#bmfts

I was enamored when seeing this neon sign during Pisaeng's scenes and I happened to stumble upon the name of the actual bar in Bangkok. It's called the feelingbar Ari if anyone's interested with this bit of info.

Okay, okay, now we have my attention. Are we going to discuss asexuality or other sexualities where sex isn't a focus in the romance? Is this actually going to be about not wanting to have sex but wanting romance regardless?

I am very interested in where this is going. Because, it is true, nothing Kawi has done has shown any interest in sex. The issue here being how normalized and normalized that lack of sexual desire is in this type of BL relationship and how common it is for one character to just never be interested... the fact that this is an actual discussion makes it much more interesting.

And we might not be.

No, looks like we're having a conversation about allowing yourself freedom in expereince sexual desire instead. Which, while interesting and important in these shows, is different than where I thought we might be heading.

Note: this does not have to be true for everyone regardless of your relationships status or lack thereof. I love Max to death but this is very allosexual of him.

Again, I get it, I see where the show is coming from and the messaging the show is giving here but... it doesn't have to be like that.

Okay, so we went back to 'maybe yes we are talking about asexuality and a lack of sexual desire'. Which is fine by me and absolutely enjoyable. @absolutebl This feels like the answer to BMF and SOTUS at the same time.

And back to the need for open and honest communication between, well, everyone. Especially important in the struggle of sexuality and the inherent need to have these discussions with the person you love even when they're hard.

Kawi has gone from convinced he was a straight man to facing down the idea of being gay and ace, of being romantically attracted to Piseang but with no urge to actually have sex and what that means.

He loves Piseang, we know he does, but how does he balance that love with a lack of sexual desire if he's worried about losing Piseang? How does he speak openly about something he never imagined?

We saw Kawi say he would be more than happy to simply hold hands in bed forever. We saw Max say that he has sex before he ever starts dating anyone. We saw Piseang's desire but also willingness to follow Kawi's lead.

Three different approaches to the idea of sexuality and sex in a relationship and none are right and none are wrong but we did end with the implication that Kawi agreed to sex with Piseang as something new after a day or rejecting new ideas and no discussion about his own thoughts on sex.

So... is this asexual erasure? Is the idea of this episode that Kawi was avoiding sex out of fear rather than a lack of desire?

There is no evidence either way for that. Because there is no singular way to be ace. Kawi doesn't have to be sex repulsed to be ace. Heck, he doesn't have to be ace. He might be demi and only discovering what sexual desire is because he's finally found that part of himself with Piseang.

It was interesting to have the entire conversation with Max revolve around sex and sexual desire and not include asexuality but I also understand it because this is a discussion a lot of BLs over the years have stayed away from entirely (see the blushing maiden trope via @absolutebl because it is a DOOZY, honestly) so is this about asexuality or is this about the idea that for certain people society has said that desire is wrong?

What kind of societal commentary are we exploring with Kawi's reluctance? IS this about asexuality or a fear of sexuality? Is this about how he doesn't want to have sex or about how his reluctance is shaped by society in a way he doesn't even see? Is this commentary on older BLs and their lack of examination of this reluctance?