall, eating his catch of the day.

‘Strange. I know it’s good, it tastes just fine. It’s cooked, no weird stuff in it, but why do I feel like this isn’t good enough?’ He takes another bite, and stares at the beast grilling over his small fire. ‘Ha!’ he laughs to himself. ‘I’m actually wishing a restaurant was nearby. A big juicy steak with potatoes and gravy would be great right now. Or curry… Fuck, what else have I forgotten?’

A rustle in the bushes ahead of him makes his ears twitch, He feels the same presence he felt the night before. He looks up as a young boy with a cape and spiny pink toy approaches him.

“If you’re hungry, help yourself.” he says to the boy who sits a few feet away.

“I’m a bit hungry, but I don’t eat things like this.”

‘Things like what? Food?’ Zoro wonders as he looks between the boy and the fish. “So ka*?” is all he replies and continues eating.

The boy looks at him with lazy eyes and a soft smile. “Aren’t you curious as to who I am? You haven’t asked me yet.” Zoro ignores him, not like who the kid is is that important. He’s probably just a curious little runt watching a cool, tough, swordsman - such as himself - train and refine his skills. “Well,” the boy continues, “the people of this island don’t even remember their own names, but you probably didn’t bother asking them though.”

‘What’s that supposed to mean, brat?’ still pointedly ignoring the kid as he eats.

“You’re on a journey to become the world’s strongest, aren’t you Nii-chan*?”, ‘This kid knows me?’, “In that case, I think Monkey D. Luffy would be just the opponent for you.”

‘Luffy? The kid from the ship.’

“You mean that straw hat wearing idiot?”

“Hmm, I would have thought that Roronoa Zoro could see a man’s strength. Was I wrong, Nii-chan?”

The kid goes on and on about gyojin*, shichibukai*, gods and marines as he dances around laughing maniacally. “I’ve never seen a pirate like him before!” Zoro isn’t as impressed.

“Don’t fuck with me, brat! I ain’t in the mood for your bullshit fairytales.”

The kid leans in close, eyes wide and sinister. Even his doll thing is staring at him. “Ne, you feel like fighting Luffy now, right?” The starfish looking doll starts to glow and hum loudly. Zoro moves for Wado but suddenly freezes. He can’t seem to look away from the starfish thing. His body feels heavy, he can’t move. The boy is snickering at him, like he’s just accomplished an evil plan. A bright light flashes before his eyes, then as quickly as it all started, it stops and he blacks out.

They trekked through the forest and winding paths. Birds chirps as they flew overhead, butterflies and ladybugs fluttered around from flower to flower. Some floating by and around the travelers, some falling prey to a hungry orb weaver’s silky net.

The strapping young lad with the pack on his back couldn’t help but be in awe of his surroundings. The sights, the sounds, the lovely flame-haired beauty that kept flicking glances his way. Everything was enchanting, minus the creepy crawly multi-legged monsters.

‘Nami-san keeps looking at me, this can only mean one thing!’ his blush darkens and little hearts fly around him. ‘She’s fallen in love with me!’ His shoulders shake with love-struck excitement. He turns towards her and shoots her a flirtatious wink. ‘Back at ya!’

She kyas* with a shy-school-girl-talking-to-her-sempai*’s cuteness. ‘Ah! She does love me! We’ll be so happy together!’

‘W-what?!’ Nami takes a step back and turns away, not wanting to look at the blonde. ‘Does that mean he’s about to make off with my precious gold?! This guy is freaking me out!’

Robin stops ahead of the herd and kneels down to study a runestone* at the entrance of a tunnel of trees.

“Did you find something, Robin?”

“I believe I have, Senchou-san. The real memory thief has been unmasked.”

“You mean that shitty kid isn’t the one who stole them?”

She gently smiles at her crew. “Come, let’s go to the Palace of the Sea God.” She turns and beckons them to follow.

“Is he really here?” Chopper worries at the back of the group. “It feels a bit tranquil here.”

“D-don’t let your guard down, Chopper!” Usopp says next to him. “This is that shitty brat’s base!” he states with false bravery. ‘Why does a brave warrior sound so much like that ero-cook?’

“He probably has some huge and terrible monsters for henchmen!”

“Eh?! M-monster?!”

“Yeah! Monsters are known to sneak up behind you and then…” Usopp contorts his face into that of a laughing jackle’s, “GWAAR*!”, Chopper jumps two feet into the air at the sudden scream. “They eat you up in one bite!

“Oh, that’s right.” He then says thoughtfully with a smug look on his face, palm wrapped around his chin. “I was once ambushed by many a beast during my journeys across the sea.”

There’s a rustle in a tree branch behind him, but the pathological liar doesn’t seem to notice. But the young doctor does. His fur stands straight up and sweat begins to fall into his eyes when he sees it. It was big, it was scary, and it was PINK! “Oi! Behind yo…!”

“Eh? What’s wrong, little buddy?” he giggles at the shaking boy. “Did you see a monster or something? That trick’s not gonn-

“YIIIAAAH~!!”

The large pink boa* wraps its length around the “warrior’s” body, tightly constricting to suffocate his meal.

“AHH! Get it off me!” Usopp cries, tears streaming down his cheeks and sliding against and underneath the snake’s smooth scales as they rub against his face.

“NO WAY!” Chopper yells back, running away from his helpless and terrified new friend. “Get away from me!”

“Wait! Please!” Usopp chasing after the reindeer, “It’s just a snake! A snake, I tell you! HELP ME!!”

Chopper trips over an unearthed tree root, causing Usopp to trip over him, and both boys roll down a bumpy hill, crashing into brush and boulders until finally coming to a skidding stop in a small clearing.

“Oh,” Chopper slowly sits up, rubbing tears and dirty from his small furry face. “I’m so dizzy.”

Usopp jumps and pats down his body looking for any remnants of the infernal reptile that almost took his life. Finding none, he begins laughing in triumph. “Mwahahah! Take that, you snake! Flee in terror of the great Capta~in Usopp!!”

“Oi!” He turns to find Chopper clutching at a tree, hiding half of his face. “We’ve lost the others, kono yaro!! What if more monsters attack us?!” Tears begin to fall from his big brown eyes once again.

“Oi oi, I was just joking about that. There aren’t any monsters here.” Usopp confesses with a gentle smile. Chopper sighs a breath of relief. “Yokatta*. It was just a joke. Oi, teme! You were making fun of me! Kono ya-” His rant is cut short when a bush nearby rustle and a figure emerges.

“It’s a monster! Here! Eat him! He’s only a tanuki, but he’s delicious!” Usopp yells, holding up an equally frightened Chopper as a shield and offering.

The figure approaches the two and just glares at them. “Oh, it’s you, Zoro. You scared Chopper.” “What about you!” Chopper, who he’s still holding onto tightly yells at him. ‘Why is he staring at us like at?’ he gulps in fear. “W-well, if you changed your mind and decided you want to join my crew then I won’t mind being you Capt-”

His words reach deaf ears as the man walks away from them. “Wait!” Chopper runs after the swordsman, “Do you know where the others are? Don’t leave us behind.”

The two follow Zoro in hope of finding the other pirates.

‘… Mugiwara no Luffy …’

Robin is leading her group along the path when a voice is heard behind them.

“Oi! Matte-kure!” They turn and see Usopp running towards them. In front of him are Chopper and … Zoro?

“It’s that shitty swordsman, again.” Sanji grinds his teeth into his cigarette. ‘Damn, I was hoping that guy wouldn’t come back.’ He sees something in the man’s eyes, they seem blank but menacingly dark. ‘He’s…?’

Luffy greats his crewmate with a gleeful smile, “Did you decide to join us? I knew you’d come back, Zoro.”

Zoro’s narrow eyes widen, determination fills his features and he strikes. Boshi* falls off and flies in the wind. From where Robin and Sanji stand, their Captain, the man who claimed to be the next Pirate King, has lost his head. Screams fill the air. Pirate Hunter Zoro attacked and killed a man right before their eyes.

“Ara? Zoro?” Luffy, who had ducked his stretchy neck down, catches his hat and turns to his crewmate with a meek smile, “What was that about?” His smile falls when he sees the look in Zoro’s eyes. He’s different, something is wrong. Zoro is not being very Zoro-like. Luffy senses the danger, but doesn’t act quickly enough as the swordsman unsheathes another katana.

Robin is about to interfere when Sanji stops her. “Hang on, I don’t think you should do that. Something is wrong with that guy. He’s acting completely different than before. You don’t think…?”

Zoro breaks into a run towards Luffy and slashes for his midsection. Luffy quickly dodges to the right and stretches up into a tree. “Zoro, that’s dangerous! Stop it.”

The swordsman ignores him and with a quick flick of his left wrist, cuts straight through the tree trunk, bringing it and the boy pirate down. The others run clear of the falling timber’s path. “You’re being reckless, Zoro!” Luffy calls out from somewhere inside the brush. He peeks his head out and looks at his friend. “Maa, I guess telling you to stop isn’t going to work.” Zoro growls at his carefree tone.

“What’s gotten into him?” Usopp questions from behind a tree. “It seems to be some form of hypnosis. I think that kid did this to him.” Chopper answers from his not-so-hiding spot in front of a tree.

“If thats the case,” the cook queries as he sets Nami’s bag down. “he’s going to be trouble. We should put him down together.”

“Stay out of this.” Luffy states as he cracks his knuckles sharply. “You guys go ahead and find that kid. I’ll take care of things here.” Speechless, the others leave in search for the memory thief.

Zoro zeros in on Luffy, striking out at him but his blade only meets wood and leaves as Luffy leaps into the air.

“Gomu Gomu no…” he pulls his arm back high. “Pistol!” Zoro deftly evades and his fist pierces through the fallen tree, sending bark, dust and rubble flying in all directions.

No one notices the young boy watching them from afar. “I’ll leave him to you, Roronoa Zoro.” He walks off into the forest, snickering to himself jovially, looking for his next puppet to control.

Zoro unsheathes Wado and slips her into his mouth, teeth grinding into the worn leather-wrapped tsuka*. He lunges at Luffy, eyes filled with enmity and lashes out with a backhand slash. Luffy swiftly dodges it and follows with his left, only for the rubbery boy to leap out of the way. The straw hat vaults up and back flips on his hand out of Wado’s path to charge back at Zoro fists clenched tightly at his sides.

“Gomu Gomu no…!” Zoro surges towards him. “Gatling!” His arms shoot out to fiercely fast, it gives the illusion that he grew multiple arms. Somehow Zoro knows this and easily evades the flying fists, sliding side to side and ducking when needed. He bobs and weaves through the fury, inching closer and closer until he’s able to deliver his blow. Two swords come crashing down, he takes another mighty swing at Luffy with his white katana. Luffy barely dodges the third, the tip of the blade grazing him. The first drops of blood of the battle slowly drip down his right cheek, mirroring the scar on his left.

Luffy grins with mirth, he seems to be having more fun than anything else. Zoro can’t understand why this kid was enjoying himself. They are in the middle of a battle to the death. ‘Why does this feel so wrong?’ Zoro crosses his arms and crouches low. “Oni … Giri*!” Mugiwara doesn’t see it coming as the swordsman, all speed and power, careens past him. Swords spread wide, Wado’s blade gleaming high.

Luffy drops to his knees and clutches at his chest. Two shallow slices cross over and cover his torso. Any deeper and he was sure he would be bleeding out all over the earth. ‘Zoro…? He held back.’ Luffy stands and looks at a glaring Zoro. ‘He’s still in there.’ Luffy pulls an arm back and shoots his pistol at his nakama’s stomach, sending him hurtling into a tree.

Three more trees fall in their wreckage and Zoro gets trapped under their crowns. A call of “Gomu Gomu No Stamp”  and a leg shoots into the brush. He crosses his arms and blocks it just in time. Zoro leaps out into the open, hand swords pulled back and cross over Wado, and brings his Tora Gari* down onto the nimble boy, slash after slash is expertly dodged and avoided.  They race through the tree lines down a slope looking for their next opening. Luffy finds his first.

Luffy throws another punch but misses Zoro vaults sideways and sends another Tora Gari his way. Luffy hops up and spins between the blades that glide through a tree with ease, slicing it into three pathetic pieces of timber. They turn back and stare each other down, trying to read one another’s advances. They both know its useless. They have reached a stalemate. Each attack useless against the other. But the swordsman’s not finished yet.

He shifts his stance, “Santoryu…Ogi!” He brings his hand swords up, hilts together and begins to rotate them slowly, gradually gaining speed. Luffy throws his arms back, stretching as far as he can. “Gomu Gomu No…” Twin blades spin faster and faster, dust kicks up and brush flutters in the force of the turbine, a small vortex forming behind the man. Both men charge at each other in unison, but Luffy is the first to attack.

“Bazooka!” “Sanzen Sekai*!”

Flesh meets leather as Luffy’s hands pound into Zoro’s hilts, sparks fly as metal meets stone. The pressure between the two opposing attacks build up until the force pushes them apart, sending them crashing in to the earth.

“Sometimes, unexplained events occur on the Grand Line. You’ve heard stories about sailors losing their memories while at sea, haven’t you? It was written on the stone marker. A story of a beast that ate the memories of people in order to live. It seems he has made this island his home. It’s nothing more than a legend, but that explanations makes the most sense.”

They had arrived at a gulf on the remote side of the island. Pools of crystal blue water layered along the cliffs, white stone and coral pillars towered out from the water and tree lines

“Memories are created everyday.” The tall, black haired archeologist continues. “He must be steadily eating the memories of this island’s inhabitants.”

“I see.” Sanji says beside her. “It’s like raising broiler chickens.” He puffs on his cigarette a few more moments before speaking again. “It’s a lot to take in, but the fact that our memories are at stake remains.”

“Stop right there!” a voice calls from over head. They look up, and see the boy standing on top of a grassy pillar. “Pirates just don’t know when to quit! But I’ll control you, just like I did that pathetic swordsman…” He removes his hood, and holds his seahorse horn out. “...and have you kill each other.” The seahorses eyes glow an eerie red, a hum echos through the air.

“Oh no!” Robin crosses her arms and sprouts arms out of either side of Nami and Usopp’s heads, who were standing near the child. They begin to panic when her hands clamp down on their face and shield their eyes.

The boy points the seahorse at him and Sanji surges forwards and leaps into the air. A flash of light beams out of the seahorse and Sanji quickly closes his eyes. ‘It’s not the kid!’ He extends a foot out and kicks out in front of him to where he thinks the memory stealing bastard is.

All three fall to the ground from the impact. Bright blue mist escapes the seahorse’s mouth and flows into the boy’s sinuses and lips. He raises himself up and is frightened to see the people standing in front of him. “P-pirates?” Sanji gives him a dark look that sends the boy running back to town.

“Cook -san. The boy was being controlled.”

Sanji looks down at the horn and puts two and two together. Evidently, two and two equals one dead shithorse. The seahorse hops up onto his curled tail and makes a break for it, only for Sanji to cut him off and kick him back to the clearing. More blue mist flows out of its mouth as it crashes into a stone tower and floods into everyone’s, except Robin’s, senses. Sanji continues to deliver kick after kick. “I’m still not done with you, kuso tako!!” With one final kick the seahorse is sent into the sea and all stops.

The dust settles around them and Zoro is the first to rise. As he sheaths his katanas, he finds a straw hat pin down by some rocks. He looks around and finds a swatch of red off to the side. He approaches to find the boy crushed under a few large boulders. He stares at the hat in his hands before resting it on the head of black hair. He turn to leave and find his next victim.

‘Just stay there Captain. I’ll take care of this.’

Usopp, Nami and Chopper come racing after him crying out cheers.

“You did it!” “They’re back!” “We go our memories back!”

Robin questions if he, too, regained his memories, resulting in him spinning around in his usual noodly-dance, hearts flying around his head and eyes.

“But of course I’m back, my lovely ladies~!” he cooes out. ‘Perfect...’ the four other pirates sweatdrop. “You’re both beautiful even when I have my memories~! But...” He straightens and puts on a more serious face. “We don’t know if the marimo idiot’s gotten his back.”

And speaking of the devil, the swordsman appears behind them, black bandana shadowing his features. He slowly unsheathes his katanas and places Wado in his mouth. Around him the Mugiwaras worriedly question Luffy’s whereabouts and Zoro’s mental state.

Sanji, lit cigarette in hand, steps up to the approaching marimo. ‘Even after all that he’s still being controlled? Useless son of a bitch!’ He stands tall, ready to defend his precious ladies.

A splash behind them and Zoro spots the memory stealing bastard surface on the waters. The thing squawks and Chopper translates for them to hear.

“I still have my last resort! Cut them apart, Roronoa Zoro!”

Zoro’s eyes narrow and he charges forward, but the stupid ero-cook gets in his way and surges for him. “You shitty swordsman! Why are you always making things difficult?” The blonde leaps and spins. “Collier...Shoot!”

Zoro barely blocks the kick, the force of the attack crumbling the ground beneath him. He looks up and growls out at the blonde. “Jama* suru na… kono aho-cook!!”

Sanji’s scowl falls and avoids the man’s gaze. ‘Oh. Nevermind.’ He drops his leg down and steps aside. He’s about to say something when the marimo suddenly crashes into him and sends him flying. A familiar laugh rings in his ears as he crashes into a boulder.

“ZORO~!”

Amongst the rubble, Sanji and Zoro straighten and look down at the dusty, cut up Captain laying in their laps. “Damn it, Luffy! What the hell was that for?!” Zoro yells, smashing Luffy’s face into the ground.

“Oi, aho!” Sanji says behind him. “Get that evil look off your face!” He wraps his fingers around Zoro’s face and stretches his lips and cheeks out. “When you get your memories back you should have a big smile on your face! SMILE, you idiot!!”

Zoro snarls and jerks his head out of the touchy-grabby-ero-cook’s hands. “Shut the fuck up, asshole!” he barks at him, using his Captain’s head as a mallet and sends the dumbass to the ground. This causes Luffy to temporarily lose his memory before yelling at him for using him like some sort of weapon against his nakama.

“Asshole! Quit messing around!” Sanji jumps up and knees him in the ribs.

“You’re the one messing around, retard!” Zoro retorts, punching the cook in his shoulder blade. The two continue punching, kicking and pulling each other’s hair before a splash reminds them of their current foe. Zoro spots the seahorse trying to flee under water and dives in.

“TEME! How dare you try to control me! When I catch you, I’ll gut you and serve you for dinner!!” He grabs hold of the dragon horn and tries to wrestle it out of the water. Through the struggle and splashing he can hear a certain long nose spewing nonsense again.

“Oh, so you saw me!” Luffy starts, his voice in a higher register.

“Hey, you won’t catch me!” Usopp continues with an equally high voice.

‘So ka? Just wait!” Usopp drops his voice much lower than his own. He continues switching between low and high registers, creating a monologue for the scene before them.

“Haha! Too slow!” “Yosha! How about this?” “I’m over here~!” “Ehh? How?! I’ll cut you apart” The other pirates behind him try desperately to contain themselves.

Zoro finally grabs a hold of the fish-faced bastard and yanks him out of the waters.

“Ahaa! I’ve got you! You’re not getting away from me this time.” And with that, the others burst out in mirth. Even Robin couldn’t control herself and let out a jovial laugh from behind the hand.

Zoro wades in the water and looks straight at the sniper. “You’re next, Usopp!” No one heeds mind to his words but cease their fun when the seahorse speaks again.

“Now for my last resort?!” Chopper iterates in fear. The seahorse spews a purple fog around them and soars up onto a nearby pillar. “You meddling pirates have caused me to lose all the memories I took from the villagers, but yours seems to be just enough for me to finally transform.”

“Transform?” Sanji questions behind him. “Into what?!”

“I will not be denied!” Chopper says as the seahorse releases a bright orb of white light. The Mugiwaras freeze as blue glittering mist seeps from their bodies, and float towards the slowly growing memory thief. The seahorse’s small figure begins to bloat and swell as the memories fill him. Once the last of the mist has been absorbed inside him, the light dims down revealing his body that has become 500 times* its original size.

“What the hell is that thing!” Luffy yells out at the floating pink blob.”And…who am I?” Around him the five other people question the same thing. A green haired man surfaces in the water, gasping for the air he was starved of. “Oi, drowning guy! Do you know who I am?”

“How would I fucking know?!” he snaps. ‘I don’t even know who I am!’

Above them the big pink floaty thing honks out, a small brown thing with a pink hat speak ups. “Finally! I’ve become a Sennenryuu*!”

“Whoa! You understand it? What are you? A talking tanuki?” two boys pound the small creature with questions.

“What?! I’m a tanuki?!” apparently being the most important information the little thing processed.

The seven confused people each go through their own series of mental questions of whys and hows. The boy who first spoke seems to be the least concerned of the group.

“Sugoi! A dragon? I want to ride it!” He backs up trying to get a better view of the flying thing, but his foot gets caught between two rocks and he falls back and off the cliff. Amazingly, his leg stretches and slinks him back up like a bungee cable and he’s sent sailing towards the “dragon”.

“Ooh! I stretched!” “H-H-He stretched!” “How can he stretch?! Is he a monster?! “MONSTER! IYA!”

He lands on the dragon with a heavy thud, arms and legs shooting around it’s form and hugging it tightly. “My arms and legs are stretching! Kakkoii*!”

The impact causes the dragon to spit up some weird blue smoke right into his face. The flying beast tries desperately to shake him off but it only makes the boy boy hold it even tighter. “Let go, dammit! The memories are spilling out!” The other people here this and stare at the talking tanuki. ‘Memories??’

More blue mist spills out and surrounds the rubbery boy. He snorts up the sweet sparkling dust and growls. “You just can’t stop, can you?! Bastard!”

“I’ve finally become a Sennenryu! Don’t try to stop me!”

“What was that?!” Luffy releases his arms from around the dragon horn. “You can’t steal other people’s memories! If you want to be a Sennenryu, make your own!”

“I will end this!!” Chopper says from below. The dragon wannabe prepares another flash but Luffy acts quicker.

He throws his arm back and fires. “Gomu Gomu no Pistol~!” He follows through with a Gomu Gomu No Stamp and send the seahorse flying far into the distance. The force flattens it and the blue memory mist comes spewing out once again, and hopefully, for the last time. The seahorse disappears in the sky, a glint of of sunlight reflecting off its skin the last of it seen.

The drifting fog fill the remaining Mugiwaras’ lungs and sinuses, their eyes blurring slightly before becoming brightly clear. They got their memories back, and they wishfully hope they never lose them again.

Sanji’s mind floods with memories of ships, seas, storms and rocks. Starvation hits him hard but its quickly pushed aside when he recalls his life on the Baratie; when he first tasted Zeff’s cooking; when he sliced him thumb wide open peeling apples, thrice, at the same time*! When his old man made him Sous Chef, when his old man accidentally called him his son. When Luffy burst through his restaurant and dragged him out on an adventure to find the greatest treasure in the world; his being All Blue. Then he remembers Zoro. Their fights, their arguments, specifically the most recent. It’s not fun losing your memories. It had felt horrible not knowing who your own self was, what more being controlled. Suddenly, Sanji feels very guilty.

Zoro’s mind flood with memories of the first time he held a katana, his first fight, his childhood rival, her death and how it affected him. His promise, still alive and true. He’d never forget it ever again no matter what happens, no matter who tries to steal his memories. He remembers starving for days and needing to becoming a bounty hunter. He remembers how bounty hunter got him in trouble and caused him to starve even more. He remembers being in that Marine base and Luffy recruiting him. He remembers meeting each of his crewmates and the great times they’ve had together. He remembers the cook. That faggot, pansy ass ero-bastard that finds a need to piss him off on a daily basis. He remembers the Davy Back Fight, how they nearly lost their lives as Mugiwaras and almost became Foxies.

He’s completely pissed at the moment and is equally confused when the Guru*-Cook leans over the bank and extends an arm out to him.

“Oi.” Sanji says in an almost apologetic voice. Zoro frowns at this. “You’re gonna catch a cold, come on.” Zoro takes his hand and climbs out of the cold water.

Behind them, Luffy laughs triumphantly. “Shihihihihi! I kicked his ass!”

Spirits are high as they make their way down the mountain back to the small village. It had been a rough couple of days but as the sunsets, the Mugiwara crew couldn’t feel like anything could spoil their evening.

"Well,” Usopp says with a wide smile. “I bet those villagers are excited to see us! After all, we saved the day and got everyone’s memories back! They'll give us a hero's welcome!"

"Heh! I could cut loose on the booze, again haha!" Zoro laughs, it had been a while since he had a good bottle of sake. ‘The last one had been, what? The Davy Back Fight? Long time.’

"Got something you want to forget, eh Marimo?" Sanji says offhandedly beside him.

“Urusai, teme.” The thought actually sparks something in Zoro. ‘What if…? Nah. That’s just stupid.’ “Don’t think stupid crap. Maybe you should straighten out that freakish eyebrow of yours. It’s obviously fucking with your brain.

“What was that you piece of shit?!” Sanji throws a knee at Zoro’s back, making the man stumble slightly. “You’re the freak with your parasitic algae! You’re the one who needs to get checked out!”

“EH? You wanna go twinkle toes?!”

“Let’s go, Tennenkinenbutsu*!”

Their fight gets cut short when Nami’s fists land on their heads. She calms the tick in her forehead and tries to focus on the villagers. "I hope we get a reward! A big one! In CASH!!" She says excitedly, Belly signs shining in place of her eyes.

The rest of the crew discuss the things they would like to get while they party in the village. It’s exciting to be treated like heroes for once. After all they are pirates.

They arrive to find the whole town gathered to greet them, but the strange thing is the boy who they had had problems with during their whole escapade on the island was standing in front of the crowd.

"I-It was them!" The boy cried, clutching at a woman who looked strangely like him. “They stole our memories!” Someone in the crowd yells and the mob suddenly charges at them. They Mugiwaras quickly figure out what’s going on and make a break for it.

“Hold it right there, you filthy pirates!” an outraged citizen yells. “You memory thieves! And you, girl! Pay for your room!"

"Looks like we're leaving empty handed,” Zoro chimes. “but it can't be helped!

"They left us only one choice!” Nami says when she finds her waver sitting next to a fountain. She grabs her bag of gold from Sanji and mounts her vehicle. She revs the jet dial and speeds off running down the charging people, clearing a path for her nakama back to the Going Merry.

They unfurl the sails and raise anchor. They didn’t stay long enough to set a log so Nami say’s they’ll just have to find another electro-magnetic path to follow along the Grand Line.

"My huge bronze statue…” Luffy whines from his seat on the mast.

“Would you shut up about that god damned statue!” Nami screamed at her moping Captain.

“But Nami! I was so~ close. It would have been a dragon. A real dragon. A cool~, dark, bronze statue~."

"But, man…” Usopp says from where he sits on the upper deck of the prow. “Losing your memories sure can cause you a lot of trouble"

"Got that right.” Sanji pipes up as he lights a cigarette. “We had someone scheming to form his own pirate crew"

Usopp starts doing a creepy, anti-seductive belly dance. "Sanji-kun, you can still join. Join! C'mon, join! Join! Join! Join!"

Sanji sighs "And come to think of it, some other shithead beautifully got his mind and body taken over."

“What was that, curly bastard?" Zoro growls next to him by against the main mast.

"If you had kept watch like you were supposed to, none of this would've happened in the first place. Aho Marimo."

Zoro flinches. ‘Kuso, he just had to bring that up, didn’t he?’ "Shut up! I was sleepy!”

"If you like sleeping that much, just sleep for the rest of your life!" Sanji teases.

Zoro grabs the front of his shirt and snarls in his face. “If you like bitching that much, why don’t I help you sleep with the fish?!”

They toss a few fists and feet before Nami comes in and separates them. "That's enough bickering! Or should I give the both of you another dose of amnesia?"

Robin smiles at her crewmates, happy to see them back to their normal selves. She thinks back to how she felt when the seahorse eat her memories and a sullen look fills her eyes. Chopper, who was standing beside her, sees the melancholy and asks if she’s alright. She looks down at him and smiles gently at the concerned doctor. “I'm fine, Sei’ni-san*. I'm just a little tired.”

"I don't blame you. Robin-chan didn't get to sleep at all during that whole ordeal. Yosh, I'm going to prepare an extra-special barbecue dinner tonight!" Sanji heads for the galley to start dinner.

“Yaa! Sanji, meshi!"

Robin had slept, Nami added to her log, Zoro trained, and the boys had reenacted all of their adventures the few short hours it took for Sanji to prepare the meal. They still had some fresh produce from Long Ring Long Land to go with their mealbut they’ll be needing to restock soon considering their Captain’s diet. The Mugiwara Kaizoku Dan had a very late dinner that evening but would have started sooner if a certain alcohol-tolerant neanderthal didn’t barge in demanding grog.

Zoro had entered the galley as Sanji prepared marinade for the meats and fish, and dug through the pantry looking for sake*. Sanji had made an offhand comment about Zoro drinking his problems away, possibly wanting to forget something, and the swordsman nearly bit his head off. And that was something that bothered Sanji. Normally, the swordsman would snarl at the cook for not minding his own business and they’d start another one of their usual bickering wars. Zoro had a short fuse, much like Sanji did and could easily be irritated, much like Sanji. But this time, Zoro was eerily quiet. He had ignored Sanji and continued his search for bottles.

“Oi, aho. You go deaf or something?” Sanji commented as he made vegetable kabobs for Chopper and the ladies, but Zoro didn’t answer. His stance was very tense, jaw set tight and a deep scowl furrowed into his green eyebrows. He looked like he was inches from having a conniption. “Hey, don’t hurt yourself there.”

Sanji assumed it was about him falling asleep and getting controlled by that shitty seahorse, and didn’t push the matter. That was, until Zoro demanded for the stronger liquor.

“No way, Marimo. Drink that cheap shit you got left in the storeroom.” he had said. The refusal seemed to have pushed the swordsman over the edge. The swordsman slammed the pantry door shut causing Sanji to jump slightly and nearly drop his knife. He shoved past the cook and stormed out of the galley.

When it came to their snarky bickering, Zoro never got too violent, but there was something definitely wrong here.

Whendinner came, they had fought about extra servings and not savoring food, they fought about Zoro’s monstrous drinking capacity and how that he wasn’t allowed to have any of their better bottles reserved for the ladies. Their arguing turned physical when the jackass marimo flicked grains of rice in the curly-cook’s hair,gavea half-assed “sorry” and claimed he had “slipped”; but Nami put swiftly ended the dispute before it got out of hand even further.

Usopp was assigned to watch duty that night; the others worried if the seahorse would turn up again, they would need a watchful eye on look out. Zoro had taken slight offense to the insinuation, which turned into full on rage when Sanji made yet another snarky comment about his awareness capabilities, and slept on the deck.

Author Notes and Glossary

And that’s my first action scene. I’m happier with how this chapter went, though it did take forever and the ending could have gone a bit better. I want to put recipes in now and then, some full some partial, but my beta says that it’s boring as hell and irrelevant! Yo! I’m not paying you with food so you can bitch about food! Cuz to me, that’s bass ackwards! I pay you with food, you should be fucking happy. Yes, I pay my beta. Why? Because he wouldn’t do it otherwise. Why with food? Because that’s how you get to a man’s heart. Not just through his mouth with your fist! Well, we fought about that for days. (‘H’)

Editor in Chief, Sinn-sama, notes:

Sinn: Speaking of punches, did you know she punched me in the jaw once, and caused my wisdom tooth to become inflamed? I couldn’t eat solid food for TWO whole weeks. Had to go to my dentist to get the swelling down. :-/ BDM-Sensei: I punched you in the throat that time you KNEED ME IN THE FACE, YOU SHIT! S: You started it! B: Don’t make me Dos Fleur Grab yer junk! S: Gomen yo, Sensei. *bows* B: What kind of 30 year old man still has his wisdom teeth, anyway? Freak… S: Look who’s talking, Miss 22-and-still-has-two-baby-teeth. B: You bitch!!

ANYWAYS! Thank you so much for reading! Please review! Next chapter suu~per coming out soon!

Gomu-ningen - rubber (gomu), human (ningen). Hito also means human, but it’s more like saying ‘person’ and not an actual species.

Yosha  - or yosh. The proper term is Yoshi. OK, alright, yeah.

200 C - roughly 400 fahrenheit

Everything Burrito - I’m half as addicted to Adventure Time as I am to One Piece.

Matte - wait/hold it.

Dame da - as explained before, dame means no. Da is like ‘desu’ but casual. A bit masculine, sorta, I guess? Nami says it sometimes, but from what I know it’s too informal, so most women don’t use it. From what I know, Robin and Brook don’t use da.

Shimatta - though translated as ‘damn it’, it actually means ‘it happened’. Like an ‘oh no’ or ‘oops’

Ja - bye. Ja na and ja ne are the same.

Ne - considered feminine or cutesy, but both sexes can say ne. Chopper, Luffy and Usopp say ne a lot, but I think it’s because they’re cute and innocent. Sanji does because he’s the ero-cook. I don’t think there’s an actual rule, but if you’re a guy and you have asshole friends that know japanese, don’t say ne. Say na. Because I have asshole friends, and they are assholes.

Jodan janai wa yo - “Stop joking!” “Don’t kid around”. Joke (jodan), negatory (janai), femininity (wa yo). This was infamised by Bentham aka Mr. 2 Bon Kurei. (I love screaming this in public)

Chibi - small, little, mini, tiny. When used like Luffy does, he means little runt.

Ikuzo - ‘Let’s go!’

So - ‘so desu’ = “That is so/That is right.”, ‘so desu ne’ = “Isn’t that so? Isn’t that right?”, ‘so ka’ or ‘so desu ka’ = “Is that so?”. It’s like saying “really” or “for real”. ‘Ka’ makes it a question.

Nii-chan - Means brother, but can also be used to refer to an man, whether older or not. A much older man is referred to as ji-san or jii-san, Uncle/Gramps respectively. Chan - is used to be friendly, childish or cute.

Gyojin - fishmen

Shichibukai - “Seven Warlords” / “Seven Warlords of The Sea”. Shichi = seven.

Kya - love-struck screaming. Think back to when you were in the 5th grade and you discovered Backstreet Boys, Westlife, F4, the Jonas Brothers, or Big Time Rush. I’m 22 and I kya’d at Steve Burns from Blues Clues. Yeah, I was a perv back then too XD He’s the reason why green is my favorite color. Zoro intensifies my love for green things.

Sempai - Upper-classman. Think you’re a freshman, and he/she’s a junior.

runestone - raised stone with a runic inscription. I have no idea what the next on the stone in the episode is, it does look like poneglyphics, but why would you put poneglyphics on a regular old rock, and talk about Sea God Palaces? That didn’t seem right to me. Runic is it!

Gwar - an awesome mock rock band. They dress in monster costumes, totally WoW shit. My top 5 Gwar songs are Saddam-a-Go-Go, Slaughterama, Have You Seen Me?, Fucking An Animal and Back In Crack.

Pink Boa- First of all, the snake was orange in the anime. Second it looked an awful lot like Nola from Skypiea. Third it’s a Spongebob reference, and FOURTH, can you imagine Usopp wearing a fluffy pink feather boa? Sexy ain’t it. I request someone to draw it. Onegai*!

Onegai - short for onegaishimasu. Formal and polite way to say ‘please’. Kudasai/kure are casual, chodai is feminine (I think), dozo is used when offering, like “Please have a seat.”

Yokatta - comes from the word ii, which means ‘good’. Yokatta means ‘that’s good’, ‘what a relief’, ‘thank goodness’, and ‘I’m glad’. If this doesn’t make sense add “you’re safe” at the end of each example.

Bōshi - means ‘hat’ and is what Luffy calls his straw hat. Oddly, Mugiwara alone means ‘straw’, so technically, they are the Straw Pirates and their Captain is Straw Luffy.

Tsuka - katana hilt

Oni Giri - Demon Slash

Tora Gari - Tiger Hunt

Santoryu Ogi: Sanzen Sekai - Three-Sword Style Secret Technique: Three Thousand Worlds

Jama - a hindrance, obstruction, obstacle, disturbance. Suru(to do) na completes the sentence.  Basically, “You’re in my way and annoying as fuck!”

500 times - I guessed him to be about 2 cubic feet big (1f x 2f) so 500 times would roughly be 27 cubic meters (10f or 3m on all sides), as big as a small bedroom. Math bitches!

Sennenryuu - Millennium Dragon. Refer to Warship Island Arc.

Kakkoii - cool

Apples - I’ve read this in so many fanfics and fandom sites but I can’t find a single wiki where Oda actually claimed this! If anyone out there knows where Oda said this; SBS, interview, anywhere! Please tell me. I need hard facts! Thanks!

Guru - curly, twirly, spinning, rotating, going round and round.

Tennenkinenbutsu - “natural monument”. Marimos are Japan’s National Treasure.

Sei’ni-san - Doctor-san. There’s a lot of different ways people claim Robin to call Chopper. Some say Sensei-san, Isha-san, Sen-san, etc, but everytime I hear it it sounds like Sei’ni-san. So I’m just going to put that and be done with it.

Mugiwara Kaizoku-dan - Straw Hat Pirate Crew. Dan means group, association, team.

Sake - rice wine. The term can also refer to any alcohol or spirit; wine, brandy, rum, vodka, etc.

Mature language, Japanese language, maybe some violence (human, marimo, or animal. Not sure yet). Mostly Sanji’s POV, I think. Pretty much written out episodes, but I threw in my own shit in, too. As lame as that sounds, this chapter is essential. Please don’t hate me, cuz it’s only chapter 2 and I’m already hating myself. I’m fucking this up ba~d.

Day 1: Dragon Dream pt 1

The ship swayed as gentle waves slapped against the hull. The red glow of dawn fading to a brilliant blue as the sun rose above the horizon.

Sanji is woken by a high pitch screaming coming from somewhere in the distance. ‘What the hell?’ He groans and pulls his pillow over his head. ‘Don’t tell me Patty started some shit before the breakfast rush again. Shitty mutant armed fucker.’ Sanji stretches out in his hammock with a groan. ‘Wait… Hammock? . . . !’

He shoots up to quickly misestimate his balance and fall to the hard wooden floor below. Somewhere nearby, the chef hears someone mutter. “Come back … you evil flying monkeys …” He shakes a limp fist at the ceiling, “Give me back my solidruby slippers! The Queen of Cinder Isle gave those to me after I saved her Munchkin Army from rogue pumpkins!”

Sanji slowly lifts himself up to his knees. A boy only younger than him by a couple years, with an unusually long nose, was laying in the next hammock over. ‘What the hell?’ The long nose man shifts sidesway in his sleep, tipping the hammock over andlands flat onhis face. Sanji cringes as he sees his nose bend at such an extreme angle.

“Itai …” the dark skin mystery man groans as he sleepily rubs at his face. “Even if you drop me from the tallest building I shall never be harmed!” The blabber boy sits up from his place on the floor and shoots a fist above his head, “Fore I am Ca~ptain~ Uso-” He stops mid sentence when he cracks an eye open to find a one-eyed blonde crouching on the floor across from him.

“YEEEHHH~!! CYCLOPS!!” Lightning quick, he scoots back into some stacked crates. “W-w-who are you!” He yells out at the blonde man, pointed finger shaking in fear. His gaze darts around the room, “Where the hell am I?” he mutters under his breath. He jumps as a loud snore is heard from behind him.

“One more plate!” The two men stand from their spots on the floor and look at the third man. “Gimme more meat!!” He’s wearing a red shirt and a yellow woven hat covering his face, “Just one more! No! Two more!” he cried holding up two fingers. “No! Three! No, four! No-”

His counting was cut short when a leather clad heel crashes down onto his head. “URUSAI!”

Standing up from where he had fallen, readjusting the hat on his head, the boy blurrily blinked at the two figures in front of him. “Ah? Ara*?” He stretches his arms above his head, “Aahh~ what a nice nap!” He hops up onto his sandaled feet and starts rummaging through cabinets and boxes. “Meshi* meshi meshi. Gotta find some breakfast.”

Sanji shakes his head as he walks over to the couch situated on the other side of what he assumed was the mast of the ship., ‘I have no idea what’s going on but that guy is surely out of his mind.’ He sits down and lights a cigarette, inhaling a soothing breath, effectively calming his nerves. “Oi.” he says to the dark skinned man sitting on the couch adjacent to him. He answers him with a startled ‘yes’. “Do you know what’s going on?” The other looks at him confused and unsure how to answer. “I’m Sanji. I’m a chef on the floating restaurant, Baratie. I went to sleep last night in my own bed, yet I woke up here, on a ship I’ve never been in with two men I’ve never met before. Do you know why that is?”

Longnose-san, as he had decided to name him, is clutching at the knees of his brown overalls. He appears to be nerve wracked by Sanji’s glare. ‘He doesn’t seem to know what’s going on.’  Meat-san, as he had decided to call the straw hatted boy, spoke up behind him. “Huh? What was that? You guys didn’t save me?” Sanji furrows his brow at him, ‘What? Saved him? What is he talking about?’

“Hi! I’m Luffy. I left my town to go on an adventure, but then there this huuuuuge whirlpool showed up! I didn’t know what to do, so I hid inside a barrel but then I got really dizzy. Next thing I know, I woke up here with you guys. I thought you saved me.”

‘What the hell? A whirlpool? Did something like that happen to Baratie? I don’t remember there being a storm last night. I’m not exactly sure I cantrust this guy. He’s too damn carefree. Maybe he has something to do with this.’

“Well? Do you know anything? something about this?” Sanji says turning to the longnose. “Do you know what we’re doing here?”

Longnose-san tenses and starts to shake. From the expression on his face, he seems to be having an internal battle with himself. After a moment, he finally speaks. “Okay. I’ll tell you.” He leans back in his seat and grins at the two men before him. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember anything. -”

‘This bastard does know something!’

“- We were attacked by that legendary monster whale, after all. After he swallowed you, I killed him and fished you out.”

‘Pssht! Like that really happened. Does he really think we’re going to believe that mumbo jum-’

“Ah, so that’s what happened! Thanks!” Sanji sweatdrops when he hears Meat-san open his mouth, again. ‘Tsk. This idiot can’t be serious.’

“Who the hell are you, anyway?” He can’t help but think this is all just some conniving scheme to make him become their cook. He is a world class chef, after all. ‘These people are probably trying to steal our secret formulas and take over the Baratie.’

“I’m so glad you asked!” The man jumps up and strikes an exaggerate pose, arm thrown back behind him, face contorted in angry concentration. “I am the leader of the greatest crew in all of East Blue - Usopp! My crew respects and refer to me as “Ca~ptain Uso~pp!”

‘Okay, this is complete and utter bullshit. Him? A captain? Who the hell does he think he’s fooli-’

“Waaah! CAPTAIN USOPP!”

“You remember him, Luffy?”

“Nope! Not at all!”

‘Oh right, this guy.’ Sanji hung his head in defeat.

This wasn’t getting them anywhere. Longnose-san, aka Usopp, was obviously a compulsive liar, and Meat-san, aka Luffy, was a blumbering idiot who believes absolutely anything. The two idiots started yelling about Usopp’s 8,000 men or something or other. ‘This guys has no idea what’s going on. He just woke up here like the rest of us did.’  “What a liar” he says aloud, not realizing he voicing his thoughts. Usopp starts panicking and babbling about his lies behind found out. Luffy’s laughing behind him, which causes Usopp to do something surprising, he stands his ground.

“Oi teme! Don’t laugh at me! I’m a man of pride! Because of my great pride, everyone calls me ‘Usopp the Proud’!

A breath passes through the room, Usopp and Luffy blink at each other. “What? What’s wrong?” Sanji asks.

“N-nothing. I just … feels like I’ve done this before.” Usopp blinked. “Yeah, me too.” Luffy agrees.

Sanji looks down at his hands and finds his cigarette has burned down to the filter. He snuffs it out in the bowl that was sitting on the table and stands. “Let’s just leave things at that. We need to eat first. No one can think straight on an empty stomach.” They climb up the mast and make their way out of the cabin.

They climb up onto the deck of a fairly damaged ship and find themselves docked at an island. A door to their left opens and a woman steps out. She has black shoulder length black hair and bangs that hang over her dark blue eyes. Dark skin standing out against a pale lavender button down. Another woman, younger with short fiery orange hair and wearing a blue knit short sleeve shirt, was creeping around the doorway behind her. “Everyone, we have an emergency. Navigator-san has -”

“Oh, who are they? Are they followers too, Captain Usopp?” Luffy asks his “Captain”.

“Have you all lost your memories, as well?” The older woman asks. She looks away from her Captain and sniper to see the cook standing in front of her.

There’s an aura around the blonde man that seems to be bright and fresh. As if tiny bits of moisture in the air suck in the morning sunlight, sparkle gently and glow.‘Oh dear. Here it comes.’

“I now understand how a foolhardy moth feels as it flies inside a lamp.” he says in a flitting voice. He raises his gaze up to meet hers. “He simply cannot stand being outside of something shining so brightly.” ‘That’s how I feel whenever you’re around.’ she thought with a mental roll of her eyes.

He saunters over to the two beauties, rose in hand. “Oh, pretty ladies! What are your names?” He offers the raven and red hairs lush roses from … wherever they came from. “If you’re free tonight, would you care to have dinner with me?”

Goddess-san, the cook decides to call the dark hair beauty, accepts her flower with a blush - stoic expression -, while Angel-chan, he decides to call the other, accepts hers with a giggle and beaming smile - grunt and a disgusted look. Somewhere behind him, Luffy is laughing about something, but he doesn’t really care. He leans into Angel-chan who wraps an arm around him and hugs him tightly. She’s saying something but he can’t really make out her words, he’s too lost in the melodic sound of her voice. ‘She really is an Angel!’

There’s a squeak, he turns to see a small brown figure wearing a pink hat. “I’m a reindeer!” it yells out when Luffy and Usopp discuss his possible species. Luffy begins chasing the thing and the whole ship goes chaotic.

He hears Goddess-san speak and her voice is just as heavenly, lower than Angels but equally beautiful. “Everyone, please listen to me. Let me start with our current location. We are …”

Everyone freezes and stares at the calm woman. “What did you just say?” asked Usopp, eyeing her from the stairs.

“I said, ‘We are on the Grand Line’. Did you even forget that?”

Sanji, taken by shock, slumps against a wall. ‘The … Grand Line? But how? This can’t be right. There’s no way I can be on the Grand Line. I was just in East Blue yesterday! How could you possibly sail all the way to the Grand Line in just one night?!”

“By the way, Miss.” he calmly asks the older woman. ‘How does she know all this?’ “I need to get back to my restaurant in East Blue. Do you know any way to get there?”

“I think you should reconsider.” she says turning to him. “Simply entering this sea is quite dangerous. Any attempt to find your way out alone would be suicidal.”

‘Ah, man. What the hell have I gotten myself into?’ He walks to the rail and stares out into the horizon. The ocean looks calm and, well, normal. ‘The Grand Line, huh. Shit, Owner* is gonna be so pissed at me.’

The warm morning sun, high pitch screaming. Cool ocean breeze, loud arguing. Seagulls cawing overhead, a loud crash and cries of pain.

‘Holy shit what the hell is going on out there!?’ The swordsman stretches from his place on a hardwood floor. ‘Floor? Why am I sitting? Did they move me to the dungeons? But I can feel the sun.’ He cracks open his eyes and is greeted by a bright blue sky. He’s sitting in a wooden bucket, a pole sticking out of the center. There’s a black flag tied to it, fluttering in the wind. ‘I’m on a pirate ship? Why am I here, and in the crow’s nest no less. What the hell is going on?!’

He hears a feminine voice floats up in the wind and peers down below. Five people stand on the deck; a woman appears to be discussing with the four others. “Anyway, counting the other member, we seven pirates have been sailing across this sea.” She turns her head up towards him and he ducks down, ‘Shit, she saw me!’

“How about coming down, Kenshin*-san?” she calls up to him.

‘How’d she know?’ he wonders, grasping at Wado’s hilt without looking. ‘Ah, fuck. No use in hiding now.’ He stands up and hops over the edge of the nest, landing on the deck below with a loud thud.

“You sure enjoy making noise early in the morning.” he says with an annoyance in his voice. “You interrupted my morning nap.”

A boy with an abnormally long nose - ‘Freak.’ - shoots a shaky finger at him, “W-w-who are you?! What’s your name?!”

He straightens and turns to the kid, “When you ask for someone’s name, it’s proper to give your own first.” ‘Tsk, now I sound like Koshiro-sensei*’

The longnose was just about to answer when someone behind him cuts him off, “I’m Luffy! Nice to meechya!” He turns to see another kid, one wearing a straw hat ‘Straw hat? Just like on the flag.’ - smiling at him gleefully.

“I’m Roronoa Zoro.” he answers. Another voice speaks up behind him. ‘What am I doing here? Playing musical voices?! Man, I hate standing in the middle of talk-too-much retards.’

“The Pirate Hunter?” a handsome blonde with a cigarette in his hand asks. Zoro scowls at this. “I never called myself ‘Pirate Hunter’. Things just turned out that way.” he answers gruffly. The smoker pops the cigarette in his lips and smoothly slides his hands into his pants’ pockets, “Last I heard, you were a bounty hunter.” Zoro tilted his head lazily, “I was only in that line of work so I could eat. It was never my goal to become one.”

A blue eye narrows at the green haired man. ‘To eat, he says.’ “But since you’re here, you must have been after this ship.”

“Not sure.” he replies honestly with a shrug, “I’ve no idea what I’m doing here. Are you guys famous pirates?”

The longnose twitches and points at him. Again. “Hey! You wanna fight?! I-if you’re ready, then let’s go! I have 8,000 followers to back me up!”

“Oh, that so?” With an evil grin Zoro pulls Wado from his belt and widens his stance. “Then I’ll be collecting quite the bounty today, won’t I?” Wado’s saya* is slowly pulled away, “I’ve been low on food money - ’ he doesn’t fail to notice the blonde man twitch slightly as he says this. ‘ - lately. If you’re gonna challenge me, then I’ll take your head.”

Longnose goes on the defense and throws his hands up, fingers splayed out wide. “No! N-no! That’s not what I meant!” He turns to the older woman with frightful eyes, “Oi, help me out here!”

The woman meets the swordsman’s graze. “Nagahana-kun* isn’t worth a single belly.” she says coolly. Behind her, Longnose cries out in distress, “Not even one?!”

Suddenly, a loud rumbling comes from inside the ship, and a orange haired girl on a thing* that looks like a cross between a bike and a boat rushes out an open door. She then speeds off, running Longnose over and disappears into the horizon. ‘Oh look, an island.’

“She took off … man, that looks like fun.” Straw hat says looking out after the red head. ‘I don’t know what’s going on, but there doesn’t seem to be any point sticking around here.’

Zoro pulls Wado and his two other swords - ‘Huh?! These aren’t mine!’ - from his haramaki*, and ties them to his head with his bandana. He hops over the rail and swims to shore. ‘Maybe there’s something on that island that can help clear things up.’ He looks back over his shoulder at the ship one last time before continuing on. ‘I can’t stand around all day playing guessing games. I have a promise to keep.’

Lush green surrounded a clearing in the woods. The songs of wild birds melding with the whispering of branches in the breeze. Sunlight dappled between branches, creating a tranquil glow through the air. A lone figure stood in the center of the vast beauty. It was pristine and fragrant and absolutely breath taking…

  “Where the fuck is the town?”

An island of bounty hunters, giants, dinosaurs, snow and sand countries, bottomless white seas of clouds, a pegasus, cities of gold, giant bean stalks, tako*-balloons, Marine strongholds, daaachshund*, foxes, and Davy Back Fights.

The dark haired woman, who introduced herself as Nico Robin, had explained to them some of the adventures they had over breakfast. According to Robin, she had joined the crew two weeks before - but had first met them a month ago - and didn’t know much about their travels prior to that. Sanji had been a pirate for at least a month. And to make matters worse, three of his crewmates were Akuma No Mi* users. Chopper, the ships doctor and a reindeer who ate the Hito Hito No Mi; Robin, the ship’s archeologist, who ate the Hana Hana No Mi; and Luffy, a man worth a hundred million belly, who ate the Gomu Gomu No Mi and he was only 17. This carefree, meat loving, bottomless-pit-for-a-stomach kid was a threat to the World Government. ‘How the fuck does shit like this happen?! That idiot?! Well, okay. Yes, he did love my cooking, so he’s not that bad. And yes, he had managed to get such beautiful ladies to join his crew, but still! How can he be such a doofus?!’

Sanji lights a cigarette and leaned against the sink, which was piled high with Luffy’s dirty dishes. ‘It’s a bit hard to swallow, but the arrangement and equipment of the kitchen are somewhat telling. Everything is oddly in order. And to my preferences, no less! Maybe this is my kitchen.’

Robin explains to them the night before and how they had arrived to the island. She stayed up all night reading while the others slept and Zoro had been on watch. “From the way he was bitching, it sounded like the Pirate Hunter fell asleep, too.” Sanji adds, putting out his cigarette. “Would you like another cup of coffee, Robin-san?” “Yes, please.” she replies with a gentle smile.

“In other words,” he continues, lighting up a kettle of water. “only the people who went to sleep lost their memories.”

“That seems to be a logical deduction, but we mustn’t jump to conclusions.”

“I’ve never heard of a case like this!” Chopper, the little reindeer-human, exclaims. “Of all the medical books I’ve read over the years, there has never been an incident such as this.”

“I’d like to ask you,” Robin’s dark eyes search the men’s earnestly. “What is the most recent thing you can remember?”

“I got back from gathering medical herbs with Doctorine. I thought I went to sleep in the castle… but when I woke up, I was here.”

“I was …  You’re ignoring me?!” Usopp huffs at her.

“I was sucked in by a giant whirlpool. When I woke up, I was here.” Luffy explains around a mouthful of potatoes.

“I finished work in the kitchen and went to sleep in my room, but when I woke up, I was here.”

“And you don’t remember anything after that?”

The kettle suddenly whistles, the water boiling and ready. The four boys in the room tense, eyes going wide with realization.

“That’s right! I heard a low-pitched horn playing somewhere!”

“Myah, a horm! I herd a horm, too!”

“Come to think of it …”

“T-there was this k-kid that appeared in front of me.”

“Wait a minute. You mean to say we didn’t lose our memories… that they were stolen by some shitty brat?!”

“I can’t be sure,” Robin voices out. “but it certainly sounds like that child is the key to all of this.”

“But,” Chopper adds with concern. “does that mean we’ll lose more memories if we fall asleep, again?”

This was getting bad. If they fell asleep again they would lose even more memories. Possibly even forget who they even were. Sanji lights another cigarette, trying to calm his shaken nerves and think of a way to get through the situation. That is until that carefree voice decided to speak again.

“Who cares if we have our memories? It’s too bad we can’t remember all our fun adventures but that doesn’t mean we can’t just start having new ones together!” Luffy laughs.

‘You dense mother fucker…”

“A-are you insane?!” Usopp yelled. “We might lose all of our memories! We’re talking about our lives and dreams being comple-”

“That won’t happen.” Luffy states firmly. “My dream will never disappear. Whether I forget my own name or not, I will never lose sight of my dream. I bet you guys are the same, too.”

‘Wow. Maybe this guy isn’t as he seems.’ Sanji wonders as he stares at the smoke in his hand. Usopp collapses in his sit and Robin chuckles daintily into her hand when Chopper let’s out a yell. “Waah?! My food is gone!!”

Luffy gets a faceful of foot when his laugh gives him away. “Don’t eat other people’s food!”

“Sumimasen*…”

‘I don’t know what to make of this guy. Taking him seriously would make ME look stupid.”

The rest of the day went by uneventfully, Sanji had made many snacks and drinks for his crew, he had come to accept that much. Their ship’s doctor, had tried making some sort of medicine to restore memory, each attempt either failed or spilled across the deck by an excited Luffy. Usopp had made stupid ass “My Name” tags. Those got chucked into the ocean immediately.

‘What the hell! I’m not an aho lovelyn.’ Sanji scowled as he scrubbed the last of the dishes from dinner. ‘Bastard trying to start shit with me.’

Robin, who turned out to be an archeologist, studied nearly her entire library looking for clues, anything about memory loss or the island. The beautiful scholar archaeologist? i already said that - she’s a scholar of ohara wasn’t able to find anything but that didn’t dampen Sanji’s day, he was glad enough to just spend so much time with the mysterious woman. ‘Ahh, if only Koukai-neechan* were here. Robin spoke so lovely of her. If both ladies were here, all I need to do next is find a way to get rid of the three dorks.’ The three dorks were out on the deck - Luffy up on the goat figurehead, claiming it to be his special seat - with Robin testing out Chopper’s latest drug. ‘It can’t be safe to try so many drugs in one day, can it?’

Sanji dried the last plate and stacked everything away in the cupboards. ‘Hopefully that green headed Pirate Hunter gets lost somewhere. We don’t need him back. I don’t care if he lost his memories, to threaten the whole ship during their very first meeting means he’s got a fucked up head. Maybe all that moss growing out of his skull affected his brain.’

That was one thing he didn’t expect to see when he first met the man. The green hair had been quite odd. He wasn’t surprised, however, to see the three katana at his hip, it is what he was most famous for. Another thing that struck the cook by surprise was his overall physique. He had expected the famous Roronoa Zoro to be big and burly. Maybe an older man riddled with scars and gnarly ropes of muscles bulging out of his skin, but he was completely the opposite. He was young, probably his own age. He wasn’t huge but still very muscular, his upper body strength clearly the source of his power. He was even a pretty decent looking guy; dressed normal, he looked clean, three gold earrings hung from his ear, a bit attractive if he were to be honest. But he’s not.

Sanji recalls a time while cooking for the lunch crowd that Carne burst through the door with  newspaper and a crazy smile on his face. “Guys, you’ll never believe this! The Pirate Hunter’s done it again!”

According to the article, Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro, had wandered into a tavern full of one of East Blue’s notorious pirate crews. He didn’t have money to pay the barman so he casually asked if anyone present had a bounty. Dumbshit nearly destroyed the bar! In the end he had flatten the whole crew, cashed in more than enough for pay for his tab and the damages, then went on his merry way like nothing happened.

‘Sure it was a cool story and yeah, I thought it was pretty badass at the time but now? Putting his hair aside, he looked completely normal, and yet he’s capable of all those things. He’s fucking insane! And to think that monster is my crewmate?? No, he can’t come back.’

“Achoo~!” Zoro sniffed. “Man, where the hell is that damn town. Maybe this is an uninhabited island.” ‘But I was so sure I saw a port back on that ship.’

He gazed out into the sunset from where he sat on a cliff. He had walked for hours trying to find the town he thought he saw. Maybe it was just a trick of the eye, maybe it wasn’t there at all. Or maybe, it had moved. Again. Just like they always do. He thought back to the ship. He had heard parts of the pirates’ conversation. They were on the Grand Line, and the others had lost their memories. He more than likely had lost his as well. It only made sense.

‘My memories, eh?’ He thought back to Koshiro. When Kuina died, Zoro was torn apart. He had lost his rival, his partner, his best friend. After her funeral he had asked her father to give him her katana.

“I’ll become stronger for her! Until my name reaches heaven itself, I’ll become the world’s greatest swordsman! I promised her!”

“Very well,” Koshiro held out Wado Ichimura to him. “I will entrust Kuina’s soul and dream to you.”

“I have never let those words die. I set out to sea to become the greatest swordsman. That last thing I remember was that Captain’s son denying him food again. He had arrived at an new island and wandered around the town. It held a Marine base so he had hoped to come across a bounty to collect. He was searching for a restaurant when he walked in on a rather unsettling situation. Some wolf ran wild through town and it decided it was a nice idea to attack a little girl armed with a broom. He only did what anyone would have done, he grabbed a stool and threw it at the beast, effectively killing it. Turned out that the mutt was some snot-nosed blonde bastard’s pet.

Said bastard turn out to be Captain Morgan’s tailcoat riding son. He threatened Zoro to agree to survive a sentence of one month of no food water or he would kill the little girl and her mother. He accepted his challenge, and they confiscated his swords then tied him to a post in the middle of the base’s courtyard. He would have woken up to his twentieth day of his sentence, but somehow he ended up in some pirate ship’s crow’s nest.

He couldn’t remember anything after that. Then there was the two katana. When had he gotten them? The sword with the red saya seemed to sing and reverberate. ‘A cursed sword? How did I get these? I seem unusually accustomed to wearing them. What’s going on?’

He feels a presence, someone is approaching him from the trees.

“Piiman, Ninjin … stop trying to tie Tamanegi to the flagpole with old shoelaces … you’re supposed to use candied pig intestines … here, lemme show you.”

“No … That’s my meat … you can’t have it! … Give it back you ugly croc … butto basu*!”

“Tanuki ja nai* … gimme that candy floss … kono-yaro*.”

Robin smiles down at her sleeping crewmates. She closed the book in her hands and moves over to the dining table where Cook-san is sleeping. As she drapes a blanket over his shoulders, Sanji awakens. “Oh, shit.” he moans, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Did I wake you, Cook-san? You can sleep a bit longer. If anything unusual happens I’ll wake you up.”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you, Robin-san. I’ll make some coffee to help you stay awake.”

“Thank you,” she says with a smile and moves to drape the blanket over Luffy, who’s sprawled out on the floor, instead. “I’d like some.”

Suddenly, a low-pitched horn is heard from outside. Robin and Sanji run out the galley to find a young boy with a strange doll in his hands standing atop Merry’s head.

“You’re awake, Neesan.” The boy says to Robin.

“Are you the one who’s stolen everyones memories?”

The boy chuckles darkly. “An impressive deduction, but it’s too late”

Behind her, the three sleeping boys stir and seem to be struggling. Using her abilities, three hands blossom out of the floor boards. “Wake up, everyone! Hurry!”

“My, what an interesting power you have.” the boy says with interest.

Usopp and Chopper sit up on the floor and blink sleepily. “Huh? What?” they say in chorus.

“YAAH! He’s here!” Usopp screams. “WAAAH!”

Luffy crawls up to his knees and adjusts his hat. “Nanda*? Asa meshi ka*?”

The boy scowls at Robin, “That wasn't very nice of you to wake everyone up, Neesan. Now I have no choice.” He holds up his doll, oddly shaped like a seahorse, and blows into its tale.

“The horn!” Sanji realizes. Robin cross her arms to stop the boy, but its too late. A sudden sensation flits through his body, he feels dizzy. Out of the corner of his eye, he see Robin fall to the ground.

“Robin!” He rushes to her side and helps her up.

“Aah!” Luffy rushes out the galley and yells at the boy. “What the hell are you doing?! You can't stand on that! That’s my special seat! Don’t touch it!” Luffy stretches his arm out and grabs onto the goat’s horns and shoots off toward him. The boy kicks Luffy’s hand loose and he lands into the figure head’s neck. He ends up flipping over and kicks the seahorse, knocking it out of the kid’s clutches.

A strange blue mist starts spilling out of the seahorse and engulfs Luffy. This buys the kid enough time to jump ship and escape. “What is that stuff?!” Usopp cries out. Luffy loses consciousness, falls off the figure head and lands on the deck.

“Oi,” Sanji says has approaches the others. “shouldn’t we help him?” “He isn’t moving” the archeologist states.The blue mist now entering through his nostrils. Chopper frantically calls for a doctor not realizing he is, in fact, the doctor on board.

After the last of the blue mist enters Luffy’s body, Luffy regains groggily sits up. He blinks for a few moments before throwing his arms above his head with a big shit eating grin.

“MY MEMORY’S BACK!”

Deep in the forest, a small bonfire burns bright. Not far behind, a low chuckle floats across the wind. The swordsman readies his weapon, but sees no movement. He relaxes and stares back into the dancing flames.

‘Shit.’

He looks up. The sky a thick black blanket littered pearl white stars. ‘Now what?’

Midnight. It’s cold. It’s dark. And it’s noisy as fuck. Luffy, the Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates was currently singing and dancing around with the little doctor, hashi* stuffed in their noses and lips.

“I’m so glad I got my memory back or we’d all be stuck in Usopp’s crew forever!” the CAPTAIN sings out. “Shihihi! Yeah, yeah! Kick higher, Chopper!”

“That rubber monkey got his memories back, yet he’s still acting the same.” Sanji mutters around a lit stick. ‘Calm the hell down…’

“Senchou-san never changes, no matter what.” Robin explains beside him. “Now we know your deduction was correct. Your memories were indeed stolen and we know who the thief is.”

Luffy abruptly stops his fun and yells. “Ah! Wait! We got to get Nami and Zoro back! Ikazou, minna*!” He’s already making a move for the railing when Robin interjects.

“We should wait until morning, Senchou-san. Landing on an unknown island and trying to find two people this late at night is a recipe for disaster. We should wait until dawn. I don’t think that boy will be back tonight. We did give him a bit of trouble.”

“I guess you have a point.” Luffy says thoughtfully. “Okay! We wait until morning! Ahahaha!”

“Wait a second.” Sanji halts the rubber-boy before he gets too excited. “I’m all up for getting Nami-san back, but can’t we just leave the muscle bastard here?”

Usopp shouts his agreements. “Why do we need to go after them? They wanted to leave, so let them leave. Besides, that guy scares me.” Beside Luffy, Chopper timidly voices his opinion on the matter. “I…”

“What are you guys talking about?!” Luffy questions. “Isn’t it obvious? They are nakama! We each have our own role on this crew. Usopp’s the sniper, Sanji’s the cook, Chopper’s the doctor, Robin’s the archeologist, Nami’s the navigator, and Zoro’s the swordsman. We are Straw Hat Pirates! We won’t leave anyone behind.”

‘Man,’ Sanji rolls an unlit cigarette between his fingers. ‘He really is the Captain.’

“All we have to do is beat up that kid with the mantle and we’ll get our memories back. Tomorrow’s a big day! Let’s get some sleep!

Author Notes and Glossary

Thank you so much for reading! I’m supeeer~ not happy with how this went. I wanted this up yesterday but I was having difficulty finishing on time. I’m so sorry if this chapter sucked. Next chapter coming out soon!

Ara - an expression that means lots of things like ‘huh’, ‘whoa’. Ara ara can mean ‘oh me oh my’.

Meshi - food.

Owner - Zeff, owner and head chef of Baratie.

Kenshin - swordsman. After learning, this I wondered if in Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X ‘Himura Kenshin’ was his real name.

Koshiro-sensei - Zoro’s kendo instructor and mentor. Kuina’s father. Sensei means teacher.

Saya - a katana’s scabbard or sheath.

Nagahana-kun - Long (naga), Nose (hana), kun - a suffix/honorific you add at the end of a name. Usually for males, can also be used from woman of a lower status such as from a boss to an employee or a teacher to a student. At least that’s how I understood it, I might be wrong though.

Thing - Nami’s waver that Pagaya fixed in Skypiea.

Haramaki - a belly warmer. That green band around Zoro’s waist. It’s a thing old men wear. Feel free to make fun of him now that you know ^_^

Daaachshund - long dachshund. yeah.

Akuma No Mi - Devil’s Fruit. Hito - human, Hana - flower, Gomu - rubber

Tako - octopus.

Gomu-ningen - ‘rubber’ and ‘human’ respectively.

Sumimasen - excuse me/pardon/I’m sorry

Koukai - short for koukai-shi which means navigator/navigation officer.

Nee-san/chan - short for anee-sama/-san. Means sister, but can be used to refer to an unnamed girl, whether older or not. A much older woman is referred to as ba-san or baa-san, Aunt/Granny respectively. For men, nii and ji/jii are used in the same sense.

Butto basu - … kick your ass!

Tanuki ja nai - “I’m not a tanuki (raccoon dog)”. Ja nai is used to negate what is said.

Kono yaro - lit. ‘that’ and ‘bastard’. Translates as ‘asshole’

Nanda - what? / what’s that?

Asa meshi ka? - Luffy’s way of asking “Breakfast?” Morning = asa, meshi = food, ka = ? / signals that the sentence is a question.

Hashi - chopsticks.

Ikazo - Let’s go! or ‘follow’ depending on the context

Minna - guys, everyone.

This will be a rated M fic, but the smut (as I severely enjoy calling it) will not make any appearance until much later on, so it's up as rated T for now. Sorry about that for all those who are SUPEEER eager to see some ZoSan smexy time, I find it fair to give you all a heads up.

Language, mild violence, self-irritation/aggravation (is that a thing?), animal violence (NOT Chopper … well I sure hope not!), and other funky stuff are sure to follow. POV-wise, it'll roughly be 63% Zoro, 37% Sanji. I'll try to balance it out as well as I can.

I would also like to apologize for the Prologue. It was 50% not-so-important story and 50% me babbling, but that won't happen again … come chapter 2 :D

ONWARD!

Chapter 1

“… 853 …

… 854 …

… 855 …”

Zoro was on the Going Merry's upper deck doing a series of kata* with his two thousand pound weights. It was the day after the Davy Back Fight. Luffy had beaten Foxy, saved Robin and Chopper, and won 497 new crewmates, whom Luffy had all dismissed. Stilts-Ossan* and Sherry were safe as well, and amazingly, his grandson had shown up riding a giant mooole*. It was a relief to know he would be back with the family he lost ten years before. Nami's Log Pose* had set and they sailed off to the next island.

The sun was high in the sky when the cook had called the crew in for lunch. Luffy, Chopper and Usopp had immediately charged in, resulting with Sanji kicking all three out until the girls were served. Zoro ignored his growling stomach, claiming that he wasn't worthy to have any food or drink until his body gave out from fatigue.

"… 878 … 879 … 880 …"

'So fucking weak. We lost Robin, and Chopper twice*! We nearly lost the Groggy Ring match, too! If only that damn curly cook pulled his head out of his has and gotten out of my way, I would have beaten those monkeys and that wotan* easily.'

"… 894 … 895 … 896 …"

There was a loud crash below. Judging by the screams of laughter and the cook's protests, Usopp was telling yet another tale of his “past adventures”. As usual, things were getting out of hand. He more than likely grabbed some cutlery and linens to make a costume, got Chopper overly excited, made Luffy the villain and tried to save a family of something-or-other ridiculous, again. Each story ended with food used as projectiles, broken plates and Chopper choking on something, Usopp would try to pry said something out from his gob, an inconspicuous hand would sprout out of nowhere, tickling the little reindeer and causing him to spew half chewed food all over the dining table, resulting in Usopp flying into a wall by a roundhouse kick to the face compliments of the chef. Why? Because the cook never had it in him to hurt the little doctor, and Usopp was always close by.

"… 902 … 903 … 904 …"

He felt himself smirk as he thought about it. He always thought Sanji’s kicks were pretty impressive. Those kicks had come pretty handy when they found themselves in a pinch. He could kick down walls no matter what they were made of, wood, steel, stone. The fact that he was able to bend and move his body like that meant he must have gone through some pretty intense training. Zoro had tried to copy the cook’s spinning kick while doing handstand pushups on time when he was alone on deck training. He had fallen flat on his face, though. The cook proved to be a very decent partner to have next to during battle. Too bad he was such a pain in the ass. Yeah, so they beat those burger monsters in ten seconds. It would have been done sooner if he wasn’t such a fucker!

"… 917 … 918 … 919 …"

A gentle breeze flew by, sending a delicious scent into his nostrils. He could smell the spices, something meaty and hearty that had been stewing all day. A sweetness lingered in the mix. There was a hint of sour filtered its way in, ‘What could that be?’. The anticipation to have a plate was enough to make him drool.

"… 925 … 926 … 927 …"

'What?!' he pauses to wipe the side of his mouth on his shoulder. 'Nope! Not hungry! And why would I drool over that bastard's cooking anyway? It's not that great.'

*gyrururuu*

'Tsk! Da me*, stomach!' Zoro shook his head roughly, as if trying to shake away the craving.

"… 949 … 950 … 951 …"

'That damn suteki mayuge*. What the fuck is his deal? Why couldn't he have just let me handle it? We could have won that match in two seconds, but nooo, prissy bastard didn't want to be the ballman. Well too bad!'

"… 972 … 973 … 974 …"

'Chikushou*! Every fucking day he has to start shit with me! What the hell did I ever do to him?' Zoro's movements started to become faster, more aggressive. Tight cords of muscle bulging through his bronze skin.

"… 1015 … 1021 … 1227 …"

'I never did shit to that ero cook*! He was the one that started this! He attacked me first!'

That was only half true, if Zoro has to be honest, which he won't! Sanji was the one that first instigated Zoro. It was back in Cocoyashi when the chef had first joined the crew. Nami had betrayed them. She said it herself, she was just using them for money, that Usopp was indeed dead and that she was the one who killed him. Zoro didn't believe her, but it wasn't impossible. Nami could have killed the newly named sniper but he didn't buy her act in the slightest. And he was proven correct when Usopp had finally appeared, successfully landing himself in the crossfire of sword hilt and leathered foot. That was when it happened, the very first fight. Damn idiot misunderstood what he said about Nami and lift a leg to kick him. Seriously though, why would he make a comment about Nami's BREASTS of all things?!

But as much as that was true, it's not like Zoro did his share to prevent the fights. He instigated just as many as the cook. He always found how easy it was to irritate the cook amusing, like it wasn't even a challenge. He found a bit of joy in getting a rise out of the perverted idiot, not that he would ever admit it.

Sweat pouring down his back, between in shoulder blades in rivulets, his strikes faster, harder, counting louder.  

"…1063!1064!1065!…"

'This is all his fault! Every single journey we go on, he has to start shit! Why? Why?! In Little Garden, Alabasta, G-8, everywhere we go! This shit is getting old, this needs to fucking stop!'

"… 1133 … 1146 … 1159 …"

'I can already see it, we'd be fighting the Marines or really strong pirates, he'd get in my face because I apparently said or did something that disrespected the witch's honor or whatever. We'd both get distracted not see the attack coming and one of us would get seriously injured. Or worse, one of the others. We really could lose a nakama this time, and we wouldn't be able to get them back. Luffy would never forgive us if that ever happened.' Zoro shuddered, 'best not to think about it.'

"… 1213 … 1214 … 121ARRGGHH*!" throwing his weights down, he grabs his towel that's draped over the railing. 'Screw this, I can't concentrate.' He wipes the sweat off of his face, neck and shoulders and makes his way to the galley.

… Grind pepper corn, coriander, cumin, cloves, nutmeg, cardamom pods, and cinnamon stick with a grinding wheel*; set aside … saute onions … melt ghee butter … add flour … add Garam Masala* … potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, meat … chili, grated apples … boil over for one hour … diced apples …

Sanji was in his haven, cooking lunch for his crew. A King Ground* cigarette hanging from his lips. While the melodic sound of pots steaming and bubbling filled the kitchen air, he threw large handfuls of quartered tomatoes into a bowl filled with mixed greens and sliced red onions. The Mugiwara chef then proceeded to pull out various bottles and a few lemons from the pantry. He deftly whisked a mixture or vinegars, oils, herbs and juices in a small bowl and tossed it into the salad.

"And with that - lunch is ready!" Sanji exclaims with a please smile. He turned plate dishes and set the table.

"My lovely ladies! Lunch is served!" he called out the galley door, twirling on his toes with an elegant swan's grace. "Oi! You shit heads can come eat, too." he added with gruff tone, and a sour face.

Said shit heads, minus the marimo, charged through the galley door, jumping into their seats and shoveled meat and potatoes into their eager mouths. But they didn't get far, fore the resident chef had shot a leg out in their path, flinging them over the railing and down onto the deck before they could even make it past the threshold.

"Not before the ladies, you ingrates!" Sanji yelled down to them.

"S-Sanji…?" quietly questioned Chopper, big brown eyes watering with hurt.

'Oh Chopper, not the eyes…' the cook thought with regret.

"Awh, c'mon Sanji!" whined Luffy. "We're hungry, and Nami and Robin walk so slow!"

"Yeah!" cried out Usopp and Chopper unanimously, the latter already over the waterworks.

"Please come in, Nami-san!”, ignoring the three stooges who were climbing up the stairs. “Robin-chan! You'll absolutely just love the vinaigrette I made for your salad to go with today's curry*!" he chirped, holding the door open for the ship's goddesses with a deep bow.

"Thank you, Sanji-kun." Nami answered as she walked in. No one noticed the rather large distance between her and the cook. Strange for such a small doorway.

"I'm sure it will be exquisite, Cook-san." was Robin's reply.

Lunch was going… well … normal. Food was flung around, all coming from a single source, said source was also consuming food from other plates, little reindeer laughing at brave warriors telling extravagant lies -er- war stories. A certain green bug was nowhere to be seen. As enjoyable at times as that was, this was not one of those times. ‘What the hell is that bastard doing? How dare he skip meals again! Shithead always causing me troubles.’ But the green bug was forgotten as quickly as he was thought of. Elegant beauties were seated near the chaos - surprisingly not in the line of fire - glossy hair billowing as a gentle ocean breeze made its way into an open porthole. Delicate hands brought the finest of porcelain and silvers to their soft lips. Butterflies danced around their voluptuous figures, flower petals cascading down in the air around them. Blue Jays flew past, singing a song beautiful enough to emphasize the angels’ immaculacy* tenfold.

A pearl white hand was extended out towards the chef. Large brown eyes sparkled, plump pink lips turned up at the corners. Those lips parted and the most beautiful sound escaped them.

“PUWAHAHAHAH!!” Nami guffawed out, smacking her hand against the table while Robin laughed daintily behind her hand. They were listening to Usopp’s tale of a great wizard, who had gathered eight men - two brave warriors, four big-footed travelers, an enigmatic long eared elf, and a burly dwarf - for an adventure to protect an ancient civilization of giant birds from a rogue, razor backed, fire breathing dragon.

With a tablecloth wrapped around his neck and folded napkins on his ears, Usopp hopped up onto the bench with a bow he made from a pencil and rubber band raised above his head. “Now, you infernal dragon!” he shouted with a finger pointed at Luffy, who was listening to Usopp’s story with stars in his eyes and a whole leg of ham in his mouth. “I, Captain Legolasopp of the Tolkien's Legendarium, shall slay thee! You’ve burnt down the Hundred Acre Woodlands, released a pack of wolves in the village, stolen the King’s crown, and now you eat the farmer’s wife?! Ye hath gone too far!” He raised his bow, “I give you one last warning! Spit her out, NOW!”

“Meber!” laughed Luffy, his cry muffled by folds of pork. “A’m ja King naw! Ja King’sh free ta do ash ‘e pleezus!” Chopper was sitting next to the newly crowned king, who was dressed in a paper crown and table cloth cape, clapping his hooves excitedly. “Do it, Legolasopp! Do it!”

“Your time has come, beast!” He readied his bow, pulled the line taut, shouting a final cry, “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” and fired.

A carrot stick soared across the table and pierced itself half an inch deep into the ham leg. “And that -” The archer announced with flourish, “- is how I, Brave Warrior Usopp, Former Leader of the Fellowship, then known as Captain Legolasopp, slayed the Jabberwocky and saved the Robins of Christoph!”

“Kakoi!” cried Luffy.

“Sugoi!” was Chopper’s intended cheer, but it was cut short when a whole potato got caught in his throat, causing him to choke and gasp for air.

“Ah, shimatta! Chopper! Hang in there!” Usopp jumped out the table and put his hand in the doctor’s mouth. A flutter of petals had gone unnoticed and Chopper’s tiny body seized and he coughed up a mess of potato and saliva onto the table.

“Oou~ … I’m so sorry. Thank you Usopp!” he bawled out, tears rolling down his face and into the sniper’s overalls and he hugged him tightly.

“He should be thanking you,” Nami whispered to the raven-hair seated beside her. “I don’t mind,” Robin replied. “It’s more enjoyable this way. I don’t need the credit.”

“Oi, teme*! Look at what you did!” Sanji pivoted on his left foot and kicked Usopp square in the face, sending him threw the pantry door. “You broke three plates! You’re going to have to replace them, kuso yaro*!

“I’msorryi’msorryi’msorry! I’ll buy five at the next town!” Usopp bargained, hoping the cook would forget about the incident, and maybe even get him out of wash duty.

“Deal. You got dishes tonight.” ‘Damn, no such luck.’

Usopp and Chopper were on their hands and knees (hooves for Chopper), picking up broken ceramic and bits of food when the door opened. A sweaty, sun-kissed Zoro stepped into the galley and made his way to the table. Trails of perspiration rolled through the dips and curves of his abs, his chest standing out even more against the slightly red glow of his skin. Tiny wisps of steam rolled off his muscles as the heat of his flesh mixed in with the coolness of the the kitchen air. Strange, since the stoves have been brewing all day. Sanji, who had been dishing new plates of food was the first to react to Zoro’s rather - ahem - bothering entrance.

“Gah! What the hell, Marimo! You stink!” he gagged and pinched his nose, batting at the air as if to disperse the odor.

“Shut up, cook! I’m hungry so I’m going to eat.” Zoro snarled back. “And I don’t stink!”

“Zoro,” he heard Nami say to his left. “You always stink. Just eat.” And to that, he grunted mocking with a smile at the cook as he pulled down another plate from the cupboards.

When Sanji came back with an arm full of plates, he deliberately brought one less than the people present.

“Oi! What the fuck, cook!” snapped Zoro.

“You want food, go bathe.” Sanji reprimanded. “No negotiating!”

Zoro groaned and got up from his seat at the table. To emphasize his displeasure, his stomach grumbled loudly. All head’s turned to Sanji, who was getting more drinks from the fridge, curious of what he would do. Sanji never let anyone go hungry. Ever. They saw his shoulders and back tense, but he shrugged it off and continued his business inside the fridge.

“Hmp.” With an evil grin, Zoro made his way next to the cook and pulled out a large jug of water. He then made his way out the door, moved right - away from the stairs - and poured the freezing liquid over his head. He heard Usopp gasp, Luffy cheer, and Chopper and Robin giggle, as he scrubbed the sweat from his hair and shoulders.

‘Fuck, this is cold! What was I thinking?!’ He ran a hand over his chest, ‘Meh, ‘snot so bad. Feels kinda nice, actually. And I know it’s just going to piss that pansy off. Ha! Not feed me will you.’

He shook himself off and did his best to dry off with his still sweat-wet towel. A fresh coating of shiny covered his skin, the coolness actually giving him a glistening sheen. Sparkling droplets fell from his earrings, landing on his dark shoulder. Like a silver silk thread connecting gold to gold. He sat back down after placing the now empty pitcher on the stove. “Food, cook.” he demanded.

Sanji walked around the that table and gave him his food. A perfectly shaped bed of rice, with a heaping mound of meat, potatoes and carrots, surrounded by copious amounts for thick broth. Like a volcano had erupted nearby a winter island, the lava burning its way through the shore. The plate was joined with a garden salad - ‘Ah, that’s what that sour smell was.’ - and a side of heel-in-yoUR-FACE!!

“What the hell, you shit?! You’re dripping water everywhere!” He turns and shoots a finger at Usopp. “Usopp! You’re off wash duty!” - “Whoo!” cheered Usopp - “And you!”, turning back to the marimo, who was climbing back into his seat from where he landed on his ass. “You get to scrub every single pot onboard tonight.”

‘That’s what you get, you shitty bastard. Skipping lunch, wasting water, dripping all over my floor, looking like something a seaking threw up.’ Not that he was looking at the shitty swordsman’s body.

“Awwhhh!” groaned Zoro - because no! That was not a whine! - as he shovels curry into his mouth for his eager belly. It’s thick and spicy with a hint of something sweet. The meat juicy and tender and … creamy? ‘How the hell do you make meat creamy*?!’ He pops a spoonful of rice, sauce and something that looks like a potato into his mouth. He hears a crunch and his taste buds are attacked by the sweetness of apples. “Mmmm-mp! No, it’s not good!’. He looks at Sanji sidelong, who’s busy lighting another coffin nail. “Hmp. Oi cook, this tastes funny.” Well, was trying to, anyway.

“Shut up!” Sanji screeches, his cigarette falling to his feet. Because yes, that’s exactly what it sounded like. A dying banshee’s screech.

*Thud*Thud*

Black, heavy boots land on the wooden floor of the Merry’s crow's nest. The ocean was calm, small isles of sand and coral scatter around the island. They had arrived a few hours earlier, at sundown. Usopp was on evening watch when he spotted shore. Nami had said that because of the shallow reef, they wouldn’t be able to navigate in the dark. They dropped anchor and called it a night.

Time past. There was no sign of ship or beast for miles. Zoro rolls his stiff shoulders, ‘Damn ero-cook. That pot was a bitch to clean. He purposely let that curry sauce dry there.’ Maybe he ought to train these new found muscles? ‘Bastard, making my life more difficult than it needs to be.’ He glares out at the ocean. ‘I should train tomorrow.’ His yawns loudly, mouth stretched wide, and blinks at the horizon. ‘Nothing’s coming. I’ll take a quick nap.’ The swordsman crouches down into the small, yet rather comfortable space and closes his eyes.

‘Damn shit-cook.’

In the distance, a low hum stretches through the air, stirring none as it filters into their dreams.

Author Notes and Glossary

Was that too OOC? I think I made Zoro out as a little whiny bitch, but it was all in his head so it's not too OOC, right? He complains a lot right? Shit, I hope so. Now I feel bad. Sorry Zo-bro.

Kata - fixed patterns that teach kendoka* the basic elements of swordsmanship (refer to wiki)

Kendoka - a person who practices kendo (don't ask me what kendo is!)

Stilts-Ossan - Tonjit, the old man from Long Ring Long Land Arc

Mooole - a long mole native to Long Ring Long Land

Log Pose - compass like device used for recording magnetic fields on the Grand Line

Wotan - a half fishman, half giant being. Big Pan of the Foxy Pirates is the only known wotan.

Gyruru - stomach grumbling sound. [Refer to chapter 44, Gin's stomach.]

Da me - along the lines of "NO!". Kind of like 'quit it', 'stop', 'don't'.

Suteki Mayuge - suteki (pretty), mayuge (eyebrow). It was translated as magical eyebrow in the manga.

Chikushou - damn it

Ero cook - erotic cook / pervert cook.

121ARGH - issen ni-hyaku jū-argh is not a number Zoro. (I count in nihongo. I never say water either. It's always mizu, and it's always irritating others :P)

Grinding wheel - web search ‘herb grinding wheel’. This is the same grinder Chopper uses.

Garam Masala - a blend of ground spices common in North Indian and other South Asian cuisines.

King Ground - Sanji’s first brand of cigarettes

Curry - Refer to Episode 133, Tajio’s curry recipe. I learned the recipe ^_^

Immaculacy - it’s a word, i looked it up.

Teme - a rude/disrespectful was to say ‘you’

Kuso yaro - shitty bastard. Yaro literally means ‘farm hand’

Creamy meat - I’m not sure if you can, but the recipe calls for marinating the beef in yogurt, so…

Lost Chopper Twice:

Nearly a year ago, made a calendar of events for the canon timeline. I made it to get a good grasp on the length of their journey through the first half of the Grand Line, 'Paradise'. I included some fillers, including the anime/extended version of the Davy Back Fight. In this version of DBF, they lost Chopper to the Foxy Pirates two times. First after the Donut Race, they got him back after the Run-Roller Around. Second loss after Dodge Touch Dharma-san. Ironically (is it ironic? dono), though the island they just arrived at was in the anime (filler arc), I did not include it in my timeline. Basically, in my opinion, this fic is exactly that, a fic. They never went to that island. Let me know if you would like to see the calendar and I will add a link on my profile.

Also, if you didn’t get any of the media references I made, I’m sorry, there is no help for you.

Thank you so much for reading! Please review! Find any errors? Typos? OOCness? A better title? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Compliments? Interpretive Dances? Just let me know! I'll do my best to answer them all.

Until next time, ciao!

*BON*

*BOUN*

The cannonballs' blasts rang out through the air, black smoke filled the midday sky, spreading darkness across the land. A massive rolling roar pounded into his ears. The ground beneath his feet rumbled and shook, reverberating in his chest. Bright lights flash and swirl about, rainbow bubbles blinding his vision. He rubbed the heel of his palm against his eyes. Sight adjusting, the pounding in his chest easing, he opened his eyes.

Projected upon the black sky were two great images, the bounty posters of the two pirate captains. The crowd around him cheered out, chanting their leader's title. "Oyabin! Oyabin!", they called. Nearly 500 pirates surrounded him; Nami to right, Robin and Chopper somewhere near the top of the bleachers. Usopp had taken it upon himself to be Luffy's second. Over the loud roar of excitement, he heard the unmistakable sound of the world's most annoying bird,

"Nami-swan! Nami-swan! Where are you?"

The Katorisenkoku* was currently quacking out his mating call, searching for the self-proclaimed love of his life, the Numimajo*. As the Katorisenkoku approached, Zoro casually straighten a leg out, successfully tripping the blonde sack of crap. Sanji fell face first into the ground, getting popcorn and cola in his tresses.

"Watch where you're going, kuso* cook.", Zoro lazily stated.

"Eh! You shitty bug! You did that on purpose!", Sanji wailed, reaching out and grabbing a fist full of Zoro's hair.

"You got a problem, curly bastard? Maybe you should watch where your aho lovelyn* ass is going!" Zoro grabbed the back of Sanji's shirt, trying to tug the blonde's weight off of his shoulders. They each grabbed each others' faces, pulling hair and poking eyes.

"ARG!", Sanji's shirt sleeve got caught in one of Zoro's earring, causing the marimo* to cry out in pain. Zoro pinched at Sanji's eyebrow, plucking out a few hairs.

"Itai*! You shit! Leggo of my eyebrow!"

"URUSAI!*" Two small fists, two grunts of pain, two head lumps, one groaning marimo, one giggling love cook. "When will you two ever quit?", huffed Nami.

"Ah, forgive me, Nami-swan!", Sanji chirped, heart eye pulsing with adoration. "Please excuse this poor example of a swordsman and his bad manners. Here! I brought you some cola and popcorn!" Sanji stood and shoved Zoro to the side, settling himself next to the redheaded navigator.

A crackle broke through the air,

"Today's match up! A battle between two captains!" was heard from the den den mushis* scattered around the arena. The crowd cheered loudly, calling out praises and rants to their captain. "Entering first! The man who declines no challenges! With a record of 920 wins and 0 losses! The man who wins at every game! Our Oyabin; Silver Fox Foxy!" An explosion of screams and cheers erupted from the stands as Foxy and three … backup dancers? … step out onto the figurehead.

"I wonder if Luffy will be alright.", a concerned Nami points out. "That Split Head guy has that freaky beam, for sure he's going to cheat. Plus, they're on his ship, who knows what crazy weapons and traps he has there."

"Don't worry about Luffy," Zoro says. "He can hold his own just fine. Besides… He's got Usopp", he adds with a snicker.

"I don't think that helps any, Marimo. Now shut up, he's coming out."

"And entering from the right corner, hailing from East Blue, the captain of the weaker pirate crew! -"

"Oi", argues Nami, a tick forming above her brow.

"- A man worth one hundred million belly, known as 'Mugiwara*', the challenger, Monkey D. Luffy!"

Luffy walked out onto the Silver Foxy's figurehead, gloved fists raised above his head, belting out a battle cry. The Mugiwara Pirates (plus Robin and Chopper of the Foxy Pirates) cannot believe their eyes. There, in front of them, stood Luffy; red shorts, shirtless, black elbow sleeves, a strange blue flaming dokuro* painted on his chest, and upon his head an … afro? Usopp is standing behind him, posing like the cocky bastard he is, dressed in his own getup with Luffy's treasured strawhat safely perched on his own.

"Ooh! Nice hair, Luffy!" Sanji exclaims in awe, arms thrown skyward. "What the hell is that?" questions Zoro. Nami stares at her captain, wondering if she made the biggest mistake of her life joining this crazy crew. 'What the hell is Luffy doing? What's the afro for? Is he really that stupid? Mattaku.*' Chopper's eyes sparkle brightly, amazed by how cool Luffy looks. Robin simply giggles in agreement.

The weird mouth announcer, Sludge Worm*? Was that his name?, then explains the rules of the fight; apparently to win the match, one fighter must throw the other off of the ship. Luffy throws a few practice punches as Usopp gives him words of strength, wisdom, and encouragement.

"Listen here, Luffy." Usopp grunts, dropping his tone to lower vocal register. His charisma bleeding through his words. "You're not the boy you once were, Luffy. That hair style awakens the beast in the heart of every man. You may ask 'Does the afro make the champion? Or does the champion make the afro?'. That is a question yet to be understood by modern science. Luffy, When you don that afro, your punches gain power."

Luffy chuckles, voice deep and mature. "Let's get to it, Ossan.*"

"Oh, yeah!" the call in chorus.

"The Davy Back Fight's fateful final round, Combat, is about to begin! ..."

The crowd roars. The two captains stare each other down, one trying to psyche the other out. Luffy, fists raised, glares fiercely, yet confidently, at the Split Head bastard. Foxy, on the other hand, just stands across from him, posture relaxed, with a cheeky grin on his creepy face.

"... But first a word from our sponsors!"

Author Notes and Glossary (Hell yeah! Maybe I should add an appendix as well XD)

And there you have it! The prologue! So, as you may have noticed, this is pretty short. It doesn't really have much to do with the main plot, but it's all connected to this day. I didn't want to add too much detail into this scene and dragging it out too long because, really, the story doesn't revolve around this. I hope that makes sense. Let me know if it doesn't. I'll try and have the next chapter up soon!

Bon - the sound of cannon fire (refer to manga).

Oyabin - boss

Katorisenkoku - a pun on Katorisenkou (mosquito coil), Tori (bird), Koku (cook). He quacked because the animal he resembles most is a duck. [Noted in SBS 20. Robin, Franky, and Brook were noted in SBS 50]

Numimajo - a pun on Nami, Umi (sea), Majo (witch) [Took me 20 mins to make this up -.- mattaku]

Kuso - shit

Aho - stupid, idiot, dumbass

Itai - ouch

Marimo - moss ball. One of Japan's natural treasures.

Urusai - literally 'noisy', can be used as 'shut up', 'annoying', 'irritating', etc.

Den Den Mushi - also known as 'Snail Phone' or 'Transponder Snail'. Used for transmitting audio and visual information.

Dokuro - means 'skull', meant as 'Jolly Roger' or 'Skull and Crossbones'. (Also a very cute PS game. I recommend it to all those with a PSVita)

Mattaku - 'honestly', 'jeez', 'seriously', or 'good grief' (love you Charlie)

Sludge Worm - the game official's name is Itomimizu, which translates as 'Tubifex Worm'. It is a species of tubificid segmented worm. They are also known as 'sludge worms' or sewage worms'. They looks like pink seaweed.

Ossan - 'old man'/'uncle'. Not to be confused with Jijii (old man [Sanji to Zeff]), Jiichan (gramps [Luffy to Garp]), Oyaji (pops/dad [sons to Whitebeard])

Thank you so much for reading! Please review! Find any errors? Typos? OOCness? A better title? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Compliments? Interpretive Dances? Just let me know! I'll do my best to answer them all.

Also, if you noticed, my tense goes back and forth from past to present. Like, Sanji says, Zoro exclaimed, etc, etc. If this bothers you or sounds funny, please let me know and I will fix it. I had a lot of fun editing this. My beta and I did nothing but fight and yell at each other the whole way through. We are kind of the embodiment of Zoro and Sanji, respectively.