BITS TO USE
"that was my nickname in highschool" as a response to anything
"do my pants look like they're on fire?" when accused of lying
"not to get too political..." before saying something that is not political at all
"who hired this guy"
"bade umr mei mahilaon ko hoti hai kuchh kuchh parishaniya" #hindi
"happy birthday" when i'm talking to someone at night and it hits 12
"let me call it" when someone loses something that cannot be called
"phew, still under warranty" to the parents of a newborn
"it's sad, but it had to happen" to something that absolutely did not have to happen
"that does not sound like something i'd say" when called out for something i did in fact say
"siri where's the nearest bridge" any minor inconvenience, similar to "this is my 13th reason" or "i'm going to contribute to some statistics" or "i'm going to be in the newspaper tomorrow" etc etc
