#borhap!queen

The following days for Queen were filled by preparations for the show in Hyde Park. As much as John Reid was taking care of everything, Roger, John, Freddie and Brian made a point of being present to find out how everything was being organized. Once again, Brian brought me to see the stage assembly and all the sound equipment. There were at least fifty people working, running back and forth, resolving any setbacks here and there. Brian took me by the hand to a certain distance from the almost ready structure of the stage, and we stood right in front of it.

The size of that thing made my stomach go tumbling. Something as big as that, to be used by only four people, four people of my family, whom I loved very much. Queen was growing and the crowd still frightened me. But I decided not to let this frighten me, they would be the center of attention, not me. More and more people recognized their talent and this in itself was what made me happy.

"It's going to be a big event, isn't it?" I said to my husband aloud.

"Yeah, Branson didn't measure up," Brian sighed, "they're going to fill the park on Saturday, that's what I expect, so it's all worth it."

"Bri, I ..." I hesitated, still impressed with all the work to organize the show "I never asked you this, but ... seeing a stage of this size, doesn't intimidate you a bit?"

"Oh yeah, for sure" he laughed, a little embarrassed "but after the tours I got used to it. Do you know what helps a little? It's just that no one is looking directly at me, and even if they look, there's no way I'm going to notice it because of the distance the audience is from the stage, besides, we're four. And ... Freddie always draws attention to himself."

"That's true" I said, remembering how the singer was a little more excited than usual in recent days over the show "he's trilling, but you?"

"A little nervous, really" Brian confessed "but until that happens upstairs, when I start playing with the guys, we kind of have fun and help forget the fear of the stage, we connect with the audience and we end up changing the same energy. They end up paying more attention to the music itself than to each of us. It's incredible! What is it?"

I loved watching Brian as he spoke excitedly about something he loved, and I was there in that kind of situation again, staring at him with shining eyes.

"Nothing, it's that ..." I lowered my eyes, but I got the courage to say it "When you talk like that, it always makes me fall in love with you even more."

"I don't know what I did, but thank you" Brian smiled and gave me a quick kiss, which was allowed in his current work environment.

"I hate to interrupt the two lovebirds, but we need to rehearse Bri" John came to call the band's guitarist "did you see Roger? He missed a while ago."

"Oh, I have no idea where he got in" Brian said, a little worried "I'll see if I find him, John, and we'll meet later."

"Okay, I'll wait for you" John nodded and went to the stage.

"Look Bri, I think I have an idea where he is" I remembered the motive of embarassment that our friend had last week "go to meet Freddie and John, I'll find Rog."

"Okay, thank you" He kissed my cheek as he said goodbye.

I went to the Mr. Branson's trailer, a kind of mobile office to take care of the details of the show very close to where it would happen, and of course his faithful squire Dominique was accompanying him and helping him in everything. I looked around the trailer, but there were no signs of Roger around. I knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer.

"Chrissie!" Dominique smiled at me after opening the door, looking slightly relieved "what can I do for you?"

"Actually, I don't think I'm going to need any help." I looked away at a roguish way looking Roger inside the trailer and stared at him, angry "I found exactly what I was looking for."

"Come on, Chrissie, you didn't come here to scold, did you?" he shrugged, pretending to be innocent.

"I came to do you a favor, the boys are looking for you to rehearse, now!" I put my hands on my waist, placing authority in my voice.

"Okay, you don't have to say again" he muttered, and before he followed me, he gave Dominique a puppy look.

"Duty calls, Mr. Taylor" she replied, sounding irritated "You have to work, and so do I, ah, and one more thing, if you feel thirsty again you don't have to come to me just to drink some water, there's water wit the stage assistants, okay?"

He nodded to her, unable to say anything new, and finally left Dominique alone.

"But what is this water story?" I asked as we walked side by side.

"Oh, I was thirsty and I came to ask her where the water was" He shrugged.

"Seriously?" I looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world "and what else did you invent just to see her? Because I know that's exactly what you've been doing all day, I've seen you after her earlier."

"Oh Chrissie, I was just having some doubts about how everything will work, that's all ..." he thought I was misleading him with that naughty smile of his.

"Look, listen to me, if you really like her, you have to let the poor girl breathe, you're obsessed with her, if you didn't notice" I said, annoyed by his behavior.

"You know my bet? I'm running late to get it done, one time she'll agree to go out on a date with me " Roger explained, but it only made me angrier.

"And you already asked her out?" I crossed my arms.

"No ..." I ended up finding his fault "but I'm working on it."

I just put a hand on my forehead and shook my head, trying to cope with his stupid insistence. I stood in a corner of the stage to see the rehearsal.

Roger joined the boys, who received him with grunts and grimaces. So they ignored the delay and began rehearsing. They touched the entire Sheer Heart Attack, and Roger scowled here and there in the process. Before moving on to the next song, the drummer asked for a pause.

"What is it now, Rog?" Freddie asked him impatiently.

"No, it's just that ..." Roger grimaced and tried to move his foot "it looks like someone glued chewing gum on my pedal!"

"You're kidding ..." Brian sounded incredulous.

"No, man, that's serious." Roger lifted his foot hard and really had a gum glued to his sneakers"I'm going to complain to Branson, how absurd, it's clear someone put this here on purpose ..."

Without much thought he tried to take the chewing gum with his hand, and suddenly, a firecracker exploded near the battery. Roger jumped and screamed as sharply as when he sang, we all got scared, we looked around to see who had been the author of the prank, perhaps the same person who had glued the chewing gum.

An instant later, Dominique appeared and I soon realized that she was holding on to keep from laughing.

"I was standing nearby and I heard something popping up," she explained to the band. "Has anything serious happened?"

Roger rose angrily and went to her full of demanding.

"First, someone stuck chewing gum on my pedal, and then they popped a firecracker near me, I'd love to find out who it was and have a nice chat with him, Ms. Beyrand" He was speaking with his hands on his waist, ignoring the charming way he had used to speak to her so far.

"Well, you're talking to her Mr. Taylor" she allowed herself to laugh "it was my way of making it clear that your pursuit with me was already over the edge."

I saw the confused face that the drummer did while processing what Dominique had told her, she had just confessed that she had made those pranks with him. Instead of yelling at her, or playing the charming, he started to laugh. Even Dominique was confused by his reaction.

"You had the courage to do this to me? I have to congratulate you!" Roger laughed a little more. "Darling, you rock! And look, I called you darling with all respect, just to make it clear. And I apologize for being a sticky tick today. Can we start over?"

 He ended up offering her a hand, which she ended up shaking.

"Apologies accepted Mr. Taylor" Dom replied, and I realized that she was a bit impressed that he had laugh of her pranks.

"You can call me Roger" the drummer offered.

"And you can call me Dominique, out of work" she smiled.

"You mean I'll see you out of work?" Roger risked.

"Who knows ..." Dominique let it out. "Now come back to the rehearsal, I've already messed you up too much."

Mary nods and smiles happily. “I remember, yeah. You seemed so cool because you were standing backstage.” She says and both girls laugh. 

“I wanted to be out there in the crowd, though... Oh, here they come!” She cheers and turns to the stage once seeing movement on it. The band have come on stage, Brian and Roger first, then Freddie and Deaky come onto the stage as well. Deaky searches for Y/N with his eyes and waves once he sees her, winking. Y/N laughs and waves back. Freddie sees their exchange and blows a kiss at Y/N before giving the same greeting to Mary. She smiles wider and waves at Freddie as well. 

Girls behind her and Mary probably thought the gestures from the bassist and lead singer were meant for them, and Y/N's and Mary's ears almost rip off from the loudness of their squeals. They smile at each other from sympathy, and then turn their eyes back to the stage. Freddie gives the audience a big welcome and everyone cheers back to him.

“So, lovies, tonight's a very special night.” Freddie says into his microphone. “And not just because you're all here. I won't tell you the reason if you listen to this one song, though.” He tells the audience with a smirk. They all cheer, including Y/N and Mary, who try to be the loudest among all their fans. “Do we have a deal?” 

The fans scream loudly and throw their arms in the air. Freddie laughs, as does Brian. “I said—do we have a deal?” Mercury repeats. Their fans scream louder, and Y/N holds her ears closed so she wouldn't lose hearing. “Alright, alright. Rog, we'll do it together, yeah?” Freddie looks at Roger once he turns around and Roger nods.

It takes Y/N's breath away. Her hands fold beneath her chin and her eyes spark. What the hell are they up to? What's going to happen?

Brian and John adjust their instruments on their shoulders and under their arms, and Freddie glances at each of them for confirmation before looking back at Roger. They exchange looks while Roger starts drumming softly and Brian and John start to play their guitars. There's a tear in Y/N's eye for some reason, but she keeps watching. 

Freddie steps closer to edge of the stage and finds Y/N again. He points at her while looking back at Roger, and she furrows her eyebrows. Y/N has no time to think when Freddie starts to sing. 

“I... was born to love you,” he sings softly and his voice grows quieter, and Y/N wonders why, “every single day of...”

“My life.” Roger finishes, singing into the microphone. The present tear in Y/N's eye falls down onto her cheek. His voice blends in with Freddie's and the lead singer harmonises with the drummer. Roger finally looks at Y/N and she thinks that her heart has already stopped. “I was born... to t-take care of you,” he sings, and it sounds more like a regular words than singing. His stutter is caused by Y/N, and that a light is suddenly shining down on her. She doesn't notice it because she's so taken by how Roger's singing and how his eyes look tonight, even though they're very far from her own, “every single day of my life.”

Brian cuts in with a riff of his guitar, playing louder, and steps closer to Freddie as he always does. Y/N doesn't take her eyes off Roger and wipes her fallen tears. The whole audience cheers and girls are trying to take a hold of Y/N, but she doesn't feel anything, even Mary hugging Y/N close to her. 

“I was born to love you,” Roger continues singing while he also plays his drums and keeps his eyes on Y/N through out the whole time, as well. She's crying now, fully crying, ugly crying, in front of hundreds of Queen fans, “with every single beat of my heart. I was born to take care of you, Y/N, every single day of my life!” 

When he calls her name, she smiles widely, her crying face enlightened by the sunny smile. Roger can't fight off the smile on his face. He's so glad that she smiles. He's glad that she cries, as bad as it sounds, but at least he's triggered some sort of emotion and reaction in her. Y/N finally sees him, and she sees that he's ever so sorry for what happened, what he did. 

“You are the one for me.” Roger sings. “I am the man for you.” He says and chuckles. Y/N breaks into a smile, as well. “You were made for me, you're my ecstasy...” Roger drums a little harder, and his eyes disconnect from Y/N's for only a few seconds, but when he reaches for the mic, he looks at her again. “If I was given every opportunity, I'd kill for your love. And you know that.” Roger reassures, and Y/N nods, and wipes the tears again. 

He truly is sorry. She sees that, and takes it into account. He didn't mean it, and it wasn't an affair of long-term. It was just a girl, and he was lonely, but of course that's no excuse. But Y/N sees and understands that he didn't mean it, and he still loves her. He doesn't want to break up. He only wants her, and the girl of the night was a mistake, a big, horrible mistake. 

Y/N doesn't hear what Roger sings next, and she doesn't hear that he stops singing when she starts running towards the entrance of the backstage door. The guards check her to see if she's allowed inside, and let her in. Y/N runs through the back room and reaches the stage entrance. 

Roger searches for Y/N in the crowd, wondering where she'd run off. Has she run away from him? Gave up on him? Will she not be back ever again? There's a light tap on his arm and, anxious, he immediately jolts and turns around on his drum stool. And there she is. Y/N.

He sighs loudly, almost whining, at seeing her and he drops his own drumsticks. They echo against the floor and echo through the whole venue. There's no other sound in the building, only soft whispering between the audience. Everyone's watching the reunited pair. 

Roger's hands reach out to Y/N's face and she lets him hold her teary cheeks while she's still sobbing. Y/N blinks a couple of times to get the tears out, but she can't—they keep on coming. She's also smiling, as is Roger. He's so happy to touch her again, feel her between his fingers, and have the ability and chance to do it all. 

There's pure admiration in his eyes, and love, and he'd love to look at her with nothing else. “Baby...” he trails off in a whisper, his thumb caressing the top of her cheek. Y/N holds onto his wrists and shakes her head. She knows what Roger wants to say, that he wants to apologise again, but he doesn't have to.

“It'll... It will take time, Rog, but...” She starts to speak, her emotions catching onto her words. She looks down, avoiding Roger's eyes for a moment, “but I forgive you.”

Roger nods at her words and closes his eyes, letting tears fall from his eyes now. At least she does forgive him, at least she's giving him another chance. He looks back up at her and smiles softly.

“I still love you.” Y/N says and grips on Roger's wrists tighter. Roger's taken by surprise, and he can't fake it. His mouth opens and closes as he's trying to find the right words to say back to her. 

Roger brings her face closer to his own and presses his forehead against Y/N's. He's panting and tears are streaming down both their faces. The two are also smiling and soon laughing, as well. Roger leans in closer, and carefully moves his lips close to hers. He looks at her for affirmation and Y/N nods, shamefully eager to be that close to him again. Their lips finally touch together and they melt against each other as honey melts into tea. 

The whole audience cheers at their kiss, and Y/N starts to giggle from the attention and silly situation. Brian and John clap for him while Freddie starts to sing the song again. The boys are too much into a celebrating mood to play their guitars, so Freddie's quite alone. As he sings, their fans clap along to the beat. Y/N and Roger watch each other and exchange many kisses while smiling and crying. 

“I love you, too. So much.” Roger says when they pull apart, holding her small face between his hands. Y/N nods and sobs, but happily now. Tears fall and smiles stretch, and they're bound to step out from behind Roger's drums to give the fans what they long for. The perfect pair together again.

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Brian and John are chatting between themselves while Freddie's talking to Mary. Roger's smoking and Y/N is standing further away from him than she usually does. She's not particularly against smoking, because she smokes as well from time to time, she only hates the thought of cigarette smoke in her face. Today she hates it more than any other day.

Once the thoughts, doubts and questions get too loud in her mind, she shakes her head and sighs. Y/N has decided to eventually ask Roger about what she heard on the plane. She has to find out if it's true or not, for the sake of her own sanity.

Y/N walks up to Roger and clears her throat, bringing his attention to her. He takes the cigarette out of his lips' capture and looks at Y/N with squinted and weary eyes. He was whining moments before about his sunglasses being forgotten in the plane, and so he has to bear with the clouded sun, just as Y/N. “Want my jacket, don't you?” Roger asks her and Y/N scoffs at his question. She shakes her head.

“No.” Y/N replies. Roger nods, and watches her, awaiting for what she wants to say or ask him. The worst assumptions appear in his mind, and he starts to grow nervous. What if she knows? What if— “I wanted to know where you were at the night of the party.” She says finally, and looks at Roger fearfully and with much carefulness. His breath gets caught up in his throat, and he fights back a cough. That would give it all away... “I mean, I never saw you leave, and then I noticed you were gone.” Y/N pauses, looking down at how her foot draws half circles on the pavement. “But I figured you went out for a smoke. Then I forgot about it—thanks to the alcohol—and after a while, I got sleepy and went with Deaks to his room.” She admits and looks up at Roger. Y/N takes a deep breath. “But where were you? Who were you with?”

Roger gulps and tears unwillingly gather in his eyes. The cigarette almost falls from his hand as he thinks the words she knows. He breathes in slowly, his breath shaking, and he wants to look away from Y/N. But Roger can't. And they both know that his eyes have already betrayed him in a way. Y/N waits for him to answer. She also wants to tear her eyes from his, but she's captured by her own search for answers in Roger's blue orbs.

“I—I, I went to my hotel room...” Roger says quietly. Y/N nods, the hand on her upper arm already digging tighter into it. There will be marks. She waits for Roger to say more, to say anything. How she wants to hear lies from him, pretending to be the biggest truth, but she can't. Y/N needs to know the truth, even if it tears them both apart. Roger's still silent, but perhaps Y/N's already gotten her needed answers from the tears falling past his eyelids.

“And? Were you alone?” She asks, fearing the reply more than anything she has ever feared in her life. Her voice breaks at the last word, and she hates herself for it. Y/N has given away her feelings to the man she's supposed to love, the man who was, after all, unfaithful to her. 

The pair hold a strong gaze between each other, tears gathering in both their eyes. Roger's mind is bound to explode from all the internal torture, and how he wants to lie... He wants to lie, but not to her. Roger also doesn't want her to know the truth, but she's asked, and there's no going back. The conversation can't be ended here anymore, it's way too late for that. Roger doesn't want to hurt her. But he already has.

Slowly, Roger shakes his head and looks slightly away. His answer crushes Y/N completely, and she sobs into her hand. So it's true. The girls weren't pulling a joke. Oh, how Y/N wishes that this all is a horrible joke or a prank. 

She reaches her hand up to her mouth, covering her lips so people around them couldn't hear her crying. The last thing she needs right now is a pap or a fan, or any press person seeing her in distress and putting it all over the papers. 

Roger immediately looks back at her, and wants to lunge at her, crush her with his loving arms, not his hurtful words. Hug her so tight she'd forget this conversation. But he doesn't, he holds himself back, and regains his posture, taking a drag of cigarette. 

It hurts him to see her cry, and know that he's the reason for it. She will never forgive him. He sees that. Roger knows it. Y/N cries into her hand, and turns her left side to Roger. She doesn't even want Deaky seeing her cry. He's got other things to worry about, other than his best friend's heart break. She knows it's wrong to think that way, but she can't help it. 

“How? I don't understand...” Y/N says softly, taking all the courage in herself to look at Roger once more. She barely sees through her tears that he's crying as well. She cares, but doesn't want to show it. Y/N watches Roger for a while as he's trying to say something, but every option seems wrong and distasteful for the current situation. He's struggling. 

Suddenly, Y/N unfolds her arms and stretches them out at her sides and inhales deeply, looking up. She sounds as if she's caught a cold, but it's only her nose being stuffed from the crying. Y/N wipes her tears and then massages the skin on her face with her small fingers, sighing deeply. She looks over her shoulder out into the airport's territory and sighs again, quietly and slower this time. 

Y/N walks back a few steps to get her handbag and suitcase, then returns to her place in front of Roger. It takes Brian's and John's attention, and they turn to watch Y/N and Roger, wondering where she's going and if she's leaving. 

Y/N gazes into Roger's hurt and regretful eyes with now anger in her own eyes. “We're over.” She says, wanting to add his name to the sentence, but fears she may break down and cry if she does. “I thought I was the most important person to you, but...” Y/N trails off, “guess I was wrong. Perhaps, now that you're single, you can find a girl who'll fit your standards perfectly.” She shrugs.

She masks her hurt and heartbreak with mean words, it's what she thinks is best for her. Y/N gets a stupid tear out of her eye while Roger watches her with his own eyes full of true tears, true hurt and pure regret. He should never have done what he did. Never. How could he even think of it? 

Y/N storms past Roger then, leaving him with his crying and cigarette smoke. John and Brian start to walk after her, and Brian even stops to look at Roger, turning the drummer's face towards himself to find out what just happened. He sees that Roger's crying, and gets even more confused. Brian lets go of his mate, and follows Deaky, who cannot for the life of him catch up to Y/N. She's too fast, and on her way to find another taxi spot or to get on the public airport shuttle. 

“Y/N!” Both Brian and Deaky call after her, but she doesn't stop walking. She's on the way to start running, judging by her walking speed. Brian stops running after her, while Deaky still tries to catch up, and he walks back to Roger.

“What the hell's going on?” He asks the drummer. Roger's eyes shoot to Brian momentarily, and panic and stress are visible in them. Brian furrows his eyebrows and puts his hands on his hips, panting from the slight running he just had to do. “Roger?” 

He's still silent. Roger doesn't speak a word to any of his band mates even when Freddie comes up to him, or when they've gotten into a cab that will take them home. All except Deaky are in the cab, but they took his luggage to bring to Veronica's. 

The bassist is at the bus stop, hugging Y/N tightly while she cries. Other than that, she's also quiet, not saying anything or explaining her leaving. She can't even bring herself to admit what she's found out, what Roger's done, or how she feels. All she can do is cry, and it feels like she could spend her whole life crying.

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