Spontaneous orgasms don't sound that bad, unless you're ex-partner gets off right before you get laid.

Well, there is a medical condition where people keep orgasming all day and it's horrible. People think yeah nice for the first minute, but then think about it. Can't really be around children, people are gonna think you're perv cause they don't know it's not voluntary.

I have three first names. >.>

Are you trustworthy? Not another Lee Harvey Oswald or James Earl Ray, whose father was James Gerald Ray which is another three first name name.

I wouldn’t describe my penis as being small, bald, or ugly, but I’m also not going to send you a dick pic for validation either!

Well, they're small compared to legs, arms, heads, torsos! They haven't got much use except giving mind blowing orgasms or handing out disappointment, depending on the skill level of the user.

They don't do anything fun, they just hang there, or grow at times. It would be lot more useful if they were like a tail. You could hang off branches by it, and pick up food, that sort of stuff. God wasn't really on his game when he created those.