#bkadkins

But I so desperately wanted to. Every love I’ve entered, I wanted them to be enough. I wanted to be able to trust and love them completely, entirely, with my whole being and everything else I could ever become and accomplish. I wanted nothing more than to be done with my fairy tale search, for the love of my life. I wanted to tell myself every night that they were the one, I didn’t need to look anymore- I was completely and utterly happy with them. I wanted to believe their eyes, their lips, their short smiles and non-existent stares. I wanted to believe every time they said they’d never leave me, and they’d never love another as much as me. I wanted to believe in their words, the reassurance that lacked compassion, the hug that stopped too soon, the single quick kiss, and my cold hands and arms. I wanted to believe the quiet love between us while my mind screamed and cried for affection.

I wanted to believe in their love.