#blerrrghh

Is it because I don’t care about it at all? It’s like an ongoing art project for me I don’t even think of it as hair.

But I dont wanna disappoint people when I change it. But I hate leaving it the same ugh

I can fake a smile, and put on an act, pretend that im just 'fine' & that I aint all that out of wack, infront of people, I can be fake and pretend to laugh, flash them a fake smile, and put on a piece of magnificent performaning arts, if i wanted to, I could fake that I'm not hurting at all, but truth is that I am, and behind all the closed doors, I lay here naked, cold, empty and broken, crying, screaming, wishing and hoping, for shit to go back to when my heart was warm and open, back to when I was once, more whole than ever, because you fulfilled me and completed me with all of your love, all that we said and shared, and promised from all up above, i know it is totally and utterly out of our control, but that doesnt mean that i still aint hurting you know, when i replay shit over in my mind, it hurts so bad, i cant stop crying, like when you said never, never would there be another but me, never will our hearts be set to have to flee, never will our bodies be touched by another human being, but now im scared youll pass by something amazing and be fleeing, =S that would kill , no doubt about that, i know it's "reality" but i aint a realist, i'm inlove, i'm in a fairy tale of belief and hope and many wonderful things, things will sort them selves out, it is meant to be, so it will, i know it will. we were meant to be our first and our last, kiss, love, touch, but bla bla bla, reality is now, so much worse than a bad dream, though I aint budging from this point I'm locked in love with you at all of the stitched up seams, patience is a virtue, all i know is that i love you, i got nothing left to say or do, except all that's in my heart boo, i just got to wait, theres no control over this situation i guess boo, atleast not for now, but evenutally i hope, we just gotta go with the flow, "whatever happens, happens", but i aint letting go , nor never giving up, no matter the misshappens, even if you do find another and eventually move on, i do believe in our love, and forever I will stand, with faith in our love and fate to lead us back hand in hand, for we are meant to be, no other but you & I, we fit so perfectly, noone else can reach sky high, noone but us, our love, and all that we do share, for we are perfect together, not a bad thing in our way to care, we are stronger than all strength itself, we will pull through this and it all, cos our love , it can not be stopped, tamed or shelfed, what we have is neverending, its unconditional and very amazing, it is so strong and pure, it is the realeast of real loves, people spend there whole lives finding what we have, and i am so lucky to have found it now with you, its as refreshing as a pool, and as warm as the sun, its as cuddly as our cuddles, and as bright as stars shun, it is everything, beyond all words can explain, beyond all actions can portray, it is constantly amazing, everything is just the best, with you and i together, everything will all sort out, all of the rest, cos you make me happy, and i hope i do the same for you, and happiness is important, and though that is not all that matters boo, we have all the rest , even the entire world in our love boo. i'm telling you. when we smile and when we giggle & laugh, when we look in to each others eyes and feel like tingling spark, when our hands are joined and so perfect together and our lips are brushed against each other, when our bodies are intertwined and perfectly fit together, when our words and all that we say whilst looking in each others eyes or whilst we close our eyes and say, as we whisper in each others ears, everything we do and are andd all the we ever say, everything shit just splatters, all the bad shit just goes astray, you make the whole world a brighter place to live in, all the shit, the past, the crap, just shatters, you are so amazing, all we have is just so right, there is no other love like ours, our love is worth the fight, i know right now, it just cant work, but one day i know it will, i have faith in our love, and thats just my heart on the mode of spill, i just wish my words could explain all that I am feeling and thinking, all that you mean and are to me, and how much i am truly wishing, I wish my words could just make you see, all of which is in my heart and mind and how it is that I do see, youre all thats on my mind, now and forever, constantly, our bodys fit amazing and most definatly perfectly, together, you can't find no other with the chemistry of which we share, it is you & I, our love is higher than the limit of sky high, we are meant to be, eventually it is going to be the love with you and me.

I love you and miss you more than you'll ever know . You're beautiful and amazing in & out . We are perfect together. And were made for each other . And that is all I will ever know.

Forever & always.