My sense: go out, make plans, keep yourself busy
Bpd: stay home, dont reply to any messages unless its you're fp, let thoughts of them consume you.

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My sense: go out, make plans, keep yourself busy
Bpd: stay home, dont reply to any messages unless its you're fp, let thoughts of them consume you.

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Why do I blow hot and cold with family members?
Why do I ghost them?
Because I'm constantly torn between not wanting to hold a grudge and feeling resentful and bitter over the past
Cutting ties
I would love to be able to just have a friendship, let closeness develop naturally and see if anything more comes from that but it's not something I've ever felt able to do because I need to know asap if my feelings are returned or not.
I need to know so that I can cut ties and have a clean break before I become too attached
I have my fp "muted" on whatsapp because I cant stop myself from instantly replying as soon as I see a message from them.
I wanna have a fulfilling life on the go before I have a partner but I have no motivation to better myself unless i have a partner so wtf

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I remember when I would think "at least I'm self aware":))
Now I think, what a useless fucking mind set to have unless I use being self aware to change my behaviour.
In the same way a child is punished for misbehaving by sitting them in isolation in the naughty corner, I very much have the same approach with myself, as an adult.
After I overshare I completely isolate myself because I feel I cant be trusted to socialize without putting my foot in it
I seem to forget - just because I have BPD, doesn't mean I am incapable of having genuine feelings for someone.