#bitternmild

I've forgotten what almost love feels like.

I've forgotten I was capable of it.

I've just been living vicariously through music that sounds like it

That almost makes me feel it

But when the last chord plays I'm taken back into reality.

Like when you fall asleep sitting up and the car stops

When was the last time my breath hitched?

Not because I was pretending

When was the last time I was looking forward to seeing someone?

To make them smile?

I've forgotten that I deserve real love

I've forgotten almost love was never enough for me

I've forgotten I was greedy

That at one point I wanted all of someone

That I wanted them to love me.

I've forgotten that I hated almost love

And real love

And that I needed love

And that I only ever seemed to write about love when I've only ever experienced almost love