#bllbllfkd

there were often times you felt alone during this heart-warming school trip, despite being in a relationship with--what seemed to be--one of the most affectionate people on this island.

walking with him around the islands, you could always see his eyes wander elsewhere when he held your hands. he would look at others and squint, and you felt like he was always trying to find something behind those closed eyes.

it had never dawned on you that Teruteru could eventually leave you for someone else until now. of course, he came off perverse and invasive, but he was always kind and caring, no matter what. those qualities are what gets people drawn to him, as well as his heart-warming cooking.

there was never a time in your relationship where you were nervous about him, or his relationships with others. he was a loyal man, and you knew that from the constant reminders of how much he loved you. the man would shower you in affection any chance he could get, snuggling up close with praises right underneath his tongue.

but you felt that, right underneath that same tongue that would drown you in praise and reassurance, were lies. lies that he wasn’t thinking about the men and women with you on the island, lies that he wasn’t thinking about being with them.

it was hard to believe when all he did was stare at them during your time together.

so, when you both were walking towards the hotel to cook dinner in the kitchen together, it had sunk into your chest and weighed you down, a heavy sigh leaving your mouth.

he, like always, had noticed, “what’s wrong, darling?”

“i’m--i’m just a little tired, is all,” you stuttered, nervous from your racing thoughts and weighted chest.

you could see the creases on the bride of his nose as he processed your words, heaving from the box of ingredients in his hands. he didn’t know whether or not to trust in your words, and if he was honest, he didn’t feel like you were being completely honest with him, either.

the walk around the pool had been more awkward than both of you had anticipated. you didn’t know your answer would make him respond in such a worried way, and he never expected you to.. lie to him about how you felt. you had never lied to him about his cooking, or how some of his actions made you uncomfortable, or how he should tone down his comments a bit.

he was always willing to change for you, even if his habits didn’t die down right away.

he huffed as you both set down the boxes on the island in the middle of the room, both puffing and panting from the climb up the stairs.

you heard your boyfriend chuckle, “well, we know that the stairs aren’t the only thing that’s going to make you pant tonight.”

you averted his gaze, a small smile formed on your face as you humored him. that smile had lifted a few of his worried from both his mind and his chest.

and he had quickly gotten to work.

it wasn’t new that you’d help your boyfriend out in the kitchen, and from some of Teruteru’s suggestive wording, some people had even suspected you two might have done some X-rated things in there as well. whether or not that was true had stayed between you and the tiny man.

but as you helped him chop the ingredients, your eyes poured out with tears. it could have been the onions or it could have been the dam you steadily built up finally cracking, but whatever it was, it had caught the smaller man in the room by surprise.

he had halted his cooking to look at you sympathetically, small, muffled sobs making their way into his ears as he walked up to you to wipe the tears off your face.

seeing you this way broke him.

“love--love- darling...what’s wrong? why are you crying in my kitchen?” he tried to lighten the mood, smiling for you.

you tried your best to keep the sniffles and sobs to a minimum, “do you-- am i- am i not good enough anymore..?”

now, where did that come from? he wondered.

the nervousness in his chest, the feeling he had done something wrong to hurt you--to make you cry like this, had weighed him down once again, head too filled with anxiety to worry about his voice.

although his smile had slowly turned into a small frown, the softness in his voice did not disappear, “now, what has you sayin’ that? f’course not, love..”

the vulnerability he had in the room right now had fluttered your heart, and the gentle tone in his voice had broken down the walls you catered to.

“you’re... always looking at everyone else. you’re staring whenever we’re together, and i can’t help but think i’m not enough for you--that i had done something- something wrong..!”

and the way you had cut yourself off, or maybe it was how you cried, or how you voice cracked from the sorrow in your throat, but he could feel tears welling up in his eyes as well, threatening to fall just from the sight of you.

his small arms wrapped around you, comfortingly, safely, “of course not! of course not..! i would never--”

“but it’s happen--happened so many times and- and it’s never gone--gone away because you’re always interested in whatev-ever everyone else is doing aroun-round us..! you’re probably with someone else when--when we’re not together, either!”

"why is it so hard for you to believe me..?!" he had not raised his voice, but it had a panicked feeling to it, as shown in the tone and his expression.

he was panicking. was his judgement played off that way? a cheap way of saying, “i am not interested in you anymore, so i’m going to look at others”? he’d admit that this was only his doing, and his this was the consequence of his past actions...

but it hurt. seeing you like this--seeing you hurt.

of course, his pride as a man would go down the drain if he admitted that, ”i was judging them to see if they were half as perfect as you and the things you do“, so instead, he wanted to reassure you.

“i would never leave you for anyone else. not in a million years, darlin’. you’re my number one priority and you always will be,” his arms held you tight, “i promise you that if you ever doubt me, i’ll just make it so you’ll believe my words are true.”

the grin that had welcomed your after you parted from the hug was heart-warming. your chest swelled with love as you pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him flush a bit and quickly head back to his duties in a flustered manner.

you supposed you’d just have to believe. keep the belief that he was changing, and for the better.

the fluttering feeling in your chest had made you smile.