Sukai Drabble
for @goodmyeoning. Happy birthday my darling. (Sorry this is late. In my defense it’s still the 6th in the US ^^)
954w rated G
It’s not usually like this. Jongin’s generally very good at controlling his emotions - at pushing away the ugly feelings that make his chest tighten and his gut twist. But when he’s exhausted, body and mind tired from such a demanding schedule, jealousy finds its way in through the cracks.
He knows he has no real reason to feel this way, but he can’t help the gnawing feeling in his chest as he waits for Junmyeon to return. He’s gone to Sehun's hotel room to watch a few episodes of Naruto with the younger boy. Junmyeon had asked Jongin if he wanted to come along, but Jongin had declined. "You don't have to wait up." He'd said as he disappeared into the hallway. Jongin knows it’s childish and silly. He knows that Junmyeon loves him, but the time his boyfriend has been spending with Sehun lately - especially when they're touring; when they could actually have a few romantic hours to themselves in their hotel room - has gotten under Jongin’s skin. He hugs his pillow to his chest, wishing it was Junmyeon he was holding instead.
It’s hours before Junmyeon creeps into the hotel room, cursing quietly as he kicks the leg of the chair by the door. Jongin blinks his eyes open, turning to face his boyfriend and smiling at him sleepily. For a moment he forgets that he’s mad, and he reaches out for Junmyeon, only to retract his hand once he remembers where Junmyeon’s been.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Junmeyon whispers, lifting the covers and sliding into bed beside Jongin.
“K.” Jongin turns to face the wall. He knows it’s stupid, but he really wants Junmyeon to notice how he’s feeling. He wants Junmyeon to realize there’s something wrong.
“I missed you,” is Junmyeon’s reply, whispered against the back of his neck as he wraps his arms around Jongin’s middle, hugging him tight. Jongin stiffens, but he doesn’t move away. He may be upset, but he’s been craving this all night and Junmyeon's warmth against his back is at least a little bit welcome. Junmyeon presses a kiss behind Jongin’s ear and drags his fingers over Jongin’s chest. “I’m sorry I’m back so late.”
Jongin huffs out a breath and mumbles a “yeah okay” before wriggling out of Junmyeon’s grasp. He can feel Junmyeon shifting behind him and the warm weight of Junmyeon’s hand on his shoulder.
“Hey.” Junmyeon’s voice is soft and laced with concern and Jongin feels a sharp pang of guilt as he turns to look at Junmyeon, worry and confusion apparent on his face. “What’s wrong?”
It’s funny, Jongin thinks. This is the exact situation he’d been hoping for, but now that he’s faced with it, he feels rather silly and he can’t really bring himself to say any of it out loud. “It’s nothing,” he says, covering Junmyeon’s slender hand with his own and trying his best to beam at his boyfriend, but Junmyeon knows him too well.
“It’s not nothing,” he says, draping his arm over Jongin’s stomach and kissing his forehead. “Tell me.”
Jongin looks down, not able to meet Junmyeon’s gaze. “We never...we could have had a few hours to ourselves. Just you and me. And you spent them with Sehun. You're always with Sehun." He can feel heat creeping into his cheeks and he’s thankful for the dim lighting.
"Jongin-" Junmyeon whisper, hugging Jongin to his chest and sliding a hand into the younger boy's hair. "You know Sehun is just-"
"It's not that. I trust you, I just-" Jongin stares at Junmyeon's collarbone, feeling embarrassed and still a little bit hurt. "We don't get a lot of time, just the two of us, you know?" He runs his fingers over the soft cotton of Junmyeon's t-shirt. "I really wanted to spend...I wanted us to have a romantic night together."
"Jongin," Junmyeon sighs, then kisses the top of Jongin's head. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to have to." Jongin sniffles.
"I'm so sorry Jongin." Junmyeon's hand slides from Jongin's hair to cup his chin. "Look at me?" Jongin does, and he's met with shining, earnest eyes. "I love you, Jongin." He traces the curve of Jongin's jaw with his thumb, and Jongin leans into his soothing touch. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I never want to hurt you."
"I know." Jongin presses a soft kiss to Junmyeon's jaw. "I should have told you. I shouldn't expect you to read my mind." He looks down again. "But I just...wanted you to want to spend time with me." "Oh, Jongin," he hugs Jongin's head to his chest, pressing another kiss to his hair. "I did. I do. That's why I asked you to come along, but then you seemed so tired so I-" Jongin looks up at him, and there's pain in his eyes and Jongin hates that it's his words that caused it. "I'm sorry, Jongin." Jongin lifts up onto his elbow, pressing his palm to Junmyeon's cheek. "Don't be sorry. You didn't- I'm the one that should be sorry, making such a big deal out of nothing."
Junmyeon reaches up, covering Jongin's hand with his own. "It's not nothing, Jongin, it's important. I'm glad you said something." He closes his fingers around Jongin's, turning to kiss Jongin's palm, his lips so soft and warm. Jongin's eyes flutter closed. "I love you with all of my heart, Jongin."
"Me too." Jongin feels a pleasant warmth spreading through his chest.
"I'll make this up to you, I promise." Junmyeon's fingers are soft as they graze Jongin's face, tilting his head up so he can cover Jongin's mouth with his own. Jongin smiles against his lips, humming contentedly as Junmyeon's hand slides into Jongin's hair.
