Unresolved Trauma
I got some unresolved trauma I don't deal with
I gotta try hella hard just to feel shit
I just wanna feel life, I just wanna feel right, but it's hard when some demons crawl in bed with me at night
You gotta let go, cross over before the feelings haunt you
But everything that seemed steady a nigguh trys to hold on to
Even if it's pain, even if it's blame, even if it's darkness in the corners of my brain
Well fuck, looks like the walls are closing in
I've been fucked up and fucked up, and now I've lost so many friends
I'm a workaholic, steady running, chasing peace
But, sometimes it's like no matter how fast i run, peace is still out of reach
I just wanna hold hands, I'm off the walls with no Vans
Sick of sitting on my ass, it's time to make a stand
Nut up or shut up, I'm a man I'm owning my mistakes
But it takes more than glue and tape to fix the hearts we break
More than I love you, more than a few good nights
More than moments of intense passion when I'm laying down the Wesley Pipes
I wanna do it right, but at times it feels this fog don't get no clearer
I keep myself here, because I hate that nigguh in the mirror
You was born fucked up, always sick and close to death
That's why mama ignored you, that's why your pops fucking left
Did they see it early on, that you was crazy in the head
That's why you was tossed around, couch to couch, just another mouth to be fed
Soon fell in hate with myself, and fell in love with streets
Adopted by white trash and thugs, till I was knocked off my feet
When that relationship ended I turned my gaze to the door
Shards of crystal seemed so pure, I ain't feel shit anymore
All I craved was the drip, and the allure of the smoke
Look back on shit done and the person I had become, that I get sick to my stomach
Shit makes me wanna choke
Keel over and fall dead, I guess I couldn't see the ledge
I fell off, till I was caught by loose leaf, wood, and led
And with these tools I'll build a life a us, we the sacred 3
Myself, my love, and my life
That's the holy trinity
Do my best to keep us together, hate seeing us fall apart
So for now I box and lock up all these demons, and keep that shit in the dark
Unresolved Trauma
