#blasfleim

unease skitters below her skin. for the past weeks, she’s been unable to shake the low level of nausea that rolls in her belly. at first, she tried to convince herself it was the captivity, the helplessness, even as the word turned sour as powdered aspirin on her tongue. it had been some time now since she’s been a warrior of azgeda after it; it would be reasonable if being subjected to such tactics left an impression.

but she knows it’s more. 

she presses a dagger to the tip of her finger and watches a bead of dark, black blood well up where red once took its place. swallowing hard, she sheaths her knife and wipes the blood away, her footsteps steady as she searches out the one person who might be able to give her grounding.

                 “Whatever you do, I’ll do it too. Show me everything and tell me how.”

A smug smile was present on Josephine’s features as she looked at the other woman.  ❝ Gaia, right? ❞ She already knew the answer. She had talked to the flamekeeper when she was pretending to be Clarke.   ❝  I always thought you were one of the smartest of the group, you know. ❞ If Gaia had not been among the ones who had overthrown them, she could have been impressed by her intelligence.     ❝  Come on, you could smile. Aren’t we supposed to be all friends now? ❞ 

She wasn’t sure if it was because she’d never been religious or because the blonde was an earthborn, but she kept a polite distance from Gaia, emotionally. Which was actually a little annoying because Gaia seemed smart, if a little overly devoted to a piece of technology. But hey, people thought her own devotion to Bellamy was crazy, so who was she to judge. 

There was a part of her that liked the other woman’s devotion, liked that there was someone here who understood what it was like to dedicate everything you had to a cause, sacrifice anything you had to a cause, and be saved by that cause. It was a rare moment of downtime where their respective leaders were elsewhere, and despite her usual surliness, Fox was the first to speak, her voice almost friendly. “So... what’s your story with the fleim? How did you end up a priestess I mean?” Was priestess even the right word? She honestly had no idea, but hopefully Gaia would know what she meant. 

echo can’t stop the roll of her eyes that accompanies her long-suffering sigh as she reads yet another over-dramatic warning not to try the rituals described in the text. letting her book rest in her lap, she takes a long swig of her coffee, grimacing at the liquid that has long gone cold as she and gaia plugged away at their occult studies midterm project.

she checks her phone, notes that it’s nearing 11 pm. truly, they’ve been at this for far too long.

“ alright, tell me the truth, “ she says, setting the book down on the coffee table in front of gaia. “ you believe in more of this stuff than i do. have you ever tried any of it? do you actually believe anybody’s summoned a spirit with a yankee candle and some incense from their local head shop? “

        the commander opens her mouth, but at first, nothing comes out. for as long as she could remember, her destiny has been WRITTEN for her. taken from her family. robbed of the chance to watch her younger sister grow and sharpen her skills under trikru tutelage. expected to turn on those she grew up with -- brothers and sisters in arms. not given the opportunity to truly grief and process the death of a lover. ‘to be commander is to be alone’, resonates differently with her after all the years. 

it’s not that the warrior is ungrateful. becoming heda is of the highest of honors one might achieve in their society. but lexa thinks that if she only had a touch more INSIGHT, perhaps her younger self would not be in such a hurry to ascend.