#bo(jan)2

Here’s Bojan doing… I’m not exactly sure what

Heaaaavy breathingggg

(credits for the first gif)

yeah

Psst, anon, I found your ask at last! 😅 As you may have seen, I did complete this, and it's up on AO3 here as well!

The past few months have been such a whirlwind of activity that Jan thinks even he should have no problem sleeping, but here he is on the night – or, by now, surely early morning – before their semi-final, still half-awake no matter how determinedly he’s keeping his eyes glued shut. Every time he drifts for a moment, he finds himself right back in reality. He knows what the problem is, of course. They’d all decided to crash in his and Jure’s room after watching the first semi-final, but while the other three are out cold in the other bed – Kris and Nace huddled close with Jure channelling his not-so-inner cat to sprawl across them – he’s lying next to the only one of them that has to perform live. He can picture exactly how Bojan will be staring up at the ceiling, shoulders rigid and hands clenched on top of his stomach. He can practically hear the grinding of his jaw and the whirring of his thoughts and it’s keeping him awake. “You’re thinking too much.” He feels Bojan freeze immediately next to him. Busted. They’ve tried to convince him to talk to them when he’s feeling wound up like this. There’s only so many times they can realistically go over the same ground, but until the contest is over and done with and they know for a fact how things went, they can at least reassure him. Their success so far has been… limited. He can hear the denial hovering on Bojan’s lips before he replies. “No, I’m – ” “Bojan,” he cuts him off, cracking open his eyes blearily. Sure enough, he’s lying flat on his back, though his head is now turned towards Jan, eyes emerging wide and guilty as Jan gets used to the gloom. “Yes, you are.” They stare at each other for a long moment before Bojan relents, heaving a sigh. “It’s just...” He looks away again, staring back up at the ceiling as though the answers are written there. “What if I screw up, Jan?” “You won’t.” “But what if I do?” “But you won’t.” Jan insists, wondering how many different ways it can be worded. “You haven’t before. Why would you start now?” Bojan shakes his head, still not meeting his gaze. “This is... it’s different.” He's not wrong. This is completely different to anything they’ve experienced before, and performing for millions across the continent is a daunting enough prospect when all you have to do is get up and play pretend with a guitar; the pressure Bojan is under is something else entirely. “But that’s what we wanted, right?” And it still is – he knows there’s still the same gleam in Bojan’s eye when he talks about dreams of world tours and record-breaking sales, even if it’s now tinged with something worryingly like panic. “I know, but now we’re here...” His words trail off into the not quite silence of the room, but Jan knows what he means. It’s different, talking about Eurovision as a gateway to success versus actually having to walk through it. He reaches out, casting an arm over Bojan to pull him closer. Bojan’s hand clamps over it as though it’s a lifeline. When he next speaks, his words are barely more than a whisper. “I don’t know what I’d do if I let you guys down.” And, really, isn’t that how they all feel about each other? Jan certainly feels the sting of it deep down, even while knowing they all have each other’s backs. Bojan will know the same, of course, but Jan knows that’s not what he needs to hear right now. “You won’t.” he repeats, hoping it will go in this time, and then darts forward when he feels Bojan stir to speak. Without thinking, he presses his lips against Bojan’s throat, feeling the warm skin hitch with his breath. It lasts barely more than a few seconds but seems to have been grounding enough that whatever Bojan had wanted to say is apparently well and truly forgotten if the slightly stunned expression on his face is anything to go by. “Come on, sleep now.” Jan says firmly, closing his own eyes and squeezing Bojan reassuringly. It’s only when he feels Bojan exhale and unwind a moment later that he can let himself drift off again.