you're watching a show only for a ship and the show itself is not even remotely ship centric, but you insist on twisting each and every scene into being about your ship, ignoring the actual reasons, motives and context behind the characters' behaviour and choices, and you're constantly erasing a major character/reducing their role to nothing more than a cheerleader for your ship because you can't be bothered to pay any attention to anything that is not related to your ship, and you lack the emotional maturity to engage with the show without funneling everything back to your ship.
I can't tell you to not watch the show (that's not my job) but it's sometimes good to take off the shipping goggles, wipe the dust off them (cuz u barely move them) and watch the show for what it actually is. the show is so much more than your narrow field of vision (which is something u can change btw)