Warning - Lost Post - Part 1 It has been quite a ride these past few months. I made my pro boxing debut, despite separating my shoulder before moving back to Ottawa to undertake a massive solo renovation of an entire house. One day I was reminded about a conversation I had with one of the doctors I met before a fight. He was concerned with my lack of balance, and asked if I had been KO'd recently, which I hadn't but I lied and mentioned I had had a cold recently. He replied I should keep an eye on it, and that if it begins to worsen or if I have memory loss or vision problems to see a specialist. Those thoughts were forgotten this past month. I had plans to compete a couple more times this year before hanging it up. However recently I have noticed that I enter rooms and can't remember why, or I can't remember where I placed a tool, more frequently. I never suffered a KO but I sparred hard and was in a lot of wars, frequently fighting way above my 122/126lbs weight class. Even before I fought competitively I always seemed to be defending my self and suffered some large head trauma. Having my head split open, once by a lunch box, once by a bike helmet and a third time (by accident) taking a back swing from a bat to the side of the head. After reading an article about early CTE symptoms I was concerned enough to discuss it with my doctor who then forwarded me to a brain specialist. I don't have any liesons on the brain (Thank God 🙏🏼) but I could tell he was concerned. As I move forward I have to cognizant of the head trauma I would receive, and how, if any it would further impact my life. I have a major and potentially life changing project in the works, with multiple forks behind it and ive begun to think of my future. But I've come to hard point. I was not famous and will not miss the adjulations from fighting. What I'm concerned about is how to fill that void now. - #boxing #muaythai #thaiboxing #kickboxing #k1 #giantkillerstan #martialarts #training #mma #pickering #ajax #toronto #6ix #crossfit #xfit #fitfam #ufc #pro #instagood #picoftheday #bagwork #letsgochamp #wegucci #staysmiling #blessup2018

Hahahaha. Unintentional use!? Sorry those roids fell into my Cheerios and I ate them repeatedly. Such bullshit! How many other athletes have claimed this and still were suspended. How many shots does this guy get? Nobody should have their livelihood taken away, but look what they did to Nick Diaz for smoking some weed... It's all about those Benjamin's... 👎🏼💸💸 - #boxing #muaythai #thaiboxing #kickboxing #k1 #giantkillerstan #martialarts #training #mma #pickering #ajax #toronto #6ix #crossfit #xfit #fitfam #ufc #pro #instagood #picoftheday #bagwork #letsgochamp #wegucci #staysmiling #blessup2018 (at Las Vegas, Nevada)

Warning - Long Post - Part 2 For 7 years I have spent a considerable amount of time fighting and training, and the slow realization that it has come to an end has left a large hole that I do not know what to do with, which in turn has led to bouts of depression. As my Reno project nears completion and my move back to Toronto comes closer I seem to drift farther from a solution. There seems to be no answer currently on how to fill a void that has been forcibly emptied. I will teach and hold pads, but most importantly not only fighting, but sparring has come to a sudden halt as I have been directly faced with questions of my mortality. The realization that you now understand why athletes become emotional in their retirement speech. What was ever present is now gone but alas, something will be born to take its place. For me I will continue to contemplate it. I will focus on my business venture but it terms of what I used combat sports for. A way to positively channel my anger, frustrations, and energy in a positive manner will find a new home. What it will be I have no idea. Maybe I'll try my hand at body building, or competitive Street fighter or COD competition along side my business venture. The future although uncertain, is also undecided. As enjoying as fighting is, we must be ever present in the knowledge and realizations that the damage our body takes. If the juice ever becomes not worth the squeeze, well, find something else to drink. Time for a new adventure of some sorts... ✍🏼😎😀💪🏼 - #boxing #muaythai #thaiboxing #kickboxing #k1 #giantkillerstan #martialarts #training #mma #pickering #ajax #toronto #6ix #crossfit #xfit #fitfam #ufc #pro #instagood #picoftheday #bagwork #letsgochamp #wegucci #staysmiling #blessup2018

Leave the lights on... 🕯️ - #her #lightson #morningmusic #positivevibes #vibes #wakeupmusic #dancehall #reggae #rnb #hiphop #rap #electro #dance #letsgochamp #giantkillerstan #wegucci #staysmiling #notings2018 #blessup2018