#botnik studios

Here is my reading of Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash.

Edit: on tumblr as @objectdreams

Have you ever heard of Botnik Studios? They’re a website who make hilarious “predictive texts” based on a databank, and they also have an option to upload your own source text and then let the machine do its best to imitate its style. I fed it the script of everyone’s favorite haunted house ride, and… well.

The spirits with your tambourine host a little matter: when hinges creak in doorless chambers to socialize you into the boundless realm of the supernatural,  please answer the safety bar. 

Grim grinning chills come later to have you into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world: horntoads please you until you return. Madame Leota can establish only ghosts ; it's time to join trouble. Grim grinning tree will accommodate you to fill our jamboree.  We would raise it until a carriage bar of hitchhiking behind would please you. 

Kindly please your cadaverous vibrations and lizards will follow you prematurely! Goblins and furies from somewhere beyond the halls will carry your eyes… 

The tombstones quake where this warning approaches: shhh. The pond is deathly.  

Announcing your 2018 COACHELLA LINEUP, generated by a neural network trained on thousands of band names