#bookworm updates

Today is the fourth anniversary of my discovery of being aromantic. And despite everything else in my life being chaotic and stressful, this remains a bright spot of comfort and joy. Four years ago changed everything, and changed it for the better.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through these past four years and will continue to support me through the many to come.

And thank you to my little college freshman self for being brave enough to say it out loud.

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This year seems a bit like a dream. I wrote my first feature film starring two aromantic lesbians. I drafted the trauma play about my high school theatre experience. I found new ways to dress like myself. I got angry about things I've needed to be angry about. I served as a department ambassador at TVFest. I made some of the best little new friends. I hung out with my friends more. I got my first sports bra that actually fits me. I started a new musical. I met one of the best professors and people I've ever loved. I secretaried so many writing club meetings. I got back on pointe. I finally finished The Trials of Apollo. I wrote a dance history paper on dance as recordkeeping across different times of trial. I learned how to make scones-- and they're so good! I binged my way through animated Batman shows. I finally watched Harley Quinn! I stage managed a show! I said goodbye for now to all my graduating friends. I flew first class (so strange!). I finally visited where I was born and where my parents lived in Germany. I went back to Neuschwanstein castle! I ate so much Gelato. I spent the summer abroad in France. I lived in a silly little basement with my silly little friend. I pretty much grew attached at the hip to both some old friends and new ones alike. I traveled to Marseille, Paris (twice!), Avignon, Apt, Geneva, Colmar, Nice, and Monacco. I tried champagne at the Moulin Rouge. I fell in love with two of my friends in particular. I flew by myself. One of my scripts was chosen for a reading. I survived my first (and last) 8pm class. I ran so much! I saw The Wild Robot in theaters with my friend. I looked super cute all October. I met up with so many of my friends. My friend and I dressed up together for Halloween. (I was Bingo.) I was selected to introduce a speaker. My two best friends took me out for my birthday. My favorite professor invited me out to eat. I edited my trauma play!! My professor started reading my books! I did so much at film fest. I did one last hang out with my friends. I moved out of my apartment. I graduated college. I moved back home. I visited my friend and we went to parks in Orlando and we swapped dance cultures. I released my third novel. I had the coziest Christmas and soft season after it. I wrote a lot. I loved a lot.

You Do Not Have To Apologize For Your Existence is officially out on Amazon!!

I will hopefully be pushing it to other platforms in the near future, but for now, a much needed bask in the moment.

Now. I am aware of my spiraling mental patterns-- undiagnosed OCD-- and so I am equally careful to not let my dental anxiety take over my life.

This pretty much just leads to this seesaw of MUST TAKE CARE OF TEETH MUST BE FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BEING MUST TAKE CARE OF TEETH forever and ever.

Anyway. I got a cavity.

Me and my dentist are both confused as to how it happened. My mom thinks they probably missed the early signs at my cleaning before last. I think my mental health dip this past winter may have been worse than I realized. But no matter what, my molar right behind the tooth that already has a filling got a cavity and I had to go get a filling in it on Monday.

I need everyone to stop freaking out about it.

I am not saying dental hygiene isn't important nor am I saying cavities aren't dangerous. Brush your teeth. Go to the dentist.

But there is no moral weight attached to how many fillings you have. Your worth as a person isn't tied to how nice your teeth are. Do the best you can and work through what you can't do on your own. But I haven't had a cavity in a decade and getting my filling was so easy that the hardest part was my face was numb for three hours.

I am back!!!

Hello, darlings! I have returned from my trip to see my friends completely joyful and rejuvenated. I had an absolute blast and wrote almost 6 chapters while I was away, too.

I hope to send out some STS asks in the morning, but they may be sporadic and at weird times, because my family is going to my brother's fencing tournament (he's an alternate, so probably won't compete but should be fun).

Anyway. All this to say, I am hoping for my October to continue to be marvelous and that that will mean I can resume my writeblr love.

All my love,

Today is my third aro-versary and I can barely believe all the wonderful ways something as little as three letters could change my life.

For all the ups and downs, discovering that I am aromantic has allowed me to settle into my own skin in a way I always hoped I would.

I'd just like to thank all of the amazing queer friends I have made that continue to make my life brighter.

And thank you to myself three years ago for being braver than you've ever been before.

And I just...

It's aro goodies. Wrapped in aro colors.

It's stuff they specifically went out to find, including the bracelet from a small business, for my birthday and then my mom was so excited to wrap up in the three colors of tissue paper.

And like. Sure. They might not get it. Not fully.

But they support me not just wholly but joyously.