#bonegrinder

"You can't say I didn't try to cheer you up, but at least you know that's not exactly my strong point. I'll leave you with this," Ralnor patted Leere's shoulder gently, but had some tough loving words for her. "I'm not long for this world. Neither is anyone else you've loved or known for a while. Yet, none of us want you to despair." He told her, "Travel the continents. Learn what you want to know about other cultures. Research history and keep it from falling into nothingness. Watch our descendants multiple and grow. And lastly," The old prince took a moment to pause, "If you cannot find your sunshine, then you can always enjoy the moon. Both still give some light."

Leere gazed up, trying to see the moon. "Yeah. That's true. I don't think I can bury any of you though. I can't... subject myself to that pain over and over." Looking back to Ralnor, Leere had her first look of faint emotion. A plea. "Do you understand?"

"I won't ask you to bury me." Ralnor did not want Leere to have to relive the same pain as today. "Just... maybe visit. Share a bottle of wine at my gravesite with the old snake. Make sure all of our hard work doesn't go to waste."

"I won't..." Leere let out one more sigh. "Is your liver even good anymore for drinking?"

"Leere, I'm older than the word fuck itself, if my liver is shot, than so be it." Ralnor snorted at her inquiry of concern. "Let's go drink."

Leere frowned, her eyes gloomy. She didn’t like the way he was so casual about throwing his life away to possible alcohol poisoning, but her resolve to push back against her brother was gone. “Fine. Cass would be disappointed.”

"Dear sister, let me let you in on a little secret," Ralnor put his arm around her shoulders, using the other hand to support his weight on the cane. "Orana could outdrink many, but never my dear wife."

Sitting in his chambers, Leere gently and slowly dipped from the wine, taking the time to let its contents dull her senses. Part way through the drinking, Leere reached into her bag of holding and pulled out a glass on Lon Lon Romani. It was a milk like alcoholic expresso, created by Sunny. Popping the cork, she poured herself a glass, then silently looked to her brother to see if he wanted a glass.

"I will decline the specialty, Leere, you keep that bottle for yourself." Ralnor carefully sipped at his small glass of wine. "Have you spoken to the snake?"

“Not recently.”

"As much as I hate to say it, you should probably speak to him about what to expect in the upcoming years." Ralnor was old, he was definitely wise, and as always, had very good points. "He has been there, done that, for lack of better phrasing."

“I suppose so. Given his long life span, and my magic inclinations to stay young…” Leere chugged down the milk. Her head was already spinning.

"For now, though... I would suggest learning how to get your emotions on track first." Ralnor told his sister with a sad smile. "Living through the ages with grief... will not be easy."

“Ralnor…” Leere set her mug down, a long look in her eyes as she gazed at him. “In my first one-hundred years I have experienced being set up as a sacrifice, loss of innocence, war, demons, monsters, loss of friends, colleagues, our parents, and my wife. I’ve seen things that would even shake you. To be honest, fate has nothing on me. It can’t get any worse. Maybe… maybe in time it will get better.”

"My dear sister, I'm not saying look for the worst in the world in the future nor am I saying focus on the past." Ralnor told Leere, wise beyond his years, even in old age. "What I'm saying is... don't give up hope."

“I’m sure I’ll find something to do to keep myself preoccupied…” Leere took a swig of the mug again. “I could be Queen, you know.”

"Queen? Of Hyrule?" Ralnor gave a loud laugh at that suggestion. "Leere, as much as I love the idea of you terrifying your subjects with necromancy and having harems to put any others to shame, you've never been on for such a life. Besides," He added more wine to his glass, "You wouldn't do that to our brother's descendants."

"I'm not going to take over or anything. And I wouldn't want to be Queen of Hyrule, per say. I could just Queen it up elsewhere."

"Leere, you always hated doing paperwork and anything with diplomacy," Ralnor snorted at the idea of Leere trying to build her own kingdom. "Your love was archaeology. History. Culture. Go and do that."

“Oh god. I’m going to live long enough for you to be ancient history.” Looking at the wine, Leere took another drink. “Maybe I can get rich digging you up and putting your mummified remains in a Museum one day.”

"Nice try, but I am going to be cremated." Ralnor chuckled at the thought of Leere putting him in a most undignified pose as a mummy. "Cass was cremated and her ashes spread across the Gerudo Desert. I wish to do the same to be with her."

“I suppose there’s peace in that.” Raising her glass, Leere smiled. “To our wives. Strong willed women who should have outlived us both. To seeing them again.”

"I will drink to that." Ralnor took a final sip of his wine and then gave a small sigh, overlooking the kingdom. "Do promise me one thing, though, Leere." The prince then admitted, "I would like for you to come back here when you feel ready. Check in on our descendants. Make sure Covarog's and Zarazu's hard work did not go to waste." He gave her a small smile. "I'm sure they would appreciate it, as would I."

“I will. If anything threatens our descendants, I’ll be here. Who knows… maybe I’ll see the next Link.”

"... maybe there won't be another Link." Ralnor said with a tint of hope in his voice. "Or Papa. Or Mama. Maybe, just maybe... they can finally rest."

“Maybe… but not every Link has been the same reincarnation. Sometimes, like a Diamond in the rough, Hylian tradition to name their children after heroes can mesh beautifully with heroism in times of strife.”

Finishing her drink, Leere steadily got up. “I suppose I should go find Modoc.”

"If anyone names their child after me, I will haunt them." Ralnor retorted dryly, giving his adopted sister a hug. "Go terrorize the snake."

Leere hugged him tight, a part of her afraid to let go for a moment. She didn’t want to lose him. However, she knew life had to go one. Disembarking his room, Leere waved goodbye as she went to search for Modoc. Oddly, she had a sixth sense now about where he would be.

~

"Are you going to return to Omisha?" Napochi was speaking to his uncle as Joy rested inside her mothers' home. It had been a long week for her and she was exhausted. While he was too large to fit inside the house, he was comfortable with Modoc inside of the barn. "Mother has been wondering when you will come home."

"Perhaps after things settle here." Modoc told Napochi with a small sigh, "I can't exactly travel without drawing too much attention. I don't really want to anyhow," He shifted slightly in the hay, "I'd rather go back to Omisha and live out my days watching my nieces and nephews or training the next shaman."

Leere supposed she should have found Napochi and Modoc at the barn. It was the only place for them that could fit their sizes. Dismounting her horse, she settled next to a wooden in the barn, politely waiting to be noticed.

Hearing the horse approach, Napochi slithered near the edge, looking downward.

"Mother-in-law," He was always so formal with his speech, "Joy is in the house if you're looking for her.”

“I-… thank you Napochi. I’m sure she’s resting. I’m actually here to speak to Modoc.”

"Oh, shit." Modoc grumbled under his breath, figuring that Leere was going to chew him out about something else out of his control.

"Very well, I will give the two of you the barn." Napochi slithered out of the hayloft, "I will wait on the porch until you are finished speaking."

“Thank you Napochi.”

Leere waited until her son-in-law made his way out. Silence fell between her and Modoc. When she finally spoke, Leere did so with conviction, but it was clear her energy was sapped. “Modoc. We need to talk about our future.”

"What future?" Modoc asked with a drawl to his voice, leaning over the hay loft to look at Leere. "The one where you wallow in grief for hundreds of years, cursing me? The one where I try to forget the past two thousand years of Prama's influence on my mind? The one where we hate each other until the goddess of death eventually comes for my soul once more?" He gave a small scoff, "Let's be honest, Leere, we can't kill ourselves. Zarazu would be pissed at us for taking the easy way out and a worse punishment might be waiting. Not to mention, if we hurt each other, then we're only going to be hurting ourselves. There's no way out of this deity-forsaken trap."

“No. There isn’t a way out of this for us. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to suffer in despair in that time. And I don’t want to fight with you either. What would the point be?” Leere let her arms plop against her sides. “However, I am going to grieve. In my own way. I’m going to leave Hyrule. And, I want to know if you would want to come with me?”

"Leere, there is no possibility that I could travel with you." Modoc gestured to himself, thinking she had hit her head. "Look at me. I'm a giant snake man who scares the ever living shit out of people." He then told her, "Even if I challenged magic to alter my appearance, it would be very draining. Mother has need of me back in Omisha, so I will return there."

“Okay…” Leere took a deep breath. “I just wanted to ask you. You are, and will be forever now, my longest relationship in my life. And I hoped I could go on this journey with someone I care for.”

"Leere, you have to be honest with yourself," Modoc knew how she was feeling. He could sense it. She was merely trying to spare his feelings. "You can barely stand the sight of me right now. While I will always care for you, I believe you need time to sort out how you feel."

“Modoc. I don’t hate you. You aren’t responsible for what has happened to me. I am. I made that choice years ago. Maybe… maybe I thought you could help me sort it out.” Leere took a seat on a barrel of hay. “I’m sure Mother has her hands light with Napochi and Sadon there. Maybe we can both just… escape Hyrule and Omisha for a bit?”

"If you truly believe those words, then why are you mad at me?" Modoc asked Leere, not understanding. "Why do I sense that you feel such bitterness?"

“Because-!” Leere finally felt some more flare come back to her. “Because when Joy was born, I was never the same after the tower while Chaos was still dwelling in our world. It made me paranoid, and an asshole towards my monster friends. I wanted to protect her from everything, even when I knew you’d never hurt her, or corrupt her. And then, we never just took the time to sit down and sort our shit out after I forcibly brought you back to life. I’m bitter because I wasted time between us. Fuck it. That’s why.”

Modoc almost wanted to laugh about Leere mentioning how much time she had wasted, when now, she had more time than any mortal her age. Yet, it did make him feel a bit sad, recalling how Leere had all but ignored him, not to mention Blue and White. She even refused to visit Mother in Omisha. True, part of this situation could be his own fault. Modoc was incredibly angry with Leere for bringing him back, for breaking her promise to him, but... now, once more, he had resigned himself to his fate.

"And now... I think you realize that time is the one thing we cannot protect our loved ones from."

“Yeah.” Leere looked down to an open spot beside her, silently gesturing to him to join her. “Do you remember Hades?”

"... yes." Modoc felt that sharp twinge of pain in his chest. "I... really wish I could have brought back his species for him. But Prama wouldn't let me."

“I know you had a close relationship with him. I know I didn’t have as much time with him, but I did consider him my friend. He was grounded amongst the wackiness the rest of the hive could get up to. He was encouraging, always listening and giving sage advice. Then he tried to kill us… I never felt a betrayal like that before.” Leere held onto herself, silence filling the room for a bit. “Modoc… I’m sorry. I let that experience twist my trust again. I let it hurt my relationship with you for a long time. And I thought I could help repair it by bringing you back. But I only made things worse. I don’t want to have this strain between us. I love you. As much as Joy, my family, or Sunny.”

Once again, Leere fell silent. Part of her felt stupid. Even if wasn’t angry with her, he wouldn’t feel the same. 

"Before Hades made his choice, he was my oldest friend." Modoc told Leere, thinking back to when he met the Lionel. "He was just a kitten, starving and lost. I watched him grow, just as I did you." The Anagari could sense that Leere's apology was heartfelt and sincere. She truly meant those words, but it was hard not to have doubts after so long of Leere's dismissal. "Sometimes, those you love the most are the ones who hurt you the most."

Rolling over onto his back in the hayloft, the shaman sighed heavily, conflicted, "I understand why you did what you did, Leere. I truly do. I just..." He ran a hand down his face, "I know you wanted me here, partly because of selfish reasons and the other to help you protect your family. I understand that, I do, I know the why, I know the reason, I just..." He groaned softly, thinking of his own family, his beautiful mate, his sweet hatchlings. It pained him to think of their faces. "When you are at peace... true peace, and then suddenly yanked away from it, it leaves you feeling so hollow for a time. While I was angry at you, I do not hate you."

Leere’s grew a little solemn. Steady, she got up, walking over to Modoc. Best she could, she did her best to hug him. "You sure we can't just take time to get close again?"

Modoc was a touch surprised at the hug. Leere had avoided him like the plague until now. It felt odd, but... somewhat comforting. He had lost many of his friends. Hades betrayed him. Silver lost his life in the war. Black had his final rest granted by the goddess of death. Red was still running his brothels, but he rarely saw the incubus. Blue and White were still alive, thankfully, but now had lives of their own. It was so painful to watch those he cared for suddenly vanish from his life.

"... we do have plenty of time." Modoc spoke softly, "Anagaris can live up to a thousand years, Leere. Before I died, the first time, I was in my mid three hundreds... so we have quite a while."

"And who knows how we'll account for my lifespan and magic." With a sigh, she patted his chest with her bare, almost tender hand. "Are you sure I can't convince you to join me? I'm sure Mother has plenty of help in Omisha. And if you do have to wear a disguise, I know spells that can help take away the discomfort. I could use a friend on the road. I'm thinking of going to Danjur first, but if you can't join me, maybe I would visit Fayruz in Al-Daida instead."

"From what I know, Mortuus usually lived a normal human lifespan unless a deal was made of some sort with hellish magic." Modoc felt her hand trying to give him a source of ease with the tiny pats. It made him think of when he used to carry her around. Years ago, Leere used to demand he be her personal chauffeur. It used to make him chuckle when she'd just hold up her arms like she was a kid again. "... I am not one for traveling, Leere. Those who know me as a host still hold resentment. But I will go with you to Al-Daida before Omisha," He thought of the matriarch, "She, at least, will not banish me from her country."

“Thank you…” Leere hugged him again, before letting go. “I should go talk with Joy. Need her help in getting my affairs in order.”

"Take your time and grieve, Leere." Modoc told her, a solemn expression on his face. "I... didn't have time to grieve when I lost my family. And I should have been able to. You do what you need to."

Nodding, Leere made her way back into her house. Opening the door to the inside, she paused, looking at the bench she and Sunny sat on for so many days they were married. Going inside and up the stairs, she passed by too many photographs for their lives, with Sunny getting older and older. Finally, reaching Joy’s bedroom, Leere peered in. “Joy?”

Her daughter stirred awake from the sound of her mother’s voice, a little tired in her voice. “Mom?”

“I’m sorry. I can come back later if you like.”

“No. It’s fine. Come in.”

Leere made her way in, crawling on top of the bed to lay beside her daughter. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. But I’m far from okay.”

Leere felt the hollowness in her daughter’s voice. It was understandable. “I know. I feel the same now she’s gone.”

Joy turned to her mother, taking a deep breath to keep her emotions in check. She had a long day of crying already, and she didn’t want to start again. “Mom’s going to be okay. And in time, we’ll see her again. It’ll just take a little longer for you…”

“Joy. I need to tell you something.”

Sending some hesitation in her mom’s voice, Joy took her hand gently, giving it a squeeze of encouragement. “What is it mom?”

“I’m going to leave Hyrule. My way of healing, my best way-“

“Is to adventure.” At this point, Joy was sitting up on the bed. She knew her mother well, more so the older she got. Leere loved the sense of travel, the excitement and wonder that came with it. Helping her mom up, Joy smiled with some sadness, but also understanding. “Mom. Sunny would want you to be happy. Mama would know that you can’t stay cooked up here. And I know that too. You’re a free spirit, and I think you need to see the world to let it help heal you.”

“Oh Joy.”

“Go out there. Be wild. Just… just try to visit? Or message me once in a while? I can look after the house here.” A little more serious, Joy put on her doctor's face. “Mama and I won’t, wouldn’t, care if you look for intimacy. But please. Don’t go on drugs again.”

Leere flinched at hearing that. She supposed Sunny must have told Joy at some point of her mom’s troubled past before she meet the farmer. Nodding, she made a vow here and now to Joy. “I won’t. Nothing hard or dangerous ever again.”

“Thank you. And be safe. I love you mom.”

“I love you too, my Joy.”

Hugging her, Leere prayed for her daughter to have a long and safe life.

~

A month of preparations was in order for Leere. She took time to cry, to celebrate the life Sunny led with remaining friends and family, and to plan. If she were to leave Hyrule to travel the world, she’d need organization, at least to a degree. Identities to go by, magic items to bring, and how to live happily.

With a step in her speed, Leere made her way to the castle. She needed one last goodbye and to make some arrangements with the royal family. Donning a pair of red tinted glasses, she wore a nice leather jacket and traveling pants for the occasion.

"Didn't Mother always tell you not to skip in the halls?" Ralnor chuckled as Leere rounded the corner. He had been waiting for her. "She was always so worried you'd break one of her antiques."

“You’re just jealous I still have the figure for it. Besides, I was always a good child. Anytime I slipped up Rinku and Skull Kid were happy enough to take the fall.”

"Those two never grew up and therefore have a valid excuse." Ralnor followed Leere into the throne room. "You know, you don't have to go. You're more than welcome to stay here."

“I know. But if there’s one thing I shared with our late sister it’s that I could never stay in one spot for long. I did so for Sunny. But now that she’s gone… I need to go. Hyrule’s just a sad reminder right now. In time, I’m sure that will change, but I do need time to work that out.” Leere took her brother’s hand, smiling. “If I do stay, I’m pretty certain I’ll go mad and turn all of you into children to have you grow up again.”

"Leere, if you make me go through puberty again, I will bite you." Ralnor shook his head, understanding her need to leave. "Go off on one of your grand adventures yet again. It will do you good."

“Yeah. I’ve already said goodbye to Orana and Tebby. As for Kanisa, I’ll figure something out. All that’s left is you and little Lui-Lui.”

Leere gave Ralnor a pat on the back. "Let's go find the little red head, shall we?"

"That little redhead isn't so little anymore." Ralnor walked alongside Leere, going into the throne room where Luimaya and Xidoren waited. He looked at the pair, standing side by side, talking to their children. The old prince gave a small sigh, a smile creeping onto his face. It was rare to see him be so relaxed. "... I'm so glad that she had a chance to be happy too."

"Indeed." Leere walked in, and, with a flick of her finger, she made a few wrapped boxes appear. With a full smile, she shouted out to the kids. "Who's your favourite Aunt!"

It was indeed an odd sight to Ralnor. Long ago, Luimaya had told the prince that she thought she would never have a family after learning of her fate to be the host of Balance. Now, here he was, watching her laugh as her children greeted Leere. Luimaya and Xidoren were parents to five beautiful daughters and two handsome sons. 

"Goodness, you'll never stop spoiling them, will you?" Luimaya gave her aunt a smile. "Then again, I suppose that is what aunts are for."

"Shadow Sage---I mean, Princess Leere," Xidoren was as formal as ever with his speech, "You are too kind."

"Not kind enough I think. For all of you. Books of adventure and lockets of beauty and mystery. Enjoy." Ruffling some of their hair, she made her way up to the Queen, giving Luimaya a hug. She was in a much better mood since the funeral. "Hello dear. How are you doing?"

"Aunt Leere, I'm old, I'm here, I'm still a bit fabulous, and I've somehow managed to keep the kingdom from falling apart, so I'd say I'm all right." Luimaya returned the hug and then added, "But most of all... I'm happy." She had her hand holding Xidoren's, still very much in love despite all that had happened.

"You don't look at all a day over thirty-nine. It makes me happy to know that you have this full joy in your heart." Leere smiled at them both, a twinkle of sadness in her eyes, but with a blink, she pushed it away.

"It seems that we were both able to master our fate in the end." Xidoren gave Luimaya a smooch on the forehead. "Are you sure you wish to travel? We are more than happy to accommodate you in the castle."

"Xidoren... I can't stay. I don't want Hyrule to feel like a prison of time. If I stay for the hundreds of years I have left, it won't feel special anymore, let alone a home. I need to journey outwards. If I do so, the moments I do return will make Hyrule feel all the better." Turning to Luimaya, Leere cupped her niece's hands. "Do you understand?"

"I understand." Luimaya never wanted to think of how hard it would be to live on and watch her family die. It was a curse she'd never wish upon anyone. The only way to live with this type of pain was to try and outrun it. "Just be careful."

"I will. You know I will check in on our family line right? Keep them safe. And, if need be, keep them honest."

"I trust you to do so." Luimaya knew that eventually Leere would return to Hyrule. Probably not in her lifetime, but, at least here and there to check on the descendants. It was a heavy thought, but one that gave her a bit of comfort.

"Hey." Leere lifted her drooping chin up. "No sad thoughts. Not for you. Not anymore. You have a long, happy life ahead of you now. Hyrule is going to flourish under your care. You don't have to worry about me."

"I know." Luimaya grabbed Leere in a tight hug, and whispered in her ear, "Kaksa said Modoc will take care of you and you'll do one better for the world. Just... don't lose sight of the light."

Leere's eyes flashed with sadness for a moment. Her heart would miss her family heavily here. The deep loving hug from her niece didn't help make the leave easier. Hugging her back, Leere nodded. "I won't. You can't cast a shadow without light after all."

Saying her goodbyes, Leere was led to the castle gates by her family. Smiling, she gave them all a wave goodbye as she set off. Taking a breath, she looked up at the Sun. She hoped she would feel Sunny's warmth once more.

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