#body connectedness

Would you bet on yourself? http://floatsting.com/blog/2014/1/28/stacking-your-athletic-deck

I've been avoiding it to give my hands time to heal from playing too much. And I knew I wouldn't be able to play long today. Both because I'm still pretty sick and because the callus on one finger peeled off and it's tender. But I wanted to try a little. It for some reason felt weird to be holding it. (Maybe because the last time I used it was before one of those "time blocks" my brain imposes after major events.) But it became easy shortly after and I noodled around for a bit. Then I ended up playing a song from one of the Zelda games, completely from memory. Then I put it away. I was surprised how good the violin sounded. I don't know why. I just was. I'm looking forward to a time when I can get that custom bridge put in. Thanks to being able to pay gradually. I was even more surprised how it felt. Like I've been feeling more like my body is me than I ever have. But playing this violin intensifies and deepens the sensation. Even now cuddling with Fey she feels more real as well. I think I'm beginning to get out of a lifelong problem that I always accepted as the norm.