#bmv7

The writing “ANNANDALE HOTEL” on the corner of the street sent goosebumps over my entire body. This is where it all began, where the band began. 

It´s a full life-circle moment, glancing over to Calum, I can see that he is feeling the same way. He and I never went back to this place, it all happened too fast: Going viral, being on tour with my brother Louis and 1D. Even if we wanted, we spent no time thinking about going back here. 

And as much nostalgia as I am feeling right now, the thought of setting a foot into the bar where I watched 5SOS perform in front of a crowd for the first time makes my head spin.

The guys are filming their music video for the single “Old Me” today and all four of them wanted me to be a part of it. When Calum first asked me if I wanted to be a part of this historically important project, I denied. It seemed like the most realistic thing to do, for both my anxiety of being bullied by the media for simply existing, but also to have less attention on me. 

It took Ashton, Luke and Micheal to come to our house and begging me to participate. They wanted to make the video sequence to look as realistic as possible and me not being there would apparently be unbearable. And, I mean? Who could not say yes to 3 friends pleading at you? Right, me neither. 

Fast forward, it was a warm February morning and me and Calum collectively took a moment to prepare ourselves for this nostalgic experience we were about to witness. 

We were the first to arrive besides the camera team. Patiently waiting for the others, I noticed Calum nervousness. We were standing in the middle of the bar, staring right at the stage they played on 10 years ago. I grabbed Calum´s arm and he looked down on me. “Is everything alright?” I whispered, not wanting to have the technical team eavesdropping on us. 

Calum nodded, but seemed absent, like he is lost in the past, in something that keeps his mind busy. 

“Don´t lie to me. I know there´s something on your mind.” I gave him a soft smile. “You know you can talk to me, right?” 

“Thanks, sweetie. But everything´s alright. It´s just a lot to take in, you know?” 

Even though that didn´t seem like the honest answer, I didn´t ask further. If he didn´t want to talk about it, then I should leave it. 

Sooner or later, Ashton, Luke and Micheal arrived and with them the younger actors that would portray them as teenagers, playing their first ever concert. 

What I didn´t knew, the team also casted a younger me. In front of me stood a 17 year old girl living not far from where the Annandale Hotel is, whose name would be Milly for the next hours of shooting this music video. 

To be honest, I couldn´t move. It caught me completely by surprise, but I still had enough control over my own body to go up to her and introduce myself. 

“Hey, I´m Milly. You´re me?” I asked with an amused smile on my face. 

“Hello, so nice meeting you. I´m Nico.” Her straight blonde hair did look exactly like mine and even her smile reminded me of old photos I still have of my time in Australia. 

“Come on, wanna meet the guys?” Nicos face lit up and I immediately knew she was a huge fan when it then turned into a mixture of shyness and excitement. “You like them?” I asked. 

She nodded aggressively. “Been listening to their music since their tour with One Direction.” As soon as she said that, her face was adorned with a form of horror. “Oh my god. I completely forgot you´re Louis Tomlinsons sister.” she breathed out. 

I chuckled. “Milly Tomlinson is my name, correct. So come on, let´s talk to the guys.” 

Nico hesitated, but she was too curious to let the opportunity slide to me her idols. 

“Calum, I found a fan.” I said, gently touching Nico´s back to introduce her to my boyfriend.

Before we could actually start shooting, it was a lot back and forth, we needed styling, the right outfits. There was a lot of work going into these shootings every time and I was in awe a little more every time as well. 

Me and Calum stayed close during the preparation, he knew how much pressure was on me without me saying a word, I guess he could sense my head aches by now. 

“Okay, let´s go guys.” the middle-aged man who was in charge of everything stood up and talked to the team. 

“We are first going to recreate the scene with the young actors, can I please get Harry, Tim, Peter, Lucas and Nico up on the stage?” 

The five of them walked up to the tiny staircase to get onto the stage. The group all in all had a stressed look on their face, already begging for it to be over probably. I saw so much of us in these kids, I wouldn´t even question it, if they told us, they were all secret relatives of us. 

“Aren´t they amazing?” I heard Calums voice next to me. When I glanced over to him, I saw him staring at the stage, just like he´s watching his younger self, like he travelled through time. 

“YOU are amazing.” I responded, making him smile. 

When he looked over to me and our eyes met, the brown of his eyes still made me melt like chocolate, as if there weren´t 10 years between our first meeting and today. I still love this man till death tears us apart. 

He gave me a quick kiss on the lips before he walked up to Micheal to talk something over. Even though it never seemed like it, my man is nearly as nervous as me at video shoots, but it never shows. To calm him down, it helps talking to one of his band mates who are in the same situation as him. 

Sooner or later, I had no idea where my boyfriend was, I was too focused on our younger selves doing an incredible job in front of the camera. Ashton helped his mini version how to play the drums so it look authentic and I talked to Nico a bit about how it really was to be watching the four guys 10 years ago, I guess it helped her to get more into the role and to portray my emotions better. 

“Okay, scene 3, take 5” someone shouted and the cameras rolled again. “She looks so perfect” played over someones phone audio, just so the actor for Luke could mouth the words and everyone else played their instrument to the beat. 

“CUT!” The cameras stopped filming and the actors stopped mid-action. “Okay, that´s it. Good job everyone, enjoy your break.” 

I just decided to go find Calum when Luke walked up to me. “Hey, Milly, could you get my phone from the dressing room? I must´ve left it there but don´t have enough time to go back right now.” 

I did question why he couldn´t just do it himself, since the producer officially called it a break, but I still went to do my friend a favor. 

As I walked through the door to get to the improvised dressing rooms for the band and other actors, the first thing that catched my eyes, were the rose petals on the ground.

Tons and tons of red roses lying on the ground.

I froze. Was this what I was thinking this is?

Slowly, I let my gaze wander through the dressing rooms. And there he was.

Calum, the love of my life, the man I turn to, who knows me like no one else was, kneeled in front of me. 

It all started to blur because I wasn´t able to hold back the tears that already ran down my cheeks. 

I got closer to him and asked. “What are you doing here?” I couldn´t hold back a quiet chuckle. 

“The thing I should´ve done way sooner.” tears were shimmering in his eyes as well, I noticed. “Mildred Tomlinson, do you want to marry me? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” He asked the question and I couldn´t help it but think about all the times I thought of him proposing to me or marrying Calum. We never talked about it, I was too afraid to ask him, if he would even want to marry me. 

And even though I secretly hoped to marry him one day, I never in my wildest dreams imagined him on one knee with a small little box in his hand. I thought it wasn´t his thing. That he wouldn´t want to make a big scene, Calum is a silent and introverted guy after all. 

“Yes! Yes, of course!” I shouted and ran up to him to wrap my arms around him and be surrounded by the love of my life. 

He gave me a little kiss on my cheek and even after all these years of being in a relationship with him, the butterflies came alive in my stomach and flew around like they never have before. 

I´m going to get married. 

I let Calum go and he put a small silver ring with a shiny diamond on my finger. His hands were shaking, so were mine, I don´t think I´ve ever been more happy in my entire life. 

“I love you, you idiot.” 

I heard loud clapping behind my back and found myself in front of not only the bandmates of my now-fiancée, but the entire camera crew of the music video who were filming all of this. 

“Did you plan this?” I asked in utter disbelief, my gaze wandering between Calum and the other guys, standing in the door.