#bogwrites

-

stupid, stupid, stupid. why did you leave him like that?

maria wanted to talk more with him, they really did. but suddenly the room felt too small and the murmurs from other patients rang too loudly in their ears and the bitter smell of antiseptics was just too overwhelming. gepard was about to say something before they stomped out of the clinic. they wanted to stay, but at the same time they needed some alone time. the tightness in their chest moved up, twisting into a prickly sensation in their tear ducts. with a shaky sigh, they sat down beside the clinic’s entrance, hugging their knees.

the door opened, and maria didn’t need to look up to know who it was. “you alright?” came natasha’s gentle voice. maria released a muffled sound of affirmation from their throat. there’s a sniffle or two before they wiped their teary eyes with their hand.

“he’s awake.” they said.

“he is.” said natasha.

“i.. i don’t know what came over me.” maria avoids natasha’s gaze. “it’s as if an automaton grizzly had been lifted from my shoulders.” their usually calm voice cracks a bit at the end, and they stop to breath for a moment.

lifeless brown eyes met with red-colored ones, but under the warm light emitting from the lamp, one could almost see a faint glimmer. “he is awake.” maria repeated.

the senior doctor’s expression softens. “and you, my friend, need some sleep.” she bends down slightly to cup maria’s cheek. “when was the last time you even ate?” her fingers trace the outline of dark circles under their eyes before gently pinching their cheek. the younger medic doesn’t respond, and averts their gaze once more.

“i’m fine.” maria tugs natasha’s hand away, “i’ll be back in a bit—” they try to stand, but suddenly their legs feel like jelly and they wobble. if natasha hadn’t supported them in time, they would have toppled over and hit their head on the ground.

“maria.” 

“just— give me a minute.” they panted, dusting themselves off.

“maria.” a warning tone. it’s enough to make maria flinch, and there’s a flash of nervousness in their eyes.

natasha sighs and straightens her colleague’s collar. “you haven’t slept for 2 days, much less had a proper meal yet.” her voice was laced with worry, but there’s a sternness to it that would make anyone comply with her orders wishes. “tell me, what does a lack of sleep do to a person?”

“...impaired decision-making.”

“mhm. and as doctors, we always need to be of sound mind. we have our patients’ lives on our hands.”

maria nods slowly in understanding. they glance at the clinic doors. maybe if they could check on him once again, their fatigue would be gone—

“you are forbidden from entering the clinic starting today until tomorrow.”

they gawked at natasha’s gentle smile. “but…”

“i’ve already informed mikkel, and he’ll be here shortly to take you home.” she waves her phone in front of them, and maria could see the faint outline of natasha’s messages to their roommate. if they had dog ears, they surely would have been put down like a kicked puppy.

a hand squeezed their shoulder comfortingly, “captain gepard will be fine. though if you want to check on him yourself…” natasha beamed at them, “the sooner you recover, the faster you’ll be able to do it.”

-

the first thing gepard feels is softness. something is gently patting his skin, starting from his forehead and making its way to his arm. there's a throbbing pain everywhere on his body, but it's especially worse on his arm. he struggles to open his eyes— and he finds that he is only able to open one for now.

"you're awake." his vision is blurry, but there's only one person who could have that familiar voice and black hair. they stare at him with lifeless eyes, a contrast to the gentle smile on their face.

maria. he wants to say their name, but his throat is dry and his voice won't cooperate. gepard's eyes finally adjust to the light, which bounces on their hair from above. it seems like a halo from his position below, mesmerized at the sight.

"do you know me?" they put the towel in their hands down on the table beside them. "if you can't move your head, blink twice if yes. blink once if no."

gepard weakly nods once, and the medic in front of him visibly relaxes.

"you're in natasha's clinic." maria's voice is steady as their eyes inspect him from head to toe. "we brought you here for urgent medical care after that skirmish, and you've been unconscious for two days. as for your injuries..." they shift in their seat, and for a split second, their smile seemed to falter. "a broken arm, multiple bruises and scratches, and an injured eye. don't worry, it's not enough to cause vision loss, but it'll leave a pretty nasty scar."

"and... the others?" his voice comes out raspy after being unused for a while.

"no casualties." they shake their head, "you can rest easy now."

a sigh escapes his lips in relief. "thank you." his gaze lingers a little too long on the dark circles under maria's eyes. a dull and suffocating feeling creeps up in his chest at the realization that it had been a busy day for them with the influx of injured patients. "you should get some rest, too." 

he only realizes that they were leaning close to him when they pull away, sitting up straight. "i'm fine, really." even their voice sounds more distant, as if putting a wall to shield themselves. "there's more work to do, i can't just sit idly by when people need my help." 

part of him wants to argue with them, that rest should be just as important as work, but the smile on maria's face tells him that they'll take no opinions on their decision and it is final. still, he wants to do it. but before he could find the proper words to do so, the medic stands up, makes an excuse says something about checking on the others, and leaves with hurried steps.

-

there's not much to do while recovering from injury. it's one of gepard's least favorite things about being injured— the time he spends staring at the ceiling or sleeping could have been spent on maybe catching up with paperwork or checking up on the guards' training. he couldn't sneak off and work this time, though. he'll never forget how the smile from maria's face faded when he suggested the idea of bringing some of his pending documents to the clinic.

"you'll be discharged soon enough, captain. but as long as you're here, your focus should be on rest and recovery only."

their cold use of his title will forever be engrained in his mind. he truly could not find it in himself to argue with them. if his older sister were here, she would probably laugh at the scene in front of her. teasing him about how they had him wrapped around their finger, much like when they were still children. he wonders if maria knows about this, too. or if they've ever noticed the way he softens up around them—

typing with one hand on such a tiny device (and cracked screen) is hard, but it's the only thing he can do to distract himself for now. gepard's messages were filled with 'get well soon's' and even a moving picture from the supreme guardian with glitter and flowers, accompanied by a notification that he should take all the time off that he needs to recover. it was a struggle thanking everyone, with the frequent occasional typo here and there, but he managed to do it. and now he was scrolling mindlessly through short videos on his phone.

his browsing was interrupted when a voice called out to him. "how are you feeling, captain gepard?" it was none other than the only other doctor in the clinic, natasha.

"i'm feeling better than yesterday, thank you." he nods, but he wonders if he should ask...

"i sent maria home."

"ah." well, his question must have been written on his face in all capital letters for natasha to have noticed it.

the senior doctor gives him an amused look, "they haven't slept in two days. even so, they tried to stay, but only became convinced when i told them that lack of sleep is dangerous for this job, leading to life-threatening accidents." she sighs, sitting beside him. "i hope you don't mind that i'll be the one changing your bandages this time."

"i don't mind." gepard shifts slightly to give her better access to his bandages. this time, she says. he tries to fight down the embarrassment at the thought of maria stripping him down and patching him up themselves. even if it was done for medical purposes... it's unsettling that they have seen his bare skin, which was littered with scars and healed wounds from previous battles.

natasha seems to sense his discomfort, and starts talking as she worked around him. "doctors aren't supposed to have preferential treatment towards their patients. each one should be treated equally." 

he stays silent, not knowing where she was going with this conversation.

"but if it gives you any comfort," she starts wrapping a fresh roll of bandages onto his skin, "after treating everyone else, maria stayed by your side most of the time. constantly looking after you, waiting for you to wake up. i believe they may have shed some tears once you did— but keep that between us, alright?"

gepard feels the heat creeping up his neck, a tinge of pink dusting his pale skin all over. "they did that." his words don't come out as a question, more like a statement. in awe that someone other than his family would cry for him. cared for him enough to lose sleep just to make sure that he was okay.

"indeed." natasha nodded. she's almost finished patching him up, "from what i can see, you definitely have a chance. it's just a matter of who makes a move first."

his neck almost breaks at the speed of him turning his head to look at her, "i— i don't—" he stammers, and he internally curses the overwhelming heat on his cheeks and the heart that was threatening to leap out of his chest.

she simply smiles at him as she stands up, and that's when he remembers that this doctor might have been spending too much time with his sister. or maybe he was just that obvious from the beginning. his phone buzzes on the table beside the bed, and through the cracked screen, there was a single notification.

maria: got sent home but couldn't sleep. how are you?