so formal!
full fic on AO3 here
for @zimbitsweddingofficial
day 1: pre-wedding
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Bittyâs in MooMawâs kitchen, helping her with the last batch of pies for the Fourth of July. Jack is helping his parents set up outside, putting his height and muscles to good use. Deep breaths, you can do this. Right as he gets ready to ask, MooMaw breaks the silence.
âNow, Dicky, why donât you tell me whatâs bothering you. Youâve been tenser than a mouse in a cat parade this afternoon.â
âSorry, MooMaw, I didnât mean to be. Itâs just, uh â I was wondering, um,â he exhales sharply before just blurting out, âIwaswonderinâifIcouldhavePopPawâsringtoproposetoJack.â
âOne more time love, these olâ ears didnât quite catch that.â
âI was wonderinâ, well, hoping, I could maybe â if you donât mind â and if you do thatâs totally fine I wonât be mad or anything â if I could have PopPawâs wedding ring.â
âPopPawâs wedding ring?â
âUh-huh. To propose to Jack.â
âNow Dicky, I know Iâm a little out of the loop, but I could have sworn I got a very excited phone call from your mother the day you graduated sayinâ you were engaged to the tall glass of water out there.â
 âMooMaw.â
âWhat? Itâs not like Iâm dead! Heâs a very attractive fellow,â she says, a wicked grin lighting her features. âBut arenât I right, yâall are engaged arenât ya?â
âYes MooMaw, he proposed to me and I said yes,â he says, kneading the pie crust dough a touch too hard. âI just â I wanted to propose to him as well.â He looks up from the dough to look her dead in the eyes.
âI want him to feel as amazing and wanted and loved as I did when he proposed. It was one of the best days of my life, MooMaw, and I love him. Why wouldnât I want him to get to have that feeling too?â
âOh, Dicky,â she cries, throwing her floury arms around him, âyouâve grown into such a wonderful man. I know PopPaw would have been proud to see who youâve become.â She pulls back to wipe her eyes.
âOf course you can have the ring. Itâs mean to be worn, after all, does no good to anyone just sittinâ in my jewelry box.â
âThank you, MooMaw.â Bittyâs not crying. Heâs not. Oh who is he kidding, heâs totally crying.
âI just â I thought it might be a sort of good luck charm. Yâall were married so long and you loved each other so much I just thought â â
âI already said yes, Dicky, thereâs no need to make me sob young man,â she says thickly, âyou stop being so emotional right now, we have pies to make.â
âYes, maâam,â he says, kissing her on the cheek before turning back to the dough.
Step one: complete.
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âBITTY!!!!!â
âYOUâRE HERE!â
Bitty canât help but beam as he walks up the sidewalk toward the front door of Haus 2.0.
âHi you two, Iââ Heâs cut off with a noise that doesnât sound human as heâs scooped up by Ransom and thrown into Holsterâs arms. These boys.
Theyâre all laughing by the time Bittyâs feet are on the ground again.
âItâs a good thing Iâm not making a pie 'till later, I wouldnât want to try and hold onto one while flying through the air.â
âBro, we would never endanger a pie!â Bittyâs never seen the two of them look so offended.
âGlad youâre here, Bitty. It hasnât been just us since we lived in the Haus!â Holster says.
They get inside and start on a six pack and get down to business.
âAlright so â it came? And neither Shitty or Lardo saw it?â Bitty asks.
âGot it right here, bro.â Holster hands him a small box pulled from the highest cabinet behind a collection of ugly vases.
âDo we get to know what this secret package is?â says Ransom.
âYeah, plus I need your help with the second part,â Bitty says as he carefully opens the box. He gasps. Thank god for Etsy, it looks perfect. They even managed to get his cowlick to stand up.
âUhhh, Bitty?â
âHmmm?â
âNot that it isnât stupidly adorable â look at the little C on your jersey â but why do you have a Lego version of yourself? No, better question, why was it secret?â
âBoth excellent points, Holtzy.â
âThis is how Iâm going to counter propose to Jack.â
Thereâs a beat of absolute silence and thenâ
âHOLY SHIT BITTY!â
âThatâs GENIUS, bro!â
The congratulatory screaming only dies down when they hear a door slam down the hall. Oops I guess we were being a tad loud for the other roommate.
âYou said you needed our help for the second part?â asks Holster.
âYeah, I want to make a Lego-sized version of the âyo marry meâ sign but I couldnât remember the colors or layout well enough and I know Shitty has it in his closet.â
âBitty, bro, your brain is so big. Our little frog, all grown upââ
ââAnd savinâ China!â Ransom finishes, giggling.
âOh hush you two,â he says, swatting them playfully, âNow then. I donât think it has to be Lego-sized because Jack will never be able to read it, but I think if we scale it down to about postcard size thatâll work as a nice backdrop.â
âAye aye, captain.â
Itâs a nice afternoon, and itâs hilarious watching two huge and broad-shouldered men hunch over a tiny piece of cardboard, arguing about font size while he makes a pie.
Well two pies. But one is mini pie as an apology to the random roommate. They may not be âdown to motherfucking clownâ but Bitty knows his friends (and himself) can be a lot to deal with.
Bittyâs just put the full size one in the oven when Ransom and Holster finish.
âYâall⊠It looks great. Thank you so much.â Bitty didnât think a sign that ridiculous would make him cry but thereâs definitely some tears.
âGot your back, Bitty,â Ransom says.
âMama Mia while we wait for the pie?â He laughs a little as Holster pumps his fist in triumph, âIâll just nip this stuff out to the car for safekeeping while yâall set it up.â
Step two: complete.
_X_Â _Â _X_
Everythingâs finally ready.
Heâs got the Lego-Bitty, with Ransom and Holster's sign as the backdrop. He made a pie for later (and about three kinds of cookies - so sue him he was nervous). Señor Bun is probably tired of having to listen to Bitty rehearse his speech by now. PopPaw's ring is nestled oh-so-carefully in Lego-Bitty's hands. Now he just needs Jack to get back from practice.
He hears the key turn in the door.












