#boxopi

It might be my paranoia but something about SP sending everyone to Octocon (which I already was super wary of) almost like it was the only option, Ampersand being on indefinite hiatus (and I'm having trouble finding clear info on whether they're anti-endo), so it seemed At That Point that the ONLY option was Octocon...

And then shutting the whole thing down in "two weeks"?

Not even SP is gonna shut down that fast.

Again it might just be my paranoia and god do I hope it is my paranoia BC I sound like a conspiracy theorist, but am I the only one who thinks something is going on and there may have been pressure on one side of things or something?

I really sound crazy but my mind can only read this as like, when big companies turn things into a monopoly, they do something under the table, and then shut down to avoid being caught.

Octocon's privacy page did not instill in me any sense of respect for my privacy. And idk. Idk if I believe some of the stuff. Some I do, some I'm not sure. But reading their literal terms and conditions left a horrid taste in my mouth and a sense of dread that told me to stay away from it.

And now they do this.

Vent poetry under the cut. This is about fake people who use you to feel better, calling it friendship, and once you're no longer of use to them, they tie you down and tell you to promise you'll wait for them so they'll have you ready when they need to use you again.

wtf is F’s problem?

-🩰💤 (new anon)

No clue. But they're a fully grown adult that honestly just downright refuses to take accountability for their trespasses, putting on a childish façade to avoid responsibility. And that's both concerning and disgusting.

We have insane trauma, over a decade of shit to sift through and take your pick of the horrors. AND YET we treat people with respect, we take accountability when something is pointed out to us as wrong. We apologize and work to better ourselves about it.

They don't. And yet they expect us to bend over backwards for them for our "trespasses" (establishing hard boundaries, telling them no, GENTLY pointing out something they're doing is racist, etc). Everyone is evil and has to take accountability and apologise or be demonised if they don't, except for F. Because even when F recognises the bad thing they did, they hide behind the "IT'S MY TRAUMA, YOU WOULDN'T GET IT! AND YOU SHOULD BE NICE TO ME EVEN WHEN I AM SHITTY TO YOU!" Buddy, if I told you all of what I've lived and survived you'd think that by all logic I should be dead from it. I'm not gonna judge your trauma for being "smaller" because that's not how this shit works, everyone's trauma is really fucking bad and should be respected. But if you're gonna pretend that you're the only person in the world who can say "my parents being toxic at each other" like it's some mysterious eldritch experience that I, nor anyone else, would ever know about, then you're really playing the "nobody exists but me" game.

I'm gonna show my Latino ass and point out that this last part (italics) tends to happen a lot with US people (not everyone, obviously), because there's a huge entitlement/protagonistic problem from the US towards other countries. And I don't just mean white US people, I mean anyone born and raised there. And it happens a whole lot when it comes to marginalised groups (such as non-US: poc communities, queer communities, mental health communities, disabled communities, etc). I'm not gonna get into it so much because the specific type of gringo* I'm talking about is gonna come get my ass. But yeah, a lot of the things F said were very "I have never bothered to listen to anyone outside the US that wasn't catering to a US audience like the token diversity character in a show that's meant to be 'exotic' and is from like, big city México".

yeah- F sounds fucking horrible…. I’m glad yall eventually blocked em, but I do get the struggles of not wanting to or not being able to block someone sooner

Oh, did I mention this fucker was compiling any selfies we posted in a small friend server "because [they] struggle with faces"???

At one point it came up that we have a very strong discomfort of pictures, or of people having control over how our pictures look. We only take pictures of ourselves if we are in full control of them.

They showed us either a bunch of folders for each person or one folder full of different people they had latched onto, I don't fucking remember, but a lot of the people who had left bc of them being inappropriate were there. They were literally sharing selfies and pictures of other people to us like "this is X" and shit and like, DON'T DO THAT??? IT'S CREEPY ALREADY YOU SAVE PEOPLE'S PICTURES LIKE A STALKER, BUT SENDING THEM TO OTHER COMPLETE STRANGERS??? THEY'RE NOT EVEN PUBLIC PICTURES.

I really fucking hope they never sent OUR pictures to anybody. My husband begged them to delete them, he had to reach the point of having a panic attack for them to actually delete the pictures. Like, if someone tells you "no, don't do that", it should be enough. But this person can't take "no" for an answer. In fact, they won't even fucking ask at all and then come and shoot you with what they did right in the face. Re: the whole calling me "dad" or flirting with my husband and making him take care of their regressed host.

I do not want to see any stranger's PRIVATELY SENT selfies. I'm not a fucking creep. If the picture is public, you could send me the link to it. If it's taken from a PRIVATE SERVER/PLATFORM/ETC or sent to you PRIVATELY, I would fucking hope it stays in there and not in your phone album, and even less in some random person's DMs. Also, don't fucking dox your irl "friends" oh my god. They would send me pictures of people they knew at charity events that were basically telling me where they live, what they do, etc, just because "you remind me of this person". WELL, THEN JUST SAY I REMIND YOU OF A PERSON WHO DOES CHARITY, DON'T SEND ME THEIR FULL ADDRESS.

F has one of those "system-tracking servers" where they dump stuff for their alters that they relate to or are inspired by or like, tracks fronts, etc.

We do cosplay and post it somewhere.

Suddenly there's a new channel for the factive of me (after they "confessed") and THE FIRST THING THEY DO after the intro from pk, was to start sending the cosplay as "inspo". YOU'RE USING OUR FACE AS A "FACECLAIM". FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.

I told the host very angrily to delete that shit in that instant or they're getting blocked. I didn't block them outright because I wanted to see them delete the stuff. I was very emphatic on them NEVER using our face again for anything related to that alter, or any alter at all for that matter, and to delete any pictures they had saved of us because that's fucking rude and disgusting.

So I will answer here.

I feel you're entitled to acknowledge what that split means. I also feel that that person is being a massive hypocrite after the things they made you go through.

TW in the second half of the ask and response for SA, pregnancy, forced parenthood/babytrapping, I guess? Non-consensual "use" of alters, rape similitudes.

I’m so sorry that yall went through that- like omfg?? And the Latino shit?? Is just??? No???

I don’t hardly trust anyone anymore after the shit ex friend put us through, so I can’t imagine what it’s been like for yall

the entitlement of some people is just.. disgusting. I cannot stand the whole forcibly making alters of ppl you wanna be around bc you were turned down and still want the opportunity to fuck with them.. ESPECIALLY if you then tell said person “hey so I actually *made* you and there’s nothing you can do because they’re *my* alter and I can do whatever I want because they aren’t *technically* you”

then don’t treat them exactly like me??? Tf?? It’s bad enough you split them to get around my boundaries- don’t also tell me you did it- that’s just fucking creepy and disturbing-

-anon from before

"Husband" here. I just found out about these asks and quite frankly, I'm not sure how to feel bc it's still a sore weird uncomfortable feeling for me.

I'm very protective of my spouse and I struggle with feeling worth anything myself after moving away from the abusive household. So this person, F, was already really messing with me by treating me like a wounded animal all the time, even taking the tone one would use when picking up a small animal and coping at it when we were on vc a few times.

Like my partner said, we have serious trauma related reasons to be very unnerved and even fearful of what happened. And a lot of the time we'll get hit with the "ohhh fuck, I hope that was a lie. I really fucking hope that was a lie."

omg so we’ve also been through something similar with the whole familial thing being pushed onto us by another system-

they made factives of us as well and then made a child alters WITH the factives-

Why tf is that a thing?? That + the whole littlespace and forcing ppl to take care of them thing is just. So bizarre to me-

I’m so sorry that yall went through that

Tumblr deleted the whole ramble so.

CW/TW : abusive, manipulative behaviour. Guilt-tripping. Non-consensual projection of stuff onto others, dead parent, ableism (because of judging someone on how they responded to a traumatic thing ONCE), uhhhh... crossing of boundaries to a gross level, implied SA, paranoia, feelings of being sexually harassed, in some way, and racism (or more possibly xenophobia) and use of cultural Latino aspects in a fetishised way.

Long story short:

Met this system, let's call them F, at a server. Got the wrong idea about us? Took advantage of our niceties. Called me "dad" even though we told them to never do that, confessed to still doing it behind our backs, forced a split of a factive of me specifically (idk how that would even work, but I'm not gonna say shit on that aspect of things) and proceeded to call him "dad" while still calling me the same thing, proceeded to be racist (white acting Latino because of having "Latino alters"), and proceeded to flirt with my in-sys husband. Pretended they felt guilty about it and when they saw we weren't buying it, the factive supposedly stopped wanting to talk to anyone in their system and went dormant "angrily". Then had a whole crash-out because we said Husband and I had "fought" (minor situation but big feelings, nothing bad) and they didn't like when their parents fought so they felt entitled to call me, in summary, an abusive piece of shit.

Like, I beg your fucking pardon????

To go on the longer side:

Host of the system DMs us while regressed and acts little and distressed to make my Husband feel distressed too until he goes and fixes the problem they had with some other discord user in the server (it was a ridiculous thing, really, and none of our business).

We get to talking. It's a bit of a routine thing by now. They insert themselves into our daily lives. We get used to checking in on them bc some shit is happening on their end too and we try to check in with people now and then.

My Husband has Big Traumatic Thing Response and that never goes well when he's alone. I was not able to front at the moment and he messaged the latest person on the chat list to ask for a distraction or something, hell if I remember. It's F. Next day, I take care of things, thank F for the help and that it'll be fine, that I got things under control.

For reference, my Husband and I are two halves, we basically are made to help the other through shit. So we're made "with all the tools" to make things run smoothly when one of us suffers with a thing. I'm calm and collected and firm when Big Traumatic Thing Response happens, and while Husband is not able to function, I take care of him and of things. It's fine, he gets better, we move on. If something happens to me, he does the same.

Unfortunately, this set a vision of us from F where Husband was this sort of "poor little bird" personality and I was the "ultimate competent guy, man of the house, perfect family head". Because they saw me take care of my distressed husband once.

This led to them "accidentally" calling me "dad" at random times, or even kiddy pronunciations of the word (like "dada" [ugh, it makes me cringe to even remember it, I'm really uncomfortable with all these terms]) when regressed. We had told them not to talk to us when regressed. They still did, and my Husband, who struggles to say no, would forgive them and "watch over them" for a while.

Our whole system explained to them that the way they were pushing the role of "dad" onto me, or anyone in our system for that matter, was uncomfortable and rude and weird. And to not do it. Cue the crocodile tears where they talked about their shitty dead father and how we, but more specifically, I was like, "a perfect replacement".

If you know our main blog, no you don't. We're not out and don't want to be out on that blog. Respect it please.

Basics:

DID system (professionally diagnosed for over 20 years. Therapy chronology is currently iffy)

Adult.

Disabled, other disorders we don't owe you, mixed Latino-Arab and intersex (all of these influence our system).

Queer, generally speaking.

This is a sideblog. We cannot follow back, send asks, or give likes from it. Keep in mind when messaging

We will post about Hypersexuality and OCD-related paraphilic disorders, as it's a prevalent thing in our trauma experience and we're trying to come to terms with it. (We will tag #hypersexuality in any case and it will be mostly internal sentiments about it, nothing towards anyone outside of our system). In no way, shape or form do we endorse abuse towards anybody.

Main tags

#boxen original posts

#boxopi opinions our system has or shares

#box general descriptors of our system as a whole or of specific

#boxenpics drawings either from us or gifted to us

#headsup overall disclaimers

#ques asks

#hypersexuality (for blocking purposes)

DNI:

We do not wish to participate in syscourse. However, we will state we do not feel comfortable interacting with endogenic systems.

Hatred towards minorities and marginalised communities will not be tolerated.

We are adults, we'd prefer if minors would not interact with our posts or blog.