Bleach 686 (and onward) has a weird, almost purgatorial vibe to it. 

Chad, who swore to only use his strength and powers to protect people and not harm others, is now a champion boxer. (?)

Ishida, whose passion lied with sewing and fashion, whose biggest fear was to end up like his father, is now a doctor and alone. (??)

Orihime COULD have had the chance to mature and outgrow her high school crush, to develop as her own person and hone her own interests, aspirations, and passions, (in her five lifetimes speech she also mentioned wanting five different careers, live in five different places) but she’s a doting housewife k 

And Ichigo. The guy who always felt like a misfit in the human world, who yearned for something more than his life, who felt most alive and electric and fulfilled as a shinigami than anything else, Ichigo with overwhelming power and an insane desire to save and protect and kick ass, is now a married guy with kids. And he’s got a bad haircut? And the girl he’s married to (while sweet and kind and beautiful) does not challenge him in any way, shape or form. (??????)

Also this spread this fucking spread 

like good old buddies and bros ichigo and rukia get totally platonic spreads like this bad boy 

and canon ichihime get this weird pose where ichigo kinda has his elbow on her head and orihime’s crumpled and nervous and crouched? the fuck

Rukia is getting married.

And it's not, it's not what she wants.

She isn't sure what causes it to happen now: why her vision has gone grey, or why she can hear her every heartbeat in her ears, or why it feels like she's shaking so much it's like she's managed to encase an earthquake beneath her skin; like something has been taken from her and her very being grasps frantically at the absence in its place.

She doesn't like it, hasn't liked it since the day she agreed to this, and she's glad, so glad, that the floor is so close because she doesn't think she can stand on her own anymore and take this -

"Rukia -"

Belatedly, she notices how cold she is, which is odd, but also not, Ichigo's always run a little too hot.

His hands feel like brands against her arms, and she shivers at the contrast, almost pulls away from the shock of it, but Ichigo's holding her tight, solid and real, and here, and god, why is she so cold?

She feels him talking against her cheek as he pulls her to his chest. Which is weird, she'll admit, but she can't really make out his words, like he's talking underwater and all Rukia can feel is the bubbles of his breath as they poppoppop against her skin. She thinks he's trying to be soothing, and it works until it doesn't - until she tries to tell him I'm fine and her chest hurts to lie.

"Can't breathe," she realizes, and her voice sounds weird too, muffled and wobbly and wrong; Rukia wonders if Ichigo knows it too, if that's why he stiffens up around her, why she feels his breath - shaky and loud like the rush of a tide coming in - against her ear, her neck.

He adjusts her and she finds herself clinging to focus on the rhythmic lub-dub-lub-dub-lub-dub of his heart.

She doesn't know how long she listens to it, only that she eventually notices the firm press of his palm against her back, moving in slow circles as his breath rustles her hair. She can hear the words better, a disjointed assurance of safe, here, I'm here.

Her chest hurts enough that she thinks it'll cave in on her, but Ichigo's keeping her safe from the collapse, holding her together, Ichigo is -

"You shouldn't be here," Rukia finally manages.

She isn't as startled as she should be to find that she's straddled on his lap. That when she looks up at him, their noses brush. That even as she tells him he doesn't belong, her fingers tighten telling him stay, stay, stay with every fistful of his shirt and - Rukia huffs out an awful laugh.

He isn't even dressed for -

"You shouldn't either," he tells her quietly, and he doesn't need words for the pleading in his eyes, the hard swallow he pushes down his throat before he hesitates, drifts closer; one kiss, two.

Against his lips, she whimpers, and he murmurs back, "Don't do this, don't."

She ignores her own tears, the way her body trembles with a new surge of adrenaline. "Can't, have to, Ichigo, I have to -"

"No, no you don't," he tells her fiercely between one kiss and another. Don't stay, Ichigo tells her with one swipe of his tongue, don't marry him.

And she knows this is only a temporary reprieve, she knows they can't, that she has to but-but it's always been easier to breathe with his mouth against hers.

It's always been easier to feel whole with Ichigo beside her.

Rangiku: [tells Orihime that she’s important to Ichigo too]

Karin: [openly says that she’ll only be impressed if Ichigo brings Orihime or a girl like Orihime home]

Rukia: [makes sure that Ichigo promises Orihime to protect her]

Shinji: [deliberately provokes Ichigo into showing strong emotions via hugging Orihime in front of him]

Ichigo’s Hueco Mundo rivals (Grimmjow, Nnoitora, Ulquiorra, etc): [constantly use Orihime to get at Ichigo and provoke him, realizing how uber protective he id of her]

Nel: [tells Orihime that Ichigo is fighting for HER, later hits Ichigo when she thinks he’s being rude to Orihime]

Ishida: [thinks to himself that Ichigo is VERY important to Orihime, mentally urges him to win his fights for her sake]

Ichigo’s Hollow: [raises Ichigo and himself from the dead to protect Orihime, openly saying so while looking at her, lays a massive smackdown on ANYONE getting near her]

Ginjo: [realizes that Orihime makes Ichigo fight better with her mere presence]

Riruka: [tries to question Orihime over Ichigo out of jealousy but gets politely told off and gives up]

Tsukishima: [provokes Ichigo into attacking him via indirectly taunting him over his brainwashed loved ones, gets slammed into a wall when he directly mentions Orihime]

Urahara: [gives Orihime a very sexy dress intending to have Ichigo see her on it and get flustered]

Yoruichi: [tells Ichigo that he’s a coward for being too blushy and flustered to flirt with Orihime, it’s clear that she knows how they feel for one another]

Chad: [directly asks Ichigo about Orihime’s sexy dress and later is quite happy when Ichigo cradles her to him to protect her]

Yhwach: [also takes time to point out how important Orihime is to Ichigo as he beats the fuck out of him]

Ichigo and Orihime: [are happily married at the end]

Gremlins on this hellsite: ... but no one saw Ichihime as romantic Brenda, what are you on, how can you say that, how dare you say that, Ichigo was always in love with Rukia and never with Orihime, you are so fucking stupid Brenda!!!!