When She Hide Her Sadness (HQ!Bokuto K. x OC)
"I choose to hear your sadness, not forced to hear your sadness"
Synopsis: Las, Bokuto's girlfriend for 2 years of dating, hid a secret that Bokuto should know as her boyfriend.
Characters: Bokuto Koutarou, OC (Las) *just imagine OC as Y/N if you comfortable with that
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship, Slice of Life
Word Count: 1400+
©noonajoe (Published on 5 March 2023 - 23:00 Bangkok Time) this story is not going to be sold, modified, or translated in any manner.
“Hey, hon”, Bokuto said.
“Oh, hey, I thought you will be late. I already ate the leftovers…” Las answered while picking up his jacket and hugging him, basically their routine every day.
“Coach told us to back early since it’s been a whole month we trained until midnight and rested until next week’s tournament” he kissed his partner’s cheek and stroked her head “Plus, don’t worry about the food, I already ate” he answered while walking to the living room.
“Oh… okay” she stood in her place looking at his back walking to the living room.
“Oh, c’mon hon aren’t you miss me? I thought you were happy finally see me this early at night” he laughs, pouting at his partner’s face until he realizes she hid her face with his jacket.
“Hon?” he put a little force because she didn’t show her face fully to her partner. There it is, a swollen bare face, he could tell that she was sleeping an hour ago and woke up in nightmares.
“It’s okay, I already know” he answered. She just remains silent, still not looking at him.
“Hmmm…. This is 10 PM, I know you always try to sleep early because your nightmares often attack you at 2 AM right?” He asked, and he’s not mad, he took her hand, rubbing her knuckles. She didn’t tell him about her sufferings. Las was a really independent one, she always took care of herself but on good terms, because whether she was sick or having constant nightmares, she didn’t tell Bo because she don’t want to burden her partner’s mind. Always lying to him that she’s okay but Bo is a really sensitive and caring one so even tho she didn’t tell him he knows and he will wait until she has the courage to tell him by herself.
“So?” he asked once again, “Hon, I think… 2 years is enough to tell me, don’t you agree?” He tilted his head to her.
She lifted her head, shocked. How could Bo know this all time? She hid it perfectly even her friends at work didn't know a thing that she have these constant nightmares for 2 years.
“Sorry if I’m rude, but I always witness your struggles when you sleep, your nightmares. Just hugging you when you had nightmares is painful tho. You often cry when you sleep” He said that with a sad face.
Las just smiled, and said, “it’s ok, I’m just working on it.”
Looking at her “fake smile” makes him much sad than his current expression.
“Sorry, hon. I just… Don’t want to burden you, with this constant sadness. I just want to make happy memories, that’s all. People in the past… tired of hearing my sad stories. And I left, ashamed, that’s why I moved out and found a new job, making sure I will keep the sadness inside” she answered, holding her tears because she really mean it, went to a psychologist by herself, doing positive-impacted activities in order to divert her sadness. Trying her best not to tell her ‘sad sides’ even to her partner.
“I’m just so sorry if you’re upset because I hid all of them.” she wiped her tears and hid her face with her hands. “Sorry hon, I can’t look like this in front of you, not this ‘like of crying’”
He holds her hand so she finally showed her crying face, but she still closes her eyes because she’s too embarrassed. “You’re still stubborn as the woman I know for 2 years, aren’t you?” he laughed because he can see she struggles a bit because she want to hide her face.
“Hon, it’s okay to cry….” he said, still waiting for her to open her eyes. “I always turn to my emo mode, during my sad moments, I always borrow your lap for a day, making them stiff because I am so comfortable just lying down in your lap while you always telling me your stories, and now you tell me you worried it could burden me?”
“Hon…., my best friend told me I’m too covered up with sadness. My parents even didn’t ask me how I am doing… Even if I tell them they always said I’m overreacting. It’s just hard.”
“Maybe your best friend having a hard time too? And your parents maybe they never faced this problem with professionals so they judge you like that. But it’s not like you have to bottle up yourself 24/7, right?” He tries to be rational but he just loved her so much that he carefully picks safe lines for her.
“Because its every day, Bo. sooner or later if I’m telling you all of them you will get tired and nothing changes for me. As a human, you’ll get tired to hear sadness over and over again” okay, she keeps hurting herself more and more.
The situation got quieter, she still crying, still closing her eyes, let the tears drip constantly. “I always treasure you, of course, you’re strong, really dependable, and your career’s great, sometimes I really hate your stubbornness but okay. Well sometimes I even asked myself why you rarely asked my help or even you never told me about your sadness, but I respect that you don’t want to tell me,” he tells her. She opened her eyes, but still not looking at him.
“You mention about tired. Okay. Your friend is tired, your parents, well exclude them as well. But... nevermind, Who am I to you?” he sighed, trying to pick a play with her because he doesn’t want to make the situation stiff.
“Ha?” she was confused at his question, it doesn’t make sense with his first sentence.
“Who am I to you?”
“Uh… do I really need to answer that?” Las finally looked at him with an extremely confused face.
“Okay if you do not want to answer I think Im not treasurable enough to you then” he pouted, letting go of her hand playfully. He stands up and walks towards their bedroom.
“Wait? Well, we’re partners!” she chases Bo to their room.
“What partner? Business Partner? Friendly Zone partner?” He keeps playing with her words.
“No! I mean, well we live together? Well… romantically? us?” she confused
“I believe there is no term of “romantic partner?” He turns around her, and looked at her seriously. “Fine, we’re ‘partner’ then. You really don’t care about me”
“Wait! Okay okay, Bo! We are dating and you’re my boyfriend!” She gives up.
“Oh? I’m too tall to hear something from everyone who’s under my height. Can I hear it once again?”
“Ugh! You’re my boyfriend, okay? Satisfied?!” Enough being played, she walks out of their bedroom.
He grabs her and both of them lay on the bed, “do you know what a boyfriend’s duty is?” he is asking seriously.
“Uh… no? I think there is now required law that” okay she's a real nerd that is so stupid about emotional & relationship things.
“Dumb nerd, make sure their girl is secure, sharing happiness, listening to their burden, and finding solutions together” He kissed her forehead. “If you mention tired, of course, I’m human too. But, I choose to live with you, I choose to be in a relationship, I choose to create happiness with you, I must prepare and always be ready to extend my tiredness level to work on this relationship because I choose them to.” He explained. “Hon… if I don’t want to get tired, I will choose to be single and not even mention having a girlfriend. But I choose you because I’m ready for everything, and I’m happy, okay?”
“... okay” Both of them sit on their bed, while Bo holds her hands, and asked her once again, “Okay, time to back to a serious one, so when did this happen?”.
“I think… 3 years ago”
“Constantly happened every day?” he asked again.
“.... Yeah, I think so. Sometimes I got sleepy when I go to work” she tried to remember, poor Las, has a short-term memory to remember.
“Wait…. Is that why at that time when you managing the Olympics documentation team you fainted?” He asked, remembering at that time Bo was constantly chatting with her.
“Uh… I think so… Well,,,”
“Hon….. 3 years? Really? You didn’t tell me? What did your psychologist say?? No wonder your eyebags are getting bigger day by day!” He pouted while stroking at Las’ eyebags.
“Well, its not a depression. Yet. Thankfully, the therapy really encourages me not to have sleeping pills/ medicine, so I don’t know… I’m just following their instructions…” she was also confused why she survived this long, 3 years.
“No. That’s it, im going to accompany you to the therapy. One more year still remains like this and we’ll change the doctor” Bokuto headed over to the bathroom without saying anything.
“Wait! You can’t just make that decision without my opinion!” Las complained.
“I can, I’m your boyfriend, remember? It’s also a punishment for not telling me in 2 years”
