#bookofthels

Ooooookay, well… I see your point and -hear me out on this- politely disagree.

As someone who has personal experience being a parentified child in a mother/daughter dynamic, I can tell you right now, I’m a grown ass adult and I STILL have to unravel my complicated wiring that has been ingrained in me to parent my mother. And I am NOT a vampire -sadly, disappointingly, sorry to report- that has any preternatural gifts or special qualities that make me want to take care of her. I can tell you right now, she’s not a nice person to me or anyone, really, and yet I still have an insane obsession with making sure she’s always ‘ok’ because she trained me from birth to tend to her and cater to her needs and consider her feelings and interests above everyone else in my life, MOST OF ALL MYSELF.

So, unfortunately, I disagree. Renee, or any regular ole’ mom is quite simply very capable of being a narcissist and manipulating their children. It’s very hard to imagine it if you haven’t gone through it yourself, but when the one person that is supposed to love you unconditionally and care for you as you grow reverses that role on you from birth, you get all mixed up.

I still firmly believe, if you’re to look CANONICALLY at how Bella’s gift is supposed to work -none of the Volturi can get in, Edward can’t, no one can- then Renee and Renesmee shouldn’t be able to get in;or Zafrina, which is another plot hole. The only way they should be able to impact Bella is if she were to release her shield at her own accord. I also believe that Alice and Jasper being able to apply their gifts to her shouldn’t work either, but that’s a whole other issue of Smeyer not making sense.

Anyway, anon, agree to disagree. If Renee’s gift or anyone else’s for that matter works on Bella, then I blame poor writing and a lack of follow through on Smeyer’s end.

In Another Life

A light wind whipped your cold cheek, spilling your hair across your face as you watched the sun glint its last beam above the mountain range before you. Your skin glittered back in response. The sky melded brilliant shades of magenta and lavender - and that new color you’d never known before your new life that couldn’t be given a name.

You were lost for awhile, grounded by the gravity of the beauty around you. You stood at the cliff face long after the sun had departed and the night had illuminated the sky with its galaxy of stars. The full moon left you feeling hollow somehow and the longing made you restless again.

You took a few gentle steps forward allowing gravity to pull you back to the Earth. You felt, just for a moment, like you were a part of the night’s sky. You launched yourself into a sprint, enjoying the caress of dirt on your bare feet. Your mind flooded with each detail of the forest as you moved through it without a trace. You wondered then if you were real at all.

The thought was nearly distracting enough for you to miss the instinct to defend yourself - just nearly.

You suddenly felt the presence of another predator and froze in place. You poised yourself involuntarily. You thought in that moment how strange it was that your body was not always your own.

The footfall approached you quickly, with even more speed than you had anticipated. You calibrated the movements and sounds easily and in an instant knew you were being met with another of your kind. Your body tensed more firmly, though the vampire slowed their pace as they closed in on you. Strange, you thought, that they would slow themselves to a mortal pace.

You waited impatiently as you stared through the thick of the trees until you saw him for the very first time.

His stature was strong and confident, but unimposing. His reddish hair was apparent, even in the moonlight that filtered through the ancient pines. His bright, golden eyes struck you in a way you couldn’t explain. You felt as though your heart had suddenly began to beat again. You brought a hand to your chest and parted your lips to speak, but his smile stopped your words. A short breath escaped you and oddly, you felt a sensation you knew only in your mortal life. The vulnerability you felt was not composed of fear, but of faith.

He had stopped a good distance from you, his pensive eyes locked on yours. He seemed deep in thought, raptured the same way you seemed to be. The curiosity burned you.

“Hello,” he said gently. His words felt like velvet caressing your skin. He was careful to keep his distance and continued to move in slight, humanlike ways.

You studied him silently for a moment, before replying a breathy, “Hello.”

“I apologize,” he said, sheepishly, running a hand through his already tousled hair. “I didn’t expect to run into anyone here. My family and myself haven’t come across another of our kind in quite some time.”

“Your family?” You questioned.

He nodded, smiling a crooked, gentle smile. “Yes,” he replied. “My wife, father, and a few others make up our coven here.”

You mulled his words over in your mind. There was something in the words he spoke that made you feel another lost emotion. You couldn’t quite remember what the pang you felt was called. How strange, you thought, that you could forget something with your perfect mind.

He waited patiently, but broke the silence again. “Are you passing through?”

His tone was polite to conceal concern. You smiled gently, but you weren’t sure why you had the urge to comfort him. “I am,” you said. “I’ll be on my way. I apologize for the interruption.”

You wanted to move, to begin your exit, but you weren’t in control of yourself; your feet refused to carry you away. Your eyes were fixated on his. You caught a glimmer of sadness in his eyes, too, as he studied you.

“You’re welcome here,” he said softly. “No need to apologize.” He moved closer to you then, removing some of the distance between you. As he approached he said, “I’m Edward Cullen.”

“Cullen,” you laughed lightly, “Carlisle. I should have guessed.”

Edward seemed surprised, “You know my father?”

“Your father,” you matched his crooked-smile. “I’ve not met him myself. Though my creator has spoken of him fondly, and in jest.”

You thought of the stories you’d heard of Carlisle, the vampire with an insatiable desire to cure himself and those around him of temptation. You thought it sounded rather like a cult.

Edward chuckled, seemingly in response, “I suppose Carlisle is a bit strange to our kind, but then we all are.” Edward shrugged, gesturing toward himself. His golden eyes illuminated with a new glimmer.

“You’re out here hunting then,” you surmised, smelling the fresh blood of an animal. “Alone?”

Edward nodded, taking another half step as a human would in conversation. It made you want to fidget, yourself. You brushed hair from your face.

“Strange,” he said. “I know.”

You shrugged, “I’ve not tried it myself. Though, I could see why you’d want to.”

His eyebrow arched, “You do?”

You nodded. “I’m quite new to this life,” you looked down at your feet. “So I feel rather close to my humanity in a sense. Feeling closer every day.”

“I’ve found our kind feels quite the opposite in the beginning,” Edward sounded surprised again. “Perhaps more related to God than man.”

You shrugged and brought your gaze back to his. “Perhaps I’ve never felt like either.”

He stood, silently searching for something in your eyes. It made you feel another pang of humanity. Had your heart begun to beat again? Your hand was at your chest again. Neither of you broke your gaze.

“Edward?” you breathed.

The sound of his name on your lips seemed to startle him.

“Yes?” He replied.

“Are you closer to God or man?” Your words were above a whisper. You moved closer to Edward, your body still not your own.

He looked pensive, still firmly studying you. He didn’t answer, but something in his expression made you believe he was whatever you were.

As if you had spoken your sentiment aloud, Edward froze, acting like a vampire for the first time since your meeting. His body was rigid and you felt the need to apologize again, but for what, you weren’t sure.

“My family is waiting for my return,” he said, his eyes pained.

You nodded, fixed in place. “Goodbye, Edward.”

Edward turned slowly, humanly, toward the exit of the clearing. You watched him walk away and caught yourself wanting to follow.

He turned back to you quickly, his eyes boring into yours one last time as he spoke your name with grit and regret.

Your endless future rolled out in front of you as he disappeared into the night. How tortuous, you thought, that all that time had passed before you and how many things you had lost in it.