#blue--green

OKAY SO ARTHURIAN TIME @blue--green Yeah Guinevere is real, but she doesn't betray Arthur (or if she does she's much sneakier about it than she is with Lancelot or Arthur is much cooler with it) Lancelot is also France's self-insertion character. And a really flat one too. Like, My Immortal, Mary-Sue/chosen one level. They honestly expect us to believe the only French knight there was the purest or heart and soul and also the one destined to ring the Holy Grail-Arthur's white whale-with a really weird backstory of how he gets discovered? I'm just going to leave it at the fact that he is 100% fake and didn't come around until 1485 with Sir Thomas Mallory's Le Morte de Arthur. The fact that Lancelot is continually used in modern day retellings of the story drives me NUTS. ARTHUR GOT INTO THE MESS WITH MORDRED ON HIS OWN HE NEEDED NO HELP WITH THAT. But I digress. The whole sword-in-the-stone thing "if he be so worthy" (wait no that's Thor oops) isn't really true either? It just makes for a nice story. Plus Arthur's back story is way more messed up than the Disney movie and pulling a sword from the stone. Arthur just united Britain against Saxon invaders and there's this whole thing with red and white dragons predicting which way the war against the invaders will go but that's obviously legend as well OBVIOUSLY. (Coincidentally, the Disney movie is based off a section of the book The Once and Future King, which I highly suggest reading. The movie is pretty close to the book, except the book is WAY more in depth with Merlin changing him into different animals, and each animal representing a system of government and the philosophical discussion of Might is Right vs Might is Not Right and everything in between. It's a good book. Heavy, but good.) Arthur is actually the child of Uther Pendragon's rape of Egraine, so he kind of has to deal with that. And there was a Merlin, but instead of the court wizard he was more of the head advisor who also practiced augury and I don't think his name was actually Merlin but I forget. ANYWAYS Arthur kind of totally did (unknowingly) do the nasty with his half sister Morgana, resulting in Mordred. Except Arthur didn't know Mordred was his? Merlin just came to him one day after his (unknown) adventures in incest and told Arthur "hey, bee tee dubs, you totally slept with your half sister recently and according to these omens I'm seeing she's gonna have your son who will one day kill you and destroy "Camelot" (I forget if it's actually called that) aka your life's work." Arthur, being the wise, sensible king he is, goes "holy shit! Welp, guess I gotta kill all the boys in the kingdom under the age of one! That'll solve my problem!" Not. Surprisingly, that didn't work. Mordred lives, infiltrates Arthur's Round Table, and proceeds to Fuck Shit Up as he's, understandably, a bit upset. Arthur did try to kill him when he was a baby and did succeed in killing a bunch of innocent babies in the process. Shit's gonna burn after that. So the final battle happens, where Mordred is killed by Arthur's hand, but deals Arthur a mortal wound so Arthur is carried off to Avalon to die/live with the Fae (another legend insert. Anyone Celtic will tell you that you stay the FUCK away from the Fae much less go live with them. The Fae are called the Good Neighbors much in the same way the Furies are called the Kindly Ones) and there's this whole thing where Arthur tells one of his knights to go throw Excalibur into the lake where the Lady lives (insert Monty python joke here) and the dude doesn't at first but finally does and so Arthur does in peace knowing the sword has been returned to its rightful owner. So back to Mordred. Dead on the battlefield. Line shoulda ended with him, right? Wrong. Before said Final Battle, he hooks up with a village girl and gets her pregnant. So the line is continued on that way. And continues and continues and continues. The MacArthurs breed like rabbits. But no where in there is race or skin color mentioned at all. Arthur could have been black and just because he's English nobility does not mean he has to be white. Or that village girl Mordred shacks up with could have been black. No way of knowing. So Idris Elba could 100% be Roland and anyone who says otherwise can fight me.