#poetsofokc

I've got this fear, fear that I will always be alone.

I've got this fear, fear that you ain't ever coming home.

I've got this fear, fear that makes my hand reach for that gun.

I've got this fear, fear that I will fail my only son.

I've got this fear, fear I'll have to do it on my own.

With all these discombobulating thoughts, it's no wonder that I roam.

I've got this fear, fear that you'll find out, you are my weakness.

The type of fear that manifests itself, in deep dark secrets.

The type of fear, that creeps behind the shadows of the evening.

The type of fear, that broke a brother down cos' you were leaving.

With all of this inside my head, I'm fighting for the words to say.

The words that can convey, how badly I want you to stay.

These words, they leave my lips, you listen but you're not hearing me.

I'm stuck between what my soul says and what appears to be.

Anxiety is running rampant, throwing fucking tantrums.

Throw in a cocktail of xans, fireball, and dirty dancing.

I've made mistakes that would shame any man, and I have tried to make amends.

But everything here has a price, and that mistake cost me my friend.

Yet something so much more, that part of me that I adore.

That something I was searching for, now forgotten, like ancient lore.

I'm sorry for the lies, I'm sorry for the tears.

I'm sorry for the times you needed me, and I just wasn't here.

I'm sorry for the times we got in deep, and both came out too heated.

I'm sorry for betraying faith and trust, I'm sorry that I cheated.

I'm sorry that I wasn't stronger back then, like I thought I was.

I'm sorry that it took me this long, to truly define love.

I'm sorry for the things I never did and feel the need to do.