Body Positivity: 

    Heisenberg and Hope had known each other for a while now; the two growing quite close to being more than just friends. They had picked up on each other's mannerisms, knew each other's boundaries and all together grew comfortable with one another. They respected each other and altogether trusted one another. However, there were times when they would each hear the other say something and disagreed with as comes a time with any relationship. Heisenberg had noticed Hope’s voice and attitude towards herself wasn’t always positive. Sometimes she didn't even need to say anything for him to tell she didn't like herself by a look she gave the mirror when she glanced there or a comment made to her by someone: all positive comments but there was a disbelief in her eyes. She didn’t believe it herself. Heisenberg had watched her reactions till he decided he was going to do something about it.  He had always thrown in a word to encourage her when she did say something but there was a point that wasn’t gonna work anymore and he knew she wasn’t believing him so now he had to step it up a notch.

    “What’s  that?” His arms were full of boxes for donations while Hope was putting the last article of clothing into the last box. She had looked rather sad putting in but at Heisenberg’s voice she threw it in the box quickly, slapping the lid closed. Her face was red when she looked at him, 

    “Ah nothing! Nothing-just something I impulse bought and never wore. “ She stood up now holding the box looking up at him with a feeble smile. When she spoke, she stuttered,  “‘I’m done, thanks for helping me with the boxes. We can head down to the car now and-

“What was it?” He watched her face fall. Heisenberg gave her a look over while he adjusted the boxes in his arms. He saw her face go pale then red in a matter of moments then watched her practically fold into herself like an origami crane. 

    “Ah well it was just some sleepwear I thought looked cute for a second but then got home and thought about it and felt a little self-conscious about it. It’s really nothing-

“Put it on.”

“Wh-what?!” 

He saw  Hope’s life flash before her eyes in a moment. She just stood there clutching the box, eyes wide and mouth fallen open in shock. Heisenberg was already putting down the boxes and sitting himself down at one of the kitchen chairs. He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.  

    “I want to see it: I bet it looks really good on you, maybe you just need another set of eyes to change your opinion on it.” With that he just smirked and lowered his glasses.

“Karl, really it doesn't look that great, who knows if it even fits anymore. I have gained weight and-” She looked at him to see him now: elbows on the table, chin in the palms of his hands blinking those spring green eyes at her with a little pout on his lips,

“Pretty please, Little Violet? Just two seconds of seeing you in that’s all I ask.” Hope made a noise of displeasure and looked at him again, frowning while he just blinked his eyes at her. She didn’t move or say anything until he started to whine like a hurt dog. That in turn started her own dog to whine and bark sadly. Hope war frowning at the two of them until she finally just shook her head,

“All right! I'm going to do it but only for two seconds and you can’t say anything or just ah!” Hope just trailed off in quiet cursing while she dropped the box back onto the floor, ripped out the article of clothing (before Karl could get a good peek at it) and stomped off to the bathroom. Heisenberg stopped whining and chuckled leaning back in his chair now, arms returning to being crossed over his chest. The General barked happily and went over to Karl, laying his head on Heisenberg’s thigh looking up at him happily.

“Good job, pup, really helped out the cause, remind me to give you a treat later.” Karl scratched the dog’s head while the old dog gave another little woof  of approval. They could still hear Hope cursing in the bathroom until finally it went silent. Karl stopped petting the dog and looked up at the sound of the door creaking open, he saw Hope’s round face peek out still frowning. 

“You better be looking cause its only gonna be two seconds and then Im going to go change so we can go donate all this stuff all right?”

Karl immediately sat up right, took off his glasses and had that laid back little smile. He gave a bow of his head, “You have my full attention, Buttercup.”  

Hope was glaring at him. She didnt move from her hidden position behind the door,  “You can’t laugh either, don’t even breathe a comment, promise?”

Karl snorted and gave her a look, eyebrows cocked,  “Why would I laugh at you, I would never-

“Promise Karl!”

Karl put up his hands in defense ,”All right I promise, I swear won't laugh at you.”

Hope was still looking upset but finally sighed once more before timidly taking a careful step out from behind the door. Hope hadn’t even taken a step away from the bathroom. She literally closed the door behind her and was glued to the outside of it, eyes looking downward, wringing her hands in front of her nervously. Hope was too afraid to meet his eyes though she could feel his intense gaze. She was too embarrassed and a part of her felt shame for even wearing this even though there was nothing to feel shame about. The outfit was a dark purple baby doll style nightie with black lace trimming. It was pretty low cut and short for Hope’s standards though at the time, when she first put it on, it made her feel good about herself though now she felt like she wanted to crawl into a hole. Karl had said nothing and the two seconds ticked by before Hope spoke, voice shaking,

“All right, it’s been two seconds Im going to change back now- AH!”

She hadn’t been staring at him and her mind had been too loud yelling at her in shame to have heard Heisenberg stand up. In one stride, Karl closed the gap between the two of them. He didn’t touch her but his arms were outstretched bracing the door behind her making it nearly impossible for her to move. Hope fearfully looked up into his eyes to see them staring right down at her. There was a look there she rarely saw but it was a hungry one of frustration there too, sad even? 

“Why don’t you like yourself in this?” His voice shook with a low rumble, she could practically feel it in his chest by how close they were. Hope gulped something down and looked away, she couldn’t take looking into his eyes. 

“I-I I just dont.” she stuttered. “It was a stupid purchase out of impulse.”

“Why, Hope? There has to be a reason why  you bought it, you just dont impulse buy something you don’t like.”  his voice was practically trembling, she could see his body shiver slightly too. “So tell me…why.”

    Hope shivered and now covered her chest with her arms, looking downward still. Her voice still shook with that embarrassment and shame, 

    “At the time when I tried it on at the store, I felt…good but when I got home…. I realized how stupid that was. I shouldn’t wear something like this it’s not me, I’m too big, and it’s so short and-” She was cut off by a wolf like huff from Karl, 

    “I’m sorry, what?” He growled, “Who told you were too big to wear something like this? Who told you what you can and cannot wear huh? Do you not realize how- fucking-"  she could hear the waver in his voice and he had to pause to keep himself from snapping. His hands turned into fists, “Fuck, Hope, “ He couldn’t even finish his sentence. 

    Hope felt her face burning and she couldn’t look at him. She knew who put those words into her head even though she felt it was her own voice really…maybe..She didnt want to think about it too much. However those old voices came back, whispering in her mind like venomous snakes.

“You used to be able to wear that size you were younger! You were so small and thin then.”

“You used to be so cute, Hopie, what happened?”

“All you do is eat sweets and carbs, that’s why you keep gaining all that weight. I would go on a diet if I were you. Take this stuff it will help you lose weight.”

“You can’t help that you gained weight its all the medicine and depression, Hopie. You’ll just have to try to exercise more, maybe that will help it.”  

The violet haired woman shook her head, the voices of her mother, her father and brother disappearing. When she spoke again her voice cracked but it was louder than before, 

    “I'm not- I'm not built to wear something like this though!  I'm not “sexy” or 'hot' enough or even confident enough Karl! I'm chubby, my face is round, my thighs are huge and my shoulders are bulky, awkward and I'm either fat in some places and muscling in others I'm- I'm all wrong!"  She felt tears start to escape her eyes. She covered her face, "Please just let me change I already feel embarrassed about this as it is." 

"No," then with that Heisenberg pushed himself away and in one easy motion he picked up Hope like she was nothing. She let out a short scream and out of reflex clung to him tightly. 

"Karl Heisenberg, what are you doing?!! Put me down!" She threw her fists into his shoulders like a small child but he didn't even flinch. Karl was quiet as he crossed the small apartment before dumping her onto her bed, arms on either side of her, trapping her once again. She was blushing mad now and looked up at him with wide tearful eyes.

Karl stared down at her and huffed. He was shaking and his lips were pressed in a thin line, she even saw how tight he was gripping the bedspread she sat on. He looked pissed. He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes before letting it out slowly. Hope said nothing but her bottom lip was trembling and she felt tears streaming down her cheeks but was too scared to wipe them away. What was he thinking? She couldn't tell and that made her even more nervous. Finally he opened his eyes and spoke,

"Hope Ann Joyce I have been hearing you talk shit about your body for too long and I'm about to put an end to it." 

_____________________________________________________

Karl Heisenberg was a strong man. He felt he had pretty good self-control… for the most part, but damn if it wasn't being tested now. He was not expecting Hope to come out wearing that, but fuck he loved it. That little sleep thing was very short. It also really accented her curves and was very low cut making her show off a bit more cleavage than he was used to her sharing. Was that mesh too? Heisenberg swallowed something he really didn't want to think about his hormones at the moment and what was going on in his nether regions. Damn them! Now was not the time!

He saw the tears in her eyes and that's what really broke him out of his own thoughts. He hadn't wanted to make her cry or scared either. Damn it! Yet he had meant what he said he didn't want to hear her talk shit about herself any more. He hated how she talked so down about herself, she was beautiful and he was frustrated she couldn’t see that too.  Heisenberg breathed out through his nose again and finally knelt down to her level. Though he still made it hard for her to move. " Buttercup, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset, I just want to know who started putting those voices in your head to think about all these things.” 

Hope looked down at her hands, lips unmoving aside from the little tremble from the tears. He knew she knew but she wasn’t going to say anything. However, from the silence he had a feeling who it might be. He knew they had to be the culprits. “ From your reaction I think I might know who it is. They have put enough garbage in her head and you know they can just fuck right off. Dont you dare listen to a fucking thing they say because their damn liars, Hope, you know that right?” His eyebrows furrowed. She sniffled and couldn't look at him, arms still crossed over her chest, she was gripping her arms so tight her knuckles were turning white.  

Karl sighed and took off his gloves then covered her hands with his own, gently removing them from strangling her forearms. " Don't do that hun." He brought one hand up and wiped her tears away causing her to sniffle more allowing more tears to fall. " Now Violet, Im gonna keep saying this till I’m blew in the face: but damn it Hope you are a fucking goddess you know that right?” Hope folded into herself more, her face turning red again, she didn't answer. Heisenberg huffed and shook his head, “All right,   let me ask you something. Do you remember what you said about my scars?" 

He saw Hope swallow something and nodded. " Yeah." 

" Remind me what you told me."

"That-that they were beautiful..and you looked handsome." She hiccuped softly. Karl smiled and put an escaped strand of hair  behind her ear,

"Right, and damn right too. Though hearing it from you makes me feel a lot better. Now what have I told you about how you look?" 

Hope blushed again and let her eyes cast downward. " That…that I'm cute…and…other stuff," she said so quietly he could hardly hear her words though he could hear enough to sense the disbelief there. Damn.  Karl bit his lower lip before a spark of something lighted his eyes. 

"Hm, more than that…but perhaps I should remind you?” He moves to be leaning close to her, his head gently bumping her own. “Can I tell you why I love you and your body and perhaps why you should love it too?” He gestured to her thighs first. “These thighs, where do I begin?" He bent down and peppered them with kisses causing Hope's whole body to freeze and her eyes widened. His beard tickled her skin, making her squeak a little." I would never tell you what I would like these thighs to do to me.”  He thought briefly before clearing his throat, “You could probably kill me with these and I wouldn’t even care but you know why else I love these, why you have these gorgeous pillars? Because you work out and you skate, and you walk your dog. Things you love, you should be proud of these gorgeous thighs Buttercup!"

Hope just blushed and tried to look into his face. His eyes were bright and his face had that  warm expression that always brought her comfort. She didn't speak but nodded timidly. He was right; she did  love to do all those things.

He moved closer now, bracing his knee against the bed frame on the other side of her body, again blocking her from trying to move away but forcing her to back up into the bed and lay down. She looked up at him with those doe eyes and he just looked at her as his hand traveled up,  pulling the fabric of her nightie up to show her stomach and love handles. " Now this part is even more beautiful." He bent down and  kissed from the top of her stomach all the way down, again his beard tickling her skin. Her body twitched slightly but she didn’t try to get away.  He turned his head up to her face with a hum,  "Your stomach is perfect, and a perfect place for my hands to rest when I’m holding you right? Not to mention its filled will love, love of your baking. Making you incredibly sweet. Who wouldn't want that hm? "  His eyes wandered up to her chest causing Hope immediately to feel self conscious. He saw her arms twitch and move to block his gaze but he laid gentle hands on both of them, stilling her. He again much like the previous parts of her body, decorated her breasts with kisses even going to her neck and tops of her shoulders. When he pulled back to look at her reddening face, there was a brief look of hunger before it disappeared with a blink of his pale green eyes. 

"You wonder why your shoulders are so strong? Aside from lifting everything in that damn bag of yours and everything at your damn job it’s because you're carrying these beauties all the time and it’s hard work. But I think you know the perks of having big boobs, right? You use mine all the time as pillows,” He said this using a hand to motion to his own broad thick chest,  “I bet yours would be nice ones too." 

Hope was blushing madly now and made a little strangled noise, " That-that seems more to your benefit." She squeaked. Heisenberg chuckled, 

"It doesn't have to be." His eyes showed mischief ." I know how I could change that." 

"Karl!" She stammered, her face near the color of a strawberry. It was a wonder she hadn't fainted yet. He let out a rumble of a chuckle and moved his hands away allowing her to cover her chest once more. Cheeky devil.  Heisenberg looked down at her trying to search her face but she wasn’t looking up at him again. He sighed and cupped her face again, his thumb gently stroking her cheek before moving to caress her lips. She finally turned to look up at him, eyes wavering, did she still not believe him? He bent low, close to her face until his nose gently bumped hers and lips brushing her own, ever so slightly. She made a little noise before she moved her head up so their lips could meet , taking her own hand and cupping his own. Her own thumb going over one of his scars. The kiss was slow and deep but telling easily of how they both felt about each other. She brought him closer to her and he obliged. His hand went to free her violet hair from its ponytail so he could run his fingers through it freely. She mimicked and let her fingers comb through his hair letting a small groan escape his lips. They remained like this for a short while more before they broke away, breathless.  Heisenberg pulled away to look down at her with his  prehnite eyes into her emerald ones; his filled with that love and longing. 

"I would kiss every inch of your body telling you it's praises. I could tell you how I wouldn't want any other woman in my life. But it wouldn't mean a damn thing if you don't believe it yourself, Hope." His voice was soft and wispy as he stroked her face. She leaned into his touch, face warm until she moved to kiss the palm of his hand. 

Hope let out a breath and her eyes wavered again, “I believe you and I want to accept myself more but it’s going to take time to get rid of those other voices but at least I’ll have yours to quiet them.”  Heisenberg eyes crinkled with a small smile, 

“All I ask is that you try and I would be more than happy to have some daily reminders for you.” 

Hope’s lips turned into a light smile, “I will, I promise, Karl.” She searched his face, she honestly didn’t deserve him. How the hell did she end up with him? Never in a billion years did she think she would feel this comfortable, this safe with anyone but here she was.  She reached up to him, to pull him close, “Come here,” she whispered . He hummed a reply and the two of them moved further onto the bed, kicking off their shoes so they could cuddle and hold each other. Heisenberg moved to lay on top of her, resting his head on her chest, arms hugging her like she was a large stuffed animal. She had let one hand travel down his shoulder blades, making small circles with her fingers while her other hand   brushed his hair back. Karl made a little rumble of approval while his eyes slowly closed like a content house cat. Outside their little room rain started to fall, and thunder rumbled. The once bright room grew dark with that gray light from the sky. The rainy weather suddenly cast a spell of sleepiness over the room and the occupants inside it. 

“This mean you're keeping the nightie?”  Karl murmured, eyes peeking open briefly before closing again with a hum as her fingers trailed from his scalp down to the ends of his hair slowly. .

Hope huffed a laugh, “Mhmm, at least for a while. I think the donation place is closed now anyway and its raining. I would rather be at home when it rains.”

“Hm… guess that leaves the day open?” 

“I suppose so, want to take a nap maybe bake later?”

“Mmm, sounds good.” He purred before situating himself more. His ear to her chest, he could hear her heart beating a bit fast, it was calming though. “I was right, you know.”

“Hm?”

“Your boobs make great pillows.” Hope fingers stopped moving through his hair and she snorted.